2015: The Year in Reviews (April)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping April:

Oh, yeah, also, so my ratings system makes sense, here’s how it works:

* * * * * (5 stars) — I really loved the film. Five stars essentially guarantees the film a spot in the top ten. I’ve never had a five star film not make the top ten. (2014 examples of 5 star movies: There actually were none.)

* * * * ½ (4.5 stars) — I loved the film, but not unconditionally. Four and a half stars is usually the ranking for films in the top ten and top twenty. Rarely does a four and a half star film fall below top 15. (2014 examples of 4.5 star films: Birdman, Fury, Interstellar, Whiplash.)

* * * * (4 stars) — I liked the film quite a bit, but it’s not one of those that I would automatically say is a top ten film. It could end up being one, but typically a four star film is one of those that I’ve solidly liked, and will openly say is a really good movie. Three and a half, I’ll say that I really enjoyed it. But four stars is where I’ll say that it’s really good. Four star movies are either in my 11-20 or tier two. It’s also not unheard of that a 4 star movie makes the top ten. (2014 examples of 4 star films: Boyhood, Cher, Godzilla, The Guest, Snowpiercer, Top Five.)

* * * ½ (3.5 stars) — The film stood out to me as being particularly solid. I always differentiate three and a half from three by saying that three stars is for a film that I just enjoyed enough to give it the thumbs up. Three and a half is when I go, “That was actually really solid and I enjoyed it quite a bit.” It’s not alway a mark of “this was better than I expected” or, “It’s better than you think.” Sometimes it’s just, “That was really solid,” or, “That was awesome,” even though the film itself wasn’t particularly a masterpiece. It’s a very verstaile ranking. Usually it’s for something I enjoyed, but didn’t love enough to put it near the very top of my year-end list. Three and a half star films never make it above tier two, and most of them are tier three. You’ll see only a few populating tier two, but mostly they’re tier three. (2014 examples of 3.5 star films: American Sniper, The Babadook, The Double, Edge of Tomorrow, Frank, Still Alice.)

* * * (3 stars) — Three stars is for films that were pretty good. Usually for a three star movie, I’ll say, “I enjoyed it well enough.” Or, probably the most common phrase I use is, “You can get through it.” But without qualification. For a two and a half star film, I’ll say, “You can get through it, but…” Three stars don’t have the qualification. Mostly three stars is for a film I enjoyed enough to say it wasn’t bad. I found it watchable enough that I wasn’t completely indifferent toward it. If I give a film that seems like it should have a higher rating three stars, then it means I didn’t enjoy it as much as everyone else. And if there’s something you’d think was a piece of shit at three stars, it means I thought it wasn’t actually that bad. But most of the time, three stars just means, “Yeah, it was okay. I enjoyed it well enough.” They’re just entertaining enough for me to not be indifferent. (2014 examples of 3 star films: Beyond the Lights, Exodus: Gods and Kings, The Lego Movie, Need for Speed, 22 Jump Street, White Bird in a Blizzard.)

* * ½ (2.5 stars) — Two and a half stars is my ultimate indifference ranking. I didn’t necessarily think it was a bad film, I just didn’t give a shit about it whatsoever. I thought it was utterly generic. Nothing to make me like it, and it wasn’t bad enough to make me dislike it. It wasn’t memorable to me in any way. Odds are, if a “classy” movie is here, it means it was particularly disappointing, and if something that seemed like an Unforgivable is here, it means it actually wasn’t the piece of shit we were all thinking and was actually just about passable. It’s also my way of saying, “You might have liked this, but I certainly didn’t.” And also my way of saying, “This wasn’t very good, but at least it was competently made.” But for the most part, two and a half stars means I just didn’t care whatsoever and will not remember much about the movie in two years. They may also be Unforgivable, depending on my reasons. (2014 examples of 2.5 star films: Hercules, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Ride Along, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Veronica Mars.)

* * (2 stars) — Two starts means that the film was mostly competent and all, but I just didn’t like it. Either it wasn’t for me, it was a genre that I don’t like (horror movie), I just found it boring, or it was one of those generic shitty genre movies that populate the early months. Or it was just a giant piece of shit that at least looked like a good movie. So two stars is for — “They tried… it just wasn’t very good.” Depending on how bad they are, they do have a shot at the Unforgivables list. (2014 examples of 2 star films: Dracula Untold, Dumb and Dumber To, I Frankenstein, Wish I Was Here.)

* ½ (1.5 stars) — One and a half usually means the film was terrible, but it’s not a surefire Unforgivable. Probably because it’s a shitty thriller, a shitty horror movie, or a horrible sequel in a franchise that has churned out nothing but horrible sequels. Or it’s for films that could have gone two stars, but I just have a particular dislike for them. These have a pretty good shot at the Unforgivables list, and should for sure make my bottom 25 list. (2014 examples of 1.5 star films: Blended, Sex Tape, Tammy.)

* (1 star) — I really didn’t like the movie. It was so bad it was almost unwatchable. Typically a one star film is certain to be Unforgivable. Sometimes one star movies get saved by virtue of being a certain kind of sequel (like Big Mommas House: Like Father, Like Son) or being something that’s too easy to make Unforgivable (like Marmaduke, or a Friedberg and Seltzer movie. Movies we knew were gonna be pieces of shit going in), but in any case — they’re really awful movies that shouldn’t exist. (2014 examples of 1 star films: Addicted.)

0 stars — It means I hated the film. Guaranteed Unforgivable. It’s a film that should never have been made, and has actually lowered the bar for cinema as an art form and has actually detracted from a culture that’s in the toilet to begin with. A film with no redeeming qualities whatsoever and one that physically made me angry while watching it. (2014 examples of 0 star films: Heaven Is For Real.)

April

Furious 7

What I said about it back in January:

“At this point, I know what I’m getting with these franchises.”

“I feel like I wanna go 3 stars and let it be 3.5. I get worried it’s gonna go too far into the…well, let’s call it Night at the Museum territory. Sentimental is not the way to go with this, and I’m gonna be worried about it until they manage to not do that.”

“Plus, without Walker… it’s just not the same. I know Diesel was always the one, but at this point, it’s gonna get real old real fast (and furious). Hopefully they can let this franchise end gracefully.”

What I actually thought about it:

“We know what we’re getting here.”

“Personally, I think the franchise peaked at Fast Five. But at this point, it’s formula, and they have so many famous people to deal with, they can only do so much.”

“Nice to see Kurt Russell show up and not turn into a bad guy. Tell me we weren’t all expecting that shit to happen.”

“Tyrese is just offensive at this point how comically black sidekick stereotype he is.”

“The real joy of this franchise is watching them do crazier shit each time. Dropping the cars out of planes was nice. And I like your now-standard ‘Well how is Vin gonna get out of this situation?’ moment, wherein he does something crazy to get out of it.”

“It’s popcorn filmmaking. I can’t give it more than 3.”

“Did not go in for the whole Paul Walker tribute thing, but they handled it well. The final scene… ehh, I’ll let it go, but… my god, man.”

“I haven’t turned on this franchise yet. Though they might need to tone down the cast members. You’re marginalizing some of them by having to cycle through so many.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

It is what it is. Constantly moving, forget where we were twenty minutes ago, ridiculous action sequences and fun. Was not excited about the Paul Walker shit, but I was able to ignore that part. The Rock was marginalized, but he had to be. Otherwise, it’s dumb fun and I’ll enjoy the next one in two years. These are fun 3 star movies and won’t be anything more until they’re over with.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Effie Gray

What I said about it back in January:

“FINALLY this is gonna come out.”

“And now that it’s coming out… ehh.”

“I know Emma Thompson wrote it, but it got delayed over a year, and this is starting to look like In Secret last year.”

2.5 stars.”

What I actually thought about it:

“This sat on the shelf for so long that it couldn’t have gone any other way.”

“It’s a pretty lifeless period piece.”

“I like that it’s about women. That’s nice. But overall, it doesn’t amount to much. Almost nothing is worth a two and a half year wait.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Yawn.

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Last Knights

What I said about it back in January:

Hmm… I said I was gonna track it, then it somehow got left off my release calendar. Oh well, shit happens.

But I did say 3 stars last time I rated it, so let’s go with that.

What I actually thought about it:

“I actually kind of liked this. Maybe because it’s about knights.”

“I also liked how they clearly shot this with next to no money, but made it look halfway decent. I was impressed by how they worked with a limited budget.”

“Essentially it’s a 47 Ronin kind of story. You know how it’s gonna end. It’s got that tone throughout. But it’s watchable.”

“Most people will see this on Showtime in a year. It’s not terrible.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

It’s about knights. That’s cool. Otherwise, nothing great.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Superfast

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. I think I deliberately avoid knowing there’s gonna be another Friedberg and Seltzer movie and just let them happen.

What I actually thought about it:

“At this point I see their movies just to keep my enemies close.”

“It was complete shit, as everything they do is. And it’ll be bottom 15 for the year.”

“Mostly I do it as a public service announcement. These guys get to keep making movies. Which means that you can too. And you don’t even have to be very good at it, apparently.”

* ½ (1.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

I watch these movies as a public service so you don’t have to.

* ½ (1.5 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

5 to 7

What I said about it back in January:

2.5 stars.”

“This is the kind of movie that’s made for the 2.5 star rating.”

What I actually thought about it:

“I ended up really liking this movie.”

“It’s probably a naive movie, but as far as these indies go, I did enjoy it.”

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

I’m guessing this was a 3 last year and the extra year made me drop it. But I really enjoyed this. It’s probably only a 3 star movie, but I found myself really engaged by it, so we’ll keep the 3.5.

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a full star.

Lost River

What I said about it back in January:

“I’m still remotely interested in this, and even though all signs point to 2.5 stars, I’m going 3 stars. Maybe I’ll get enough out of this to like it.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Remember when this movie played Cannes last year and everyone HATED it? Because Gosling thought, ‘I did a couple of Nicolas Winding Refn movies, I can do this,’ and did exactly that.”

“Gotta tell you — not a bad movie. Not at all. In fact, certain types are gonna really love and support this movie. I feel like hipsters won’t support it, but the arthouse people might.”

“It looks great. It’s shot really well. The movie just doesn’t make any goddamn sense.”

“Gosling the director has a promising future. Gosling the writer needs some work. But it’s a fine first movie.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

I thought this was fine. Looked great, Gosling looked confident behind the camera. His story just needed work. Give him something with a good script and he’ll make you a good movie.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Woman in Gold

What I said about it back in January:

“I was excited for this. Only, I saw a trailer. It looked like overly sentimental garbage.”

3 stars. But I’m worried, because the trailer looked like a failed Oscar bait mess.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Ah, the movie that reeks of Oscar bait, but it’s the Weinsteins, so there’s a 50/50 success rate. Or rather: the Weinstein contender that never was. They always dump these in the first half of the year.”

“It’s trial stuff, so you can get through it and enjoy it. But it’s cliche all the way.”

“Nice to see Tatiana Maslany in a movie. I feel like she did it to prove she can do anything (she speaks in German the whole time).”

“Totally throwaway Oscar bait movie that turns into schmaltzy middle-aged fodder.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

The Oscar bait that couldn’t. Still an okay movie. Part trial movie. That’s what got it to 3. Plus Tatiana Maslany on the run from Nazis. It’s fine. Just don’t have high expectations for it.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

The Longest Ride

What I said about it back in January:

“I saw the poster for this and immediately went, “Nicholas Sparks.” You can spot them from a mile away.”

2 stars.”

“These are all awful.”

“Though it is nice to see Alan Alda in something. He’s not in nearly enough movies.”

What I actually thought about it:

“To be fair, I was able to get through this okay, but maybe that’s just because it caught me on a good day. These really only end up either 2 or 2.5 stars. They caught me on an indifferent day, so it got 2.5.”

“These are all not good, though, and everyone should know this.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

This caught me on a good day. I was indifferent and didn’t think it was utter shit. Still — Nicholas Sparks movie. You know what you’re getting.

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a half-star.

Ex Machina

What I said about it back in January:

“Sure. 3 stars. Seems like a serviceable April thriller.”

What I actually thought about it:

“LOVED this movie. Love how they handled it on a budget, how the actors played it, loved everything about it.”

“The dancing scene might be the best single scene of 2015.”

“I’ve typically had a problem with Alex Garland scripts and how they handle the third act, but this one does a good job of it. Definitely gonna end up pretty high on my year-end list.”

* * * * (4 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Loved this movie. This might end up top 20 for me this year. That’s how much I liked it. Really well done low budget thriller.

And the dancing scene is still my favorite single scene of 2015.

* * * * (4 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a full star.

Kill Me Three Times

What I said about it back in January:

“This is a holdover. That Simon Pegg assassin movie. Or something like that.”

2.5 stars. Pushed, VOD… can’t go 3.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Ehh. Not really sure what the purpose was. All these stories happening, vaguely connected. Didn’t really care. Nice to see Australian people get to do Australian things. Otherwise, indifferent about this.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Nice to see Australian people get to do Australian things.

Although, based on the movies, that leads me to believe there are a lot of bored people in Australia doing a lot of drugs and committing a lot of crimes and adultery.

Is that what I’m supposed to believe?

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

True Story

What I said about it back in January:

“I’m gonna say 3 stars. The April release date and the thriller-y aspect of it… I can’t feel good about going 3.5 stars. Let’s let the film decide what it is.”

What I actually thought about it:

“This is a strange movie. Because I feel like it could have been more than it was. ”

“It amounts to a watchable, but not great, crime story. They skip over interesting parts and focus on some less interesting parts.”

“It seems like they just completely cut Felicity Jones out of the movie. Which is odd. But the story is fascinating. So there’s that. The movie… not as much.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

If you’re going to see a movie about two guys talking, see The End of the Tour and not this. This was fine, but this is a movie where there’s no suspense or surprise. It’s jut two guys talking. And then they try to have some reveal like it’s a thriller. And Felicity Jones is marginalized. It’s decent, but it’s not great.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Alex of Venice

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. Which is weird. I thought I knew about this. Hmm.

What I actually thought about it:

“This is a solid 3 star movie. Not 3.5, but not a regular 3. I liked it, but it was too cliche indie for me to really like it.”

“Overall, it falls into too many indie traps and tries to be profound by using a play to mirror the story. But it’s solid. Worth a watch.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Still wondering how I managed to not preview this. But whatever. Indie movie, 3 stars, the usual fare.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

Child 44

What I said about it back in January:

“I was excited for this last year.”

3.5 stars. Sounds like my kind of movie.”

“This is one of the more promising sounding movies I’ve seen so far this calendar. So we’ll take a shot.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Big stars doing accents in a boring and morose film.”

“The problem with this is — the cast is great, and the premise suggests that the film is gonna be good, but the film itself just isn’t very good.”

“The premise is great. The execution is not. Which is a shame, because there are good actors here, and this could have been something much better.”

“Think of this like Gone Girl — with David Fincher, you get a great movie. Without David Fincher, you get a mediocre thriller. This movie needed a David Fincher.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

This movie needed a David Fincher.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a half-star.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

What I said about it back in January:

“Eleven billion stars.”

“What else can you say for such a blight upon humanity?”

1.5 stars.”

“This is Unforgivable on sheer existence alone.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Of course this was gonna be bad.”

“I didn’t hate it, which is probably owing to me being less angry with bad movies and also Kevin James completely going all-in on the style of comedy.”

“We know it’s bad. I don’t make sequels Unforgivable unless they really give me a reason. And this didn’t. So it’s just bad, and we move on.”

* * (2 stars)

Final Thoughts:

“What else can you say for such a blight upon humanity?”

* * (2 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a half-star.

Unfriended

What I said about it back in January:

“Yeah…”

“It is told entirely from the desktop of a computer. So there’s that.”

“Not excited that this is a horror movie.”

2.5 stars.”

What I actually thought about it:

“I only watched it for the premise. Otherwise, not particularly good or memorable at all.”

“Blumhouse movies by and large aren’t particularly enjoyable for me. And I usually skip them if I can. But I gave this one a shot because of the concept. Wasn’t rewarded.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Without the premise, this is a skip. So I guess I can thank the premise for me getting one right?

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

The Forger

What I said about it back in January:

“I feel like I should still go 3 stars with it. Not sure why.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Travolta doesn’t seem to work often anymore, but when he does, they’re not awful. (Old Dogs aside.)”

“This movie is mostly generic. Guy goes to prison, uses a criminal associate to get out, now has to work for them. But the only reason he’s out is because his son has a tumor and is dying and he wants to see him before he goes. It’s good enough. Not great, but watchable.”

“I’ll give this a single thumbs up. You could do worse for VOD movies.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Single thumbs up. You could do worse. But again, this appeals to me because I grew up on these kinds of movies.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. Learned about it right before it came out.

What I actually thought about it:

“So this might actually be my favorite movie of the year so far. (Top two for sure.)”

“It’s a hipster’s paradise, though.”

“This is for all those people who make annoying senior theses that have no plot but feature little dialogue, people skateboarding, long shots of people walking and amateur thinking it’s brilliant level framing, and indie music.”

“And yet — really liked this movie. Why? Because there’s a romance at the center. That’s why. And it’s nice black and white photography.”

“I’d love for this to end up in tier two when all is said and done. Seek this one out.”

* * * * (4 stars)

Final Thoughts:

This was my favorite movie of the year well into May. Now it’s solidly tier two. Really enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and I like it when movies are all artistic and also actually interesting. Totally reeks of senior thesis film, but in a good way.

How close was I?: N/A

The Water Diviner

What I said about it back in January:

“You’d think for sure it would get an Oscar type release, but the Weinsteins are dumping it in April. Which isn’t promising. But then again, when an actor directs, and doesn’t seem like the directing type… these things don’t always turn out well.”

3 stars. We’ll give Crowe the benefit of the doubt. Have to drop it a half star (since I think I went 3.5 last year) due to the circumstances of release.”

What I actually thought about it:

I was excited because Crowe was directing, and it sounded like it could be good — but it doesn’t amount to much.”

“It looks good, and does an okay job of telling its story. I just didn’t care all that much.”

“It was an adequate first movie. But I won’t be watching it again.”

“I wonder if this will lead him into more movies, or just be a one-off. Because he can be a good director, with the right material. Curious to see where he takes it.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

The movie looks great, but otherwise, it’s just okay. A solid debut from Crowe, though.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Just Before I Go

What I said about it back in January:

“Courtney Cox directed this.”

“Courtney Cox directed this.”

2.5 stars.”

What I actually thought about it:

“Courtney Cox directed this movie. And that amused me.”

“Otherwise, it’s an indie that doesn’t know if it wants to be comedy or drama, and in many respects sacrifices what could be successful drama for stupid comedy.”

“Not awful, but mostly forgettable. One of those movies that thinks it’s more profound than it is. You don’t need to worry about seeing this one.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Did you guys know Courtney Cox directed this movie?

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Exact.

Little Boy

What I said about it back in January:

“Why is this getting a wide release? That’s suspect. This doesn’t feel like something Hollywood would give a wide release. What’s that about?”

“And Emily Watson is in this. Has she met a sentimental World War II story involving kids she didn’t like?”

“Trailer wasn’t overwhelming. I’ll still say 3 stars just because stories centered around children generally appeal to me. But I’m not too confident in that 3.”

What I actually thought about it:

“I’m torn about this one. The idea is good, and it means well, but goddamn is this movie manipulative as all hell.”

“It goes one-dimensional and cliche at will, and any time it starts to get interesting, we fall back on another cliche. You can spot where it’s going from a mile away.”

“I’m torn between giving it a pass because its heart is in the right place and being mad at it for being so predictable and expecting me to care. So we’ll give it a 2.5 and move on.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

This movie is actually pretty offensive.

I’m gonna spoil the movie for you, but honestly, it’s your fault if you don’t want to be spoiled and would prefer to actually see the movie.

This movie positions itself in such a way that its climax is its main character, an undersized child known as (insert title here), thinking he can move mountains with his mind if he thinks hard enough trying to use that to make the war end so his father comes home. And the next day he sees a newspaper, which says the atomic bomb was dropped on Japan, nicknamed “Little Boy.” And the movie wants you to think that’s a really cute and beautiful moment.

That says just about everything about this movie that you need to know.

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a half-star.

Cobain: Montage of Heck

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. Part of the Great Documentary Purge of 2015.

What I actually thought about it:

“It’s immaculately constructed. The music is great, the animated recreation sequences and editing are great — I just didn’t care about the subject matter that much.”

“I just don’t buy into the mythology of Kurt Cobain and all that fascination about him that people have.”

“I’ll give it a great rating, because it deserves that, but if I cared about Kurt Cobain even a little bit, then this would actually be a really big film for me this year.”

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

It was really well made. I wish I cared more than I did. But oh well.

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

Misery Loves Comedy

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. Documentary Purge film.

What I actually thought about it:

“Any documentary about comedians talking about comedy, I’m in.”

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Love me some comedy docs.

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

Iris

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. I think I found out about it in April when I saw a trailer before Roar at Cinefamily. It got watched as part of the Great Documentary Roundup I do every December.

What I actually thought about it:

“I went in thinking, ‘How can this be any interesting?’ and then midway through I went, ‘Oh, of course, it’s Maysles.'”

“This is just a fascinating woman, and watching her do her thing was more interesting to me than any political documentary they put out there.”

“It’s also Maysles’ last film, so if you’re a fan of his, check it out.”

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

I liked it. She’s an interesting woman. She does fashion frugally. That’s my kind of woman. Who needs expensive shit? But $12 bracelets and scarves.

* * * ½ (3.5 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

Adult Beginners

What I said about it back in January:

Nothing. I knew about it, but was pretty certain I would skip it and never mention it.

What I actually thought about it:

“This wasn’t bad. I liked it. I feel like these are the type of indies people hate because the characters aren’t likable. But these are actors I like, so I’m moderately invested in them.”

“I don’t love the movie, but the actors get me through.”

* * * (3 stars)

Final Thoughts:

It’s decent enough.

* * * (3 stars)

How close was I?: N/A

The Age of Adaline

What I said about it back in January:

“How are you rendered ageless after an accident?”

“And how do you lose immortality?”

“These things make me incredibly nervous.”

“But I’m gonna go, despite all my best instincts, with 3 stars. Why? Because I’m dumb.”

What I actually thought about it:

“They took a moderately interesting premise and turned it into a Nicholas Sparks movie. And they got the narrator of The Assassination of Jesse James to narrate this. That deserves a fuck you.”

“Otherwise, it’s a deeply flawed movie that’s not awful, but not great. Maybe a few years ago I could have went lower, but otherwise, whatever.”

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

Final Thoughts:

Why? Because I’m dumb.

Also, seriously fuck them for getting the Assassination of Jesse James narrator to do this.

* * ½ (2.5 stars)

How close was I?: Off by a half-star.

– – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow is May.

http://bplusmovieblog.com

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