Ranking All the Netflix Original Movies (151-200)

The governing principle behind this website has always been, “Well, I did this, so I might as well document it.”

I think we’ve established by now that I watch ostensibly everything that matters each year (in terms of American feature releases), and a lot that doesn’t. And that now includes an ever-increasing number of Netflix movies. And, as is my credo, if I’m watching them all, why not make you all have to hear about it?

This isn’t a definitive ranking by any stretch. It’s really just how much I like each of the movies and want to recommend them to you. That’s it. Because at this point, there’s so much stuff that’s put out on the platform that unless something truly breaks through, it immediately gets lost under the pile of the newer, shinier stuff. So the goal is to just talk about everything in relation to all the others, so you can gauge what you have seen versus where I’ve put everything and then maybe go, “Oh, what’s this one? This one sounds good.”

I will also say (because it has to be said) — it’s vague as to what constitutes a Netflix Original film. I generally use Wikipedia as a guide, because Netflix has never put out an official list, and it’s impossible to use their site to figure it out. But also, some of the stuff on Wikipedia’s list are foreign films no one in America has heard of, and some other stuff that we all clearly think of as a Netflix movie isn’t. It’s all up for debate, so I just kinda went with what made sense to me. The rules are my own and I’ve decided what I think counts. The point is: shut up and let’s just celebrate the cool movies that are here. Cool? Cool.

(Note: I try to update these articles every few months as we get close to another round number of films. The next update will hopefully be sometime after the Oscars.)

200. Next Gen

This is the off-brand version of Big Hero 6. Fine if you need to entertain a child, but outside of that (and possibly even still), just watch Big Hero 6.

199. The Sleepover

Generic kids movie. Kids find out their mother is actually a thief in witness protection who has been kidnapped in order to do one last job and go out to save her. It’s very kiddie and frankly not that good. But admittedly it’s really for people under the age of 15, so it’s not really for me.

198. A California Christmas

This is literally a Hallmark movie on Netflix. They didn’t even try here. The most generic, lifeless, poorly-written… well, it’s a Hallmark movie. You know. Honestly, unless you really go for that sort of thing, odds are you probably never need to know anything about this movie.

197. Murder Mystery

To give some background on this… in 2012, Charlize Theron was gonna star in this and John Madden was gonna direct. And here we are, with an Adam Sandler Netflix movie. There’s a plot here. Just no comedy. So you’re left with a totally bland movie that meanders along with no real laughs, thrills or interest.

Of all the Adam Sandler Netflix movies, this is one of the least worst ones, but the bar is so low, that’s just my way of saying that it’s almost watchable enough that you don’t care rather than openly hating it.

196. Wine Country

Amy Poehler got her friends together to make a movie where they all hang out and drink wine. Which is a totally admirable thing to do. Adam Sandler does stuff like this all the time. And, like Adam Sandler movies… this doesn’t add up to much of anything except people who like each other hanging out.

It’s your standard indie comedy — friends get together for a weekend, everyone has their own shit going on, it all bubbles to the surface… you know how that goes. Sundance/Tribeca/SXSW puts these out every year. This just happens to have a lot of people you’ve seen on SNL and other things. So I guess that will make it more palatable to some that they get to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph instead of alt comedians that you hear on podcasts and in the occasional comic relief role in Bruce Willis VOD movies.

I feel like this is a movie that should go on Netflix, since it’s clearly targeted to middle-aged women, but as an overall movie, it’s pretty bland.

195. The Perfect Date

This is like, the quintessential rom com storyline. And for that, I am not downgrading it. Also the main character has the quintessential rom com name. Brooks Rattigan? That’s so on-the-nose it’s disgusting. You’re either the lead in a rom com or the villain in The Great Mouse Detective.

Anyway… premise is… dude is trying to save up money for college, so he develops an app on a whim where he will be (insert title here). He will show up as whoever you want him to be for a date. So it’s like prostitution without the sex. Want someone to go to a renaissance fair? He’ll do it, and he’ll commit. And so on and so forth. Of course, along the way, he’s falling in love for real, and there’s all that… it’s pure rom com.

I thought, going in, and in the first five minutes, I was gonna hate it. Ultimately it won me over and was perfectly fine. I feel like if you really love rom coms, then you’re most likely to get something out of this. I’m not sure it’s a particularly good movie, but if you’re the type who will eat up anything in this genre, I think it’s fine.

194. Rebirth

So this movie is if The Game were about Scientology.

But it’s also literally The Game. Adam Goldberg is the Sean Penn character, and as you watch the beginning of this movie, you can’t help but think, “This is The Game.” Only yeah, with a crazy religion at its center. So he goes on this retreat thing, which turns into this fucked up experience that feels like a weird trap, but since we’ve all seen The Game, we know where it’s going, especially since there are religious overtones, so you can literally pinpoint the ending as early as you care to spend time thinking about it. Which, in a movie like this, is for most of it, since there isn’t a terrible amount of stuff that holds your attention.

This is perfectly decent, as far as a watch goes. In the early days, I’d have said, “Sure, why not? Not great, but you can get through it.” Now, there are literally a hundred movies you could watch above this. So keep that in mind.

193. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby

The third one. You know the progression. First comes love, then comes marriage… and here we are. Bun in the oven. The first one was barely passable and they’ve just sort of coasted from there on out. Most people won’t bother with the first one, so by this point you’re either all in or you’re not discerning at all. Either way, you can do better with your time on the platform.

192. The Week Of

Perhaps the best Adam Sandler can do nowadays. This almost comes across as watchable.

Basically, his daughter and Chris Rock’s son are getting married. And both families are staying in the same house. Comic situations ensue. And there’s tensions because Sandler doesn’t have much money and Rock does, but Sandler feels the father of the bride should pay for the wedding, so he keeps trying to pay for it (while also being cheap) while Rock says, “Let me just write a check.”

There’s stuff there that would add up to a decent enough movie with different people behind it. But instead of a Sundance movie, it’s an Adam Sandler movie. At this point, you know what that means, sight unseen.

191. All the Bright Places

Run of the mill high school teen romance, only, you know, about suicide. Okay, it’s about mental health, but still. It’s honestly kind of a bummer, the whole thing. Not really a whole lot to like. The smiles in that picture are pretty misleading, since everyone felt like they weren’t having a good time during this. Can’t really see a reason to recommend this to anyone, especially since the director made another YA type movie that came out the same year as this on the same platform that is infinitely better than this is.

190. Paradox

Okay, so I don’t know what the hell this was. Daryl Hannah (yes, that Daryl Hannah) directed a western that stars Neil Young and his band.

Right, though?

It’s not really a western, though. It’s a strange compilation of scenes around western tropes that feels like something they’d have made to promote an album back in the 80s. It doesn’t amount to a whole lot, but then the second half (and it’s only 70 minutes, so you’ll get there quickly) is just a straight up concert film with Neil Young songs. Which is awesome.

As a movie, I can’t recommend it. As a weird, whatever the hell this is experience, I say give it a shot. It’s not good, but it’s so unique that it’s worth having in your bag of, “You know what weird ass movie I saw?”, that you can bring up to people.

And also, it’s got some great musical performances in it. So you can do as I did, fold your laundry and listen to Neil Young. There are worse things you can find on Netflix.

189. Love Guaranteed

This is a Hallmark level movie. But Rachael Leigh Cook is in it, and when’s the last time you saw her? The premise is a guy, burned by a bad relationship, goes on a dating app that “guarantees” that you’ll find love from it. So he, reading the fine print, decides to go on enough dates to prove “no I didn’t”. You know, a ‘gotcha’ lawsuit. And Cook is — stop me if you’re heard this before — the charming lawyer with a failing practice who is very dedicated to her job but doesn’t have her shit together in her personal life at all. And guess what’s gonna happen when she and him start preparing for the trial??? I bet you can guess, because it’s literally the most obvious movie it could possibly be. Don’t waste your time on this unless this is absolutely the kind of movie you go for.

188. Falling Inn Love

Major props to them for that pun title. It’s so awful that it may actually be genius.

At this point I feel like all you have to do is go into Netflix with a title and they will green light your rom com. (Which reminds me, look out for my upcoming movie, “Thyme of Your Life,” about a plucky young woman who decides to get out of the city and start a spice farm.)

This one is about an American woman who wins ownership of an Inn in New Zealand (because apparently that’s a thing) and decides to put her life on hold (and she’s just about to get that big promotion and get engaged, too!) and go renovate it so she can sell it. But of course, she’s gonna find love and a way of life that just speaks to her!

It’s… I can’t totally shit on it because there’s an entire industry of these movies that people just flock to. I am not one of those people, even though I can be tempted to be moderately charmed by some of them. This one didn’t do it for me, as much as I respect the effort. Though in the gamut of Netflix rom comes, this one edges closer to respectable than a lot of the others.

187. Hubie Halloween

Adam Sandler. Guess he’s gonna work his way through all the holidays now. I don’t really need to say much except Adam Sandler. You know what type of movie it is. You know what the quality is. And you know whether or not you’ll enjoy it. I think this ranking about speaks for itself and I will instead spend more time talking about things that deserve it.

186. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square

Dolly Parton made a Christmas musical. She’s made those for years, only now she has Netflix. It’s either gonna appeal to your or it isn’t. For those it appeals to, go for it. For everyone else, you’re fine skipping it.

185. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

This was, I think, the second ever Netflix Original movie. After Beasts of No Nation. Feels like so long ago, doesn’t it?

They made a sequel 15 years after the fact, which isn’t great. And then they didn’t bring back the director, who was really the only thing that made the original work as well as it did. Granted, the director was the fight coordinator of the original, so that’s something.

I guess if you really like these kinds of movies you can give it a shot. But there’s nothing particularly worthwhile here, not as compared to the original.

184. Work It

Generic dance movie. Overachiever is trying to perfect her application to her dream school and has to learn how to dance because the admissions person interviewing her thinks she’s part of the team instead of just their board operator. And, guess what? Turns out she has a passion for dance! It’s… dumb. It hits all the notes you’d expect and there’s really not much here. If you like dance movies or have no problem watching the same thing you’ve seen a hundred times before, go for it. Otherwise, there’s really nothing here you need concern yourself with.

183. 6 Underground

This movie is Michael Bay’s wet dream. 100% he has had the fantasy of doing this. The movie, in case you don’t know, is about a group of rich people who’ve faked their own deaths and go around as action heroes, stopping terrorists and bad guys before they do bad shit. No joke, that’s the movie. It’s… borderline unwatchable. Think of Bay’s worst instincts (especially in regard to bad writing/’humor’) rolled into one. He’s been slowly getting out of touch for years, and now it’s really showing. He has Ryan Reynolds do the same thing Reynolds has done in literally all his movies and seemingly thinks he’s the first person to ever have this idea. He feels like someone unacquainted with the real world and is finding out about stuff that was maybe novel about 8-10 years ago and is like, “I gotta use that.” It’s… embarrassing. You can probably watch this okay, because so much money into it it’s going to be a baseline level of watchable. But my god. This is the worst thing he’s ever made by a mile. And if I’m saying that about a Michael Bay movie, chances are you don’t want to waste your time with it.

182. When We First Met

Another Groundhog Day ripoff. Adam Devine is friend-zoned and is in love with her, even though she’s about to get married to someone else. Though through the magic of a magical photo booth (how millennial), he can relive the night they met (Halloween, naturally) and maybe change the future to one he prefers. Of course, each time the night goes different, the future changes to something else, and yada yada yada… you can guess where everything goes.

The Groundhog Day plot generally makes all these movies watchable, but it also prevents them from being particularly good. This seems to be for people who don’t know Groundhog Day exists. Because for everyone else, they’re probably thinking, “Why am I not just watching that instead?”

181. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

The sequel. the first one was surprisingly okay. This one was… surprisingly average? The Netflix Christmas Universe (X-Masverse? Holi-Date Movies? … P.S. how is there not one of these called The Holidate* yet?) is in full swing by this one, to the point where they rushed to put this out a year after the first one came out.

(* This is an old blurb. I called that shit.)

It’s a continuation, like The Princess Diaries 2… of course there has to be a wedding. And then a baby for the third one. (Called that one too.)

These movies are paint by numbers, and you know what you’re getting all around. I expect them all to be dog shit going in, but this one was actually not half bad. So there’s that.

180. Feel the Beat

Another generic dance movie! This one’s about the best dancer in a small town who went to make it on Broadway and instead flamed out (despite lying to everyone that she’d gotten somewhere). So she’s forced to return to her hometown and coach the local dance academy. And of course, she’s determined to take the ragtag group of girls she’s supposed to teach and whip them into shape for a big competition because if she does… that might get her back where she wants to be! I trust you haven’t seen this exact plot thirty or forty times. That’s exactly what this is. The main character is pretty unlikable for the majority of the movie, especially since she’s seemingly never watched a movie in her entire life, so she doesn’t seem to know how human beings behave. There’s really nothing here worth your time, unless you’re super into dance.

179. The Princess Switch: Switched Again

“What’s better than two Vanessa Hudgens’? Three Vanessa Hudgens’.” — This movie.

That’s basically the premise here. “Well, that first one worked, so let’s add a third one.” And that’s all they did. The first one was mildly watchable and this one is majorly unwatchable. It’s dumb, predictable, in line with all the other weird pseudo-Christmas movies (and is part of a shared universe with all the rest, which is just bizarre and about as well-thought out as the D.C. Universe), and really not worth your time unless you really like watching Vanessa Hudgens.

178. El Camino Christmas

Yes, that is Tim Allen holding a beer and talking to a cardboard cutout of a woman in a bikini.

Not the best movie in the world, but it is sort of a single location movie that takes place over a single day. So that makes it more interesting to me than most stuff.

Premise is: Dude comes to a small town to find the father he never met. He starts getting harassed by a douchebag cop. Through a series of plot contrivances, the guy ends up in a liquor store, involved in a hostage situation. It’s meant to be a comedy. Series of errors and all of a sudden dude looks like he’s holding all these people hostage and is in a shootout with police. Allen plays a local drunk, who, as you can imagine through the Law of Economy of Characters, ends up being more important to the plot than just the comic relief.

It’s perfectly watchable, and it all takes place on Christmas. Nothing too great here. I saw it for Tim Allen. Mostly you watch this and wonder what this could have been if someone like Shane Black wrote it and it came out in 1998.

177. Good Sam

I was surprised at how okay this was for me. Standard rom com, with about the same production values as those Christmas movies. Honestly I’m surprised this didn’t end up as part of that universe.

Ambitious reporter who works the murder/disaster beat gets grounded after being a bit too close to a warehouse fire. She gets put on the case of a mysterious stranger who leaves bags filled with $100,000 on the doorsteps of complete strangers. She thinks it’s dumb, but pretty soon she gets caught up in the story (as does all of the city), as well as two men who are trying to date her (one a hedge fund manager who works with her father and the other a hot fireman).

It’s totally watchable in every way. It’s actually kind of regressive in its narrative, to the point where you can see things coming from miles away. But honestly, it’s just fine. I found myself being more engaged than I expected. And honestly, sometimes you just need comfort food. And this is that kind of movie.

176. The Princess Switch

This is the first of the Netflix Christmas movies that started tying the universe together. She literally watches one of the other ones on TV in the middle of the movie.

But anyway, this is Vanessa Hudgens playing twins. Or rather, two women who aren’t related but look identical. One is about to be the princess of a fictional nation and the other is a cook who wants more. So they agree to swap identities for the day (a sort of Prince and the Pauper), and of course each falls in love with the other’s love interest… you know the deal.

It’s pure Hallmark movie stuff, and it’s pretty down the middle as far as these Christmas movies go. Some are awful, some are halfway decent… this one’s just kind of at the median. It’s got moments, but otherwise is just kinda there.

175. The Kissing Booth 2

Like all sequels, it’s lesser than the first one. And since the first one was passable, this one’s pretty meh. It’s way too long and falls into the same dumb trap that all these rom com high school sequels fall into — the main character, who struggled for years until the events of the first movie to find someone who wanted to date them, suddenly has two people to choose from! And guess what? Just when the second one comes along, things seem to be on shaky ground with the first one! Oh no! What’ll happen? It’s really not a very good movie and was just an excuse to squeeze more views out of people since the first one performed so well for them. Honestly not worth your time unless you are a middle- or high-school aged girl who is into these movies.

174. Tall Girl

Yes, this is a movie. It’s a high school movie, but the girl is 6’2”. Which could be a decent enough set up for a rom com, only everyone is so cartoonish that all they do is make fun of her height as if meanness is just a compulsion every time they pass by her. But then she meets a foreign exchange student who is also her height, and guess what… he gets her! But then there’s Duckie, her best friend, who’s been there all along!

I will say, there is a dumb motif that happens in this movie that pays off at the end that, while stupid as all hell, made me go, “You know what, I’m fine with that.” So there’s that. A lot of the movie is straight up bad. Everything that Steve Zahn does as the father with the dumb comedic moments of trying to prove that he’s cool with her being tall is just awful. But then there’s a sweet moment near the end with the two of them at a piano that almost totally redeems all that crap. It’s a very weird mixed bag of a movie. Overall I would say not totally successful, but, like its protagonist, it does stand out. So I guess it’s got that going for it.

173. Holidate

Remember when I jokingly presaged the existence of this movie in another blurb (see: The Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, which is very likely ranked pretty closely to this one)? That was fun.

This is a movie based around a pun. Movies were based on less, but when you’re dealing in generic rom com territory, you can only stretch a pun so far. The idea is, two people who hate being the only single person at family holiday gatherings decide to go as each other’s dates for all holidays and then never see each other beyond that. Strictly business and platonic. Naturally you can guess what happens there.

There’s really not much here. Honestly, the lighting in that image is more interesting than everything that happens in this entire movie.

172. Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

This is Cyrano de Bergerac (look at the title) set in high school.

Unpopular smart girl has a crush on a hot guy, and teams up with the pretty girl to woo him. She’s the voice and the pretty girl is the face. And they use social media to make it happen.

It’s… I didn’t like it too much, just because the plotting feels lazy and it doesn’t follow much logic, but you know, if you like high school movies, you might be okay with this.

171. We Can Be Heroes

Robert Rodriguez-directed kids movie. And, as someone who grew up with the Spy Kids movies (not so much Sharkboy and Lavagirl), I understand that Robert Rodriguez knows how to actually make these movies feel worthwhile and not completely stupid. And I think that’s because he understands how kids think and the type of logic that would work for people that age. I watched this and went, “I understand this,” even if I didn’t necessarily love it. It’s better made than most kids movies of this sort — and I know, because I’ve watched the other Netflix kids movies. They’re all lower than this on the list. It’s not gonna change your life, but if you were forced to watch a Netflix Original kids movie, this is at least better than the majority of them.

170. Burning Sands

It’s about fraternity hazing. A bit too dour and serious, but overall a decent movie. One of those “watch it if it seems interesting to you, but otherwise you’re fine” kind of movies.

169. The Siege of Jadotville

Another army movie. Siege movie, so at least it has that going for it.

Just kind of non-stop action, and period action, so it’s got that. Otherwise it’s just okay. Worth it if you’ll watch any kind of war movie. Otherwise pretty skippable.

168. Sand Castle

It’s one of those Jarhead type movies about a young soldier in Iraq. I’m not quite sure what it’s going for.

One of those movies that has fallen into the abyss and with good reason — there’s not much real reason to recommend it and not much to get out of it.

This is in that realm of “it’s just fine,” so there’s nothing really to say about it, good or bad.

167. Small Crimes

Interesting little adult drama, the kind of which would get released in 1-3 theaters for a few weeks and then disappear to VOD, never to be seen again.

It stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau as a corrupt cop just out of prison for attacking a mob witness while on the take. So now he’s out and trying to restart his life and start over, but of course can’t because everyone around him won’t let him. That classic “ex-con” story. Very watchable with a good cast that includes Robert Forster, Jacki Weaver, Macon Blair and Gary Cole. It’s worth it if you like these sorts of movies.

166. The Titan

Oh look, Sam Worthington is playing another variation of an Avatar character.

That’s really all this is about. Astronauts take part in some experiments. Most of them die. The one that doesn’t turns into that thing. And it’s about him slowly turning into the thing. Like The Fly, meets Dr. Manhattan.

Pretty all around standard, as Netflix movies go. Not great, not terrible, totally watchable, and pretty forgettable.

165. Spectral

Ghost soldiers. That’s really all this is. Soldiers fighting ghosts. (Black Hawk Undead?)

It’s whatever. If rom coms are comfort food for some, this is comfort food for people who like these kinds of movies.

164. Dude

High school teen dramedy. Four friends deal with their impending graduation and what it means for the future. You’ve seen it before, it’s very much of the time (they smoke weed and use social media), and it’s really only remotely interesting because the cast is kind of interesting.

It almost goes too far — making these problems out to be bigger than they actually are, having the mindset of “we’re 18, the world is our oyster,” all that shit I can’t stand in these movies — but ultimately it’s just fine. If this is your genre, you’ll see if, if it’s not, it’s nothing you need to seek out.

163. The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter

This is a Jody Hill movie. After Eastbound and Down, and Observe and Report, you’d expect it to be great, and hilarious. This, just kinda falls flat. There’s no real comedy in it, and it just kinda hums along for 80 minutes without a purpose.

Josh Brolin is a famous hunter who puts out videos (like Steve Zissou, but for killing deer), and wants to reconnect with his son, who grew up with iPhones and stuff. So he takes him out on his first hunt, thinking it’ll be a great video. Of course, the kid doesn’t give a shit and things go wrong… you know the drill.

I wish I could say this was worthwhile, but it just… doesn’t come together. You’ll get through it, but at the end you won’t really know what you got out of it or remember much of anything that happens.

162. Someone Great

This sounded like something that was gonna end up in “Ibiza” territory. The female-centric rom com that doesn’t find its own voice because it’s trying to do the same shit other, better movies did. Only this movie did have a voice, and it had its own personality, and it was quite mature as well, and that was the most surprising thing about it.

The premise is, Gina Rodriguez and Lakeith Stanfield have been dating for years. Since college. Now, she’s about to get her dream job, in San Francisco, and they’ve just broken up right before she’s gonna move. So it’s about her about to start her life over, at her lowest after a very bad breakup, deciding to have one last night out with her girls. But it’s not… it doesn’t have wacky antics (even though there are a few somewhat-cliched detours, one of which includes Rupaul as their drug dealer), and she doesn’t immediately find the next love of her life… it’s more a a journey of self-discovery.

All things considered, if you take into account that there has to be some “movie” moments… it’s probably the most true to life that I’ve seen in one of these movies. Sure, it’s exaggerated, but there’s a real solid core and heart to this movie that I really respected, even if the movie itself wasn’t entirely for me. I definitely would recommend this for this who lean toward this type of movie.

161. 6 Balloons

The thing that saves this movie for me is the fact that it’s only 70 minutes long. Any longer and it would have gone lower than this.

It’s about Dave Franco as a heroin addict who relapses and his sister, Abbi Jacobsen, who is tired of his shit but decides to help him enough to get him into rehab.

The shortness of the film helps make it watchable, but I can’t say it was anything particularly special. Watch it if you want.

160. Sergio

Drama about a diplomat during the Iraq War. Not sure who exactly this type of movie appeals to, but it’s perfectly watchable. So, if this sounds like it’s your think, go for it. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t get much out of it anyway.

159. 1922

Stephen King adaptation that is basically The Tell-Tale Heart but in a cornfield. Guy (along with his son) murders his wife to inherit the land, and things (mainly guilt) prevent it from going as smoothly as he anticipates.

It’s perfectly watchable. The quintessential 3-star movie. It goes exactly where you expect it to and there aren’t really any surprises here whatsoever. Mostly it reminds you, “Hey, Thomas Jane is a good actor. I feel like I barely see him in stuff.”

158. The Last Days of American Crime

This movie is insane. First off — bordering incomprehensible. I have no idea what the plot of this movie is, and it’s almost two-and-a-half hours long. It’s almost as if it should have been nominated by Paul Verhoeven instead, it’s that level of ‘maybe there’s some sort of satirical message here that got lost when they hired a generic action director to make it’, but I can’t be too sure.

The premise is that the government is gonna introduce a signal that will somehow make all people who are committing crimes feel horrible pain, which will effectively end all the crime in the country. (And yes, your guess is as good as mine. I have no fucking idea how it’s meant to work or why anyone thought this was a good idea.) And so the film is a group of people deciding to pull off one last job before it’s all over. Which, I guess? But also — truly, truly incomprehensible. You think I’m kidding, but go ahead and watch it, you’ll see.

The only thing of note in this movie is whatever the fuck Michael Pitt is doing. His character is the one that, if this were made in the 90s and by Paul Verhoeven, Nicolas Cage would’ve 1000% played him. It’s that level of insane performance. To the point where, for the first 25 minutes he’s on screen, you’re going, “Is he doing a Jerry Lewis impersonation? It sounds like that’s what he’s doing?” And then you’re not paying any attention to anything else except whether or not he’s trying to be Jerry Lewis or if it’s an unfortunate side effect, and then whether or not you even think the performance is ‘so bad it’s good’ or just another one of those things from this movie you will never understand.

I honestly don’t know what this movie is, and the only reason it’s ranked so high is because it’s so much fun to talk about and is one of those movies that really deserves one of those shows where people sit and make fun of it as they watch it, because that’s really the only way anyone should ever see this. It’s only worth it if you’re gonna watch it for the purposes of going, “What the hell am I watching?”

157. The Outsider

Jared Leto joins the Yakuza. That’s it. That’s the film.

The movie is about an American that joins the Yakuza, so it’s not like they cast an American in place of a Japanese person. But also, the movie doesn’t tell an interesting enough story to make you feel like it was worth telling over some other Yakuza movie.

It’s perfectly watchable, but… kinda gets boring the deeper in he gets. The early stuff, in the Japanese prison, is interesting, and the initial Yakuza stuff is fine, but once he starts ascending and goes all Last Samurai with the head guy’s daughter, it loses almost all interest.

This is about as average as it gets for a Netflix movie.

156. Alex Strangelove

Cute little… I guess rom com? Coming-of-out story?

Basically, guy has been with his girlfriend for a few years and she wants to take the next step… only he’s starting to realize he may have a crush on another boy instead.

It’s not the greatest movie ever, but it does feel a bit more mature than you’d expect, and doesn’t go to all the obvious cliches you would expect. Not for everyone, but also firmly in that realm of, if you think you’re gonna like it, then go for it.

155. The Angel

Based on the true story of the son-in-law of Nassar and advisor to Sadat who was secretly also an Israeli spy.

This is a thriller where… it’s like all those other historical thrillers that come out… if you’re interested in the history or like political thrillers you’ll get something out of it. If you don’t really care, it’s just kind of a capable movie that totally works if you want to spend the time with it.

154. All Day and a Night

Pretty straightforward crime/coming-of-age (I guess?) movie. It’s from the co-writer of Black Panther and stars the kid from the middle section of Moonlight. He’s an aspiring rapper growing up in a bad neighborhood whose father (Jeffrey Wright) is a drug dealer who’s been in and out of prison all his life. The kid ends up committing a double homicide and sentenced to a bunch of years in prison. So the movie is us seeing him in jail and his life outside it. Not really sure what the purpose of the whole thing is, but it’s adequately made and perfectly watchable. This is one of those baseline ‘just okay’ Netflix movies. Where you can watch it, but it’s not particularly good or particularly bad. Just sort of there.

153. ARQ

It’s Groundhog Day but with time travel.

Basically a time travel machine is in the garage, and a husband and wife wake up in bed minutes before they get killed. So they have to keep going through this to figure out how not to get killed and stop the loop.

It’s totally watchable, but nothing special.

152. Close

This is Noomi Rapace doing Liam Neeson. Basically.

She is an agent who gets hired to babysit a spoiled daughter of a wealthy businesswoman in the Middle East. Of course the girl doesn’t want a babysitter and hates her, but then some shit goes down and pretty soon Noomi is the only one she can trust, and she beats the shit out of a lot of people in order to protect the girl.

Perfectly standard, borderline generic action movie, and it’s the perfect movie for Netflix, because there are no stakes for the viewer. You’re not gonna feel let down by this, because in all likelihood, you had no idea it even existed, so you’re just watching it to be amused for 95 minutes.

151. Been So Long

Another movie that would never have had a platform or gotten any sort of traction with viewers if it weren’t on the platform. This is a British rom com with an all-black cast. And I’m here for it. It’s also part musical.

This is the kind of movie that I like watching. Because it’s different, it’s charming, and it’s the kind of thing I can go, “You know, this is a filmmaker who deserves more praise and work.”

This is the kind of movie that no one will ever watch, but is well-written, well-acted and has a big heart that it wears on its sleeve. I’d say this is worth seeing over a great percentage of the stuff that’s out there.

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See the rest of the Netflix Rankings:





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One response

  1. Thank you. I think you saved me a few hours with this list. The trailers on Netflix for some of these looked so good.

    November 29, 2019 at 1:56 pm

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