2013 Oscars Update: 20th Screen Actors Guild Awards Results

Last night, they gave out the SAG awards.

There’s a great dichotomy with the SAG awards — they mean so much in terms of who’s going to win the Oscar (probably. I should say probably), yet — it’s one of the worst awards shows to watch. It almost feels like a chore. They just go through the motions, get the show in under two hours every year, and there’s no fun to be had. Ever. I know I’m in the minority, but I prefer three hour awards shows. Because if you’re gonna celebrate yourself, do it right. Don’t rush it. What’s the point of bringing everyone there and then catering to a TV audience?

But, you know, the winners matter, so we watch it. (Oh, and did I mention — same format every year. It’s pretty boring that they never change it up, either.)

Anyway, here are the results of the SAG awards:

We’re gonna do them in order, because why the hell not?

Best Supporting Actress

Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle

Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

Julia Roberts, August: Osage County

June Squibb, Nebraska

Oprah Winfrey, The Butler

Winner: Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

Good for her.

I’m not 100% sold on her winning the Oscar, because I’m worried the Academy might double down on Jennifer Lawrence, but I’m willing to take the shot. I’d rather see her win than Lawrence. I think. I’ll watch them all again before Oscar night.

Best Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips

Daniel Brühl, Rush

Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave

James Gandolfini, Enough Said

Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Winner: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

I thought they might go Gandolfini, but this says a lot to me. I think he has the Oscar in the bag.

Which — during his speech, he said something interesting. He made me realize — now it’s SAG-AFTRA. So there are more people in this branch. Which means they might not be as accurate at guessing the Oscars. Possibly. Just throwing it out there. It’s looking like they’re gonna be accurate. Plus Leto is saying all the right things, so I assume him and McConaughey have it in the bag.

Anyway, look at them, 15 minutes into the show and already they knocked out the supporting categories.

Best Actress in a Comedy Series

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

That’s not surprising.

Nice speech. I like people with senses of humor about these things.

Best Actor in a Comedy Series

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Jason Bateman, Arrested Development

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Winner: Ty Burrell, Modern Family

They like spreading the wealth here. I feel like they go every which way with this category.

ALSO JOHN GOODMAN IS HERE!

Best Ensemble in a Comedy Series

Arrested Development

The Big Bang Theory

Modern Family

30 Rock

Veep

Winner: Modern Family

No shock. They always win. Good for them. Great cast.

P.S. Ken Howard, the president of SAG — he was Jefferson in 1776. Just in case you didn’t know that.

Best Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries

Angela Bassett, Betty & Coretta

Helena Bonham Carter, Burton & Taylor

Holly Hunter, Top of the Lake

Helen Mirren, Phil Spector

Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake

Winner: Helen Mirren, Phil Spector

Wow, Helena Bonham Carter looked and sounded nothing like Liz Taylor.

But — I kind of suspected that. They love her, and I’m sure there was a vote split between Holly Hunter and Elisabeth Moss. Plus no one probably saw that show.

Even Mirren gave Moss a shout out.

Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries

Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra

Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra

Jeremy Irons, The Hollow Crown

Rob Lowe, Killing Kennedy

Al Pacino, Phil Spector

Winner: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra

Obviously. Dude was fucking incredible.

Also, please have Emma Thompson present at every awards show.

And Rita Moreno looks fantastic. Go her.

Best Actor in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, Homeland

Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Kerry Washington, Scandal

Winner: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Really thought they were gonna go Breaking Bad there.

Of course Maggie Smith wasn’t there.

Maggie Smith don’t move for anybody.

Best Actor in a Drama Series

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Winner: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

There was no way. There was just no way they weren’t going here.

Best Ensemble in a Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire

Breaking Bad

Downton Abbey

Game of Thrones

Homeland

Winner: Breaking Bad

Come on, now.

Wait, do they not do supporting roles in TV shows? I keep forgetting that.

Best Actor

Bruce Dern, Nebraska

Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave

Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips

Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Forest Whitaker, The Butler

Winner: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Oh yeah, he’s got that shit on lock.

I saw this shit coming from last year. Momentum is a hell of a thing. Dude’s on fire.

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

Sandra Bullock, Gravity

Judi Dench, Philomena

Meryl Streep, August: Osage County

Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks

Winner: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

Well that shit’s in the bag now.

Also, great speech. Great speech.

Best Acting Ensemble

American Hustle

The Butler

Dallas Buyers Club

12 Years a Slave

Winner: American Hustle

They nominated them in every acting category. Of course it won.

– – – – – – – – – –

So basically, what we got out of this — your four acting Oscars will most likely go to McCoanughey, Blanchett, Leto and Nyong’o. And American Hustle is still probably your likely Best Picture winner.

Which I think we all figured. Still not sure about Supporting Actress and maybe Supporting Actor, given the differences in the category (for Supporting Actor), and what the narrowed voting body means for it, but I feel like it’s gonna go this way. That makes sense to me, and I think we’d all be cool with it.

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