Oscars 2017: 75th Golden Globe Awards

So the Golden Globes were last night. Sometimes I live blog them. This is not one of those times. I just didn’t have the energy or the desire (or the sobriety) to do it.

The show was way less fun than it’s been in previous years (though maybe it’s only been fun for me because of the drinking during it). They went long early and just kind of sped through categories to get stuff over with. Which kinda defeats the purpose of an awards show.

But yeah. The first piece of our Oscar puzzle is now in place. Two more big ones coming on Thursday with DGA and BFCA. But until then, I really only have one question — why do the Globes keep putting that microphone back into the ground during commercials only to raise it back up like, a minute later?

Best Picture – Drama

Call Me By Your Name

Dunkirk

The Post

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Winner: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

WOW. That… that is a thing. That is a thing they did. This won FOUR awards. That’s — that’s a swing for the fences. Is this possible that two of my three favorite films of the year are gonna be the frontrunners for Best Picture? I’ll take it if so. I thought Shape of Water had it in the bag. Even after this won three previous awards I didn’t think they’d go there. That’s… that’s not insignificant.

Also, props to Streisand’s speech beforehand, which definitely helped Greta Gerwig’s chances at a Best Director nomination. (Wouldn’t that be awesome?)

Best Picture – Musical/Comedy

The Disaster Artist

Get Out

The Greatest Showman

I, Tonya

Lady Bird

Winner: Lady Bird

This made the most sense. They like Oscar contenders. And this is gonna be a contender. Get Out would have been a statement win and nothing more, even though it’ll probably be nominated. This was the choice for them if they wanna be relevant for the Oscars, which they do. I also would not be upset if this won the whole thing in the end. So this is a good start.

I’ve made peace from the start that Phantom Thread is gonna be overlooked, so that aside, Lady Bird and Three Billboards are my two favorite films of the year, so this is great for me. I’ve been happy most years this decade, Oscar-wise. This is pleasant.

Best Director

Guillermo Del Toro, The Shape of Water

Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk

Ridley Scott, All the Money in the World

Steven Spielberg, The Post

Winner: Guillermo Del Toro

Good for him. He was gonna give the best speech of any of these people. And he told the music to shut the fuck up, which is always a plus.

Weird they went for him and then didn’t give his movie Best Picture. Makes you wonder why Nolan didn’t win.

This throws DGA up in the air. And we don’t even know the nominees yet.

Best Actor – Drama

Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread

Timothee Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name

Tom Hanks, The Post

Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour

Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Winner: Gary Oldman

This was inevitable, and this is the beginning of the train.

I wish this train started in 2011 for Tinker Tailor, but better late than never.

Gary Oldman’s gonna get his Oscar. Hallelujah.

Best Actor – Musical/Comedy

Steve Carell, Battle of the Sexes

Ansel Elgort, Baby Driver

James Franco, The Disaster Artist

Hugh Jackman, The Greatest Showman

Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out

Winner: James Franco

Of course he brought Tommy to the stage.

And I bet a bunch of people saw that and went, “What the hell is this?” That’s been my thing from the start — how many people even know about The Room, let alone what The Disaster Artist is? Apparently enough.

James Franco might be nominated for Best Actor for this, guys.

If he’s nominated, he’ll join a select group of people who directed themselves to a Best Actor nomination. A group that includes: Laurence Olivier, Orson Welles, Charlie Chaplin, Clint Eastwood, Warren Beatty, Roberto Benigni, Denzel Washington, Kevin Costner, Kenneth Branagh, Woody Allen, Billy Bob Thornton, Ed Harris and Robert Duvall.

So keep that in mind. Because this seems to be happening, folks.

Best Actress – Drama

Jessica Chastain, Molly’s Game

Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water

Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

Meryl Streep, The Post

Michelle Williams, All the Money in the World

Winner: Frances McDormand

There it is, folks.

SHE IS OUR JOHN WAYNE.

They didn’t even bother playing the music on her. They knew it wouldn’t matter.

I think she wins the Oscar. I think this set that in motion. And I’m fine with it.

Best Actress – Musical/Comedy

Judi Dench, Victoria and Abdul

Helen Mirren, The Leisure Seeker

Margot Robbie, I, Tonya

Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird

Emma Stone, Battle of the Sexes

Winner: Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird

Well that’s a call. They think she’s got a shot at the big one. I thought for sure they’d take Margot. This… might be significant. I hope it is. They had two choices here, and both were gonna be great.

If the Oscar is her versus McDormand, I am more than happy with it.

Best Supporting Actor

Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project

Armie Hammer, Call Me By Your Name

Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water

Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World

Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

Winner: Sam Rockwell

I said out loud, as they were cycling through the nominees, “This feels like Sam Rockwell.” So that was nice. I also loved the performance, so this gives me hope for the future, that he actually could win the Oscar. Not there yet, but it’s a nice start.

Best Supporting Actress

Mary J. Blige, Mudbound

Hong Chau, Downsizing

Allison Janney, I, Tonya

Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird

Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Winner: Allison Janney

This makes a lot of sense. She was gonna give the best speech of anyone. It was her or Metcalf, and she’s got the bigger history with the Hollywood Foreign Press. I’d be happy if she won the Oscar.

Also, shout out to the Kirk Douglas tribute after she won. That was nice. And seeing him show up was worth the price of admission alone.

Best Screenplay

Lady Bird

Molly’s Game

The Post

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Winner: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Yeah. That one made sense.

“And Woody Harrelson too, wherever he might be tonight.” I want to be that guy, one day. The one who’s just ‘out there’.

He’s not up for WGA because he’s ineligible, so if BAFTA goes with him, then he might win the Oscar.

Best Original Score

Dunkirk

Phantom Thread

The Post

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Winner: The Shape of Water

Makes sense. That score is incredible, and I think Desplat is the best composer working today. I’d be very happy to see him win his second Oscar in March. He’ll probably be up against most of the same competition.

Best Original Song

“Remember Me,” from Coco

“Home,” from Ferdinand

“This Is Me,” from The Greatest Showman

“Mighty River,” from Mudbound

“The Star,” from The Star

Winner: “This Is Me”

Oh, wow. They went for the deserving nominee and not starfuckery. That’s rare.

They’ve also got this right at the Oscars three years in a row. This… could be four.

Whether or not this wins, I guarantee this will be a hell of a moment on that stage when they perform it.

Best Animated Feature

The Boss Baby

The Breadwinner

Coco

Ferdinand

Loving Vincent

Winner: Coco

This reminds me of the year Jack Black came out at the Oscars and said something like, “The way I make a lot of money is doing a voice in a big hit animated movie… and then betting it all on Pixar at the Oscars.”

We all have one right so far. So you got that going for you.

Best Foreign Language Film

A Fantastic Woman

First They Killed My Father

In the Fade

Loveless

The Square

Winner: In the Fade

Okay, then. In the Fade. Sure. Let’s see if they nominate it.

– – – – – – – – – –

Best TV Series – Drama

The Crown

Game of Thrones

The Handmaid’s Tale

Stranger Things

This Is Us

Winner: The Handmaid’s Tale

Women. Makes sense. It was this or The Crown. Forgot to take subject matter into account.

The only thing interesting about this for me is that Roseanne and John Goodman presented it.

Best TV Series – Comedy/Musical

Black-ish

Master of None

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

SMILF

Will and Grace

Winner: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

This was presaged by Brosnahan winning earlier in the night.

A new show wins this every year, and then never again. So congrats, guys. I hope your show makes you all very successful. (This was not sarcasm.)

Best Miniseries or TV Movie

Big Little Lies

Fargo

Feud

The Sinner

Top of the Lake

Winner: Big Little Lies

Considering the the rest of the night, this winning was anticlimactic. But sure.

Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama

Jason Bateman, Ozark

Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us

Freddie Highmore, The Good Doctor

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul

Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Winner: Sterling K. Brown

Good for him. I assumed they’d never go there, but I’m glad they did. He gave one of the better speeches of the night. Though most of the speeches were really good.

Best Actor in a TV Series – Comedy/Musical

Anthony Anderson, Black-ish

Aziz Ansari, Master of None

Kevin Bacon, I Love Dick

William H. Macy, Shameless

Erick McCormack, Will and Grace

Winner: Aziz Ansari

Even though he didn’t win, Anthony Anderson is the best.

They also made Emilia Clarke say “I love dick.”

So yeah. This was the part of the night where they rushed through awards just so they could give Oprah extra time. And honestly? Fair.

Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama

Caitriona Balfe, Outlander

Claire Foy, The Crown

Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Deuce

Katherine Langford, 13 Reasons Why

Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale

Winner: Elisabeth Moss

That one was one of the biggest locks of the night. No one’s surprised about this result.

Best Actress in a TV Series – Comedy/Musical

Pamela Adlon, Better Things

Alison Brie, GLOW

Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Issa Rae, Insecure

Frankie Shaw, SMILF

Winner: Rachel Brosnahan

Once again continuing the trend of someone winning this for a show I’ve never heard of. But Brosnahan was Rachel in House of Cards, so I know who she is! Guessing this character’s gonna go a bit different.

My trick for this category is to guess the show I’ve never heard of. That’s how this usually goes.

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie

Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies

Jude Law, The Young Pope

Ewan McGregor, Fargo

Kyle McLachlen, Twin Peaks: The Return

Geoffrey Rush, Genius

Winner: Ewan McGregor

Sweet. He pulled double duty, so good for him. Still think Jude Law gave the better performance, but I’m happy with this result.

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie

Jessica Biel, The Sinner

Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies

Jessica Lange, Feud

Susan Sarandon, Feud

Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies

Winner: Nicole Kidman

That one was obvious. Lange didn’t even show up. This set the tone for that show, which won.. four, right? This was the Three Billboards of TV.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

Alfred Molina, Feud

David Harbour, Stranger Things

Alexander Skarsgard, Big Little Lies

Christian Slater, Mr. Robot

David Thewlis, Fargo

Winner: Alexander Skarsgard

Oh, wow. The obvious choice actually wins here.

So this is the guy from True Blood, not the creepy clown. It’s tough keeping track of these Skarsgards.

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

Laura Dern, Big Little Lies

Ann Dowd, The Handmaid’s Tale

Chrissy Metz, This Is Us

Michelle Pfeiffer, The Wizard of Lies

Shailene Woodley, Big Little Lies

Winner: Laura Dern

So they just went all in on this show. But if it wasn’t Pfeiffer, she made the most sense. Who doesn’t like Laura Dern?

– – – – – – – – – –

So that’s where we are. Three Billboards, Lady Bird. Do we think this holds up? I don’t know. But for now, that’s what we got. DGA nominees announced Thursday, Critics Choice announced Thursday. If they go in a similar direction, then yeah, that’s what we got for this year. BAFTA also announces nominees tomorrow. So we’re gonna have a lot of this stuff locked into place almost two weeks before the Oscar nominees are even announced. Which is ample enough time for everything to get totally fucked up.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the Release Calendar, and will be popping in every now and again for guild stuff and what not. Tis the season, guys.

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