The Box Office Report – December 30-January 1

Last week, in Box Office…

In what shocked the shit out of everyone, Tom Cruise stood up and said, “Fuck y’all, I’m still a badass motherfucker at the box office.”

Okay, so maybe he didn’t say that. He said, “I can go back to my well really well. And my movie made $46 million, so I can rhyme well with well. Do something.”

Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol (I hope you’re all appreciative of the fact that I get the punctuation right every time for your benefit when trying to repeat it.) made $29.5 million. And this is after it opened really strong last week. Everyone is amazed at how this happened. Some blame Scientology. I, honestly, blame no one, since this was actually a really entertaining film, and was everything a Mission: Impossible film should be. So let it make the money. It’s well on its way to recovering its budget back. It has currently pulled in about $95 million so far (off a budget of around $150 million. Not to mention pulling in almost $200 million worldwide so far).

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows finished second for the weekend, with $20.3 million. Still pretty strong for it. I’m not sure why they’re considering this such a failure. “Oh no, it only made $40 million instead of $60 million! We’re fucked a dinosaur’s story! It’s crossed $100 million domestically already. Disappointment, my ass!

Finishing third, in what they’re actually calling a disappointment, was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It made $12.8 million, and is currently sitting at $32.5 million (budget was $90 million). I saw this in theaters, and it was fucking great. How great, you’ll find out tomorrow, when I release my top ten list. I expect this to have legs, simply because so many people have read the book, and because the movie’s so fucking good (and this is coming from someone who loved the Swedish version).

Finishing fourth was Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, which made another $12.6 million (maybe that’s why Sony was upset about Dragon Tattoo. They almost got beat by CGI vermin). It’s currently at $70 million (which is almost its budget), which means, get ready for #4 in three years!

The Adventures of Tintin opened fifth to $9.7 million. This was expected, right? Ever so slightly soft, but still within expectations. This is an international franchise and not an American one. Americans will only go see the sequel once they see how enjoyable this one is. (And even then, I doubt it.) Case and point: $31.8 million domestically, currently. Worldwide? $239 million. That’s where all the money is, people.

We Bought a Zoo opened sixth to $9.4 million. Don’t think that’s a weak number. This movie has actually been doing crazy good business all week. $9.4 million Friday-Sunday, right? And that’s Christmas weekend. Right now, the film has made about $23.4 million Which means about $14 million Monday-Wednesday. You can’t judge Christmas films by how much they make that first weekend. They’ll still make money, just nontraditionally (which is sad that traditionally is actually the tradition).

War Horse opened on Sunday — get this — just Sunday (whereas everything else had Friday and Saturday, and some even Wednesday and Thursday) to $7.5 million. Wow. It made another $7 million on Monday, and is currently sitting at about $22 million, and that’s without a full weekend. That is incredible.

Nothing else was even close to $5 million. (Seriously. The Darkest Hour was hovering around $3 million. Nothing else came close.)

So, that brings us to this week, and the new releases…

Guess what? There aren’t any. Surprise, surprise. They’re gonna let all last week’s movies make all their money now. Which makes sense. (And dollars.)

The only film opening of note is The Iron Lady, the film most people are assuming will get Meryl another “Gimme” Oscar, even though reviews are saying she’s really the only good thing about the film. (Big fucking surprise there.) It’s only in 4 theaters, though, so do what the rest of us will do and watch it online.

Also opening is A Separation, which I only mention because I saw it on the list and am watching it as I write this article. It’s a really great Iranian film about a couple going through a divorce. Roger Ebert (smartly. Way to get it some press, man. This is how you use your influence for good) ranked it as his #1 film of the year. What makes it so good is how it’s so universal, despite being set in a completely different culture and in a completely different language. It’s Iran’s entry for Best Foreign Language Film, and knowing how I know the Oscars, it will not be nominated. That’s how good it is. It’s really worth checking out, and I’ll be pulling for it. Definitely one of the better films of the year.

Okay, so, holdovers…

Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol is expected to win the weekend again. Everyone’s saying the totals will go up now. Is that probable? I don’t follow the box office that closely to know if more people go post-Christmas, but if that’s the case, all right. I don’t really care so much. I’m in the middle of my year recap stuff, so for me this is really just bookkeeping. It’s expected to do around $30 million for the weekend. All right.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is expected to do low 20s, around $21-23 million. Again — all right.

Alvin and the Chipmunks is also expected around $20 million. (Most people have this going over War Horse, but honestly — with those totals, how can you think that? I don’t see how War Horse doesn’t come close to winning the weekend. But honestly, I’m not really paying that much attention, so I can’t make that educated a guess about it.)

War Horse is expected to be around $15-17 million. I can’t see how it doesn’t go higher, but whatever.

I expect The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to do plus business, and I think others are as well. They’re figuring around $15-16 million for it.

Tintin is expected to do around $12-13 million for the weekend.

We Bought a Zoo is expected to do around $12-13 million as well.

This is one of those weekends where I don’t see how people can really gauge based on the tracking. I think it’s one of those — wait and see what people do, and what people really want to see (outside of the top two films. Since those are action, and everyone goes to them anyway because that’s what they’re told they want to see) will rise out of the pack. Like last year with True Grit.

No one really cares about anything else, much like last week. No one figures anything but these films will make any money.

As you can see, I really don’t care about the numbers this week, since almost every film out (save Chipmunks, but even that’s past the point of no return. They’ve already made enough to greenlight a sequel anyway, so who cares at this point?) is a good film that deserves some money. So I hope they all do well.

Next week, I continue to hold onto the good of 2011 as the shit of 2012 (shit meaning terrible, and not as a replacement for “stuff”) starts to come out.

Oh boy…

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