2013 Razzie Nominations

On the eve of the 2013 Oscar nominations come the 2013 Razzie nominations.

Only fitting. That whole ‘darkest before the dawn’ thing.

Anyway, I don’t care about these at all, but they are amusing, so here we go:

Worst Picture

After Earth

Grown Ups 2

The Lone Ranger

A Madea Christmas

Movie 43

Interesting choices. I think we all know what should win this, but who the hell knows which way they’re gonna go.

Worst Director

The 13 People Who Directed, Movie 43

Dennis Dugan, Grown Ups 2

Tyler Perry, A Madea Christmas, Temptation

M. Night Shyamalan, After Earth

Gore Verbinski, The Lone Ranger

“The 13 People who Directed.” Brilliant.

Also, I vote Shyamalan.

Worst Actor

Johnny Depp, The Lone Ranger

Ashton Kutcher, Jobs

Adam Sandler, Grown Ups 2

Jaden Smith, After Earth

Sylvester Stallone, Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan, Grudge Match

Man, this group hates Sly. It’s always hated Sly.

Also, yes to Jaden Smith. A thousand times yes. He should win.

Worst Actress

Halle Berry, Movie 43, The Call

Selena Gomez, Getaway

Lindsay Lohan, The Canyons

Tyler Perry, A Madea Christmas

Naomi Watts, Diana, Movie 43

Ha ha. Tyler Perry.

Also, you know they only put Halle Berry here because she actually came to accept one once. They think she’ll do it again.

Also, the Naomi Watts thing is a bit mean. But they always do that.

Selena Gomez. I understand that.

Lohan should win this, if not Tyler Perry.

Worst Supporting Actor

Chris Brown, Battle of the Year

Larry the Cable Guy, A Madea Christmas

Taylor Lautner, Grown Ups 2

Will Smith, After Earth

Nick Swardson, A Haunted House, Grown Ups 2

Chris Brown better win this. I want to see him get angry and take his shirt off and throw a chair out a window again.

Also, I approve of Swardson being on this list every year.

Worst Supporting Actress

Lady Gaga, Machete Kills

Salma Hayek, Grown Ups 2

Katherine Heigl, The Big Wedding

Kim Kardashian, Tyler Perry’s Temptation

Lindsay Lohan, InAPPropriate Comedy, Scary Movie 5

Oh, how can they not give this to Kim Kardashian?

I get the Gaga nomination, but they won’t vote for her. It’s gotta be Kim.

Also — YES to Heigl. Holy shit yes.

Also, wanna see the pinnacle of Salma Hayek’s acting career? Watch her run away from a moose at the beginning of Grown Ups 2.

Worst Screenplay

After Earth

Grown Ups 2

The Lone Ranger

A Madea Christmas

Movie 43

My favorite is that after Movie 43, it says “Written by 19 ‘screenwriters’.”

I love when they do that stuff.

I assume Movie 43 wins this. But honestly Grown Ups 2 should.

Worst Screen Combo

The Entire Cast of Groan-Ups, Too

The Entire Cast of Movie 43

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, Scary Movie 5

Tyler Perry & EITHER Larry the Cable Guy OR That Worn-Out Wig and Dress, A Madea Christmas

Jaden Smith & Will Smith on Planet Nepotism, After Earth

They’re the best.

I vote Planet Nepotism.

Followed by the worn out wig and dress.

Worst Remake, Ripoff or Sequel

Grown Ups 2

The Hangover Part III

The Lone Ranger

Scary Movie 5

The Smurfs 2


– – – – – – – – – –

Those are your Razzie nominations.

Moving onto the important stuff once again.


One response

  1. Ha! I hope Movie 43 wins at least one.

    January 15, 2014 at 2:50 pm

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