The 2021 Film Release Calendar: Films Without Release Dates (A-L)

It’s been such a protracted year, but finally we’re ready to finish the Release Calendar (and finally I can actually start watching stuff from this year in earnest.

By now, the calendar’s starting to get more filled out than it usually is when I start going over everything and we’re starting to get a sense that maybe, just maybe, by the latter half of the year movie theaters will be open and operating again at a level relatively near to what we’re used to.

So, in the hopes of that happening, let’s go over all the stuff that’s fixing to come out.

Here are all the films that don’t yet have release dates:

12 Mighty Orphans

Haunted by his mysterious past, a devoted high school football coach leads a scrawny team of orphans to the state championship during the Great Depression and inspires a broken nation along the way.

Honestly I’m only gonna watch this for Robert Duvall and Martin Sheen. can’t imagine it’s any good, but given the formulaic nature of sports movies, I figure I can get 3 stars out of this.

The Adam Project

A man must travel back in time to get help from his 13-year-old self.

High-concept sci-fi movie directed by Shawn Levy and starring Ryan Reynolds. I mean, sure. Also has Jennifer Garner, Zoe Saldana, Mark Ruffalo and Catherine Keener. Cast is nice. The question is whether it’s generic or has something to it.

I guess 3.5 stars. 3 is the baseline here, so let’s bet on it maybe having something solid going on in it.

Afterlife of the Party

A social butterfly who dies during her birthday week is given a second chance to right her wrongs on Earth.

Are… are they doing YA Ghost? Okay then.

I mean, they did Ghost already YA recently, but that was overdramatic. This seems lighter in tone.

Writer has only done Hallmark movies, director is Stephen Herek, who’s done stuff like Bill and Ted and Mr. Holland’s Opus but more recently has done Hallmark stuff. I mean, I guess I could easily get 3 stars out of this, but the Hallmark stuff really makes me leery.

2.5 stars.

After Yang

In a near future, a family reckons with questions of love, connection, and loss after their A.I. helper unexpectedly breaks down.

This is by Kogonada, who did Columbus a few years ago, which was solid. Nice cast — Colin Farrell, Jodie Turner-Smith, Haley Lu Richardson, Clifton Collins.

Sounds like it’ll be good.

3.5 stars.

All Star Weekend

Two buddies form a rivalry over their favorite American basketball player.

Jamie Foxx directed this and it has all his friends in it. They’ve held this over for like two years. Part of me wonders if that’s because it isn’t any good or because they were gonna release it last year but the pandemic prevented them from doing it. Since I imagine they’d like to release it around the NBA All-Star Game or Finals or something.

I mean, given all the people in this, I imagine it’ll be fun enough to get 3 stars out of it.

All the Old Knives

Two CIA operatives, and former lovers, reunite at idyllic Carmel-by-the-Sea to re-examine a mission six years ago in Vienna where a fellow agent might have been compromised.

Stars Chris Pine and Thandie Newton. And they threw in Laurence Fishburne and Jonathan Pryce for good measure. Sounds fun.

3.5 stars.

America: The Motion Picture

A chainsaw-wielding George Washington teams with beer-loving bro Sam Adams to take down the Brits in a tongue-in-cheek riff on the American Revolution.

This sure sounds a lot like Drunk History: The Movie. And you know what? Sure.

3 stars.

American Siege

An ex-NYPD officer-turned-sheriff of a small rural Georgia town has to contend with a gang of thieves who have taken a wealthy doctor hostage.

Bruce Willis VOD movie. He’s all but given up at this point.

All his movies have one of three plots: bunch of people stuck in a location with bad guys, criminals planning a heist or ‘bad shit happens in space’. Those are the three. And none of them have been remotely watchable and yet I force myself to go through this every time because I can’t believe that Bruce Willis has continued to give up this much.

2.5 stars.


A stand-up comedian and his opera singer wife have a 2 year old daughter with a surprising gift.

I’ve heard about this movie for years and can’t believe it’s finally coming out. No idea what to make of this but I’m so in.

3.5 stars.


Five elite hunters pay to hunt down a man on a deserted island, only to find themselves becoming the prey.

Oh wow. Bruce Willis paycheck movie with a new plot! It’s Most Dangerous Game.

Okay then. Maybe I can get something out of this.

3 stars.

Apollo 10½

A coming-of-age story set in the suburbs of Houston, Texas in the summer of 1969, centered around the historic Apollo 11 moon landing.

It’s Richard Linklater, which means 3.5 stars as a base. But this sounds fun, so I’m gonna go 4 stars.

I trust Linklater unconditionally. He never lets me down.


After a devastating global event wipes out all electronics and eliminated people’s ability to sleep, a former soldier may have found a solution with her daughter.

Netflix movie. Gina Rodriguez. I mean, sure.

3 stars.

Axis Sally

An American woman named Mildred Gillars broadcast Nazi propaganda during World War II. She was dubbed Axis Sally by the American GIs who simultaneously loved and hated her. The story plunges the viewer into the dark underbelly of the Third Reich’s hate-filled propaganda machine, Sally’s eventual capture, and subsequent trial for treason in Washington D.C. after the war.

Great idea for movie. Director is Michael Polish, who’s still about as indie as they come. And he’s got Al Pacino presumably in some sort of extended cameo. I mean, sure.

3 stars. Can’t expect this to be great, but the story lends itself to it being a solid movie if they can tell it right.


A gifted young Black woman struggles to maintain her voice and identity after she’s offered a lucrative recording contract.

Netflix movie. Written by Lena Waithe. The last movie she wrote was solid, so I imagine this’ll be good too.

3 stars.

Being the Ricardos

The life and career of television pioneer, Lucille Ball.

It’s Aaron Sorkin. 4.5 stars. No questions asked.


A 17th-century nun in Italy suffers from disturbing religious and erotic visions. She is assisted by a companion, and the relationship between the two women develops into a romantic love affair.

Paul Verhoeven back doing the erotic thriller thing. And now it’s sexy nun stuff. I mean, that sounds like a Paul Verhoeven movie.

3 stars. Let’s hope it’s good.

Bergman Island

“The picture revolves around an American filmmaking couple who retreat to the island for the summer to each write screenplays for their upcoming films in an act of pilgrimage to the place that inspired Bergman. As the summer and their screenplays advance, the lines between reality and fiction start to blur against the backdrop of the Island’s wild landscape.”

This is by Mia Hanson-Løve, which means it should be solid.

I’m leery about indie character dramas about people who work in film, so I’m sticking with 3 stars.

Best Sellers

A cranky, retired author reluctantly embarks on a final book tour to help out a young publisher.

Michael Caine stars as the author and that’s all I need.

3 stars.

Big Bug

A group of bickering suburbanites find themselves stuck together when an android uprising causes their well intentioned household robots to lock them in for their own safety.

This is by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who feels like he hasn’t made a movie in a while. Been 20 years since Amélie and I think his last movie was the kids movie T.S. Spivet.

This sounds like another family film, and I imagine it’ll look great and be fun. The question is if I should go 3.5. I probably should, but I’m gonna stick with 3 stars just to make sure he still has it and hasn’t just become filmmaker for hire..

Big Gold Brick

Big Gold Brick recounts the story of fledgling writer Samuel Liston and his experiences with Floyd Deveraux, the enigmatic, middle-aged father of two who enlists Samuel to write his biography. But the circumstances that lead up to this arrangement in the first place are quite astonishing-and efforts to write the biography are quickly stymied by ensuing chaos in this darkly comedic, genre-bending film.

Oscar Isaac, Andy Garcia and Megan Fox are in this, along with Emory Cohen and Lucy Hale. They alone make me have to see this.

3 stars.

Birds of Paradise

Two girls at an elite Parisian ballet academy have their bond and bodies tested as they compete for a contract to join the company of the Opéra national de Paris.

I like the idea. Hopefully it’s good.

3 stars.

The Birthday Cake

On the 10th anniversary of his father’s death, Giovanni reluctantly accepts the task of bringing a cake to the home of his uncle, a mob boss, for a celebration. Just two hours into the night, Gio’s life is forever changed.

I know this isn’t gonna be good, but Ewan McGregor and Val Kilmer are in it, which means I’ll have to sit through it anyway.

3 stars


Travis Block, a shadowy Government agent who specializes in removing operatives who’s covers have been exposed, uncovers a deadly conspiracy within his own ranks that reaches the highest echelons of power.

Liam Neeson action movie.

3 stars.

Remember when he said he was done with these? Apparently he had a few more left in him.

Blast Beat

Two young brothers from Colombia struggle to fit into their new lives in suburban America.

This sounded like a fun Sundance indie… and then it never got picked up. Which means I have to lower my expectations.

3 stars.


A fictionalized chronicle of the inner life of Marilyn Monroe.

It’s Andrew Dominik. And he alone makes me go 4.5 stars. Dude’s made nothing but amazing movies so far and this one sounds wild. It sounds like he’s taking some big chances with this and it’ll end up being a divisive movie. Still, I trust the man who made Chopper, Assassination of Jesse James and Killing Them Softly.

Body Brokers

Brought to Los Angeles for treatment, a recovering junkie soon learns that the rehab center is not about helping people, but a cover for a multi-billion-dollar fraud operation that enlists addicts to recruit other addicts.

It’s got Frank Grillo, Michael K. Williams, Jessica Rothe, Melissa Leo and Alice Englert in it. I’m in.

3 stars.

Born to Be Murdered

A vacationing couple fall trap to a violent conspiracy with tragic consequences.

Stars John David Washington and Alicia Vikander. Oh, and Boyd Holbrook and Vicky Krieps.

This feels like it could go anywhere from 3-3.5 stars. It sounds thriller-y, so I’ll say 3 stars but I hope I can get more out of this.

A Boy Called Christmas

This is the story of Father Christmas, the tale of a young boy named Nikolas (Henry Lawfull) as he goes on his adventures. This is a Christmas movie based on a book of the same title by Matt Haig and will include snow, elves, kidnapping, more snow, and Dame Maggie Smith. What more could you want in a holiday movie?

Good job to whichever intern had to write that synopsis.

It’s directed by Gil Kenan, who makes fun family movies. I’m sure this will be fine.

3 stars.


Follows a former MMA fighter struggling to regain custody of her son and restart her athletic career.

Halle Berry directed this and I like when actors direct.

3 stars.

The Bubble

Follows a group of actors and actresses stuck inside a pandemic bubble at a hotel attempting to complete a film.

So Judd Apatow wrote this with his daughter and is co-directing it with his daughter.

The question is whether this is gonna be more like Day for Night or more like that Doug Liman pandemic movie.

I’ve generally not been into most Apatow films, so I’ll say 3 stars and hope it ends up being decent.

Bullet Train

Five assassins aboard a fast moving bullet train find out their missions have something in common.

It’s by David Leitch, who’s done John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2 and Hobbs and Shaw. Which already tells you what you’re gonna get from this.

Oh, and it stars Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Zazie Beetz, Sandra Bullock, Michael Shannon, Joey King, Hiroyuki Sanada, Brian Tyree Henry, Bad Bunny, Masi Oka, Logan Lerman and Lady fucking Gaga.

3.5 stars. It’s Snowpiercer but with bullets instead of social commentary. And I’m totally fine with that. I hope I can get 4 out of this.

C’mon C’mon

An artist embarks on a a cross-country trip with his young nephew.

Mike Mills film starring Joaquin Phoenix. Beginners and 20th Century Women were good and I have no reason to think this won’t be more of the same.

3.5 stars.

The Card Counter

The film, written and directed by Schrader, follows William Tell, a gambler and former serviceman who sets out to reform a young man seeking revenge on a mutual enemy from their past. Tell just wants to play cards. His spartan existence on the casino trail is shattered when he is approached by Cirk, a vulnerable and angry young man seeking help to execute his plan for revenge on a military colonel. Tell sees a chance at redemption through his relationship with Cirk. Gaining backing from mysterious gambling financier La Linda, Tell takes Cirk with him on the road, going from casino to casino until the unlikely trio set their sights on winning the World Series of poker in Las Vegas. But keeping Cirk on the straight-and-narrow proves impossible, dragging Tell back into the darkness of his past.

Pau Schrader directs Oscar Isaac, Tye Sheridan, Willem Dafoe and Tiffany Haddish.

I’m ready.

3.5 stars.

A Castle for Christmas

It’s a holiday Netflix movie with Brooke Shields and Cary Elwes.

Oh yeah, this is a thing.

2.5 stars.


As a CODA (Child of Deaf Adults) Ruby is the only hearing person in her deaf family. When the family’s fishing business is threatened, Ruby finds herself torn between pursuing her love of music and her fear of abandoning her parents.

3.5 stars. This sounds really good.

The Comeback Trail

Two movie producers who owe money to the mob set up their aging movie star for an insurance scam to try and save themselves. But they wind up getting more than they ever imagined.

Seems like a throwback to the kind of movies they made in the 80s and 90s. The trailer told me the entire plot of the film, even when it was gonna come out last year. So I already know what I’m getting out of this.

3 stars.

Cop Shop

A small town police station becomes the unlikely battleground between a professional hitman, a smart female rookie cop and a double crossing conman who seeks refuge behind bars with no place left to run.

Joe Carnahan action movie. I’m sure it’ll be fun.

3 stars.


Cryptozookeepers try to capture a Baku, a dream-eating hybrid creature of legend, and start wondering if they should display these beasts or keep them hidden and unknown.

Sundance indie.

3 stars.


It’s a musical version of Cyrano directed by Joe Wright.

I mean, sure.

4 stars.

Wright’s earned at least 3.5 and I like musicals and I can only imagine the kind of visual flair he’s gonna bring to this, along with I’m sure gorgeous set and costume design. So I’m ready.


A reformed sociopath journeys to a remote island to investigate the mystery behind his brother’s demise, but soon ends up facing off with more than he bargained for.

How does one become a reformed sociopath?

Whatever. It’s a Mel Gibson action movie. I’ll watch it.

3 stars.

Decision to Leave

A detective investigating a man’s death in the mountains meets the dead man’s mysterious wife in the course of his dogged sleuthing.

Chan-wook Park directed this, and I’m all in.

3.5 stars.

The Diary

In the early 1930s, a young man leaves Shanghai to come to Europe and reunite with the love of his life.

Jackie Chan directed this.

3 stars. Hope it’s 3.5.

Die in a Gunfight

In New York City, a young guy falls for the daughter of his father’s nemesis.

Romeo and Juliet with guns.

3 stars.

Dinner in America

An on-the-lam punk rocker and a young woman obsessed with his band unexpectedly fall in love and go on an epic journey together through America’s decaying Midwestern suburbs.

Sundance indie.

3 stars.


Briggs who, alongside his companion Lulu, a Belgian Malinois, haul ass down the Pacific Coast in time to catch their best friend’s and handler’s funeral. One of them has a week to live, the other lives like every day is his last.

Channing Tatum stars and co-writes and directs.

I truly don’t know what to make of this, but let’s assume there’s a point here.

3.5 stars.

Don’t Look Up

The story of two low-level astronomers, who must go on a giant media tour to warn mankind of an approaching comet that will destroy planet earth.

It’s Adam McKay doing his Big Short thing again about climate change, and I’m all in.

4.5 stars.

Don’t Worry Darling

A 1950’s housewife living with her husband in a utopian experimental community begins to worry that his glamorous company may be hiding disturbing secrets.

Olivia Wilde directs, which is good. It’s a horror/thriller, which is not so good. If she leans more Twilight Zone on it, I bet I could like this. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say 3.5 stars.

The Dougherty Gang

Facing the possibility of prison – and in search of an idealized freedom – 3 siblings take matters in to their own hands with a cross country crime spree of epic proportions.

3 stars.

Dream Horse

Dream Alliance is an unlikely race horse bred by small-town Welsh bartender Jan Vokes. With no experience, Jan convinces her neighbors to chip in their meager earnings to help raise Dream in the hopes he can compete with the racing elites.

How can you go wrong in an uplifting ensemble sports movie?

3.5 stars.

Drunk Bus

A directionless, young campus bus driver and a punk rock, Samoan security guard named Pineapple form an unlikely kinship as they navigate the unpredictable late shift shit show known as the “drunk bus.” Together, they break out of their endless loop and into a world of uncertainty, excitement and incredibly poor decision-making.

Seems indie and fun.

3 stars, hope I can get 3.5.


It’s directed by Riley Stearns, whose first two films were awesome. So on that alone, 3.5 stars.

The Duke

In 1961, Kempton Bunton, a 60 year old taxi driver, steals Goya’s portrait of the Duke of Wellington from the National Gallery in London.

3 stars.

The Education of Fredrick Fitzell

After a chance encounter with a man forgotten from his youth, Fred literally and metaphorically journeys into his past.

Holdovers on thrillers are never good.

3 stars.

Eight for Silver

In rural 19th-century France, a mysterious, possibly supernatural menace threatens a small village. John McBride, a pathologist, comes to town to investigate the danger — and exorcise some of his own demons in the process.


3 stars.

El Tonto

A fool for love becomes an accidental celebrity only to lose it all.

There’s a lot of people in this, but the fact that it’s not out yet tells me just about all I need to know.

3 stars.

The Electrical Life of Louis Wain

English artist Louis Wain rises to prominence at the end of the 19th century for his surreal cat paintings.

It sure sounds weird. And I can blame the holdover on the pandemic.

Sure, let’s go 3.5 stars again. If it doesn’t come out this year, though, it’s gonna drop to 3.

Escape from Spiderhead

In the near future, convicts are offered the chance to volunteer as medical subjects to shorten their sentence. One such subject for a new drug capable of generating feelings of love begins questioning the reality of his emotions.

It’s from Joseph Kosinski, who alone makes this a 3.5 star guess. His films are always solid.

The Eternal Daughter

A middle-aged daughter and her elderly mother must confront long-buried secrets when they return to their former family home, a once-grand manor that has become a nearly vacant hotel brimming with mystery.

It’s a ghost story from the director of The Souvenir and starring Tilda Swinton. I mean, sure.

3 stars.

Every Breath You Take

A psychiatrist, whose client commits suicide, finds his family life disrupted after introducing her surviving brother to his wife and daughter.

It’s a thriller, which means my expectations are only gonna go so high, despite the cast.

3 stars.

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

Feature film adaptation of the musical about a teenager from Sheffield, England who wants to be a drag queen.

They kept pushing this off its date, which leads me to believe it’s probably not as good as maybe you might have thought otherwise.

3 stars. Let’s see if it’s any better.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

It’s about a 55-year-old Chinese woman trying to finish her taxes.

You question that synopsis until you realize this is being directed by the Daniels. And it sure seems like there’s gonna be lots of fighting and martial arts in this. So I’m totally in.

3.5 stars.

Falling for Figaro

A brilliant young fund manager leaves her unfulfilling job and long-term boyfriend to chase her lifelong dream of becoming an opera singer in the Scottish Highlands.

Oh you know exactly what you’re getting out of this and that might not be a bad thing.

3 stars, though charm could push it to 3.5.

The Fallout

High schooler Vada navigates the emotional fallout she experiences in the wake of a school tragedy. Relationships with her family, friends and view of the world are forever altered.

Sounds solid.

3.5 stars.

False Positive

As if getting pregnant weren’t complicated enough, Lucy sets out to uncover the unsettling truth about her fertility doctor.

Ilana Glazer co-wrote and stars. It’s horror though, so I’m not sure I’ll really care, but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

3 stars.

Fear Street

A murder mystery shakes up the town of Shadyside, Ohio. Feature adaptation of R.L. Stine’s book series.

So they shot three of these and are planning to release them one after the other, I’m guessing over the summer, June, July, August. That would make the most sense.

They seem like innocuous kids movies, so I’m sure they’ll be fine, and they feel unrelated rather than a direct sequel situation. An anthology set of films. So I’ll just give a blanket rating of 3 stars for the lot and see how they are.

First Date

After being conned into buying a shady ’65 Chrysler, Mike’s first date plans with girl-next-door Kelsey implode as he finds himself targeted by criminals, cops, and a crazy cat lady.

Sounds like one of those fun madcap indies.

3 stars.

Five Eyes

An agent is recruited by a global intelligence alliance to track down and stop the sale of a deadly weapons technology that threatens to disrupt the world order.

Guy Ritchie movie, so on that alone, I’m in.

3.5 stars.

Flag Day

A father lives a double life as a counterfeiter, bank robber and con man in order to provide for his daughter.

Sean Penn directs and the plot sounds fun.

3.5 stars.

The French Dispatch

A love letter to journalists set in an outpost of an American newspaper in a fictional twentieth century French city that brings to life a collection of stories published in “The French Dispatch Magazine”.

It’s Wes Anderson and that’s all I need to know.

4.5 stars.

The Georgetown Project

A troubled actor begins to unravel while shooting a horror film. His estranged daughter wonders if he’s slipping back into his past addictions or if there’s something more sinister at play.

Horror movie obviously based around The Exorcist. Starring Russell Crowe as he branches into genre movies.

I mean, sure.

3 stars.

The God Committee

An organ transplant committee has one hour to decide which of three patients deserves a life-saving heart. Seven years later, the committee members struggle with the consequences of that fateful decision.

This sounds interesting.

3 stars.

The Good House

Life for New England realtor Hildy Good begins to unravel when she hooks up with an old flame of hers from New York.

This is directed by Maya Forbes and Wallace Wolodarsky, and on them alone, 3.5 stars.

Their movies are always solid.

The Gray Man

In Europe, a CIA operative-turned-assassin looks to evade mysterious forces as he tries to save the lives of the daughters who don’t know he exists.

This is by the Russo brothers and stars like every famous person.

Let’s assume they got Cherry out of their system and are gonna tone that shit down and just make this a solid movie.

3.5 stars.

The Guilty

A demoted police officer assigned to a call dispatch desk is conflicted when he receives an emergency phone call from a kidnapped woman.

It’s a remake of that Swedish film from a few years ago, which was solid. Antoine Fuqua directs and Jake Gyllenhaal stars. They even got Nic Pizzolatto to write it.

Let’s assume the single location aspect and Gyllenhaal’s talents as an actor keep this to 3.5 stars. It could be 3 if they do too much with it, but if they just stick to what’s there, it should be compelling enough.

Gunpowder Milkshake

A secret sisterhood comes to the rescue of a mother-daughter assassin team.

Fun action movie. We know what we’re getting here.

3 stars.

Halo of Stars

Set against the backdrop of a small traveling circus, a clown and his young daughter lead each other through the everyday mysteries of love, magic and loss.

I feel like I know why this hasn’t come out yet, but I still kinda want to see it.

3 stars.

The Hand of God

 Set in Naples and said to be a very personal film.

It’s Paolo Sorrentino, and on his name alone, 3.5 stars.

The Harder They Fall

When an outlaw discovers his enemy is being released from prison, he reunites his gang to seek revenge in this Western.


Also — Idris Elba, LaKeith Stanfield, Regina King, Zazie Beetz, Jonathan Majors and Delroy Lindo.

Oh. Fuck. Yes.

4 stars.

Harry Haft

Post World War II, Harry Haft is a boxer who fought fellow prisoners in the concentration camps to survive. Haunted by memories and guilt, he attempts to use high-profile fights against boxing legends like Rocky Marciano as a way to find his first love again.

Barry Levinson directs and Ben Foster stars.

You know they’re gonna give this an awards push but the question is if it’s actually of that caliber or it’s just one of those deals where they just push it because it seems like something you’d push and it’ll actually hurt the film in the long run.

3.5 stars and let’s hope it’s great.

He’s All That

A teenage girl sets out to give a nebbish classmate the ultimate high school makeover.

Gender-swapped remake.

2.5 stars.

Don’t care.

Kudos to them for bringing Rachael Leigh Cook back though.

Here Are the Young Men

Dublin teenagers Matthew, nihilistic Rez, and the deranged Kearney, leave school to a social vacuum of drinking and drugs, falling into shocking acts of transgression.

3 stars.

Here Today

Here Today is a May-September romantic comedy – but without the romance. Veteran comedy writer Charlie Berns, who is slowly but surely losing his grip on reality, befriends a talented young New York street singer Emma Payge. Together, they form an unlikely yet hilarious and touching friendship that kicks the generation gap aside and redefines the meaning of love and trust.

Billy Crystal wrote, directed and stars in this, and I’m in on that alone.

3.5 stars.

A Hero

This is Asghar Farhadi, and that’s all I need.

3.5 stars.


To pay for her education, and the chance of a better life, a young woman joins a dangerous scrap metal crew.

3.5 stars.


An ex-felon returns home from prison and must confront the demons of his past.

Franka Potente directed this and it stars Kathy Bates, Aisling Franciosi, Lil Rel Howery and Stephen Root.

I mean, sure.

3 stars.

Sounds like the usual indie thing. Hopefully it’s solid.

How It Ends

On the last day on Earth, one woman goes on a journey through LA to make it to her last party before the world ends, running into an eclectic cast of characters along the way.

And it’s by Zoe Lister-Jones.

I’m in for this.

3.5 stars.

Hulk Hogan Biopic

The story of wrestling legend Hulk Hogan.


I think they’re shooting this soon, but I want to track every second of this.

Todd Phillips is directing and Hemsworth looks crazy shredded for this. I’m so down for this.

4.5 stars.

The Humans

Set inside a pre-war duplex in downtown Manhattan, The Humans follows the course of an evening in which the Blake family gathers to celebrate Thanksgiving. As darkness falls outside the crumbling building, mysterious things start to go bump in the night and family tensions reach a boiling point.

This is based on the play, which is supposed to be good.

Steven Yeun, Beanie Feldstein, June Squibb, Richard Jenkins, Amy Schumer star.

Okay then. Let’s do this.

3.5 stars.

I Was a Simple Man

A family in Hawai’i faces the imminent death of their eldest as the ghosts of the past haunt the countryside.

3 stars.

The Ice Road

After a remote diamond mine collapses in the far northern regions of Canada, an ice driver leads an impossible rescue mission over a frozen ocean to save the lives of trapped miners despite thawing waters and a threat they never see coming.

Liam Neeson action movie.

3 stars.

Ida Red

Ida Red may not survive her 20-year prison sentence for armed robbery. She turns to her son, Wyatt, for one last job and a chance to regain her freedom.

Damn. Melissa Leo, Josh Hartnett, Frank Grillo, Mark Boone Junior, Deborah Ann Woll, William Forsythe.

I like this cast.

I’ll watch the fuck out of this.

3 stars.


Two brothers embark on a journey with their father, who is trying to protect them from an alien threat.

I mean, sure. Stars Riz Ahmed, so that’s nice.

3 stars.

Italian Studies

This is by Adam Leon, whose last movie (Tramps) I loved.

3.5 stars, sight unseen.


An aging jockey aims for a final championship, when a rookie rider arrives claiming to be his son.

This sounds like it’s gonna be one of those really solid indies.

3.5 stars.

Joe Bell

The true story of a small town, working class father who embarks on a solo walk across the U.S. to crusade against bullying after his son is tormented in high school for being gay.

I can’t tell if this is gonna be solid or is just gonna be overly sappy.

It’s Wahlberg, and part of me feels like this might be a bit faith-based, which really concerns me.

But let’s give it the benefit of the doubt, especially since it was co-written by Larry McMurtry, and say 3.5 stars.

John and the Hole

A coming-of-age psychological thriller that plays out the unsettling reality of a kid who holds his family captive in a hole in the ground.

Well that sounds fucked up.

3 stars.


A bouncer with a slightly murderous anger-management problem that she controls with the help of an electrode-lined vest she uses to shock herself back to normalcy whenever she gets homicidal. After the first guy she’s ever fallen for is murdered, she goes on a revenge-fueled rampage to find the killer while the cops pursue her as their chief suspect.

Starring Kate Beckinsale. Okay then.

3 stars.

Oh, and Stanley Tucci is also in this.

The Justice of Bunny King

A triumph over adversity tale about women fighting their way back from the bottom of society.

Stars Thomasin McKenzie and Essie Davis. Should be good.

3 stars.


A female assassin has 24 hours to get vengeance on her murderer before she dies.

Female D.O.A. starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

So in.

3.5 stars.

Killers of the Flower Moon

Members of the Osage tribe in the United States are murdered under mysterious circumstances in the 1920s sparking a major F.B.I. investigation involving J. Edgar Hoover.
It’s Scorsese. I don’t need anything more than that.

4.5 stars.

Kilroy Was Here

A horror anthology centred around the phenomenon of the “Kilroy Was Here” graffiti.

Kevin Smith movie. No idea what this is, but let’s assume he gets this to 3 stars.

The Kissing Booth 3

It’s the summer before Elle Evans is set to head off to college, and she has a big decision to make.

Dear god, these movies really are just formula.

2.5 stars.

Kung Fury 2

The story will focus on Kung Fury’s universe with no real connection to the short movie other than the lead character.

Hell yeah.

3.5 stars.


A mother desperately races against time to save her child as authorities place her small town on lockdown.

Stars Naomi Watts. Directed by Philip Noyce. Seems appropriately generic.

3 stars.


When the aging Meyer Lansky is investigated one last time by the Feds who suspect he has stashed away millions of dollars over half a century, the retired gangster spins a dizzying tale, revealing the untold truth about his life as the notorious boss of Murder Inc. and the National Crime Syndicate.

3 tars.

Lapham Rising

Tells the story of Harry March, a retired writer whose life starts to unravel when a multimillionaire begins building a mansion across from his quiet island home in the Hamptons. Up until now, he has lived peacefully with his talking dog, Hector, a born-again Evangelical and unapologetic capitalist. To Harry, the gargantuan mansion represents the fetid and corrupt excess that has ruined modern civilization. Which means, quite simply, that this is war.

Okay then.

3 stars.

Last Looks

A disgraced ex-cop seeks solace by moving to the woods, but his quiet life comes to an end when a private eye recruits him to investigate a murder.

Stars Charlie Hunnam and Mel Gibson seems to be the bad guy.

3 stars. Sounds fun.

Last Letter from Your Lover

A young journalist in London becomes obsessed with a series of letters she discovers that recounts an intense star-crossed love affair from the 1960s.

This is from Augustine Frizzell, who did Never Goin’ Back, which I loved.

Stars Felicity Jones, Shailene Woodley, Joe Alwyn and Callum Turner.

The premise sounds corny, but part of me implicitly trusts Frizzell, who seems to have a real ‘fuck it’ kinda vibe which should hopefully keep this out of the usual genre trappings. But we’ll see.

The Last Mercenary

A mysterious former secret service agent must urgently return to France when his estranged son is falsely accused of arms and drug trafficking by the government, following a blunder by an overzealous bureaucrat and a mafia operation.

Netflix Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

Oh hell yeah. They’ve branched out here too.

3 stars.

This sounds terrible. I can’t wait.


Plot unknown. The film explores the political and social modernity of Mexico.

This is Alejandro Inarritu’s new film. So on his name alone, 4 stars. Hope it goes higher.

Little Mermaid

Live-action Little Mermaid. We, of course, don’t need this, but it was inevitable. Kudos to them on a Black Ariel, with Halle Bailey, and otherwise I’m sure it’ll be watchable.

3 stars is the guess, 3.5 is the max on this if they somehow pull this off nicely. Otherwise I have no faith in this to be any better than all the other live action remakes that were, at best, unnecessary but at least did some cool things technologically.

The Lost Daughter

A woman’s beach vacation takes a dark turn when she begins to confront the troubles of her past.

Maggie Gyllenhaal directed this. Stars Olivia Colman, Dakota Johnson, Jessie Buckley, Peter Skarsgard and Ed Harris.

I mean, fuck it. 3.5 stars. Cast has to mean something.

Love Hard

A woman travels to her online date’s hometown to surprise him for Christmas, but he’s another guy who’s catfished her. He offers to set her up with her crush, if she pretends to be his girlfriend for the holidays.

Netflix movie. Can’t assume anything more than 2.5 stars here.

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