Archive for January 24, 2011

The 2010 Razzie Awards

Oh boy, oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy.

It’s one of my favorite days of the year.

No, not Monday. Actually, I like Monday. As a concept, not so much in execution. One day I will be gainfully employed.

It’s the day they announce Razzie nominations!

It don’t use exclamation points lightly, so that shows you just how much I want you to think I’m excited.

There’s nothing more exciting than seeing how close the organization dedicated to berating piece of shit films gets to your opinions on what the biggest piece of shit films of the year were.

Let’s get right into it. I’m too excited to sit here and bullshit with the likes of you. (more…)

My Oscar Nominations (As Well As What I Think Will Be Nominated)

The Academy Awards are upon us. Don’t put up a struggle, they like it when you try to fight back. Just remember to go to a doctor immediately after and always press charges. We’ll be handing out whistles next week.

Tomorrow, the nominations will be announced for the 83rd Academy Awards. What does this mean? Not a god damn thing. But, I figure, this is as good a time as any to put forth what I think should be nominated in all of the categories. Because you care what I think, don’t you?

Ha ha, this is one-sided, I can’t really hear what you have to say. I’m going to hear what I wanted to hear, which is the sound of a crying Asian child.

So, here’s my list of who I would nominate for every award (followed by who I think the Academy will nominate). I’ll keep it to films that are mostly Oscar-worthy. I won’t put Scott Pilgrim up for Best Picture even though I thought it was the best film of the year. I’ll keep it within the realm of possibility. I will also not be participating in category fraud here. I vote leads as lead and supporting as supporting. So a certain True Grit performance is going lead, even though the Academy will almost certainly nominate it for Supporting. Which, I’m okay with them doing it, because she has a better chance to win by going supporting, but still — I don’t participate in such activities. (more…)