Oscars 2015: 22nd Screen Actors Guild Awards

Here’s the recap of last night’s SAG Awards.

It won’t be that much in depth, since it’s one of the most boring shows to actually sit down and watch. They speed through a bunch of categories and all that really matters is the results.

I’ll hurry through the categories and then tell you what it means for the Oscar race at the bottom.

Here are your SAG Awards results:

Best Actress in a Comedy Series

Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Winner: Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black

Hmm…

Best Actor in a Comedy Series

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Louis C.K., Louie

William H. Macy, Shameless

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Winner: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

“Get up here, Dad.” That’s great.

It was a really classy speech, too.

Best Ensemble in a Comedy Series

The Big Bang Theory

Key & Peele

Modern Family

Orange Is the New Black

Transparent

Veep

Winner: Orange Is the New Black

Just knocking out all the comedy shit first, huh?

Best Supporting Actress

Rooney Mara, Carol

Rachel McAdams, Spotlight

Helen Mirren, Trumbo

Alivia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Winner: Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Yup.

Interesting dress choice. The dress matches the curtains.

Nice cut to the dude in the background downing his drink behind Eddie Redmayne while she cried on stage.

Oh, that’s Nicole Kidman’s husband. What’s she there for? Oh, right, Grace of Monaco. Ha ha.

Vikander’s gotta cut down that speech before the Oscars.

Saoirse Ronan is awesome.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, The Big Short

Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation

Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies

Michael Shannon, 99 Homes

Jacob Tremblay, Room

Winner: Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation

That is a first in the history of the SAG Awards.

Best Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries

Nicole Kidman, Grace of Monaco

Queen Latifah, Bessie

Christina Ricci, The Lizzie Borden Chronicles

Susan Sarandon, The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe

Kristen Wiig, The Spoils Before Dying

Winner: Queen Latifah, Bessie

She’s awesome.

And so is Jacob Tremblay.

Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries

Idris Elba, Luther

Ben Kingsley, Tut

Ray Liotta, Texas Rising

Bill Murray, A Very Murray Christmas

Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall

Ben Kingsley wore a lot of makeup in Tut.

And shit, Ray Liotta looks awesome in Texas Rising.

I don’t think Bill Murray is there, which sucks. That’s the only reason I’d have wanted him to win.

And I know Rylance isn’t there.

Winner: Idris Elba, Luther

Statements being made.

Not that he’s not wholly deserving. Because he absolutely is.

Carol Burnett is a fucking treasure.

Best Actress in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, Homeland

Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Robin Wright, House of Cards

Winner: Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder

Hmm…

Best Actor in a Drama Series

Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Rami Malek, Mr. Robot

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul

Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Winner: Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Yes, yes.

I like how Susan Sarandon is announcing the dead person montage with tits firmly on display. That’s — fitting for Hollywood.

Best Ensemble in a Drama Series

Downton Abbey

Game of Thrones

Homeland

House of Cards

Mad Men

Winner: Downton Abbey

K.

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Carol

Brie Larson, Room

Helen Mirren, Woman in Gold

Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

Sarah Silverman, I Smile Back

Winner: Brie Larson, Room

Yup.

Best Actor

Bryan Cranston, Trumbo

Johnny Depp, Black Mass

Leonardo DiCaprio, The Renenant

Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs

Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl

Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

But what will happen to the memes?

Best Ensemble Cast

Beasts of No Nation

The Big Short

Spotlight

Straight Outta Compton

Trumbo

Winner: Spotlight

Makes sense. That’ll keep things interesting until BAFTA and DGA.

– – – – – – – – – –

So what does it all mean?

Well, Leo and Brie Larson are winning. That’s what we’ve all assumed until now, and this just confirmed that fact. BAFTA will likely confirm this once more over. And even if they don’t, this is happening.

Alicia Vikander is going to win Best Supporting Actress. If she was nominated there for the Globes, she’d have won it too. She won it for BFCA, not that I pay too much attention to it. But otherwise, there’s no direct competition for her. It’s hers to lose.

Mark Rylance or Christian Bale didn’t win Supporting, which pretty much means that Sylvester Stallone is taking that Oscar home with him. Because Idris Elba will now likely win the BAFTA, which will mean Stallone will walk the Oscar stage and we’ll be left with the idea of a horrible slight on Elba’s part in a year where the Oscars were really racist. That’s just how it’s gonna look.

Oh, and did you notice that, aside from the final award (which went to the whitest cast of all), not a single black actor lost an award all night? Think that was deliberate? Me too.

And then, Spotlight. People like to think SAG Ensemble means something. They gave it out 21 times, and only ten times has the winner gone on to win Best Picture. So we’re running a cool 50%. It’s not that meaningful.

Mostly SAG just confirms (or sets down the path for) the acting winners. That’s all they ever are. They haven’t missed a Supporting Actress winner since 2007 (technically their 2008 winner won, just in a different category), they haven’t missed a Best Actor winner since Johnny Depp for Pirates in ’03, and Best Actress, they missed with Viola Davis in 2011 and Meryl in 2008. So they’re pretty solid most of the time, and there’s no reason to think they’re gonna get it wrong this year.

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