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The 2019 Film Release Calendar: June

New year, new movies.

I begin every new year by taking a look at what movies there are to come out. It helps me to be aware of stuff so I can actively track it throughout the year, and I think it’s helpful for most people who care about movies to at least be informed of what’s going on. Far too often do I talk to my friends who are casually into movies, and they have no idea what’s coming out or when the stuff they want to see is supposed to come out.

Of course, when I do something, I really do it, so instead of just a casual preview of the big 35 movies of the year, I go all out. You’re gonna get everything as it’s currently scheduled to come out, plus another 200 or so movies that are not dated but are finished and ready to come out, plus another 100 or so that I’ve been tracking from previous years. I dare to say that no one on the internet goes as deep into their coverage as I do.

Today is June.

June

Dark Phoenix

Jean Grey begins to develop incredible powers that corrupt and turn her into a Dark Phoenix. Now the X-Men will have to decide if the life of a team member is worth more than all the people living in the world.

It’s X-Men. 3.5 stars is the minimum I will get out of this, unless it’s straight garbage.

Simon Kinberg, who produced and wrote this recent iteration of the franchise, directs. Which means it won’t completely fall off a cliff. Though, it’s gonna be hard to make it particularly good when the last one was rushed and didn’t quite cook all the way and the entire cast looked bored as hell.

This poses an interesting scenario for them, because they could just end the new ones here. Or find a way to merge the timelines (which they did with Days of Future Past, which may have come a few years early, because they had to continue after that to get the most out of the younger actors).

Trailer looks good. I could get 4 stars out of this if they pull it off. We’ll stick with 3.5 stars. This franchise is either running its course or gonna close itself out with grace. We’ll see which it is.

Flarsky

Fred Flarsky, an unemployed journalist battered by his own misfortune, endeavors to pursue his childhood crush and babysitter who now happens to be one of the most powerful and unattainable women on the planet.

Stars Seth Rogen as Flarsky and Charlize Theron as the woman. Also has Andy Serkis, Alexander Skarsgard, Randall Park, O’Shea Jackson Jr., and apparently Boyz II Men as themselves.

I’m torn as to what to do with this. Comedy is so hit or miss for me. But Levine has some solid ones on his resume. He also has a not-so solid one. 50/50 was really good. Warm Bodies was okay. The Night Before was great. Snatched, however… Unforgivable.

It has a legitimate writer on it, and I have to figure with Seth Rogen involved, he’d do rewrites.

So you know what? 3.5 stars. I’m okay if this is a disappointment and is just 3 stars. I should hold some people to higher standards, so I’ll hold Levine and Rogen to them. Because whenever they’ve worked together, it’s been good.

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Don’t need to know anything about this.

2.5 stars.

The first one was barely passable, and it’s Illumination. They’ll ruin whatever the first one had that worked and make it unbearable.

Men in Black International

The Men in Black have always protected the Earth from the scum of the universe. In this new adventure, they tackle their biggest threat to date: a mole in the Men in Black organization.

This franchise is fun. And they’re rebooting it, which allows it to feel fresh again.

I like the leads. I like the supporting people, and F. Gary Gray makes solid movies.

3.5 stars.

I should get that easily. I hope I can get 4. I want this to be awesome. Hopefully the story isn’t as obvious as it seems.

Shaft

John Shaft Jr., a cyber security expert with a degree from MIT, enlists his father’s help to uncover the truth behind his best friend’s untimely death.

Oh good. A Shaft reboot, sequel, whatever you want to call it.

So Richard Roundtree is Shaft. Samuel L. Jackson is his son. And now Jessie T. Usher is his grandson.

Okay, then.

3 stars.

I can’t assume more than 3, as much as I want a Shaft movie to be good. It’ll be 3 star action movie at worst. At best, maybe 3.5 stars, but even then it’ll take a lot to get it there. So let’s stick with 3.

Child’s Play

A mother gives her son a toy doll for his birthday, unaware of its more sinister nature.

Why?

Why did we need this?

2.5 stars.

I don’t see any scenario where this is more than just “sure” for me. So we’ll assume indifference and see if this can be any better than that.

Why do I feel like this isn’t a straight reboot and is instead building to bringing the official movies back to the mainstream?

Grudge

A house is cursed by a vengeful ghost that dooms those who enter it with a violent death.

Okay, a Grudge reboot/remake. Sure.

Directed by Nicolas Pesce, who did Eyes of My Mother and Piercing. Which is interesting… but not interesting enough to make me guess more than 2.5 stars on this. At best I’m getting 3. At best. This does nothing for me at all, even with a director I find intriguing.

Toy Story 4

When a new toy called “Forky” joins Woody and the gang, a road trip alongside old and new friends reveals how big the world can be for a toy.

It’s Pixar, so they get an automatic 4 stars.

Toy Story sequels tend to go a bit higher because of the nostalgia factor, but I truly don’t know what this is gonna be. I can’t imagine this will be bad enough to drop to 3.5, and at best this should be 4.5. I can’t imagine it’ll be a perfect 5. That would make it better than 3, which would be quite the effort for something that doesn’t even need to exist.

We’ll stick with the Pixar standard rating and see where this goes/if this was remotely necessary.

Limited Partners

Two female friends with very different ideals decide to start a beauty company together. One is more practical, while the other wants to earn her fortune and live a lavish lifestyle.

It’s Miguel Arteta, which means an automatic 3 stars.

At best I tolerate his movies. It takes a lot for me to actually like one of them.

Danny Boyle/Richard Curtis Comedy

A struggling musician realizes he’s the only person on Earth who can remember The Beatles.

It’s a Danny Boyle musical written by Richard Curtis. This is already one of the movies I’m most excited for this year.

Stars Lily James, Ana de Armas, Kate McKinnon, Lamorne Morris, Ed Sheeran… wait, really? Oh-kay.

4 stars.

Had I not had that log line, I may have gone 4.5. But Boyle is good for a 3.5 star movie at his worst, and it’s a musical. I can easily get 4 stars out of this. Let’s see if it sets itself apart and goes higher than that.

Ford v. Ferrari

The true story of the battle between Ford and Ferrari to win Le Mans in 1966.

James Mangold directs, coming off Logan. His movies are always good. He hasn’t made a weak one yet. Honestly, his worst movie is 3.5 stars. And he’s got Christian Bale and Matt Damon.

4 stars. How could it not be? I’m all in for this one.

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