Here’s the final batch of 2012 reviews. As we’re already in the middle of the end of the year articles, these reviews will (and have already, to an extent) pop up in those. Not that anyone’s really paying too much attention to what goes on with this blog.
I’m not even going to waste your time with the list of films I haven’t seen. Those you’ll find out from the other articles. This one is mostly for housekeeping, since I’ve been keeping the reviews all along, and they’re helpful so when you look at the other ones, you can double check that I did, in fact, say what I said I said.
The only real thing I should say is — here are the films that, as of right now, haven’t come out yet/ones that came out recently that I haven’t been able to see yet. Those are: Jack Reacher, The Guilt Trip, Not Fade Away, Parental Guidance and Les Misérables. I’m gonna definitely see Les Mis on Tuesday when it comes out, and the rest I’m gonna do my damnedest to see before their article goes up, which won’t be for a few days.
Let’s not waste time, here are the reviews: (more…)
Here is my next batch of reviews for 2012, this time counting all the films I saw between May and August. Most of them are all the films released during that time, and the rest are ones from the first third of the year that I never got around to seeing or couldn’t see before the first article went up. As you’ll notice — I’ve seen pretty much everything, as I always do.
As you should know by now, the reason I do this is to write down what I thought about all of the films of 2012 while they’re still fresh in my mind, and so I can juxtapose those thoughts with what I end up thinking about them come December, after I’ve had time to reflect, and either warm to a film or cool on it considerably. No movie deserves a singular “review.” I like to give them as many days in court as I can.
So — before we get into everything, let’s link to all the 2012 reviews from January through April, and then, as always, since I am fiercely loyal to these articles, link to the Wikipedia 2012 in film article. The latter, of course, is what I consider the most useful resource for finding out what is coming out each year (aside from this blog, of course, since I previewed a shitload of films in January, and would guess that I’ve covered about 90% of everything that will come out this year). (more…)
This is something I do every third of the year to keep track of how I felt about the films I saw. I use these reviews at the end of the year as comparisons to what I thought I’d think about the films (which I’ve not looked at since I wrote them). It’s fun seeing what I thought I’d think and then what I thought (since I won’t look at these until December as well).
Two things to note about 2012 before I get into the reviews: first — I changed the name. The Movie Year in Reviews is the pun I wish I thought up last year. Alas, I came up with it too late. So, I use it now. I’m very proud of this. The other thing is — I don’t remember what 2011 was like, but this year I didn’t watch anything. I mean, I did, but, I didn’t watch anything until April. I got through January all right, but after Ghost Rider I barely watched anything until April. I just did not give a shit about anything at all this year. The first four months are not like the summer, where you pretty much have to see everything within a week of release otherwise you need to avoid the internet entirely because you’re the only person in America who hasn’t seen it yet. So that was weird for me. Just not caring enough to watch the movies until they piled up so high I needed to get to it.
So that’s the preface. Let’s put the break here and get into specifics afterward? Mmkay? Mmkay. (more…)
I did the compiling — now it’s time to actually figure out what it all means.
I have made a list of every film that appears on Wikipedia’s 2011 in film article (and even some that don’t), as a list of all films that came out in 2011. I’ve cross-checked that list with every film I’ve seen this year (every single one has been reviewed in my Movie Year in Review articles: here, here and here), as well as all of the films I previewed back in January as they were, at the time, scheduled. Then I wrote a final review of my thoughts on the films as they stand now, days, weeks and even months after seeing them. And then I concluded with a quick analysis of how close I was, based on what I thought I’d rate the film back in January and what I actually thought about the film.
So now what? Now it’s time to add everything up, and really see how close I was, all things considered. Admit it, you don’t remember anything I said in those articles. You probably didn’t even read them. Come on. I know you. You know you can’t read. I’m compiling everything here, so you don’t need to go back and look at all those. I’m not sure exactly how I’m gonna go about it, so we’re both gonna find out together. Keep reading, it’ll be exciting. (more…)
So we took care of everything that came out. Now — let’s talk about everything that didn’t come out.
That is, everything that either was scheduled and was pushed, or was not scheduled but was in the process of being shot/edited/tinkered with/reshot/shelved/what have you, and still hasn’t been heard from.
First, we start with a shitty Julianne Moore movie. (The only film from the first six months of the year to not come out at all.)
And we reach the final portion of the year in Review. Don’t worry, this isn’t the end (technically that’s next year. Right Mayans? Right? Oh, right, you’re all dead. Too bad. I was curious to know if you guys had an enzyme called Mayan-ase). Later on today, I’m gonna put up an article about all the films I previewed back in January that didn’t come out at all (it’s not many), then tomorrow I’ll put up some numbers about all of this — how well I did and such, as well as talk about the films that surprised me, for better and for worse. That stuff.
But before we do that, let’s finish this up. First, a quick recap: In January, I previewed all the films coming out this year (that were scheduled at the time), and guessed what I’d think of them. This article will cover the films in the September & October and November & December articles. Also, over the year, as I saw the films, I kept track of what I thought about them. I did that here, here and here. Now what I’m doing is taking what I said in January (which I didn’t looked at after writing it, until now), taking what I actually thought about the movie, summing up what my thoughts on the films are now (having digested the films more), and then writing how close I was or not. Got it?
Today we continue seeing how well I did with my January predictions. To recap:
In January, I laid out the 2011 Release Calendar, previewing all the movies (as they were scheduled at the time) and writing what I thought I’d think of them. I thought it would be interesting to see how right (or wrong) I was. I’m cross-checking what I said with January with what I wrote in my reviews for the films as I saw them (in those Movie Year in Review articles). Today, we’re doing May through August.
Here are all my Year in Review articles: The Movie Year in Review (So Far) — the first third, January through April. The Movie Year in Review (2/3 of the Way Through) — May through August. And The Movie Year in Review (The Final Third) — September through December.
I wrote the films up as I saw them, so the reviews could be on any one of the three. But I quoted parts of what I said in January and the reviews (the pertinent sections) here. The links are so you can double check if you don’t believe me. It’ll be just like yesterday: what I said in January, what I actually thought, a final review, and how close I felt I was in guessing. Now, let’s get reviewing… (more…)
Back in January — within the first ten days of the start of this blog, even — I previewed the entire 2011 release calendar. You can see those articles here:
The 2011 Release Calendar (January & February) and The 2011 Release Calendar (March & April). We’ll stick with these two for now, since this will be split into three parts. (You won’t need to read them first, though. They’re only there in case you want to double check that I did, in fact, say what I said. You can cross-check what I thought I’d say from there alongside my Year in Review articles here, here and here.)
What I did was, I went and looked at all the films (as they were scheduled at the time) — what they were about, who was in them, who directed them — and basically formed an opinion on what I thought I’d think about the films. It was the kind of thing where — by this point, I know exactly what I’m gonna think about certain movies, or at least I think I do. So I figured I’d preview all the movies that were coming out, guess what I’d think of them, then revisit the list at the end of the year and find out just how right (or wrong) I was.
It’s that time. Now I get to go back — I deliberately didn’t read those preview articles after I wrote them. I didn’t want my actual opinions of the films to be swayed by what I thought I’d think. And now — I get to see which films surprised me, for better and for worse, and which fell precisely within my expectations (for better, and for worse). I’m excited to see how I did. (more…)
Back in April, I posted mini-reviews of all the 2011 films I’d seen up to that point. You can read that here. In August, I posted the second part. You can read that here. This is the third part. For reminder purposes…
I try to see everything that comes out. I believe that if you love movies, you should be open to seeing anything and believe you can get something out of any movie. You never know when a terrible movie will have something to teach you (however minor), even if it’s what not to do. Also, since I have this wonderful narcissism enabler, why wouldn’t I post what I thought of all the films I saw for people to read?
Not to mention, in like a week, I’m going to post the official Year in Review articles, where I go over everything. Back in January, I previewed what I thought I’d think about all the movies, as they were scheduled at that time. I’ll compare what I thought I’d think with what I actually thought, as well as what films changed dates, weren’t released at all, and what have you. These reviews are easy reference for that. I just posted them throughout the year because it was more topical to post them around when the films were released. (more…)
Don’t you love it when things rhyme?
Back in April, I posted an article where I reviewed all the films of 2011 (until that point) that I’d seen. As I always say, I do try to see everything that comes out. Or at least most of it. This year, I’m more lenient than I had been in the past. Either way, chances are, if a film came out (especially in wide release), I saw it. And if I saw it, and have this wonderful medium through which we as a people can feed our narcissism and put forth our opinions regardless of whether or not anyone cares about it, why wouldn’t I write up my thoughts on it?
I’m breaking up these articles into thirds for the year just to make it easier on myself come January. There’s no way I’m going to want to write up reviews on everything I saw throughout the year, then going back and doing what I’d planned on doing, which is compare what I actually thought about the films against what I thought I’d think about the films this past January when I wrote all those Release Calendar articles. That would be way too much work (and seriously, you don’t know how lazy I am). So I’m clearing out the cache every four months, making my future life easier as well as breaking up the constant stream of Oscar Quest articles.
This article will focus on every film I saw that came out after the April article was posted (so, post-April 24th), as well as a couple that were released earlier that I didn’t get around to seeing until after I posted that first article. But mostly these are all films from May through August. (more…)
I’ve tried to avoid these as much as possible, just because, the purpose of the blog at this stage is the Oscar Quest. I’d love nothing more than to write reviews for things, but for now, I really need to get this Quest out of the way as soon as possible. Trust me, though, once that’s done, more of these will happen. The more practical reason I avoid these is because — I’ve kind of become infamous among my friends for them.
One day last summer (almost exactly a year ago), I watched The Switch. It was after midnight, and I put it on as one of those throwaway movies before bed. One of those ones that don’t require you to think. New releases are perfect for that. And, instead of the movie getting me ready to sleep, as was the plan, it made me angry. Very angry. And, as I watched it I wrote a rant about the film that was — pretty memorable. It became the basis for my Unforgivables list. But because of that list, I’ve become hesitant whenever I wanted to write up my thoughts for a film (at least, anything more than a paragraph), just because, what if it turns into something like that Switch rant? I figure, just wait, and do it in January for the Unforgivables list. But, sometimes anger finds a way. (Dr. Malcolm taught me that.)
I don’t stop writing down my thoughts on films when they come to me (that would be a waste of material), so what I do is write them down to my friends in Facebook messages, so that way I can limit the audience to a handful of people who would enjoy it most, and then in a few months, throw it up on here, because then it’s just something funny I did once that more people should see. Here, though, my rant was a little on the long side. (10 pages in Word!). It would have taken 5 Facebook messages to post. And I have the habit of being a bit verbose (in case this intro wasn’t enough of a hint), so I try not to write things that are overly long, so as to not piss off the people in that thread who already feel overwhelmed by my constant
honey badgering. Which means this had to be posted here. Because I can’t sit on this for another four months. Not gonna happen. So, enjoy my complete bashing of review of Crazy, Stupid, Love., a crazy, stupid, movie.: (more…)
I figured this would be an optimal time to review all that’s come out since the year started. After all, we are a third of the way through it.
Remember when I said at the beginning of this blog that I see everything that comes out? I wasn’t lying. I do actually try to see everything that comes out. Though unlike last year, where I literally saw everything that came out, this year I’m more involved with my Oscar Quest. And I have other shit to do. This isn’t college, there isn’t as much free time to waste. Plus, why do I need to see everything? 95% is just as good, especially when, with the other 5%, I’m not interested in them, and I already know what I’d think about them if I did see them. For example, here’s a list of the films of 2011 (so far) that I’ve yet to see, and in all likelihood will not see:
The Rite (I think we all know what the score is here. I hate horror movies, and I don’t think anyone will ever ask, “Hey, did you see that?” And if they do, it’s because they’re trying to be a dick because I said I see “everything” and they’re trying to find something I haven’t seen. We know it’s a shitty horror movie, and that’s that), Sanctum (yeah, a 3D spelunking movie. I’m sure no one will even remember this movie even exists. In fact, did you even remember this movie came out until I mentioned it? I rest my case), The Eagle (sword and sandal movie. Too much sword. Therefore not interested. I wanted more sandal), Beastly (fucking really?), Mars Needs Moms (generic, forgettable kids movie. Don’t need to see it to know that), Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 (haven’t seen the first one, so, I’ll leave it to the kids), Insidious (horror movie. Do not care), Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (if I wanted to watch unfunny black people stereotypes, I’ll watch white people movies), and African Cats (just because, nature documentary. They’re all the same. These ones are more manipulative). Oh yeah, the Bieber movie too. But are we actually counting that as a movie?
See what I mean? Is there anything on there I really need to see? No. I’m not interested in them. They’re all forgettable, and even if they’re bad, I know they won’t be bad enough to make my Unforgivables list. So there’s no point in seeing them at all. Unless of course someone tells me I should, either because it’s “not that bad” or because “it might actually be worth putting on the Unforgivables.” I’m about 90% certain none of these films will qualify in either of those categories.