2012: The Year in Reviews (Part VII: Films That Didn’t Get Released)

I went over all the films that did come out in 2012 (for the most part. Anything I missed in those articles isn’t something that will be missed), now let’s talk about all the films that didn’t come out in 2012.

I’m talking specifically of all the films that I previewed back in January, in my series of Film Release Calendar previews of 2012 films. When you preview as many films as I do, there are bound to be a bunch of ones that don’t end up coming out. Plus, just going through the year on its own, there’s stuff that gets pushed for whatever reason. The Great Gatsby, World War Z, Gangster Squad, 47 Ronin — stuff gets pushed. It happens.

So, I’m taking a moment to go over all the ones that didn’t come out. I’ll say when it was scheduled for 2012 (if it was at all), when it’s scheduled to come out in 2013 (if it is at all), what I said about it when I previewed it back in January, and some final thoughts on it before I move on.

Let’s finish up 2012, shall we?

– – – – –

The Big Wedding

When it was scheduled for:

October, 2012.

When it got bumped to:

April 26, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Interesting. This sounds like it could be good. Or, it’ll be bland and generic. But let’s hope for the best.”

“That’s solid enough to think it’ll be at least 3 stars. Let’s hope it’s good. I’d like to see De Niro in a good movie this side of 1995.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Releas Calendar for April.

The Biggest Movie of All Time 3D

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t really. But they had announced it. And I know, when they announce a piece of shit Friedberg and Seltzer movie, it happens.

When it got bumped to:

It never got filmed.

What I said about it back in January:

“Friedberg and Seltzer have written another movie.”

“I know you’re all dying to see this new abortion.”

“It’s making fun of 3D movies. And I guess it will be in 3D. Can’t you just see where this could go wrong?”

-5 stars.

“I honestly want to automatically make this Unforgivable, but here’s the thing — we know what we’re getting here. So it’ll only be Unforgivable if I can’t fill ten spots. Otherwise, it won’t be on and we’ll just give it a dishonorable mention.”

Final Thoughts:

We don’t have to deal with this existing, but they’re making The Starving Games instead, so the reprieve is brief.

Bullet to the Head

When it was scheduled for:

April, 2012

When it got bumped to:

February 1, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Okay, I’m interested. Interesting title, Walter Hill directing, and Sly Stallone starring.”

“Walter Hill’s made some good (or at least, fun) movies in his time. (I listed a bunch.) And Sly starring — this leads me to believe it’ll be infused with 80s action-ness. I like that.

“This seems interesting. Still — I’m hesitant to go 3.5 here. So I’ll go 3 stars and let the film win me over. Something about this has me hesitant. Still, I think this has the potential to go up rather than down.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on the 2013 Release Calendar for February.

Byzantium

When it was scheduled for:

2012, at some point.

When it got bumped to:

2013. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

“Directed by Neil Jordan (who directed Interview with the Vampire), and starring Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan. I’ll bite. (Note: I’m fucking hilarious.)”

“I have to say 3 stars, because I don’t know.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in the 2013 articles.

The Company You Keep

When it was scheduled for:

I thought it would get a 2012 awards release.

When it got bumped to:

April 5, 2013. Which is kind of what The Conspirator got.

What I said about it back in January:

Directed by Robert Redford, who always seems to direct good but not great movies. Starring Anna Kendrick and Shia Labeouf. Also starring Stanley Tucci, Chris Cooper, Brit Marling, Susan Sarandon, Sam Elliott, Nick Nolte, Julie Christie, Brendan Gleeson, Terrence Howard, Richard Jenkins, Stephen Root, and Redford himself.”

“I don’t see how this can’t be 4 stars. That cast — I have to say 4. Now I’m really interested in this.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my April release calendar or the Films Without Release Dates calendar. We’ll see.

Decoding Annie Parker

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t really. It was just shot, so I figured 2012.

When it got bumped to:

IMDB says March 2013. So…

What I said about it back in January:

“No idea what this is, but this synopsis is awesome.” (Note: “Love, science, sex, infidelity, disease and comedy, the wild, mostly true story of the irrepressible Annie Parker and the almost discovery of a cure for cancer.”)

“It sounds really interesting. Not sure why, but I’ll say 3.5 stars. Why not, people? Why. Not.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll recap it again for 2013. I’m sure it’ll come out.

Dorothy of Oz

When it was scheduled for:

It was in post-production last year, so in those cases, we assume 2012.

When it got bumped to:

Mostly just 2013. No specific date.

What I said about it back in January:

“It’s basically a redo of Return to Oz, just animated, right? Do I have that right?”

“Either way, 3 stars. I don’t know if it’ll be good, but I’m interested in anything that does Oz. (I’m also patiently awaiting that Wicked movie, since I never got a chance to see the musical.)”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll talk about it in the 2013 articles at some point. We’ll see what progress it makes toward a release date in the next two weeks.

Dracula 3D

When it was scheduled for:

It hit festivals in 2012.

When it got bumped to:

Don’t know, don’t care.

What I said about it back in January:

“I had to mention this. It’s Dario Argento doing Dracula in 3D.”

“I don’t even want to put a rating on this, because chances are I won’t ever see this. But — this exists. It’s happening.”

Final Thoughts:

I only mentioned it because I felt I needed to cover almost everything. I shouldn’t have. I knew it wouldn’t come out and I wouldn’t see it anyway. I won’t mention this again. I don’t care about it.

The East

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t, but it was finished for 2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013, I guess. It’s in Sundance for 2013. So I guess we’ll roll it over to next year’s Films Without Release Dates article.

What I said about it back in January:

“Chances are I will never see this, but I mention it simply because the premise sounds interesting enough to mention.”

“Uhh…3 stars?”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in the 2013 articles.

Effie

When it was scheduled for:

Presumably 2012.

When it got bumped to:

May, 2013 in the UK. Which probably means I’ll be able to see it before it even comes out in the U.S. If it’s good, maybe it’ll get an awards run by the end of the year. Otherwise, it may not come out in the U.S. until 2014.

What I said about it back in January:

“Emma Thompson wrote this. That interests me. Plus it’s about a Victorian art critic having a teenage bride. Not to mention that the teenage bride is being played by Dakota Fanning. And the film has a solid cast of Brit actors. So it’s worth a mention.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in the 2013 articles.

The End of Love

When it was scheduled for:

It was in Sundance 2012.

When it got bumped to:

Don’t know, don’t care.

What I said about it back in January:

3 stars. (I love that I just give a blanket 3 to all indie movies that I know will not get releases.)”

Final Thoughts:

I won’t mention this again. Shouldn’t have mentioned it in the first place. I knew I shouldn’t have, but did anyway.

The English Teacher

When it was scheduled for:

Presumably 2012.

When it got bumped to:

No idea. So let’s assume 2013.

What I said about it back in January:

“I’m interested to see what happens here.”

3 stars

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in the 2013 articles. The cast is too interesting to not.

Escape from Planet Earth

When it was scheduled for:

Not scheduled specifically, but 2012.

When it got bumped to:

February 14, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

3 stars? Maybe 2.5. 2.5 sounds more like it. Stil, though, this looks like a minor film like Planet 51. Has to be, right? (Weinsteins are distributing. They’re so well-known for their animation.)”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for February.

47 Ronin

When it was scheduled for:

December, 2012

When it got bumped to:

December, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Okay, so basically it’s an adaptation of the famous legend, just with Keanu Reeves being added into it. The Last Neo, I guess.”

“I’ll bite. I don’t hold this story sacred (though I know some people who do), so really, as long as this is more Last Samurai and less Ninja Assassin – I’m cool with it. More story, more Seven Samurai, less — action scenes and shit.”

“It also says the film is set “in a world of witches and giants.” …Yeah…about that hope of mine…”

3 stars. Why not? Let’s hope it doesn’t suck.”

Final Thoughts:

This has a long and troubled history. They pretty much fired the director for going over budget and not knowing how to shoot coverage, then they did heavy reshoots because they felt Keanu wasn’t involved enough as a hero, then they added an action scene or something with a giant troll or monster or other, then they removed the director from the editing room — it was a disaster, it sounds like. I’m really interested to see it now, but — I’ll discuss it in my 2013 Release Calendar for December.

Freaky Deaky

When it was scheduled for:

It was finished for 2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013. I think it got picked up for distribution. Fuck if I know what they’re gonna do with it.

What I said about it back in January:

“Holy shit, an Elmore Leonard adaptation. Haven’t seen one of these in a while. (Dude’s still alive, too! 86! Go Elmore!)”

“I’m pretty sure this book and “Tishomingo Blues” are the two that Hollywood’s been trying to make for the longest time. I remember with Tishomingo, Don Cheadle and Matthew McConaughey were attached for the longest time, and then it never happened.”

“Sounds interesting. It’s Elmore, so unless they really fuck it up, it’ll be at least 3 stars.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in the 2013 articles. Probably.

The Frozen Ground

When it was scheduled for:

I think the end of 2012. Like November.

When it got bumped to:

Sometime in 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Cage movie. These always get mentions. Seriously, a new Cage movie is like Christmas morning. It really is.”

“Based on actual events, an Alaska State Trooper partners with a young woman who escaped the clutches of serial killer Robert Hansen to bring the murderer to justice.”

“Cage plays the trooper. John Cusack plays Robert Hansen. Vanessa Hudgens is the young woman. Radha Mitchell is also in it. 50 Cent plays someone named Pimp Clate.”

“Seriously, how can this not be good?”

“We’ll say 3 stars, because it’s a thriller. But if done well, it could go 3.5. Let’s not presume, though. Still, Cage movies on the whole are nearly always worthwhile. He’s got a really good track record with me.”

Final Thoughts:

It’s a Cage movie. I’ll mention it again.

Gambit

When it was scheduled for:

Some point at the end of 2012

When it got bumped to:

Some point at the end of 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“It’s a remake of the 1966 film with Shirley MacLaine and Michael Caine. This one stars Cameron Diaz and Colin Firth. Not quite the strength of that original cast. Juust a bit outside.”

“What gives me hope here is that the Coen brothers wrote the script. And that Michael Hoffman, who directed One Fine Day (which I love), and Game 6 with Michael Keaton (which is one of the great hidden gems of the 2000s), and most recently The Last Station, is directing this. Plus Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci and Cloris Leachman are in it.”

“Let’s say that puts it at 3.5 stars Why not?”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in my Films Without Release Dates article for 2013, if not one of the months if they give it a date.

Gangster Squad

When it was scheduled for:

September 7, 2012

When it got bumped to:

January 11, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Ruben Fleischer earned a lot of respect from me for Zombieland. He lost a little bit for 30 Minutes or Less, but not too much. I still trust him if the material is solid. And a period piece about cops and gangsters — I think that’s pretty solid. Especially considering the cast he’s assembled.”

4 stars. I’m worried it’ll go down to 3.5, but fuck it. I feel like there haven’t been enough 4 star guesses this year, and this seems as prime a candidate as any. I hope this is great.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on the 2013 Release Calendar for January.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When it was scheduled for:

June, 2012

When it got bumped to:

March 29, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Is this retaliation for the fact that everyone thought the first one sucked? Like, ‘Oh, you thought that was bad…'”

“For the record, I loved the first film. Sure it was terrible. But it was fun. I had fun in the terribleness. What did you think a G.I. Joe movie was gonna be? Of course they needed to work on some stuff, and of course there were lots of things to complain about. But I enjoyed it.”

“This one, I feel, has already tried to address the problems of the first one. Very blatantly, too. They didn’t bring back 90% of the cast — Marlon Wayans is out, as is chick with the tits. All that are really back are Channing Tatum, and the two ninjas. And instead, they added Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis. That’s cool. I can fucks with this. I’m very excited for it. I hope it’s good.”

“I’ll say 3 stars and hope it’s higher. I doubt it’ll be 4. 3.5 seems most likely, but we’ll stick with 3. The first one was a 3 star movie that I enjoyed as 3.5 stars. This, I want to be a 3.5 star movie. Let’s hope it turns out that way.”

Final Thoughts:

They bumped this because they killed Channing Tatum in the first act, thinking he was the reason the first one failed. They were gonna focus on Johnson and Willis. Then he had three movies hit huge in the first six months of the year and they decided to recut and put him back into the movie. Which — I’ll discuss on the 2013 Release Calendar for March.

Gimme Shelter

When it was scheduled for:

2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013. Unspecified date.

What I said about it back in January:

“Why do I get the feeling that I’d rather just rewatch the 1970 Maysles brothers documentary instead of see this? (You know my pet peeve about song titles as film titles.)”

2.5 stars. We’ll see if it’s any good.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll probably mention it in the 2013 articles.

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

When it was scheduled for:

It was finished for 2012, but…

When it got bumped to:

February 8, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“You know that title’s getting changed. You know it’ll just be “Charles Swan.” You just know it. And if it isn’t — they’ll only release it in ten theaters.”

“The title isn’t the only thing that intrigues me. Roman Coppola (who co-wrote Darjeeling Limited, which I know is not exactly a positive thing to most people, including me) wrote and is directing it. And it stars Charlie Sheen as Charles Swan, and costars Bill Murray, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aubrey Plaza, Jason Schwartzman and Patricia Arquette.”

“Honestly, how can that cast produce anything less than a 3 star movie? (I’m saying 3.5 stars, though. I think it’ll be better than just 3.)”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in the February Release Calendar article.

Gods Behaving Badly

When it was scheduled for:

2012

When it got bumped to:

No idea.

What I said about it back in January:

“Greek gods living in modern-day New York intervene in the lives of a young couple.”

“This sounds awesome. Christopher Walken is Zeus.”

“Tell me no more. 3.5 stars. I’m there.”

Final Thoughts:

Oh, it’s Walken. I’ll be following this. It’ll be in the 2013 articles.

Gravity

When it was scheduled for:

November, 2012

When it got bumped to:

2013. Originally May, I think, but now there’s no date, so I bet they’re positioning this for an awards season push.

What I said about it back in January:

“I believe — and this is pure speculation based on what I might have heard. I really can’t remember — is that the film is about them tethered together, floating in space. Or that they’re both tethered, and then I think he cuts himself loose in space so she can get back to the station, and then she’s in the station, trying to both save him and get back. I made a lot of that up based on taking the story to conclusions based on what I believe I’ve head.”

“Basically — here’s the thing: the two of them are the only two in the film. That’s one. Two — it’s mostly her. I believe Clooney is really only there for a little bit. I know it was always referred to as a bit part. But I know the Clooney role is nowhere near as big as the Bullock role, and I know I heard the word “tethered” somewhere. So the logical conclusion is that he ends up floating away in space.”

“I’m very curious to see what happens here. I love Alfonso Cuaron’s work. Y Tu Mama Tambien was great. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is still probably the best of those films. Children of Men, to me, one of the best movies of the past decade. So that assures me this will be a quality film.”

“You know — I’m gonna say 5 stars. I was gonna hedge and go 4.5 (since we know it’ll be at least 4. Alfonso Cuaron has earned a guaranteed 4 for me as a base figure), but let’s have some fucking balls. 5 stars. Bam. And I hope this makes my top ten list for next year. Let’s put the chips down now, motherfucker!”

Final Thoughts:

Well, we’re gonna have to hope it makes my top ten for next year…

Great Expectations

When it was scheduled for:

2012. But it seems to have only come out internationally in 2012.

When it got bumped to:

No idea when it’ll get a U.S. release. Probably April, May or June. That’s usually when these come out.

What I said about it back in January:

“I said this for Jane Eyre last year — every year or two, a adaptation of a classic British novel comes out that stars either Emma Thompson or Judi Dench. I’ll need to amend that for this one. That’s not entirely true. (But it’s not exactly false, either.)”

“Anyway, this is a classy update of the novel, directed by Mike Newell. This one stars Helena Bonham Carter. Which, makes perfect sense. She’s perfect casting for Miss Havisham. And Ralph Fiennes is Magwitch, which is pretty awesome. Sally Hawkins is Mrs. Joe, which I’m really interested in seeing. Robbie Coltrane is Mr. Jaggers, Jason Flemyng is Joe, which is also pretty awesome, and Jeremy Irvine from War Horse is Pip. I’m actually really interested in seeing this.”

3.5 stars. I like seeing Dickens adapted for the screen.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll keep tracking it. I want to see this.

The Great Gatsby

When it was scheduled for:

December, 2012

When it got bumped to:

May 10, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

4 stars. I’m more curious than anything. I don’t even care if I’m wrong about the rating. I just want to see how he does it.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for May.

Halloween 3D

When it was scheduled for:

It was tentatively scheduled for October, but as you’ll see, I knew it wouldn’t stand. I just wanted to point out that I knew it wouldn’t.

When it got bumped to:

It hasn’t even been green lit yet. This might never come out.

What I said about it back in January:

“This is scheduled, but they haven’t shot it yet. I refuse to believe this comes out. There’s no way Hollywood allows a film (even on a reported $23 million) in a franchise like this to be shot and edited and released within 10 months. No way. This will be pushed to 2013. I’m so confident of this that I’m not providing a rating.”

Final Thoughts:

It might not ever come out, so let’s forget about it for now.

Hunter Killer

When it was scheduled for:

December, 2012.

When it got bumped to:

Dunno. Hasn’t shot yet. Doubtful it ever will at this point.

What I said about it back in January:

“This is a big film to have not started shooting yet.”

“Currently Sam Worthington and Gerard Butler are attached. This feels like, if no one drops out and they shoot it next year, it’ll come out mid-year 2013. It feels like one of those fun action films. I like submarines, and Antoine Fuqua is directing, so, 3.5 stars. But I don’t think it comes out for 2012. I’ll be watching out for it, though.”

Final Thoughts:

Don’t think this one’s happening.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

When it was scheduled for:

March, 2012.

When it got bumped to:

January 25, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“I really don’t know what to think about this movie. On one hand, this could be awesome in a campy way. On the other hand, this could suck.”

“This is going to require a delicate balancing act in order to work. You need campy, fun action, and you can’t go too action with it and you can’t get too stupid with it. You also need a lot of dark humor to really pull this off. The kind of shit like — shooting Marvin in the face. That’s what makes these kind of movies work.”

“My big worry here is with the action. And how seriously they take it. Films with action today tend to get serious with their action, and try to make it badass. If they can make the action here light and fun, I think it’ll work. Not holding my breath, though.”

3 stars. We’ll let the film decide how much higher or lower it goes. (Though, honestly, I can only see this dropping to 2 or 2.5. It’ll have to do a lot to get to 3.5.)”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on the 2013 Release Calendar for January.

Imogene

When it was scheduled for:

2012.

When it got bumped to:

July 19, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Yeah, dark comedy! Also being directed by the duo who made American Splendor. They also did The Nanny Diaries and The Extra Man, both of which were — meh — but this sounds interesting. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.”

3 stars. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but I’m not going to rate this high at all. Let it prove itself.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in my July Release Calendar article. Apparently the title was changed to Girl Most Likely.

Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t, but I loved the idea of the dueling Lovelace films.

When it got bumped to:

It hasn’t even shot yet. This shit ain’t happening.

What I said about it back in January:

“One of two Linda Lovelace movies. This is the one that was gonna star Lindsay Lohan, and then didn’t, and then Malin Akerman came on board. And also Sasha Grey (actual former porn star), Paz de la Huerta (basically a porn star), Matt Dillon (Wild Things?) and Adam Goldberg (Jew) are co-starring.”

“Okay. One of those is in trouble. This or the one down there. I’m guessing it’s this one, since at least that other one has a publicity still.”

“Uhh..3 stars? No idea.”

Final Thoughts:

Won’t mention it until it’s finished.

Jack the Giant Killer

When it was scheduled for:

June, 2012

When it got bumped to:

March 1, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“No idea what this is about, but I can take a general guess based on the title.”

“We can all agree how terrible this sounds, right? It’s not just me that thinks that?”

“This sounds really, really, really bad. To the point where — why would you spend over $150 million on this? Is anyone even remotely interested in the material?”

“Honestly, I’m going 2.5 stars here. I should go 2, but it’s big budget, and these are designed to appeal to people. So I’m sure it’ll be watchable, but I’m just not interested in this at all, and I can’t see what about it will make me like it. If I’m gonna watch something of this sort, it might as well be Pixar (more on that in a second).”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for March.

John Dies at the End

When it was scheduled for:

2012

When it got bumped to:

January 25, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Well, this sounds all sorts of fucked up. Not sure whether to go 3 stars or 3.5 stars here. I guess we’ll go 3 stars. Fucked up doesn’t always mean good.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in my 2013 Release Calendar for January.

The Longest Week

When it was scheduled for:

2012

When it got bumped to:

No idea.

What I said about it back in January:

“Could be interesting.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

I guess I’ll mention it for 2013.

Lovelace

When it was scheduled for:

It was filming last year, so I mentioned it. I figured it wouldn’t be out.

When it got bumped to:

It’s hitting Sundance, so some point in 2013, probably.

What I said about it back in January:

“I’ll believe this is coming out when they start shooting. This has been in production for years.”

“Amanda Seyfried is attached now. As are Peter Sarsgaard, Juno Temple, Sharon Stone and Wes Bentley.”

3 stars. I have no idea. I’m just curious to see what happens with the dueling films.”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it. I kind of have to.

Movie 43

When it was scheduled for:

April, 2012

When it got bumped to:

January 25, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“This is a movie comprised of short films. Kind of like Paris, Je T’Aime and New York, I Love You, except not really based around a central theme or location. At least, I think it’s not.”

“I can’t imagine, with a cast like that, this isn’t a 3.5 star movie. It gets a half star bump for being a film comprised of short films. Because when they work, that’s great, and when they don’t — at least they’re short. I expect this to be either a 3 or a 3.5, so I’m gonna say it’s a 3.5. Why not?”

Final Thoughts:

Got a reprieve. It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for January.

Odd Thomas

When it was scheduled for:

2012. Last half.

When it got bumped to:

Some point in 2013.

What I said about it back in January:

“There’s a lot to be interested in there….I think this will be pretty solid.”

3.5 stars. Not sure why.”

Final Thoughts:

Oh, this’ll be on there. I want to see this.

Only God Forgives

When it was scheduled for:

We figured it might get a 2012 awards release.

When it got bumped to:

2013. It’ll probably hit Cannes and get a 2013 awards release.

What I said about it back in January:

“This is the only one that isn’t shot yet, but I’m mentioning it anyway because of who’s involved. That’s Nicolas Winding Riefn and Ryan Gosling. Fresh off of Drive.”

“I’m down. 3.5 stars. Based off of nothing but that. Still probably gonna be 2013, though.”

Final Thoughts:

Oh this’ll definitely be on the calendar, don’t you worry.

Parker

When it was scheduled for:

October, 2012

When it got bumped to:

January 25, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Starring Jason Statham and directed by Taylor Hackford (Ray, An Officer and a Gentleman). Interesting.”

“Also starring Nick Nolte and Jennifer… Lopez? Really? Michael Chiklis and Clifton Collins Jr. are also in this. As is, Patti… LuPone? Okay…”

“I guess, 3 stars? This is just fascinating to me, this eclectic mix of people. I really want to see what this is.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for January.

Phantom

When it was scheduled for:

It was finished for 2012.

When it got bumped to:

March 1, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

I’m interested. Even more interested when I see that William Fichtner and Ed Harris are starring.”

“Curious to see how this turns out.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for March.

The Place Beyond the Pines

When it was scheduled for:

We thought it might get an awards release, end of 2012.

When it got bumped to:

March 29, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Directed by Derek Cianfrance, who did Blue Valentine and starring Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper. You know this shit’s getting a wide release. And if it doesn’t, that means it’s really good and doesn’t go mainstream.”

3.5 stars. I’m not totally sold, but I have to assume at least some quality. Let’s hope it’s good.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for March.

Rapturepalooza

When it was scheduled for:

2012.

When it got bumped to:

No idea.

What I said about it back in January:

“Could be good, or could be really bad.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

Probably won’t mention it again. I don’t care about this. But even if I do, we’ll just leave a blanket 3 star guess, so I can come back and quote this in case I do see it or whatever.

Rush

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t scheduled, but it was a big film that had a 2012 label on it. I knew it wasn’t gonna make it.

When it got bumped to:

September 20, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“I have a hard time believing this comes out in 2012. It hasn’t been shot yet, and is about Formula 1 racing. How will this get done in time for 2012?”

“Ron Howard is directing, which puts it of a certain quality.”

“Still, I doubt this’ll make 2012. If it does, 4 stars. It sounds interesting, and Howard knows what he’s doing.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in my 2013 Release Calendar for September.

7500

When it was scheduled for:

August, 2012

When it got bumped to:

2013, unspecified

What I said about it back in January:

“No poster or photos, so, why not post this?”

“Seriously, are January and late August the only times to release supernatural thrillers?”

2 stars.

Final Thoughts:

I’ll have it on the Films Without Release Dates article, but I’ll never see it.

Singularity

When it was scheduled for:

2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

“An epic, sweeping and riveting tale of an impossible love set across two time periods and continents.”

“That hit a lot of key words for me. Plus Roland Joffé (The Killing Fields, The Mission) is directing. The cast — Josh Hartnett and Neve Campebll — isn’t the strongest, but fuck it. I’m willing to wait and see what happens.”

3 stars. We’ll just see now, won’t we?”

Final Thoughts:

I’ll mention it in the 2013 articles.

Small Apartments

When it was scheduled for:

Finished for 2012

When it got bumped to:

February 21, 2013 (DVD. No theatrical.)

What I said about it back in January:

The reason I dog-eared this, so to speak, is its cast. Juno Temple, James Caan, Dolph Lundgren, Saffron Burrows, Peter Stormare, Billy Crystal, Matt Lucas, Johnny Knoxville, DJ Qualls, Rebel Wilson, Amanda Plummer, Rosie Perez, David Koechner — I am intrigued by this.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

Probably won’t mention it in the articles. May or may not see it.

So Undercover

When it was scheduled for:

Some point in 2012.

When it got bumped to:

February 5, 2013 (on DVD). Not even getting a theatrical release.

What I said about it back in January:

(It was in my “Films Without Release Dates” article.)

“Oh, you know why this is here… Starring Miley Cyrus.”

1 star. Bring it on. We can always use more Unforgivables. (Well, no we can’t. But still. When you just serve them up on a platter like this…)”

Final Thoughts:

May just ignore this. Then again… she may have an Unforgivable crown to defend. So maybe I will see this…

Standing Up

When it was scheduled for:

2012. Some point.

When it got bumped to:

2013. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

(Back when it was called “The Goats” and before it was called “Goat Island.”)

3.5 stars. Mostly because I go for shit like this (once you get past the creepiness of the synopsis).”

Final Thoughts:

Oh this’ll be in my 2013 articles. I’ll see this when it comes out.

Stoker

When it was scheduled for:

Some time in 2012

When it got bumped to:

March 1, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Directed by Chan-wook Park (Oldboy). That’s all I needed.”

3.5 stars Park’s films are usually intriguing.”

Struck by Lightning

When it was scheduled for:

Some time in 2012

When it got bumped to:

January 11, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“This feels like an indie film.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in my 2013 Release Calendar for January.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D

When it was scheduled for:

October, 2012

When it got bumped to:

January 4, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

2 stars. I don’t care about this. I never did. I probably won’t even see it.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on the 2013 Release Calendar for January.

Thanks for Sharing

When it was scheduled for:

It was finished for 2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

It’s the unexpectedness of the cast that got me to put this on there.”

“Also, the dude who wrote it and is directing it also co-wrote Keeping the Faith (one of my favorite movies of the 2000s), The Girl Next Door (which I like), and The Kids Are All Right, which everyone else likes. So I think this can be decent.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be in the 2013 articles.

To the Wonder

When it was scheduled for:

2012. It was finished, but you know Malick’s timetables for editing.

When it got bumped to:

April, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“This is the one he was shooting while we were all waiting for The Tree of Life to come out.”

“It’s never a sure thing that a Terrence Malick film will come out on time, but it seems this one will be ready to go by the end of the year.”

4 stars. Malick hasn’t made a bad film yet.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for April, assuming it still has that date. It’ll be somewhere in the 2013 Release Calendar articles for certain, since it’s almost definitely coming out in 2013.

Tyler Perry’s The Marriage Counselor

When it was scheduled for:

July 2012.

When it got bumped to:

February 28, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“This is surprising as hell. A Tyler Perry movie in July. This has never happened. Are we seeing the paradigm shift? Or is it just because Kim Kardashian is in this? I don’t really care, honestly. I only wanna know why they’re fucking up my rubric. (Seriously, why you fucking up my rubric?)”

“Oh yeah, I won’t see it, 2 stars. But for everyone else — this is the one that stars Kim Kardashian. Do with that whatever you like.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for either February or March. I don’t think that date’s staying. Apparently it’s now called Temptation.

Violet and Daisy

When it was scheduled for:

When it got bumped to:

What I said about it back in January: 

“It was finished for 2011 but not released yet. I heard not so great things about this from some early screening earlier this year. I’m still interested in seeing this though. It sounds interesting enough.”

3 stars.

Final Thoughts:

I guess it’ll be on my 2013 articles. It has to come out this year, right?

Voyage of Time

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t, really. And given Malick’s penchant to take years to edit his films, it was pretty assured it wouldn’t come out anytime soon.

When it got bumped to:

“A while.” He’s shooting two movies back to back now, and is two years into the edit of To the Wonder, so not for a while.

What I said about it back in January:

Terrence Malick again. Apparently he already shot it.”

“It sounds very Tree of Life. And Brad Pitt and Emma Thompson are apparently narrators. So it seems like it’ll be either a documentary or like Tree of Life, in that it’ll be CG shots of the universe with people talking over it. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be good.”

4 stars.

Final Thoughts:

Whenever he wants to put it out, I’ll see it.

Warm Bodies

When it was scheduled for:

August, 2012

When it got bumped to:

February 1, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“This sounds fascinating. It must be in August because they don’t know what the fuck to do with this.”

“It’s a romantic comedy, with a zombie! That’s awesome!”

“I really want to say 4 stars here, but I honestly don’t know what this could be. The late August date scares me. I’ll still say 3.5 stars, though. This concept is too good to not deliver.”

Final Thoughts:

It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for February.

What Maisie Knew

When it was scheduled for:

It was finished for 2012.

When it got bumped to:

2013, I guess. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

“I’ve heard of the novel this is based on. That’s why I put this on here.”

3 stars. I just want to see what becomes of it, really.”

Final Thoughts:

I guess I’ll put it on the 2013 articles.

World War Z

When it was scheduled for:

December, 2012

When it got bumped to:

June 21, 2013

What I said about it back in January:

“Well, this sounds like it can be awesome.”

“It’s based on the Max Brooks (Mel’s son) novel about how the fictional zombie apocalypse began. I heard that the books are very funny, but this seems like they’re turning it into an action movie. I’m not that worried, since they can always infuse it with humor. I’m just really curious to see how they do this and if they can pull it off.”

(Note: Apparently one book is humorous and the other is a straight thriller.)

“I’m trying to go in as cold as possible, so here, since I’m already sold, I’m going in without even a synopsis (past, what I’m assuming is — the zombie apocalypse is starting, and they’re running around, trying to stop it/get people to safety/stop the spread/whatever). All I know is that Marc Forster is directing and Brad Pitt is starring. And since Brad almost always chooses good or interesting projects, I’m in, and I don’t need to know any more.”

4.5 stars. I think I’ll really enjoy this. Could go 4, could go 5, but I’m going in the middle because why not?”

Final Thoughts:

Well, I get a reprieve on that ranking. It’ll be on my 2013 Release Calendar for June.

Wrong

When it was scheduled for:

It wasn’t, but 2012 was presumed.

When it got bumped to:

2013. No specified date.

What I said about it back in January:

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. 3.5 stars. The weirder, the better. Rubber was fucking amazing.”

Final Thoughts:

I can’t wait to see this. I hope it comes out in 2013.

– – – – –

– – – – –

Tomorrow we tally everything up, and then after that, it’s Unforgivables and a Top Ten list, and 2012 is finished.

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