The 2018 Film Release Calendar: September
It’s January, which means it’s preview time up here at B+ Movie Blog.
I don’t really peruse other places, but if I were to guess, I would say I’m the only person that goes this deep on their preview coverage for a year. I go month to month based on what’s scheduled to come out, preview like 200 extra movies that you probably have never even heard about as of now, and then bring back all the stuff from last year and previous years that I’ve been tracking that hasn’t come out yet. I’m not the kind of person who just goes, “Oh my god, Avengers! Wrinkle in Time! (Insert other movies the studios are paying us to talk up to fit the narrative to get us more clicks)!” If you ever see a slideshow from me, then you know I’ve given up.
The reason I do this is purely for me, though I imagine anyone stumbling on this will get something out of it to. What I try to do is preview everything so I’m aware of it when it comes out, and, to make it interesting for myself, try to guess what I’m gonna think of it when I do see it. That way, I can see what films surprised me or disappointed me from every angle (before, during and after).
We’re onto September.
The Darkest Minds
After a disease kills 98% of America’s children, the surviving 2% develop superpowers and are placed in internment camps. A 16-year-old girl escapes her camp and joins a group of other teens on the run from the government.
Sounds like it’s based on a young adult book. I’d have loved if this were secretly some sort of X-Men spinoff they’re gonna eventually tie into the franchise. Because that’s the next step. Secret universe films. Cloverfield’s doing it on a small level. What they need to do is get a great little drama where, at the end of the film, you realize, “Oh this is (insert hero/villain here).” Imagine watching a really good little movie with sci-fi overtones and then realizing, “Wait, shit, that was Magneto?” But no, this won’t be that. I just had another one of my great ideas.
I like the idea of this movie, but since it’s YA, I can’t assume anything more than 3 stars. The lead is the girl from the first Hunger Games who was just in that movie where she can’t go outside with the fucked up twist. I mean, sure, I’m sure it’ll be fine, and then if it does well they’ll force another one on us where they build out the universe more and I care less.
A story of survival set 20,000 years ago during the last Ice Age.
This is that weird movie with the trailer that says it’s the origin story of why dogs and humans love each other so much. Never failed — any time this trailer came up in a theater I was in, people laughed at it. Because that’s ridiculous.
Looks like 10,000 B.C., and directed by Albert Hughes, who did The Book of Eli. So… not expecting much. They also pushed this like twice already.
3 stars. Could be bad, but they put so much money into it, you have to assume watchable.
Fighting with My Family
A former wrestler and his family make a living performing at small venues around the country, while his kids dream of joining World Wrestling Entertainment.
Written and directed by Stephen Merchant. This is, I think, based on someone’s real story? The Rock is in this, but it seems to be more of a cameo than anything. Lena Headey, Vince Vaughn, Florence Pugh and Nick Frost are in this.
I… don’t know what this is gonna be. But something tells me to guess 3.5 stars. There’s no reason for me to do this, but it feels right.
The House with a Clock in Its Walls
A young orphan named Lewis Barnavelt aids his magical uncle in locating a clock with the power to bring about the end of the world.
Eli Roth is directing this, and it stars Cate Blanchett and Jack Black.
Could… could Eli Roth actually be directing a decent movie for once?
Let’s not get our hopes up.
3 stars. If this can be a solid 3, then it’ll be the best thing he’s ever directed.
A gritty take on the classic Robin Hood story.
That doesn’t fill me with hope. Because King Arthur worked out so well already.
This isn’t even Guy Ritchie. This is a guy who did a lot of UK TV. Including the first three episodes of Peaky Blinders, which is what I’m sure got him the gig.
Taron Egerton is Robin Hood, Jamie Fox is Little John, Ben Mendelsohn is the Sheriff, Jamie Dornan is Will Scarlet, and Eve Hewson is Maid Marion. It’s a good cast.
So good, that I have to say 3.5 stars. Because, if this isn’t 3, then they assembled these people needlessly and I need to see it as a visible disappointment.
Maybe they can do gritty correctly for once.
Or they’ll just fuck it up again.
But hey, at least Robin Hood doesn’t have an opening for a CGI monster in the third act, right?
Johnny English 3
Johnny English returns to save the world again.
Didn’t we say all we needed to say with the first two Johnny English movies?
A group of troublemakers who are forced to attend night school in hopes that they’ll pass the GED exam to finish high school.
From the director of Girls Trip. Based on an idea by Kevin Hart and co-written by Kevin Hart, and starring Kevin Hart.
3 stars? Maybe it’ll be okay?
A Yeti is convinced that the elusive creatures known as “humans” really do exist.
Channing Tatum voices the yeti. Also voicing characters are Zendaya, Gina Rodriguez, Danny Devito, James Corden, Common, Jimmy Tatro (from American Vandal) and LeBron James.
That’s right. LeBron James.
Don’t trust anything that’s not Disney, Pixar or Ghibli and doesn’t sound good.
The son of a baptist preacher is forced to participate in a church-supported gay conversion program.
Joel Edgerton directs and adapted the script. I really enjoyed The Gift. Here’s hoping he takes a big step forward.
He has Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, himself, Russell Crowe and Xavier Dolan in this.
3.5 stars. Seems like an easy guess. Could get 4 out of this. This might be really good.
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