2019: The Year in Reviews (Films That Didn’t Get Released)
Now that we’ve gone over everything that came out this year, it’s time to go over the stuff that didn’t.
Of course not everything you track is gonna come out. Stuff gets pushed, stuff never gets picked up… shit happens.
I do this article mainly so I can keep track of what’s still left to come out, so I can organize the 2020 Release Calendar and figure out which movies are gonna roll over and which I’m just gonna let go.
So here’s all the 2019 films that weren’t released:
A Christmas Carol
January’s preview:
“Apparently this is not a Scrooge movie, but is about someone named Carol.”
“It’s animated. And Carey Mulligan, Andy Serkis, Martin Freeman, Daniel Kaluuya and Leslie Caron (!) are doing voices for it.”
“No clue what this is, so I’ll have to say 3 stars.”
Status:
No clue. It’s animated, so I guess it makes sense it’s not ready yet. But I have to imagine it comes out sometime end of next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure. If only for that cast.
Above Suspicion
January’s preview:
“Solid enough for me.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
It’s been done, but no release. This feels like it’ll come out on VOD in the first half of 2020.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
All Day and a Night
January’s preview:
“So like, Tell-Tale Heart? Or just like, aftermath of killing someone, waiting for the police to come?”
“3 stars, I guess. Don’t know what to make of this.”
“It’s on Netflix, which means it’ll probably be 3. These kinds of movies are almost exclusively 3 stars.”
“And it’s from one of the Black Panther writers, if that means anything to anyone.”
Status:
It’s Netflix, which means it’ll probably come out sometime next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
All Rise
January’s preview:
“3 stars. Cast is still the cast. I’m sure it’s fine.”
Status:
Played Sundance but never came out. Which means it should come out next year unless something is very wrong with it.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
All the Bright Places
January’s preview:
“It’s gonna be either 3 or 3.5 stars. I’m still not sure which way to go with it.”
“Oh, I read a synopsis of the book. 3 stars. It’s YA. Those have to actively win me over. Plus, his other movies were only 3 stars to me, so let’s keep this at 3 and see if he elevates his standard rating up to a 3.5.”
Status:
Netflix. February 28th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
American Woman
January’s preview:
“This is about the women who kidnapped Patty Hearst. Sarah Gadon, Lola Kirke and Hong Chau star, and Ellen Burstyn is in it.”
“3.5 stars. Let’s do this.”
Status:
So I messed up and watching a different movie with this title this year, thinking I had tracked it. This one never came out. But with that cast, I assume it’ll be out next year. It played both Tribeca and Toronto.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
An Officer and a Spy
January’s preview:
“Roman Polanski’s Dreyfus Affair movie. He’s wanted to make this for years.”
“His movies have fallen off a bit in recent years. But this is a passion project but should hopefully be good.”
“3.5 stars.”
Status:
It only just came out abroad. Apparently Polanski movies don’t play domestic anymore. It took two years for his last one to make it over. I’m guessing this one won’t be like that, but still. I should definitely be able to see this next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Ana
January’s preview:
“Stars Andy Garcia and Dafne Keen.”
“Seems like an indie, but I like the two of them, so 3 stars. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Status:
This is coming out on January 3rd on VOD, apparently.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Antlers
January’s preview:
“Horror movie, but it’s Scott Cooper, and his movies have all exclusively been 4 stars to this point.”
“At this point, I don’t even care what it is, because the rating is for the director. At worst this will be 3.5 stars, but Cooper has proven himself to be a 4 star director, so he gets what he’s earned.”
Status:
Dated for April 17th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on April’s release calendar.
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
January’s preview:
“This hasn’t shot yet and will almost certainly not come out.”
“That said — please make this movie. I know it’ll probably be terrible, but if you tell it the right way, it can be okay. The problem is making it a continuous narrative and not the anthologies that the show was. That’s where you fall into the traps. That said, please do this. My life isn’t any worse without it, and it won’t be worse with it. There’s no way it’ll be anything other than ‘meh’.”
“Still don’t think this comes out this year, because it hasn’t shot yet. But 3 stars in case it does. Gotta give it the Goosebumps rating to start until it shows me otherwise.”
Status:
Apparently they turned it into a miniseries instead of a feature, because that came out. But there’s still a feature listed. So I don’t know. Let’s assume it’s not happening at this point.
Will I keep tracking it?: No. Gotta see it actively get a director and cast before I ever bother with it.
Arkansas
January’s preview:
“Sounds fun to me.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
No update on this. Seems like it’ll be picked up for VOD at best.
Will I keep tracking it?: I almost said no and then I realized Vince Vaughn is playing a drug dealer named Frog. So fuck yes.
Artemis Fowl
January’s preview:
“Branagh doing studio stuff like this makes me automatically think 3 stars.”
Status:
Dated for May 29th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on May’s release calendar.
Ava
January’s preview:
“It’s Jessica Chastain getting a movie where she gets to kick some ass. And Colin Farrell and John Malkovich are in it. AND Geena Davis and Common.”
“Given the writer (and former director) of this movie has made two solid films so far, and its current director (Tate Taylor) has made solid films (The Help, Get on Up, Girl on the Train), I can easily say 3.5 stars for this.”
“I hope this is more than 3.5. Not gonna assume it, but I hope it is.”
Status:
It’s done, so it’s just a matter of when they’re gonna put it out. It feels like a late summer, early fall kinda VOD, maybe limited release.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Bad Education
January’s preview:
“I’m very in.”
“4 stars.”
Status:
HBO payed a fuck ton of money for this at Toronto, I’m guessing to put it on HBO Max for when that drops. So I’m thinking, unless they wanna make an awards play for this in September/October of next year, look for it in May or June once HBO Max drops.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Banker
January’s preview:
“Oh, so this isn’t a thriller. That’s nice.”
“Let’s call it 3.5 stars, even though this could fail miserably. I’m rooting for this to be good.”
Status:
This was supposed to come out limited a few weeks ago and go on Apple TV+ on January 31st, but some scandal involving the son of the main character in real life made them delay it. So I’m thinking they’ll quietly put this out sometime next year once shit blows over. Hell, the Felicity Huffman thing only made Netflix delay her movie like three weeks in all. I’m sure they’ll do something similar to this.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Benedetta
January’s preview:
“It’s Paul Verhoeven, in case you were worried about that synopsis. He’s one of the few people who could pull off a plot like this.”
“3 stars.”
“Not sure I’m gonna like it, but Verhoeven makes worthwhile movies, even when they suck.”
Status:
It’s Verhoeven. Thought maybe it would be done for this year, but it’s not. So this should for sure come out/hit a big festival or two next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Bergman Island
January’s preview:
“Sounds like fun.”
“Haven’t seen her other movies (or maybe I’ve seen one and don’t remember it), so I have to say 3 stars and hope it’s better. But still, I wanna see this.”
Status:
No update. Guess they didn’t finish it yet.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure.
Big Time Adolescence
January’s preview:
“Playing Sundance. Looks like a standard indie.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
Nothing since Sundance. Usually means some VOD pickup at some point.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure, but only one more year. Then I’m leaving it up to fate.
Blackbird
January’s preview:
“I mean, I have no reason, with all of that, to not guess 3.5 stars. Maybe it’ll only be 3, but I have enough here to expect it to be solid enough that it can get to 3.5 stars.”
Status:
Played festivals, but no release. Guessing it’ll be picked up for some mid-year release next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Boss Level
January’s preview:
“So Groundhog Day, but with action. Or Edge of Tomorrow without the aliens.”
“Mel Gibson stars, so on that alone, 3.5 stars. Plus Michelle Yeoh, Naomi Watts, Frank Grillo.”
“If I don’t get 3.5 stars out of this, I’m gonna be really disappointed.”
Status:
This was supposed to come out in like May or June and then they suddenly pulled it without saying anything. Which probably means it’s really bad and they’re reshooting a bunch of it. I can’t imagine it doesn’t come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Brother’s Keeper
January’s preview:
“Football movie. Okay. Laurence Fishburne is in it. Cool, cool. Oh, but he’s not the coach. So that’s not as cool.”
“3 stars. Even if they’re bad, they’re fine. Unless this is gonna be a religious movie, which it doesn’t appear to be.”
Status:
No update. Guessing 2020.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure.
Buffaloed
January’s preview:
“Let’s call it 3 stars. Sounds like it’ll be fine, but I’m not sure the likelihood of this getting over the hump to 3.5 stars.”
Status:
Just got picked up for a 2020 release. Allegedly Valentine’s Day
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes. Probably will be on the February release calendar.
Burden
January’s preview:
“This played Sundance last year and still hasn’t come out. Which probably tells me everything I need to know about it.”
“Cast is nice, but the holdover and lack of distributer means I can’t guess more than 3 stars.”
Status:
It’s dated for February 28th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
The Call of the Wild
January’s preview:
“Oh, but like… the Clark Gable movie from 1935? Okay, then. You have my attention.”
“I’m so in for this.”
“4 stars. Probably should go 3.5, but it’s an arctic adventure movie with Harrison Ford. I’m so fucking in for this. Bring it on.”
“And it’s directed by the Croods and How to Train Your Dragon and Lilo & Stitch guy. I’m so fucking fascinated by all of this and I cannot wait to see this movie.”
Status:
Dated for February 21st.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
Chaos Walking
January’s preview:
“Doug Liman directs. Tom Holland, Daisy Ridley, Cynthia Erivo, Mads Mikkelsen, Nick Jonas, Demian Bichir, Ray McKinnon and David Oyelowo star. And it was written by the guy who wrote A Monster Calls. And the script was punched up by John Lee Hancock and Charlie Kaufman. There’s class all over this movie.”
“However… it’s based on a book series, which is usually not a good sign, and it’s coming out in March. Hard to assume 4 stars with something like that. The Cloverfield Paradox had a cast. Cast doesn’t mean everything. Doug Liman also usually means good things, but he also made Jumper.”
“The synopsis sounds a little YA novel-y, so I’m gonna go 3.5 stars with this one. Maybe I get to 4 and I’m pleasantly surprised, maybe it sucks and I only get 3. 3.5 seems like the easy baseline for this one.”
Status:
They pulled it and ordered massive reshoots on it. If it doesn’t come out this year then they’re writing this off hardcore, know it’s shitty, and will dump it in Spring 2021. There’s no other option. They’re gonna have to bite the bullet on this sometime. The sooner they release it the more they think they’ve salvaged it.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Critical Thinking
January’s preview:
“John Leguizamo directed this and stars. Dito Montiel wrote it. Michael K. Williams is in it.”
“That’s great. I’m in for this.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Johnny Legs directed this. Of course.
Cut Throat City
January’s preview:
“Directed by RZA. Aww shit.”
“This looks fun as hell.”
“3.5 stars.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: RZA directed this. Shit yeah.
The Devil Has a Name
January’s preview:
“Edward James Olmos directs. And I like it when actors direct, so I’ll see this.”
“3 stars. Can’t imagine this will be a masterpiece, but it sounds totally watchable.”
Status:
Played one small festival. Have to think someone will pick it up for VOD next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Dhaka
January’s preview:
“Sounds like a standard action movie.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
It’s Netflix. It’ll come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Diary
January’s preview:
“Jackie Chan wrote and directs. But also Kevin Kline is in it. Maybe it’ll be okay?”
“3 stars.”
Status:
It’ll come out next year in China, so there’s that.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Dolittle
January’s preview:
“Supposed to come out in January, but I feel like they might try to sneak this in as Oscar bait at the end of the year. For effects and stuff. It feels like a Christmas movie.”
“Stephen Gaghan directs, which is odd. Since he wrote Traffic and directed Syriana. But hey, a director should be able to handle multiple genres.”
“Let’s say 3.5 stars n all the people involved and hope the star and director can keep it solid. If not, it’s just 3 stars and generic family friendly nonsense.”
Status:
Out January 17th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Don’t Tell a Soul
January’s preview:
“3 stars. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: …. okay. One more year only though.
The Dougherty Gang
January’s preview:
“3 stars. Sounds fine.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Dreamland
January’s preview:
“I think I’m safe to go 3.5 stars on this. Looks fun. Hope it’s better than 3.5, but unproven director, no idea what I’m gonna get.”
Status:
So there are gonna be two movies with this title now. One by Nick Jarecki. This isn’t that one. This is the Margot Robbie one. So that’ll be confusing next year. Let’s see which one blinks and retitles itself first.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Echo Boomers
January’s preview:
“It’s supposed to start shooting this month. Hopefully it will and I won’t regret my decision to track it this year. Still, it’s a heist movie and it has Michael Shannon in it. So I’m already in.”
“3 stars. Doubt it’ll come out this year, but I’m ready for it.”
Status:
They actually shot this. Interesting.
Will I keep tracking it?: Michael Shannon is in it, I’ll see it.
The Education of Fredrik Fitzell
January’s preview:
“Stars Dylan O’Brien and Maika Monroe. I like her and will watch her in just about anything.”
(Apparently I never actually guessed a rating for it. Which worked out.)
Status:
Looks like they’re prepping it for SXSW.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Elyse
January’s preview:]
“Sure.”
“2.5 stars.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes. Anthony Hopkins is in it.
Emperor
January’s preview:
“Producer directing his first film.”
“I’m always worried about something like this. Let’s say 3 stars. Shouldn’t go lower than that, but not sure this one can go much higher.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
End of Sentence
January’s preview:
“Stars John Hawkes. And that’s all I need.”
“Gonna say 3 stars, because while I like his indies, I prefer the crime indies. This seems like a standard road trip movie. So we’ll stick with 3 and see if this differentiates itself.”
Status:
This may have come out in Iceland already? How much do I wanna believe that? Either way, I suspect this’ll come out in some form next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Endings, Beginnings
January’s preview:
“Drake Doremus likes high concept romance movies.”
“And they’re always 3 stars, outside of Like Crazy. So let’s just stick with that.”
Status:
Doremus movies always come out, even when they’re not so great.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Endless
January’s preview:
“I like movies like this.”
“Though the director has made shitty thrillers, so I can’t expect too much from it.”
“Still, 3 stars on concept alone. If I get 2.5, I can live with it. But this sounds like it could be a premise you can do something with.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: I am less positive on this than I was in January, but sure.
Eternal Beauty
January’s preview:
“Sounds fun.”
“3.5 stars.”
Status:
This should come out in the UK next year for sure.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Fonzo
January’s preview:
“Tom Hardy is playing Al Capone. Directed by the guy who did Fantastic Four. I mean, sure.”
“Hopefully he pulls it off. Not really sure what to make of this. Looking at it from the angle I have, I’ll say 3.5 stars.”
Status:
Guessing they’re just prepping it for next awards season and hopefully it’s not that it’s bad.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The French Dispatch
January’s preview:
“It’s Wes Anderson. 4.5 stars, sight unseen.”
“The worst he goes is 4 stars.”
“It used to be a musical but apparently isn’t anymore. I’d have gone 5 if it were a musical.”
“When has Wes Anderson let us down? I kinda want to go 5 here, but let’s keep him honest. There’s no guarantee it even comes out this year. They like releasing his stuff in March anyway. But I don’t wanna be caught not having it on my list, so here we are.”
Status:
This is 100% coming out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Friendsgiving
January’s preview:
“3 stars. I think this can be fun.”
Status:
I’m guessing they’ll VOD this closer to Thanksgiving next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Gentlemen
January’s preview:
“Guy Ritchie. Yeah, boy. Finally getting back to his crime roots.”
“It’s Guy Ritchie doing crime again after studio work for like, a decade. I’m in.”
“4 stars. I know that’s aiming high, but I’m excited.”
Status:
January 24th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Georgetown
January’s preview:
“Directed by and starring Christoph Waltz.”
“I like it when actors direct. Let’s call it 3.5 stars. I hope it’s worth it.”
Status:
Played Tribeca, then no real update. Feels like a September VOD movie. That’s just my gut.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Glorias
January’s preview:
“Julie Taymor is directing. Julianne Moore is old Gloria, Alicia Vikander is young Gloria. Janelle Monae is Dorothy Pitman Hughes.”
“Honestly the part I’m most interested in is the Julie Taymor of it all. She is a 3.5 star director at minimum. Kinda hoping this is 4 stars, so let’s go with that.”
Status:
It’s playing Sundance, so it’ll come out this year and they’re gonna see how it lands so they can see how to position it later in the year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Gretel and Hansel
January’s preview:
“It’s by Oz Perkins. He made one solid movie, one not so solid movie. So let’s split the difference and say 3 stars.”
Status:
January 31st.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Greyhound
January’s preview:
“Tom Hanks wrote the script and stars. That’s really the big thing to note here.”
“Honestly, I’m going 3.5 stars…. I think I could get 4 stars out of this, but 3.5 seems most likely. Hanks has written two other movies: That Thing You Do and Larry Crowne. So let’s split the difference and go 3.5. I think it’ll either be 3 or 3.5.”
Status:
Dated May 8th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on May’s release calendar.
Grudge
January’s preview:
“Okay, a Grudge reboot/remake. Sure.”
“Directed by Nicolas Pesce, who did Eyes of My Mother and Piercing. Which is interesting… but not interesting enough to make me guess more than 2.5 stars on this. At best I’m getting 3. At best. This does nothing for me at all, even with a director I find intriguing.”
Status:
Coming out January 3rd.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Guest of Honor
January’s preview:
“No idea what it’s about, but it’s Atom Egoyan, which is something.”
“Let’s say 3 stars? No clue what to make of this.”
Status:
Played a bunch of festivals, which means it should come out somewhere next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Halo of Stars
January’s preview:
“WHAT? Is that what this has been about the whole time? Oh my god, I’m so glad I know this now.”
“Bring this movie ON.”
“I assume it’ll only be 3 stars. But still, bring it on.”
Status:
No update, which is never good for a movie like this.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’s about a traveling circus clown. I have to.
Here Are the Young Men
January’s preview:
“Sounds okay.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
This feels like it’ll come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Hope Gap
January’s preview:
“Okay then.”
“3.5 stars. Let’s do this.”
Status:
Possibly dated March 6th. Which means that even if that isn’t legit, it’ll come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
How to Build a Girl
January’s preview:
“Okay then.”
“3 stars. No idea what to make of this. Cast is okay though.”
Status:
Played Toronto, so it should come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Human Capital
January’s preview:
“Written by Oren Moverman, who has written some cool stuff.”
“Not sure what the tone of this is. Cast leads me to believe 3 stars is the guess. Otherwise I don’t really have a whole lot to go by.”
Status:
Gotta come out next year with that cast.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Hunt
January’s preview:
“No idea what this is gonna be, and it hasn’t even been shot yet, so odds are this doesn’t come out. That said, 3 stars. Can’t assume anything more without any sort of synopsis or anything.”
“Doubt this comes out, but I’d rather have it in case it does.”
Status:
They pulled it because of school shootings or something. People complained. So I don’t know when/if this’ll come out.
Will I keep tracking it?: I’ll give it one more year before I assume they’re never putting this out.
I Am Woman
January’s preview:
“3 stars. Hope it’s better, don’t know what I’m getting. Writer did Mary Shelley, which was 3 stars. So let’s figure more of the same, I guess.”
Status:
Premiered at Toronto, which means I assume at least an Australian release next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
I’m Thinking of Ending Things
January’s preview:
“Charlie Kaufman’s next movie. At least one of the last ones didn’t work out, but they just announced a cast for this, so I am hopeful it shoots soon and maybe even comes out this year. Maybe I can try to will it into existence by covering it. No idea.”
“4″ stars.
“I just want Charlie Kaufman to make more movies.”
Status:
It’ll be out on Netflix next year. And I’m fucking stoked.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Imaginary Order
January’s preview:
“K.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
It’s playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Ironbark
January’s preview:
“3.5 stars. Cold War spy movie. Have to. Sounds more on the boring end than the fun end, but screw it. Cold War spy shit.”
Status:
It’s playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Jesus Rolls
January’s preview:
“I still don’t know what the fuck this is gonna be.”
“Turturro wrote and directed and it’s based on a 70s movie.”
“Honestly, 3.5 stars. Screw it. Let’s go in on this movie. What’s the worst that can happen? Turturro’s movies are usually weird and interesting. So the conceit will just get more eyeballs on it. I still expect an entertaining movie.”
Status:
This got picked up for release this year. I’d expect this somewhere in the middle of the year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Judy and Punch
January’s preview:
“I feel like I wanna go 3.5 stars on this. That just sounds insane. Could be stupid, but whatever. Can’t be right about everything.”
Status:
Played a bunch of festivals and came out in the UK last month. So it’ll be out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Jungleland
January’s preview:
“I mean, it sounds like 3 stars.”
Status:
Played Toronto. So probably next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Kajillionaire
January’s preview:
“Well that sounds fun.”
“3.5 stars.”
“Bring it on, Miranda July.”
Status:
Playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Kindness of Strangers
January’s preview:
“Sounds too New York indie to go higher than 3 stars, but she’s a solid director. So maybe.”
Status:
Just came out abroad, so it should be out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The King’s Man
January’s preview:
“I can’t imagine this ends up coming out, but it’s possible they shoot it and it comes out. So on the off chance it does, 3.5 stars. Otherwise, it feels unlikely we see this in 2019.”
Status:
Dated September 18th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on September’s release calendar.
The Last Days of American Crime
January’s preview:
“So the idea is that people are going on a crime spree before this thing kicks in? The twist is gonna be that it doesn’t work, right?”
“The director did Transporter 3, Taken 2 and Taken 3, so this automatically becomes a 3 star action movie.”
Sometimes it’s just that easy.
Status:
Has to be out next year with that director. Late August, maybe?
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Last Full Measure
January’s preview:
“War movie.”
“And damn, look at this cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Sebastian Stan, Bradley Whitford, Ed Harris, Christopher Plummer, William Hurt, Peter Fonda.”
“I should go 3.5 on the cast alone, but I feel like I know what this tone is, so 3 stars. The director hasn’t made anything of note, and it just feels like one of those movies that will be too sentimental to be good. You know, for your uncle who fought in Korea and really respects the values he learned in the Marine Corps. Which is fine, just… those movies don’t rate too highly for me is all.”
Status:
Out day and date January 24th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
The Last Thing He Wanted
January’s preview:
“Mudbound was good. This looks like a thriller. 3.5 stars seems like the guess. They’ll push it for awards but my guess is it’ll just be fine.”
Status:
It’ll be out on Netflix next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Life in a Year
January’s preview:
“Oh yeah, the Fault in Our Stars ripoff with Jaden Smith and Cara Delevingne.”
“2.5 stars.”
Status:
It’s done, they just haven’t put it out, which tells you everything you need to know about it.
Will I keep tracking it?: No. I’m leaving a 2.5 star rating for when it does (because it will). I just don’t wanna have excess shit on my list of things to track. I’m aware of this, and that’s enough.
Like a Boss
January’s preview:
“It’s Miguel Arteta, which means an automatic 3 stars.”
“At best I tolerate his movies. It takes a lot for me to actually like one of them.”
Status:
January 10th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
The Lodge
January’s preview:
“3 stars. But only because of the director. Otherwise I’d have assumed 2.5.”
Status:
Dated February 7th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
Lost Girls
January’s preview:
“Cast is good. Plot sounds too serious for something I’d like.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
Playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Lost Girls and Love Hotels
January’s preview:
“I’m over this.”
“2.5 stars.”
Status:
Still no update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Nope. Done. 2.5 stars in case it ever comes out.
Lost Transmissions
January’s preview:
“Cast is enough to say 3 stars. Not sure if it’s anything more than that.”
Status:
Played festivals, but nothing since. So that means VOD sometime.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure.
Magic Camp
January’s preview:
“Sounds like a dumb kids movie.”
“The fact that this has yet to come out is probably not a good sign.”
“2.5 stars.”
Status:
Disney+ sometime in 2020. Thinking first three months.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Medieval
January’s preview:
“Ben Foster is in this? Michael Caine? What?”
“I gotta say 3 stars on those two alone. But it doesn’t look great.”
Status:
Still can’t believe this exists. But no, no update. Feels like an easy VOD movie. May, maybe?
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Misbehaviour
January’s preview:
“Is this a heist movie?”
“Oh, no, it’s a message movie. The director did The Crown and real stuff.”
“Okay, 3.5 stars I guess. I mean, that’s the kind of film they built, so let’s hope it’s good.”
Status:
Out in March in the UK, which means next year for sure.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Monster Hunter
January’s preview:
“Based on a video game. And Paul W.S. Anderson is gonna direct it. Oh, so he moved on from Resident Evil and now this is his new thing? Probably means this comes out early 2020, right?”
“Where does he get the budgets for these movies?”
“3 stars. You know it’ll be bad-watchable. They always are.”
Status:
Dated September 4th.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Mope
January’s preview:
“Oh yeah, the porno murder movie.”
“Sure.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
Played Sundance last year, but nothing since. Thinking because of the subject matter. Feels like a OD movie next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Mr. Jones
January’s preview:
“Okay.”
“3 stars. The kind of movie that’s fine, but like… why do I wanna watch this? That’s how these usually go for me.”
Status:
Out in the UK February 7th, so that means next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Music
January’s preview:
“Did you guys know Sia directed a movie?”
“I have to say 3 stars, but I want to go 3.5 on gut instinct. But she’s never done any of this stuff before, so I have no clue what I’m getting. So let’s assume 3 and see if it can be better. You gotta figure it only can go up from 3, right?”
Status:
No update. But fucking Sia directed this.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
My Spy
January’s preview:
“Oh, fun. Dave Bautista and kids.”
“3 stars. These movies are usually so dumb they’re fine.”
Status:
Dated March 13th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on March’s release calendar.
My Zoe
January’s preview:
“Julie Deply movie. These are almost exclusively 3 stars.”
Status:
Played Toronto, which means probably next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Naya Legend of the Golden Dolphin
January’s preview:
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“The cast is nuts, which means Chinese money.”
“2.5 stars. This sounds baaaaad. And yet, I will watch it. Because I am dumb.”
Status:
They updated the IMDB date to 2022. Which means I’m out.
Will I keep tracking it?: Nope. 2.5 stars, for the effort.
Needle in a Timestack
January’s preview:
“First off, plot sounds amazing. Second, is Rachel McAdams in this? She seems to love movies where she’s wedded to time travelers.”
“This was written and directed by John Ridley. So that’s nice.”
“Let’s call it 3.5 stars. I want this to be really good.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Nest
January’s preview:
“It sounds more Long Day’s Journey Into Night than horror. Which is good.”
“Cast is great. Jude Law and Carrie Coon as the leads.”
“Shit, I want to go 4 stars on this, but I know I should go 3.5 stars. But anything that makes me think it has the chance or is aspiring to be a sort of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? will only go well for me, I think.”
Status:
Playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
New Mutants
January’s preview:
“Something tells me they went for something unique and interesting with this, and the studio got skittish and through all the reshoots they beat anything that could be interesting out of this movie.”
“My guess is they were trying to make it contained horror movie that could branch out into X-Men, a la Split, but I feel like these reshoots are not promising for what the finished product is gonna be.”
“3 stars has to be the guess. Maybe I can get 3.5 out of this, but unlikely.”
Status:
Dated April 3rd.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on April’s release calendar.
The Night Clerk
January’s preview:
“Tye Sheridan, Ana de Armas, Helen Hunt, John Leguizamo. Okay, then. I like this cast.”
“Feels like an erotic thriller though, so let’s say it’s only 3 stars. Love that cast, though.”
“Oh, wait, this sounds like a noir. Fuck it. 3.5 stars. Let’s do it.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Now Is Everything
January’s preview:
“Is this Blowup?”
“Let’s say it’s a generic 3 star action thriller. Feels like it. Might be 2.5, but it’ll be one or the other.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure. One more year.
Once Upon a Time in Staten Island
January’s preview:
“I feel like I’m gonna enjoy this.”
“3.5 stars.”
“I really feel like I’m gonna enjoy this.”
“Also, for everyone who knows me very well… what are the odds that I said this eight years ago?”
Status:
No update. But I assume next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Ordinary Love
January’s preview:
“Liam Neeson and Lesley Manville star. That’s good.”
“Let’s call it 3 stars. Could be better, let’s assume just okay.”
Status:
February 14th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
The Outpost
January’s preview:
“Oh fun, another Afghan war movie.”
“But it’s directed by Rod Lurie, which is at least intriguing. The Contender is great, The Last Castle is very good, and I love Nothing But the Truth. Straw Dogs wasn’t a great idea. Let’s assume this is fine.”
“The cast doesn’t inspire me to go any higher than 3 stars, though.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Percy
January’s preview:
“Starring Christopher Walken. Aww shit.”
“3.5 stars. I’m down for a real Christopher Walken movie. Maybe I’m aiming too high, but I need more Walken in my life.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Personal History of David Copperfield
January’s preview:
“Directed by Armando Iannucci.”
“Well that changes everything.”
“4 stars.”
“Bring. It. On.”
Status:
May 8th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on May’s release calendar.
Radioactive
January’s preview:
“Cool.”
“Rosamund Pike is Marie and Sam Riley is Pierre. Anya-Taylor Joy is also in it. I’m in.”
“3.5 stars.”
Status:
I think Amazon has this to put out next year, which means it’ll definitely come out.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Rams
January’s preview:
“Sam Neill stars, and I’m in.”
“3.5 stars. Might only be 3, but I feel like these feud movies are always fun. Like Jim Sheridan’s The Field and stuff like that.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Remember Me
January’s preview:
“2.5 stars. I watch them, but I don’t necessarily like them.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Can’t. Too superfluous. 2.5 stars in case I see it.
Resistance
January’s preview:
“Feels like a 3 star movie.”
Status:
Feels like next year on this.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Rhythm Section
January’s preview:
“Well yeah, this sounds like a 3 star action movie, doesn’t it?”
“Also stars Jude Law and directed by Reed Morano, who just did I Think We’re Alone Now.”
“So yeah, I’m getting 3 stars out of this.”
Status:
Coming out January 31st.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
The Roads Not Taken
January’s preview:
“Let’s say 3.5 stars, I guess? It’ll be 3 or 3.5, I’m thinking. Cast is nice, so let’s go higher.”
Status:
Dated March 13th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on March’s release calendar.
Ruin
January’s preview:
“3.5 stars. Honestly, wanna go 4, but I’ll stick with 3.5 because I feel like it might not even come out this year (if it even shoots).”
Status:
They haven’t shot this yet. I’ll check in when I get to looking at next year’s films. If it’s not shooting by then I’ll drop it, because I’ve seen far too many of these films fall apart.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes/no.
Saturday at the Starlight
January’s preview:
“3 stars. I think I can just get enough out of this to go 3.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: No. Been too long on this. 3 stars, just in case. But I’m over it.
The Secret
January’s preview:
“Oh no, really?”
“And it’s on Netflix?”
“2.5 stars.”
“This is one step away from ‘religious movie’.”
Status:
Dated April 17th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on April’s release calendar.
Sergio
January’s preview:
“Netflix surfing biopic. Yeah…”
“3 stars.”
Status:
Netflix, so it’ll come out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Sonic the Hedgehog
January’s preview:
“No idea what this is gonna be but 3 stars has to be the guess. It should have enough money behind it that it should be able to be 3 stars, even if it’s dog shit. Plus it’s Sonic. How horrible can it be? Jim Carrey as Robotnik is a great idea. I’m ready for this. I’m sure it’ll be bad. What else can it be? As long as it’s watchable, I’m sure I’ll be fine with it.
“Status:
Dated February 14th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
Standing Up, Falling Down
January’s preview:
“3 stars, I guess? Could get 3.5 out of this, but I don’t know what this is gonna be, tonally.”
Status:
Played a bunch of festivals but no release date yet.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Stargirl
January’s preview:
“Looks fun, I guess.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
It’ll be out on Disney+ next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Summerland
January’s preview:
“First time director. Stars Gemma Arterton, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Tom Courtenay, Penelope Wilton… good enough to go 3 stars. Not sure there’s enough to automatically say 3.5.”
Status:
No update, but I imagine next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Sunlit Night
January’s preview:
“3 stars. Sounds fine.”
Status:
Played Sundance last year but nothing since.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure.
Superintelligence
January’s preview:
“Oh, it’s a Melissa McCarthy movie.”
“2 stars.”
“Directed by her husband, starring her. These have been uniformly Unforgivable all the way through.”
Status:
HBO Max picked it up, which probably means it’s dropping in May when they launch.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Sweetness in the Belly
January’s preview:
“3 stars. Sounds whatever.”
Status:
Played Toronto, which probably means next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Synchronic
January’s preview:
“The new Benson and Moorehead film. LOVE Spring and The Endless was very good.”
“Sounds like Bringing Out the Dead, doesn’t it?”
“But whatever. 3.5 stars. Love their stuff.”
Status:
Looks like next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes
The Tax Collector
January’s preview:
“No idea what this is about, but there are images of Shia LaBeouf all tatted up for it. And it’s David Ayer, who makes good movies when he isn’t making movies about orcs.”
“3.5 stars. Hopefully he gets back to his roots. We’ll see.”
Status:
No update. I can’t imagine it’s not out next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Three Christs
January’s preview:
“It played Toronto in 2017 and has no release date in sight. I guess I’ll see if it comes out this year and after this just leave it to the list.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
Out on VOD January 3rd.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Tigertail
January’s preview:
“The question is if this is an Avalon kind of story or not. And on that hope, I will say 3.5 stars.”
Status:
Netflix. So next year for sure.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Timmy Failure
January’s preview:
“Directed by Tom McCarthy. His first movie after Spotlight. Not sure anyone could have seen that one coming.”
“It’s Tom McCarthy, though. His movies are usually really good. But it’s a kids movie, so 3 stars. I have to assume 3 and see if it can go higher.”
Status:
Disney+ is gonna put this out pretty early on next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You
January’s preview:
“I’ll say 3 stars on the sequel drop, but I hope this can be as good as the first one.”
Status:
Dated February 12th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on February’s release calendar.
To the Stars
January’s preview:
“I guess 3 stars, on the indie factor. Maybe it can be good though.”
Status:
Played Sundance, other festivals, but nothing yet.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Tonight at Noon
January’s preview:
“Michael Almeredya directs. He usually makes watchable movies.”
“Though I do feel like they never amount to as much as one would hope for me.”
“3 stars, despite the high concept. Marjorie Prime was just okay. Experimenter I liked, but still was just okay for me. So let’s figure more of the same.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Troop Zero
January’s preview:
“Sounds fun.”
“3.5 stars. Might just be 3 stars and really on the nose, but fuck it. Misfits coming together to make something usually goes over well with me. And Viola Davis isn’t usually just in anything.”
Status:
Out January 17th on Amazon Prime.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
The True Adventures of Wolfboy
January’s preview:
“like movies like this. The question is how sentimental it’ll be.”
“3 stars. Have to figure that as a baseline and see if it can go any higher. Cast lets me think it could, but I can’t just assume it.”
Status:
No real updates.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure.
The True History of the Kelly Gang
January’s preview:
“Works for me.”
“3.5 stars.”
Status:
Played Toronto and dated abroad all next year. It’ll be out.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The Turning
January’s preview:
“3 stars. This sounds like it’s gonna go the standard generic horror route. But, the cast is good, so I have to go 3 and just be disappointed when this is invariably a horror movie I don’t care about at all. If I can get 3 stars out of this I’ll feel like I snuck one past the goalie.”
Status:
Dated January 24th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Uncorked
January’s preview:
“Netflix movie. Directed by the showrunner of Insecure. Sounds okay.”
“3 stars.”
Status:
No update, but it’s Netflix. It’ll come out.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Underwater
January’s preview:
“Okay then.”
“3 stars. Sound watchable but generic.”
Status:
Coming out January 10th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on January’s release calendar.
Untitled Henry & Rel Sci-Fi Project
January’s preview:
“It’s by the guys who did Catfish, who are making decent sci fi movies now.”
“Let’s call it 3.5 stars on the cast and potential. Might not go that high, but it could be good.”
Status:
Finished, but nothing yet. Guessing maybe next year?
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Valley of the Gods
January’s preview:
“Sounds weird. But John Malkovich is in it, so 3 stars.”
Status:
None, except it has screened, so that’s promising.
Will I keep tracking it?: Sure. One more year.
Vampires vs. the Bronx
January’s preview:
“Go on.”
“This looks fun. But I’m also worried about going above 3 stars. So let’s stick with that and see what this wants to be.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Viena and the Fantomes
January’s preview:
“This has been held over at least two years.”
“The fact that they still haven’t released this tells me I can’t go higher than 3 stars on it. But it is from the Miss Bala director, so I can’t imagine it’s bad. I’m just wondering why it hasn’t come out yet. That’s weird to me.”
Status:
No. I’m starting to think this is never gonna happen.
Will I keep tracking it?: No. Done. 3 stars just in case it ever happens, but I can’t track this anymore. It’s been far too long.
Waiting for the Barbarians
January’s preview:
“From one of the directors of Birds of Passage and Embrace of the Serpent. Stars Johnny Depp.”
“I’m definitely interested.”
“3.5 stars. The films always look great, and this hopefully will be more of the same.”
Status:
Played Venice. So that means some movement.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
The War with Grandpa
January’s preview:
“They bumped this out of last year, which probably tells me everything I need to know.”
“Honestly, 3 stars, on the cast alone. Let’s see how Unforgivable this really is.”
Status:
They can’t shelve this forever. I imagine next year.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Warning
January’s preview:
“Sci-fi ensemble from a first time director.”
“3 stars on principle.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: I don’t really want to. So 3 stars and then we’ll just let it come out and I’ll have this here without having to actually follow it.
The Way Back
January’s preview:
“Gavin O’Connor directs, Ben Affleck stars. The last time that happened, we got The Accountant.”
“This is a basketball movie though. And those are usually solid.”
“3.5 stars feels like an easy guess for this.”
“Not looking forward to the ‘the performance mirrors Ben Affleck’s current status in his personal life’ think pieces, but I’ll just have to brace myself for those.”
Status:
March 6th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on March’s release calendar.
West Side Story
January’s preview:
“Look, the first West Side Story is one of the single greatest movies ever made. It is perfect, and this feels like it could only be screwed up. That said, if I’m going in on Spielberg making West Side Story, I’m going all in.”
“4.5 stars.”
“Gotta go big, because you know what? If he pulls it off, it’s automatic top ten for me. If he doesn’t, I need that shit to hurt. I need to see the disappointment. I don’t want any of that, “Oh, well I guessed 4 and it was 4, I guess it’s fine.” No, no. I want the “Why would you do this, Steven? Didn’t you know it was gonna end this way?” But I want this to be great. There’s room for another West Side Story. I just need him to make it worthwhile. And 4.5 stars will make it worthwhile.”
Status:
December 18th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on December’s release calendar.
When I’m a Moth
January’s preview:
“Oh yeah, this one.”
“No idea what this is, but the fact that it has yet to come out or even have any sort of hint at coming out means 3 stars has to remain the guess.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Nope. 3 stars in case it ever does, but I don’t want to track it anymore.
The Woman in the Window
January’s preview:
“I was gonna say 3.5 stars on the thriller aspect, but with all those people this better fucking be 4 stars.”
“It sounds like a Gone Girl kind of movie, but Joe Wright is the kind of guy who can elevate something like this. So let’s see him elevate it. What can this be at worst, 3.5 stars? 4 stars is the fulcrum for something like this.”
Status:
Dated May 15th.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’ll be on May’s release calendar.
Wonderland
January’s preview:
“Peter Berg directs Mark Wahlberg. How many is this now, for them? Five in a row.”
“They seem to just be cranking out decent, watchable movies… It’s 3 or 3.5. That’s really all this is.”
“Let’s say 3.5 stars. Most of the ones they’ve done together managed 3.5, so let’s figure they can keep that up and Mile 22 was just an aberration.”
Status:
No update. I imagine next year for sure, with Berg and Wahlberg behind it.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
You Can’t Win
January’s preview:
“You had me at ‘1920s hobo underworld’.”
“Considering the people involved, I can’t guess more than 3 stars. But seriously, you had me at ‘1920s hobo underworld’.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: It’s the 1920s hobo underworld. OF COURSE I WILL.
You Should Have Left
January’s preview:
“Sounds like a horror movie where either the house is haunted or he’s losing his shit. Either way, can’t go more than 3 stars. Koepp feels like he can elevate a movie if the material is interesting. But this material is not interesting to me. So 3 stars.”
Status:
No update.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
Zola
January’s preview:
“The article this was based on is supposed to be nuts and great, so let’s call it 3.5 stars and hope this doesn’t let me down.”
Status:
Playing Sundance.
Will I keep tracking it?: Yes.
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