Ranking Disney: Wreck-It Ralph (2012), Part II
Late summer/early fall last year, I did my first real series of screenshot articles on the blog, a series I called Ranking Disney. It consisted of me ranking all the Disney films based on how I liked them. Which was fun. It was pretty simple, overall. But it did pave the way for Ranking Bond and for something I’m going to introduce in about ten days. Plus it was fun. I got to watch Disney movies for two months.
Anyway, since then, Disney released another movie. And I felt it would be appropriate to cover that film was well, since this is technically under the Ranking Disney umbrella. So that’s what we’re gonna do over the next three days, cover Disney’s newest film, Wreck-It Ralph.
It was a pretty spectacular film. Even if you didn’t grow up with video games, it was still a spectacular film. It just had so much heart to it. This is what Pixar usually is. It’s hard to think they made this and Pixar made Brave, since they feel like they’d be switched, most years. This film also continues Disney’s terrific run they’ve been on since Lasseter and Co. took over the Disney animation department. I feel like this and Tangled are top 20 all-time Disney films, and The Princess and the Frog and Bolt are right below that (along with Winnie the Pooh).
We continue today, celebrating the wonderful movie that is Wreck-It Ralph:
We begin Part II in Sugar Rush.
Time to meet the ruler. King Candy.
An Ed Wynn impression if I’ve ever heard one.
The way this game works is, when the arcade is closed, they race to decide who the new day’s racers is.
Look at these names.
Everyone freaks out, because she’s a glitch.
I’ve had days like this.
And now they have to put shit back together before the race can happen.
Jesus. They’re fucking tasing him.
I think we get the reference.
(O-reo. Ore-o. It’s pretty funny, though.)
Ralph says he wants his medal back. King Candy asks if he’s going Turbo.
Which will be funny in about thirty minutes.
Ralph says he’s not leaving without his medal. King Candy says he is. The medal’s gone. It’s part of the code now.
And if he ever sees Ralph here again, he’ll lock him in his fungeon.
“Quick, call out the devil dogs!”
Nice Vader sound effect here.
This is like The Sandlot.
They came to fuck her shit up.
And they ain’t even out of bubblegum.
They’re just cunts.
They tell her she’ll never be a racer, because she’s a glitch.
Ralph doesn’t know why he helped her. She stole his medal. She says she was gonna give it back once she won the race. Plus, he can get another one from his game.
No he can’t. He won it from Hero’s Duty.
Ha ha. He said duty.
“It’s not that kind of duty.”
“I bet you gotta watch where you step in a game called Hero’s DUTY!”
“All right… all right. Fair enough.”
“One more, one more. Why did the hero flush the toilet?”
“Because it was his DUTY!”
(He calls her a guttersnipe, too. Which is just great.)
Anyone who has children knows exactly how this feels like.
“Hey genius, it’s a jakwbreaker, you’re never gonna –”
(I won’t finish it. That would be creepy. But you all know where I was going with that.)
She makes him a deal. He helps her get a new cart and she gets him his medal back by winning the race.
She’s so adorable. This was perfect casting.
This is kind of like Treasure Planet.
They go look for Ralph (and the Cybug).
Felix never thought Ralph would go Turbo.
She don’t know what that means. Naturally we’re gonna find out.
Turbotime was a huge game. Everyone loved it. Turbo loved it.
But then Roadblasters got plugged in.
Turbo was jealous.
He abandoned his game and tried to take over the new one.
He took out both games.
And that’s why he has to get Ralph back.
Ha ha. Nesquik-sand.
Love these shot choices.
Felix freaks out and Calhoun slaps the shit out of him.
The Laffy Taffy approve.
He tells her to hit him again. (He likes it.)
Well damn. I know exactly how their sexual relationship is gonna go from here on out.
“Come with me if you want to live.”
“Imma get some pussy!”
She want it.
(Also, picture Jack McBrayer and Jane Lynch having sex. You’re welcome.)
I bet he’s the type that would stay down there for hours.
There you go. Pull out the gat.
That’s one way to stop foreplay.
Well damn. That’s some back-of-the-bus shit right there.
Damn. He’d tear that shit up real good.
Now there’s a hot, sticky mess.
“I love it.”
She don’t know how to drive.
(Because she’s a woman!)
(That was my misogynist humor for the day.)
“Are you hurt, sire?”
“No, he just glazed me.”
Damn. Look at that paddy wagon.
Ralph doesn’t understand how she doesn’t know how to drive. She says she can feel that she’s a racer. In her code.
He goes off about how he wanted something better in his life.
She says that’s exactly what racing would do for her.
This is so awesome.
Diet Cola Hot Springs.
She lives here.
She sleeps in those candy wrappers and bundles herself up “like a little homeless lady.”
He wonders why she sticks around if everyone hates her.
She says glitches can’t leave their games.
“It’s one of the joys of being me.”
If she’s gonna be a racer, she has to learn how to drive.
“You can’t do that without a track.”
The use of the Rihanna song is stupid. This is your chance to have an original song. What happened to you, Disney? How do you go from “When You Wish Upon a Star” to “Shut Up and Drive”?
Weird how this is all happening in less than a day, right?
“So how’d I do?”
“Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain…”
“Right, right. It’s a good note.”
He says she’s gotta get that glitch under control.
“And then you think I got a chance?”
“Yes! I’m gonna win I’m gonna win I’m gonna win!”
These shots are just fantastic.
Best security system ever.
Welcome to Cerebro.
He takes away Vanellope’s medal and gives it to himself.
Come on, girl. It ain’t gonna lick itself.
He also calls her a “dynamite gal.” Which leads to –
And she kicks him out.
He goes to find Ralph at the castle, and gets captured.
Vanellope is excited. But nervous. What if the gamers don’t like her?
“Those people are gonna love you. You know why? Because you’re a winner. And you’re adorable. And everyone loves an adorable winner.”
Time to go.
Oh, but she forgot something.
And right on cue, here’s King Candy.
Ralph calls him “Pillowpants.” Which – do they know what that is?
“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?”
“You hit a guy with glasses… well played.”
Candy offers him the medal if he can prevent Vanellope from racing. He says that if Vanellope wins, then players can choose her as their avatar, and when they see her glitching on the racetrack, the game will get shut down and they’ll all get evicted.
All except Vanellope – who can’t leave the game.
“She can’t race, Ralph.”
Wow, that took a convenient amount of time.
“Kneel before me.”
“Now close your eyes.”
“I SAID CLOSE THEM!”
This is heartbreaking.
“I’ve been thinking…”
“Who cares about this stupid race, anyway?”
He says she can’t be a racer.
“You sold me out?”
Ralph says he’s trying to save her life.
It’s a nice moment, since he’s only actually doing it to try to help her, since he doesn’t know any better.
This shot speaks volumes.
“You really are a bad guy.”
Ralph returns home.
Ha ha. He’s drinking.
He says everyone abandoned the game after he and Felix left.
I love how he moves. It’s so video game.
Ralph was tired of living alone in the garbage. Now he’s living alone in a penthouse.
Honestly, I’d take that.
“Some-where, out there…”
“Be-neath the PALE moonlight…”
Fuck you, medal.
I love the sound it makes when it hits the glass.
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Tomorrow we finish with Part III.
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