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Mike’s Movie Reviews

2016: The Year in Reviews (Part III)

Here they are, the final batch of 2016 reviews. This is for all the films from September through now.

The big note here is that there are still films to come out over the next two weeks. Those reviews will be put directly into the reviews articles for their specific months. I’ll be very clear about which ones I’ve yet to see as we get there.

After this, we start all the reviews articles tomorrow, running through the next two weeks.

Here’s the final batch of reviews for 2016: (more…)

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2016: The Year in Reviews (Part II)

Time for my second batch of reviews. This is covering all the films I saw between May and now.

Pretty simple, I gather a list of all the films I saw in each third of the year and write up reviews for them. This makes it easier for me come December (and documents what I thought, to keep everything above board), and allows me to see how my thoughts have changed after initial watches.

The final set of reviews will go up in December just before the end of the year review articles.

Let’s get right into the reviews, since I know you’re all excited to know how much I loved Warcraft: (more…)


2016: The Year in Reviews (Part I)

Damn, it’s May already. And time for our first batch of reviews of the films I’ve seen this year so far.

Pretty simple, I gather a list of all the films I saw in each third of the year and write up reviews for them. This makes it easier for me come December (and documents what I thought, to keep everything above board), and allows me to see how my thoughts have changed after initial watches.

The next set of reviews will go up in August and the final set will go up just before the end of the year review articles.

Here’s the first set of reviews of the films of 2016: (more…)


Mike Watches Fifty Shades of Grey

Sometimes a movie comes along that deserves a write up.

I started watching this movie back in February and pretty quickly realized I had to write it up as I watched it, otherwise there was no point. It was really the only way I was gonna get through it. I’m not sure if that was a good idea or not. But we’ll find out.

I doubt this movie will end up Unforgivable at the end of the year, because honestly, they capitalized on a cash cow. I didn’t fault Twilight for the same thing, so why would I fault this? It’s a terrible movie, sure, but I’m fine with them making all the money. So this write-up isn’t to get a jump on the Unforgivables list. It’s purely based on just me watching it and deciding to write what I’m thinking as I watch.

So here’s what happens when I watch Fifty Shades of Grey: (more…)


2015: The Year in Reviews (Part I)

It’s time for the first batch of reviews.

We all know I watch a lot of films this year. And at the end of each year, I recap them all and see, based on what I said about them at the beginning of the year, how close I ended up being. But also, in between, I make it easier on myself by putting up reviews so I don’t have to remember 300 some-odd movies all at once.

I put up three sets of articles — one in April, one in August, one in December, right before the recap articles start going up. Very simple. Just reviews of everything I’ve seen so far, and telling you what I’ve yet to see, or won’t be seeing. This list in particular will have a bunch of 2014 movies on it that I saw too late to bother including on the 2014 list.

So here is the first part of my year in reviews: (more…)


Five-Word Movie Reviews of the Films of 2014

I got this idea during the year. I think it was when I wrote my review of Gimme Shelter. I won’t ruin it here, but as I wrote it, I realized it was a very succinct five word review of the movie. And then I thought, “I wonder if I could do that for every movie…” That’s how it starts with me. And now here we are.

Of course, not all of them are serious. In fact, I devolve into jokes pretty quickly. But they are a lot of fun to do. And they test your ability to be accurate and succinct. Or accurate, funny and succinct.

In case you don’t know what five word reviews are (which, it should be obvious), it stems from the six-word short story, and that famous tale that Ernest Hemingway bet everyone he was drinking with ten dollars he could write a short story in six words. And he wrote: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” This is a movie version of that. Examples of five word movie reviews are: The Wizard of Oz — There’s No Place Like Home; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — Burton, Taylor Drink, and Argue; and one of my personal best: Atonement — This Cunt Ruined Our Lives.

I think you get the idea. It’s pretty simple. And I thought it would be fun to do them for the entire year that is 2014. Which of course will most likely make it a recurring feature here on the blog. So, without further delay, here are five word movie reviews of all the films I saw in 2014: (more…)


2014: The Year in Reviews (Films That Didn’t Get Released)

So we went over everything that came out (most of which I saw, if you couldn’t tell). Now we’re gonna go over what didn’t.

This list is populated predominantly with indies that weren’t given release dates, many of which will end up on VOD at some point over the next year, films I’ve been tracking for over a year that still haven’t come out, or movies that got pushed into the new year, probably because of quality issues. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in some cases. Because it allows me to reevaluate. I can decide if I want to keep paying attention to it or drop it altogether.

These are all movies that either had dates and got moved, or are ones I talked about back in January that still haven’t come out. I’ll remind you what it’s about, tell you what the status of it is, and decide whether or not I want to continue paying attention to it for next year’s Film Release Calendar.

Here are the films of 2014 that didn’t get released: (more…)