The 2015 Film Release Calendar: July

Every January, I preview all the films that are scheduled to come out for that year. Typically, I end up around 80%, since there are always a few that I don’t track, for whatever reason. The point of why I do this has been lost, and now I do it because that’s just what I do. It’s fun, and I enjoy it.

Mainly the idea is to see how accurately I can guess my reaction to movies up to a year in advance. And it gives me a gauge to see which films ended up surprising me for better and for worse.

Originally, I just went through the release calendar and listed about 30 other movies that didn’t have dates. Last year, I had about 200 without dates that I tracked. Now, we’re looking at around 250, on top of the articles currently set for specific months.

How I do this is, I start by going over the films currently scheduled for January through June, then take a ten day break in between to go over the Oscar nominations and Golden Globes, and then finish with July through December. After that, I go over the films currently without release dates, and finish with the holdovers from last year that I’m continuing to track. We have it down to a science here.

July

Terminator: Genisys

After finding himself in a new time-line, Kyle Reese teams up with John Connor’s mother Sarah and an aging terminator to try and stop the one thing that the future fears, “Judgement Day”.

Couple of things. That “aging” Terminator thing is pretty convenient. Wonder how they’re gonna explain that. How something with artificial skin can age. I’m willing to go along with it, I just want to see how they’re gonna do it. Because it’s Arnold. We’ll forgive anything if it’s Arnold.

Another thing — that trailer…. not good. That trailer really makes me not excited to see the finished product.

It’s the director of Thor 2, and Kyle Reese is played by Jai Courtney, who they’re trying to turn into an action star, but just doesn’t feel like one.

I’m just not excited about it.

3 stars, just because I think Arnold can sustain it, but I’m really not expecting much at all.

Magic Mike XXL

We know what this is.

The two things to note about this one: Matthew McConaughey will not be in the movie. And, it’s apparently a road trip movie.

Amber Heard is in this one. As it Matt Bomer, Elizabeth Banks, Jada Pinkett, Donald Glover, Andie MacDowell, and Michael Strahan.

Okay.

Not feeling this one as much. The first one caught us all by surprise as actually being a good movie. A lot of that is Soderbergh. This one has no Soderbergh (even though it’s directed by the guy who was first AD on a lot of his stuff. Which… Trouble with the Curve was directed by the guy who was Eastwood’s first AD, so that means nothing). And it’s a sequel.

3 stars. You can’t think it’s gonna be as good as the first one. You just can’t.

The Gallows

This is some kind of horror movie. I have no synopsis or information about it. And there’s really no straight up guarantee it’ll come out. Though they gave it the Purge weekend. So it might.

Never heard of the cast, which makes me think I’m either not gonna see this or won’t give a shit.

2.5 stars.

I have no information on this at all.

Minions

Minions Stuart, Kevin and Bob are recruited by Scarlet Overkill, a super-villain who, alongside her inventor husband Herb, hatches a plot to take over the world.

I’m openly not a huge fan of the Despicable Me movies. The first one was cute, the second one was not that good. So now they’re taking the part of the movies that everyone loves but me and making it its own movie. And I just don’t care.

Sandra Bullock is playing the villain. Jon Hamm seems to be playing her husband.

2.5 stars.

I really just could not care less about this movie.

Ant-Man

Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, con-man Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his mentor, Dr. Hank Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.

Well… I’m very conflicted. Because I really wanted to see what Edgar Wright was going to do with this. But I also don’t know how much of what he introduced is left.

Paul Rudd is Scott Lang and Michael Douglas is Hank Pum. Also in it are Hayley Atwell, Evangeline Lilly, Judy Greer, Corey Stoll, John Slattery, Michael Pena, Bobby Cannavale, Martin Donovan, and T.I.

Really nervous about this one, and it’s Marvel, and without Wright, I feel like it’ll turn more into a Marvel sort of thing.

I want to say 3.5 stars, but I just can’t. I can’t trust a Mavel movie to be good.

3 stars.

Trainwreck

Amy Schumer wrote and is starring in this, and Judd Apatow is directing.

Also in this are Daniel Radcliffe, Brie Larson, Randall Park, Tilda Swinton, Marisa Tomei, Ezra Miller, Bill Hader, John Cena, Bar Paly, Mike Birbiglia, LeBron James, Colin Quinn, and Method Man.

Schumer wrote and stars, which makes me positive, but it’s Apatow, which makes me negative. He’s made four movies, and I’ve liked exactly one of them. And only a little bit. So I’m not feeling great about this one’s chances.

3 stars.

Hopefully I don’t hate it.

Pan

It’s a Peter Pan origin story.

Directed by Joe Wright.

Trailer was pretty good. I trust Joe Wright.

Hugh Jackman is Blackbeard, Garrett Hedlund is Hook, Rooney Mara is Tiger Lily, Amanda Seyfried is in this (no idea who she’s playing. A mermaid, maybe?), Cara Delevingne is almost certainly playing a mermaid. It looks like fun.

I’ll go 3.5 stars. I hope Joe Wright can turn it into something great.

Pixels

Video game experts are recruited by the military to fight 1980s-era video game characters who’ve attacked New York.

It’s based on a short. This short.

So that adorable short with great animation was turned into a $100 million movie with a shitload of CGI.

Oh, right, and it’s starring Adam Sandler.

Yeah, I’m sure we’re all expecting greatness out of this.

Chris Columbus is directing. Which isn’t the worst thing in the world. He’s got both Home Alones (only the first two count), Mrs. Doubtfire and the first two Harry Potter movies on his resume. Recently, sure, he’s done Percy Jackson, but his movies are always fine, and infused with heart. So maybe that cancels out Adam Sandler, who has clearly stopped trying.

The rest o the cast is Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Ashley Benson, Sean Bean, Kevin James (of course Kevin James), Jane Krakowski, and Brian Cox.

You know… despite all of my best instincts, I’m gonna go 3 stars. Because I feel like the scale, and the fact that it could be like a fun version of WarGames… it could be passable.

Let’s see if I’m wrong.

Poltergeist

It’s a Poltergeist remake.

I’m gonna be very open about this… haven’t seen the original. So I don’t know how to gauge this at all.

I’m gonna have to see the original first, just to be able to gauge this next to that. It seems unfair to see this before the original.

Anyway, it was written by a Pulitzer Prize winner. The guy who wrote Rabbit Hole.

Who, since then, has written Rise of the Guardians, Oz the Great and Powerful and Shrek the Musical. So… yeah.

Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Nicholas Braun, Jane Adams… not a bad cast.

The director did Monster House and City of Ember. And Rockwell said this one is more of a kids movie. So I’m not opposed to this. I do need to see the original, though.

Okay, 3 stars. I can’t go anywhere else without having seen the original. But I’m definitely expecting decent things. Not like a remake that’s coming up soon.

Grimsby

A new assignment forces a top spy to team up with his football hooligan brother.

It’s a Sacha Baron Cohen movie. Louis Letterier is directing. I’m not sure if Cohen is playing both leads or not.

Ian McShane, Mark Strong, Penelope Cruz, Rebel Wilson, Isla Fisher, and Gabourey Sidibe are also in the movie.

I… guess I can go 3 stars here. Sacha Baron Cohen… hit or miss for me. I hated Borat until I saw it drunk in a theater with other people. And Bruno was just not good. And The Dictator wasn’t great but had moments of humor in it that got me through. So I’m not too thrilled about this, but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Point Break

Why couldn’t they remake *batteries not included instead?

Not that I have any emotional attachment to the original Point Break. I couldn’t care less about that movie, one way or the other. That’s one of those movies I feel all the wrong people think is a masterpiece. Which is what’s making me nervous about this movie. Because so many people are gonna bitch and moan about it, and it’s gonna make it intolerable for me to deal with this.

The guy who directed this made Invincible. And he was the DP on Payback, The Fast and the Furious, and Daredevil.

One thing to note — they’re not surfers here. They’re extreme sports enthusiasts.

And the Keanu Reeves part is being played by a guy you’ve never heard of before. He was Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe 2 (taking over for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who, in an ideal world, would probably have made a better Johnny Utah if they were actually trying to make a good version of this remake), was in The November Man with Pierce Brosnan, and was in a shitty Nicholas Sparks movie.

The Gary Busey part is being played by Edgar Ramirez. And Ray Winstone and Delroy Lindo are also in this. As is Teresa Palmer.

The fact that no one else of note was on this means everyone knew to stay away from it.

I’m not expecting anything about this, and I think the end of July date means they think it’ll make money because people remember the title and it’s a familiar brand, but otherwise don’t think it’ll be very good.

2.5 stars.

Really expecting to not like this. And I feel like, if I actually did think Point Break was a great movie (and to be honest, I barely remember it. We’ll see if I watch it again as a refresher before this or not), this might have a chance at being Unforgivable. But I don’t know.

Really not expecting anything good out of this.

Selfless

An extremely wealthy elderly man, dying from cancer, undergoes a radical medical procedure that transfers his consciousness to the body of a healthy young man, but all is not as it seems when he starts to uncover the mystery of the body’s origin and the secret organization that will kill to protect its cause.

It’s Tarsem Singh’s next movie.

His first movie was The Cell. Then he spent 6 years and made The Fall, which is just an incredibly beautiful movie. It sat on the shelf for a few years before it came out, so when everyone saw it, they all said, “It’s basically the same as Pan’s Labyrinth, only it looks better.” But it’s gorgeous. In its own way, it’s a perfect movie. Especially since it’s all real locations.

His next two movies… Immortals and Mirror Mirror… not that great. So it’s hard to gauge what this one is going to be.

I like that he’s mixing his genres. But it’s real hard to get an idea of what you’re going to get from it.

Ryan Reynolds is the star. Matthew Goode is also in it, as are Michelle Dockery, Ben Kingsley and Victor Garber.

I’m not really sure where to go here. July 31st is actually a confident date for a movie like this. Ryan Reynolds has had a pretty disastrous run as a movie star. X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Proposal (which isn’t terrible, but also isn’t exactly great), Green Lantern, The Change-Up, Safe House, R.I.P.D…. not a great run. So it’s confident that they put it here, despite Tarsem’s last few movies being flops and Reynolds not exactly a box office draw.

But do I want to go 3.5? I don’t think I do. I think I want to see this movie get there on its own. So 3 stars. The fact that it turns into a thriller makes me nervous. I don’t want to assume above average here. I want the film to earn it.

– – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow is August.

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