2012 Razzie Awards Nominations

Oh hey, the Razzie Awards nominations were announced.

This is fun.

Let’s not waste any time and get right into the “worst” movies of the year:

Worst Picture

Battleship

The Oogieloves in Big Balloon Adventure

That’s My Boy

A Thousand Words

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

You’d think Battleship off the top of your head, but Twilight (sorry to spoil it) was nominated in EVERY SINGLE CATEGORY. Which means it’s getting the franchise nod. It’s gonna win. Also, happy to say — you have a franchise everybody but tween girls hates, the film with the WORST OPENING OF ALL TIME, an Eddie Murphy movie that’s just an easy target, and two Unforgivables. Personally, I think it was too easy to nominate Eddie Murphy here. But all right. They do what they do. I know he’s a usual nominee. The Meryl Streep of the Razzies.

Worst Director

Sean Anders, That’s My Boy

Peter Berg, Battleship

Bill Condon, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Tyler Perry, Good Deeds Madea’s Witness Protection

John Putch, Atlas Shrugged Part II

Nice to see Atlas Shrugged get on here. That’s funny. You’d think Condon wins on the sweep, but don’t count out Peter Berg winning.

Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance / Seeking Justice

Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Wods

Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy

If there’s any justice (that is, if it’s being sought), then (oh I’m fucking hilarious, don’t you worry about that), Adam Sandler wins this award. His performance is so atrocious, so amazingly bad, that it makes me remember that the Academy included him during those video tributes at the Oscars that year. I’ll leave it at that. He should win.

Worst Actress

Katherine Heigl, One for the Money

Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil: Retribution

Tyler Perry, Madea’s Witness Protection

Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Snow White and the Huntsman

Barbra Streisand, The Guilt Trip

Jovovich? Really? That’s weak.

Babs could take it. Stewart is by far your favorite, and if by some random chance Milla Jovovich (she seems like someone who wouldn’t give a shit about it) decides to pull a Sandra Bullock and show up, they’ll give it to her, even if it means recalibrating the votes to make her win. But still, Stewart has to have this one in the bag, with both of those performances.

Worst Supporting Actor

David Hasselhoff, Piranha 3DD

Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Liam Neeson, Battleship Wrath of the Titans

Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy

Vanilla Ice, That’s My Boy

One, Hasselhoff was fucking terrific in Piranha 3DD. Second — Neeson wasn’t even in Battleship. And Titans — come on. Swardson or Vanilla Ice should win this. Mostly Swardson. I cringe whenever I see him on screen in a movie.

Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel, Playing for Keeps Total Recall

Brooklyn Decker, Battleship What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Rihanna, Battleship

Decker was probably worse, but give it to Rihanna. You know you have to.

Worst Screen Ensemble

Battleship

The Oofieloves in Big Balloon Adventure

That’s My Boy

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Madea’s Witness Protection

Twilight wins. That’s it.

Worst Screenplay

Atlas Shrugged Part II

Battleship

That’s My Boy

A Thousand Words

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

It should be That’s My Boy. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Piranha 3DD

Red Dawn

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Madea’s Witness Protection

If it’s gonna win Worst Picture, why wouldn’t it win this too?

Worst Screen Couple

Any two cast members from Jersey Shore, The Three Stooges

Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Tyler Perry and his drag, Madea’s Witness Protection

Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester or Susan Sarandon, That’s My Boy

Give it to Stewart and Pattinson. It’s fitting.

– – – – –

Those are the Razzies. It’s one of those things nobody cares about, yet we humor them every year. Nothing different. Just an extra thing to throw out there.

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One response

  1. JamDenTel

    I haven’t seen the latest Twilight (I have standards), but I HAVE seen The Oogieloves (Okay, I don’t), and it’s far and away the worst of the year. It’s so apocalyptically shitty that I can’t see how ANYTHING else that got nominated could be worse.

    Also, why did Milla Jovovich get nominated when Thandie Newton, an ostensibly more distinguished actress, gave such a memorably terrible performance in Good Deeds?

    January 8, 2013 at 11:15 pm

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