Oscars 2018: Razzie Nominations

The Razzie nominations were announced this morning. This will be a nice little diversion from finishing up my Oscar nominations guesses. (It’s done, don’t you worry. It’ll go up within the hour. I just need a moment to breathe and separate myself from it. This article will be a nice way to do that.)

I don’t even think I covered the Razzies last year. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do that, and ultimately I don’t care. But this year, I’m back. I can cover them and feel okay about it.

Actually, let’s look and see what won last year — Emoji Movie, The Mummy… hey look, it’s my Unforgivables list! That’s funny. Baywatch got nominated. Wow, so they basically agreed with me, and then they put on the bullshit nominations designed to get press. Yeah, that sounds like them.

Okay, so let’s see what made it this year.

Worst Picture


The Happytime Murders

Holmes & Watson

Robin Hood


Wow. Doesn’t that seem tame for them? Gotti is so on the nose it’s not even interesting. Happytime Murders… sure. Holmes & Watson was admittedly pretty awful. Had I seen it in time it probably would have had a shot at the Unforgivables list. Robin Hood wasn’t so terrible and doesn’t really make sense here unless you want to nominate the actors, but even then, does that give you press? And Winchester? What the fuck? Very odd choices.

Worst Director

Etan Cohen, Holmes & Watson

Kevin Connolly, Gotti

James Foley, Fifty Shades Freed

Brian Henson, The Happytime Murders

Michael & Peter Spierig, Winchester

I like how they had one difference from Picture just to make it seem like actual voting took place.

What are we doing here?

Worst Actor

Johnny Depp, Sherlock Gnomes

Will Ferrell, Holmes & Watson

John Travolta, Gotti

Donald Trump, Death of a Nation and Fahrenheit 11/9

Bruce Willis, Death Wish

So Donald Trump as President of the United States? Yeah, that tracks.

But… Sherlock Gnomes? What? Just so you could nominate both Depp and Heard? Ferrell makes sense. But Willis? Why? I just don’t get the process here. I’m really regretting my decision to go back to looking at these things.

Worst Actress

Jennifer Garner, Peppermint

Amber Heard, London Fields

Melissa McCarthy, The Happytime Murders

Helen Mirren, Winchester

Amanda Seyfried, The Clapper

I feel like Jennifer Garner and Amanda Seyfried are here just because they don’t like them. Partially Amber Heard too, byt that London Fields nomination is hilarious to me. Completely odd choices. Maybe I was right to avoid the Razzies. They’ve jumped whatever shark you could jump for something that is meant to satirize Hollywood.

Worst Supporting Actor

Jamie Foxx, Robin Hood

Ludacris, Show Dogs

Joel McHale, The Happytime Murders

John C. Reilly, Holmes & Watson

Justice Smith, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Where did the Justice Smith pull come from/ What? Who on that voting committee had it out for him? And not the rest of that piece of shit movie? Ludacris admittedly was so badly miscast in that very not good movie. But also, Supporting Actor? It’s HIS movie!

You know what these awards remind me of?

That’s how I’m feeling right now.

Worst Supporting Actress

Kellyanne Conway, Fahrenheit 11/9

Marcia Gay Harden, Fifty Shades Freed

Kelly Preston, Gotti

Jaz Sinclair, Slender Man

Melania Trump, Fahrenheit 11/9

Slender Man? Why? Seriously, why? And Marcia Gay Harden? Who even remembers she’s in those movies, let alone enough to nominate her? I feel like these people don’t watch enough movies to properly vote for stuff. You think people are gonna care about Marcia Gay Harden? You already got the clicks on Conway and Trump. I just don’t get this.

Worst Screenplay

Death of a Nation

Fifty Shades Freed


The Happytime Murders



Worst Screen Combo

Any Two Actors or Puppets, The Happytime Murders

Johnny Depp & His Fast-Fading Film Career, Sherlock Gnomes

Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly, Holmes & Watson

Kelly Preston & John Travolta, Gotti

Donald J. Trump & His Self Perpetuating Pettiness, Death of a Nation & Fahrenheit 11/9

I forget that they just take shots at people at this part.

Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel

Death of a Nation

Death Wish

Holmes & Watson

Robin Hood


– – – – – – – – –

This reminded me how much I just complain and get upset when I look at these nominations because there’s no coherence or purpose to them. If I can help it, this will be the last time I ever cover these awards on this site. I’ll tell you right now, I’m not going back to talk about who won. Don’t care. I’m done. Until these awards go back to being fun, I don’t care about them.

Nominations article is up within the hour.


One response

  1. One good thing about these nominations is that it reminded me that the Oscar nominations are tomorrow.

    January 21, 2019 at 12:17 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.