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Mike’s Movie Reviews

2017: The Year in Reviews (Part I)

We’re a quarter of the way into 2017 and that can only mean one thing — I’ve already given up and started day drinking. Oh, but, movies-wise it means it’s time for my first batch of reviews. Covering everything I’ve seen between January and now. Last year, it magically worked out to where I didn’t skip a single movie. This year… not so much. But that’s good, since I have other stuff to work on.

You know how this works — initial ratings and thoughts that will go toward wrapping everything up in December. Another batch will be posted at the end of August and one more will be posted right before we close out the year.

Here’s what I got for everything I’ve seen so far in 2017: (more…)

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2016: The Year in Reviews (Part III)

Here they are, the final batch of 2016 reviews. This is for all the films from September through now.

The big note here is that there are still films to come out over the next two weeks. Those reviews will be put directly into the reviews articles for their specific months. I’ll be very clear about which ones I’ve yet to see as we get there.

After this, we start all the reviews articles tomorrow, running through the next two weeks.

Here’s the final batch of reviews for 2016: (more…)


2016: The Year in Reviews (Part II)

Time for my second batch of reviews. This is covering all the films I saw between May and now.

Pretty simple, I gather a list of all the films I saw in each third of the year and write up reviews for them. This makes it easier for me come December (and documents what I thought, to keep everything above board), and allows me to see how my thoughts have changed after initial watches.

The final set of reviews will go up in December just before the end of the year review articles.

Let’s get right into the reviews, since I know you’re all excited to know how much I loved Warcraft: (more…)


2016: The Year in Reviews (Part I)

Damn, it’s May already. And time for our first batch of reviews of the films I’ve seen this year so far.

Pretty simple, I gather a list of all the films I saw in each third of the year and write up reviews for them. This makes it easier for me come December (and documents what I thought, to keep everything above board), and allows me to see how my thoughts have changed after initial watches.

The next set of reviews will go up in August and the final set will go up just before the end of the year review articles.

Here’s the first set of reviews of the films of 2016: (more…)


Mike Watches Fifty Shades of Grey

Sometimes a movie comes along that deserves a write up.

I started watching this movie back in February and pretty quickly realized I had to write it up as I watched it, otherwise there was no point. It was really the only way I was gonna get through it. I’m not sure if that was a good idea or not. But we’ll find out.

I doubt this movie will end up Unforgivable at the end of the year, because honestly, they capitalized on a cash cow. I didn’t fault Twilight for the same thing, so why would I fault this? It’s a terrible movie, sure, but I’m fine with them making all the money. So this write-up isn’t to get a jump on the Unforgivables list. It’s purely based on just me watching it and deciding to write what I’m thinking as I watch.

So here’s what happens when I watch Fifty Shades of Grey: (more…)


2015: The Year in Reviews (Part I)

It’s time for the first batch of reviews.

We all know I watch a lot of films this year. And at the end of each year, I recap them all and see, based on what I said about them at the beginning of the year, how close I ended up being. But also, in between, I make it easier on myself by putting up reviews so I don’t have to remember 300 some-odd movies all at once.

I put up three sets of articles — one in April, one in August, one in December, right before the recap articles start going up. Very simple. Just reviews of everything I’ve seen so far, and telling you what I’ve yet to see, or won’t be seeing. This list in particular will have a bunch of 2014 movies on it that I saw too late to bother including on the 2014 list.

So here is the first part of my year in reviews: (more…)


Five-Word Movie Reviews of the Films of 2014

I got this idea during the year. I think it was when I wrote my review of Gimme Shelter. I won’t ruin it here, but as I wrote it, I realized it was a very succinct five word review of the movie. And then I thought, “I wonder if I could do that for every movie…” That’s how it starts with me. And now here we are.

Of course, not all of them are serious. In fact, I devolve into jokes pretty quickly. But they are a lot of fun to do. And they test your ability to be accurate and succinct. Or accurate, funny and succinct.

In case you don’t know what five word reviews are (which, it should be obvious), it stems from the six-word short story, and that famous tale that Ernest Hemingway bet everyone he was drinking with ten dollars he could write a short story in six words. And he wrote: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” This is a movie version of that. Examples of five word movie reviews are: The Wizard of Oz — There’s No Place Like Home; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — Burton, Taylor Drink, and Argue; and one of my personal best: Atonement — This Cunt Ruined Our Lives.

I think you get the idea. It’s pretty simple. And I thought it would be fun to do them for the entire year that is 2014. Which of course will most likely make it a recurring feature here on the blog. So, without further delay, here are five word movie reviews of all the films I saw in 2014: (more…)