The 2016 Film Release Calendar: October

Every January, I preview all the films that are scheduled to come out for that year. I go through the existing release calendar, month by month, and guess how much or how little I’m going to like each of the films.

The major benefit is that it allows me, come the end of the year, to see which movies ended up surprising me for better or for worse, or which ones I had wildly disproportionate expectations for. It also gives me a chance to know what’s coming out and what to look forward to.

I also take all the films that are filming or in post and theoretically able to come out that year and preview those too, along with all the films from the previous year(s) that have yet to come out that I’ve been tracking. In all, I end up previewing more films than pretty much anyone else, I’ve been told.

October

The Accountant

A forensic accountant un-cooks the books for illicit clients.

This movie was originally scheduled for February, then they moved it to October. Either they think they have a potential awards contender on their hands, a potential hit on their hands, both, or they wanted to avoid having two Gavin O’Connor films come out in the same few weeks. Because he also did Jane Got a Gun, and since that got delayed so much, he managed to shoot and finish this in the meantime.

It’s hard to look at that synopsis and not think “Michael Clayton Lite.”

Ben Affleck plays (insert title here). Anna Kendrick, Jon Bernthal, J.K. Simmons, Jeffrey Tambor and John Lithgow are also in it. Which is a solid cast.

I can’t imagine this is going to blow me away, but I think we can get a solid 3.5 stars out of this.

The Girl on the Train

The Girl On The Train follows the story of a woman named Rachel, who goes on a train to London. She witnesses the “perfect” couple. Scott and Megan. But one day, havoc ensues this couple, and Rachel becomes involved in their drama/ murder mystery of Megan Hipwell.

This is a terrible synopsis, IMDB. You gotta fix that shit up.

This is based on one of those Gone Girl type novels, it sounds like. Which means they’re gonna expect a lot of money and some awards attention out of this.

Tate Taylor directs. He’s the guy who did The Help and Get on Up, which were perfectly fine movies but not really particularly outstanding.

Emily Blunt is Rachel, Haley Bennett is Megan (spoiler alert, she gets murdered. Thanks, IMDB!), Luke Evans is Scott. Justin Theroux, Rebecca Ferguson, Laura Prepon, Edgar Ramirez, Allison Janney and Lisa Kudrow are also in it.

Apparently the Emily Blunt character is a drunk, so expect her to be solidly in the awards conversation next year, assuming this film doesn’t fail miserably.

Sounds like it’s more of a thriller, so without a David Fincher here to elevate the material, I can’t go higher than 3.5 stars. This doesn’t sound like something that’ll go any higher than 4 for me.

Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

A quiet teenage artist Rafe Katchadorian has a wild imagination and is sick of middle school and the rules that have been put before him. Rafe and his best friend Leo have come up with a plan; break every rule in the school hand book and as you expect trouble follows.

It’s a kids movie. So I don’t care.

2.5 stars. Maybe 3 at best. It is what it is.

The Bye Bye Man

An adaptation of a short story called “The Bridge to Body Island,” by Robert Damon Schneck, the story centers on three Wisconsin college students who come up against the sinister titular “Bye Bye Man.”

Hell of a title. Too bad it looks like a shitty horror movie. Doug Jones plays the Bye Bye Man. Carrie-Anne Moss and Faye Dunaway (what?) are in it.

2.5 stars. If I see it.

A Monster Calls

A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom’s terminal illness.

This might be the movie I’m most excited for this year.

J.A. Bayona is directing. I loved The Impossible something fierce. And the script sounds exactly like the kind of movie I go all in for.

Felicity Jones plays the mother, Liam Neeson plays the tree monster.

I’m all in on this.

4.5 stars.

Fuck that superhero shit, I want to see this.

Underworld 5

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen any of these movies. So this will be a skip.

There’s a female director here, so that’s cool. But I still won’t see it. That’s the rule. If I haven’t seen the original film, I don’t watch the sequels.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Jack Reacher returns to the headquarters of his old unit, only to find out he’s now accused of a 16-year-old homicide.

The first Jack Reacher was solid. I’m surprised it did well enough to warrant a sequel. Especially at a bigger budget. But sure.

Ed Zwick is directing this, which is a nice change of pace for him.

Cruise is back, with Cobie Smulders and a bunch of people I’ve never heard of. Which leads me to believe that Cruise got all the money, everyone else is being paid peanuts, and all the money is going into him and the budget.

Either way, Cruise cares, so at worst, this is 3 stars. The first one was 4. So I’ll split the difference and say 3.5 stars. They have enough faith in this to put it out in October. And I have faith in Cruise to make this movie worthwhile. He likes practical action, and there’s no sci fi element to this, so he’s gonna make this entertaining.

Ouija 2

Nope. Done. First one was forgettable, have no reason to see this one. This is a skip.

Inferno

After waking up in a hospital room in Florence, Italy, with no memory of what has occurred for the last few days, Robert Langdon suddenly finds himself the target of a manhunt. With the help of Dr. Sienna Brooks and his knowledge of symbology, Langdon will try to escape whilst solving the most intricate riddle he’s ever faced.

Okay, okay. Another Dan Brown. These usually go well enough. And I like the set up.

Tom Hanks is back. Felicity Jones, Ben Foster, Irrfan Khan, Omar Sy.

The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons were both 3 star movies, so why wouldn’t this also be 3 stars? I’m sure it’ll be perfectly entertaining, but not all that great.

– – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow is November.

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