The 2019 Film Release Calendar: May
New year, new movies.
I begin every new year by taking a look at what movies there are to come out. It helps me to be aware of stuff so I can actively track it throughout the year, and I think it’s helpful for most people who care about movies to at least be informed of what’s going on. Far too often do I talk to my friends who are casually into movies, and they have no idea what’s coming out or when the stuff they want to see is supposed to come out.
Of course, when I do something, I really do it, so instead of just a casual preview of the big 35 movies of the year, I go all out. You’re gonna get everything as it’s currently scheduled to come out, plus another 200 or so movies that are not dated but are finished and ready to come out, plus another 100 or so that I’ve been tracking from previous years. I dare to say that no one on the internet goes as deep into their coverage as I do.
Today is May.
A psychological thriller about a young married couple who buys a beautiful Napa Valley house on several acres of land only to find that the man they bought it from refuses to let go of the property.
Seems like a standard thriller.
But hey, at least Dennis Quaid is still working.
An animated adventure in which the free-spirited UglyDolls confront what it means to be different, struggle with a desire to be loved, and ultimately discover who you truly are is what matters most.
So this is just bootleg Trolls?
This looks awful.
I’m regretting going that high, but let’s assume I just won’t care, even though it’ll be really bad.
In a world where people collect Pokémon to do battle, a boy comes across an intelligent talking Pikachu who seeks to be a detective.
Let’s start with the rating to force myself to stick to it.
Here’s my thinking — I love Pokemon. Do I care about Detective Pikachu? Not really. Do I think this is gonna be good? Not especially. But, I can’t get my hopes up only to have them ruined.
So we’ll stick with 3 stars and hope the story is good and the Pokemon references work. Maybe I can get 3.5 stars out of this, but I’m not getting my hopes up. This is a tall order.
A remake of the 1988 comedy, ‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrels’, in which two down-and-out con artists engage in a “loser leaves town” contest.
Starring Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson.
It’s solidly on Unforgivable watch.
It was on watch last year when it was supposed to come out and didn’t.
Also, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is, itself, a remake. Just saying.
A musician from Glasgow dreams of becoming a Nashville star.
This is based on absolutely nothing, but 3.5 stars.
I don’t know why. Just a feeling. This just seems like it’s gonna be more solid than the generic log line would suggest.
A Dog’s Journey
A dog finds the meaning of his own existence through the lives of the humans he meets.
Why did we need this? The first one was garbage, they did a spin-off that came out in January, and now a sequel?
I believe I speak for everyone when I say — fuck you.
John Wick: Chapter 3
It’s John Wick. Automatic 4 stars.
The first two were great, why shouldn’t this be any different?
The Sun Is Also a Star
A teenager finds love at a difficult time in her family’s life.
Sounds like a YA movie. Which means flat 3 stars. Maybe it goes higher, maybe it goes lower. Something like this, you can never go wrong with 3 stars.
Astronaut Roy McBride travels to the outer edges of the solar system to find his missing father and unravel a mystery that threatens the survival of our planet.
James Gray’s new movie. They bumped it from January into summer, which means they must be high on it. Stars Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland, John Ortiz, Ruth Negga. They pretty much had me at James Gray.
At worst this is 3.5. I think this could possibly even go higher.
It’s Aladdin, directed by Guy Ritchie. I’m gonna enjoy this at least a little bit.
Dumbo I only gave 3 because I don’t really care about the Dumbo story. At least this, I know they have a framework that works. And Guy Ritchie will put some cool stuff in there that’ll be fun.
I should get 3.5 stars out of this no problem. Typically these Disney remakes only go 4 when the visuals are stunning. This doesn’t seem like it’ll be that. I think Guy Ritchie and the Aladdin story will get us to 3.5 stars. I just hope this isn’t straight garbage.
What if a child from another world crash-landed on Earth, but instead of becoming a hero to mankind, he proved to be something far more sinister?
Love the premise. James Gunn wrote it, which is usually a good sign. The only question is how dark they wanna go with this.
I’m gonna go 3.5 stars with the hope that this can go to 4. I have a feeling this will go higher the more fucked up and less mainstream this is. So let’s not assume this will be that, but let’s also give it a chance to be great.
Oh, I stand corrected. James Gunn did not write this. He just produced it. His brothers wrote it. So almost as good, but not guaranteed to be as weird and interesting. So I feel confident with that 3.5 star guess.
2 academic superstars and best friends who, on the eve of their high school graduation, realize they should have worked less and played more. Determined not to fall short of their peers, the girls try to cram 4 years of fun into 1 night.
Olivia Wilde directs, her feature debut. I feel like that could work. The cast is also really solid, and I feel like she’s been in enough indies that she’ll know how to overcome the obvious tone pitfalls that come with a plot like this.
I’m going 3.5 stars. It’s not gonna be lower than 3. I think she can start off solid.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters
The crypto-zoological agency Monarch faces off against a battery of god-sized monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, who collides with Mothra, Rodan, and his ultimate nemesis, the three-headed King Ghidorah.
I would have gone 3.5 stars just based on that previous movie alone, but the fact that they’re already cramming like five more monsters into this (not to mention tying it into Godzilla vs. Kong)… I can’t assume I’m gonna like this.
So 3 stars.
3.5 stars is the ceiling on this. This is starting to get a Pacific Rim: Uprising vibe, which means 3 stars and we’ll see if it is anything worth writing home about.
The story of Elton John’s life, from his years as a prodigy at the Royal Academy of Music through his influential and enduring musical partnership with Bernie Taupin.
It’s an Elton John biopic. So I’m gonna be interested even if it is terrible.
But why should it be terrible? Dexter Fletcher is directing, and he’s at least 10% responsible for Bohemian Rhapsody (he was brought on to direct the last two weeks of filming and I’m sure was partially in the editing room).
Taron Egerton plays Elton, and that’s a fine choice. In the teaser it sounds like he’s doing his own singing, which can be distracting, since we all know Elton’s voice pretty well. But I can’t imagine this being anything less than decent.
3.5 stars. That has to be the guess. It’s coming out in May, which I’m guessing means they know it’s not a legit Oscar movie or they know it’s got a play for summer movie money and then will push it for Oscars. Still, 3.5 feels like the guess. That seems like it’s what it’ll be. Maybe I can get 4, but that’s it. It should be one or the other for sure.
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