Posts tagged “Review

The Movie Year in Review (The Final Third)

Back in April, I posted mini-reviews of all the 2011 films I’d seen up to that point. You can read that here. In August, I posted the second part. You can read that here. This is the third part. For reminder purposes…

I try to see everything that comes out. I believe that if you love movies, you should be open to seeing anything and believe you can get something out of any movie. You never know when a terrible movie will have something to teach you (however minor), even if it’s what not to do. Also, since I have this wonderful narcissism enabler, why wouldn’t I post what I thought of all the films I saw for people to read?

Not to mention, in like a week, I’m going to post the official Year in Review articles, where I go over everything. Back in January, I previewed what I thought I’d think about all the movies, as they were scheduled at that time. I’ll compare what I thought I’d think with what I actually thought, as well as what films changed dates, weren’t released at all, and what have you. These reviews are easy reference for that. I just posted them throughout the year because it was more topical to post them around when the films were released. (more…)


The Movie Year in Review (2/3 of the Way Through)

Don’t you love it when things rhyme?

Back in April, I posted an article where I reviewed all the films of 2011 (until that point) that I’d seen. As I always say, I do try to see everything that comes out. Or at least most of it. This year, I’m more lenient than I had been in the past. Either way, chances are, if a film came out (especially in wide release), I saw it. And if I saw it, and have this wonderful medium through which we as a people can feed our narcissism and put forth our opinions regardless of whether or not anyone cares about it, why wouldn’t I write up my thoughts on it?

I’m breaking up these articles into thirds for the year just to make it easier on myself come January. There’s no way I’m going to want to write up reviews on everything I saw throughout the year, then going back and doing what I’d planned on doing, which is compare what I actually thought about the films against what I thought I’d think about the films this past January when I wrote all those Release Calendar articles. That would be way too much work (and seriously, you don’t know how lazy I am). So I’m clearing out the cache every four months, making my future life easier as well as breaking up the constant stream of Oscar Quest articles.

This article will focus on every film I saw that came out after the April article was posted (so, post-April 24th), as well as a couple that were released earlier that I didn’t get around to seeing until after I posted that first article. But mostly these are all films from May through August. (more…)


The Movie Year in Review (So Far)

I figured this would be an optimal time to review all that’s come out since the year started. After all, we are a third of the way through it.

Remember when I said at the beginning of this blog that I see everything that comes out? I wasn’t lying. I do actually try to see everything that comes out. Though unlike last year, where I literally saw everything that came out, this year I’m more involved with my Oscar Quest. And I have other shit to do. This isn’t college, there isn’t as much free time to waste. Plus, why do I need to see everything? 95% is just as good, especially when, with the other 5%, I’m not interested in them, and I already know what I’d think about them if I did see them. For example, here’s a list of the films of 2011 (so far) that I’ve yet to see, and in all likelihood will not see:

The Rite (I think we all know what the score is here. I hate horror movies, and I don’t think anyone will ever ask, “Hey, did you see that?” And if they do, it’s because they’re trying to be a dick because I said I see “everything” and they’re trying to find something I haven’t seen. We know it’s a shitty horror movie, and that’s that), Sanctum (yeah, a 3D spelunking movie. I’m sure no one will even remember this movie even exists. In fact, did you even remember this movie came out until I mentioned it? I rest my case), The Eagle (sword and sandal movie. Too much sword. Therefore not interested. I wanted more sandal), Beastly (fucking really?), Mars Needs Moms (generic, forgettable kids movie. Don’t need to see it to know that), Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 (haven’t seen the first one, so, I’ll leave it to the kids), Insidious (horror movie. Do not care), Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (if I wanted to watch unfunny black people stereotypes, I’ll watch white people movies), and African Cats (just because, nature documentary. They’re all the same. These ones are more manipulative). Oh yeah, the Bieber movie too. But are we actually counting that as a movie?

See what I mean? Is there anything on there I really need to see? No. I’m not interested in them. They’re all forgettable, and even if they’re bad, I know they won’t be bad enough to make my Unforgivables list. So there’s no point in seeing them at all. Unless of course someone tells me I should, either because it’s “not that bad” or because “it might actually be worth putting on the Unforgivables.” I’m about 90% certain none of these films will qualify in either of those categories.

(more…)


Tron: Legacy, and What Is Wrong with Movies Today (Part 3)

Hey, Tron is back. I decided to take more than those couple of days off on this. Just because, like all things, once I’m done with them, I cease to be interested in them. I move onto the next thing. Sure, I’ll go back and revisit thing again and be like, “Ah, this is why I like this,” but, once I’m finished with something — especially something I’ve written — I’m no longer interested in it. Which, poses a problem when it’s something you’re technically not finished with.

I wrote those first two — which, here’s Part I and here’s Part II, just so you’re not confused — and just lost interest in it. I should have kept going continuously, perhaps this entry would have been more interesting. But, this will be like the Godfather III of the bunch. But, when it’s done, we’re done. So, you got that going for you.

It took a few days to get back up to speed on this. At first I didn’t want to continue, but, I figured kind of had to. I had that feeling of being out on the shaky drawbridge without a parachute (hear that, Sam? Without a parachute), of, “Am I doing the right thing?” Then I thought, “Fuck it.” As I often do. So we’re gonna continue to the bitter end. Which is what I say every time I finish a Manhattan.

There are bitters in a Manhattan. Just checking.

When we last left Tron: Legacy (not Tron. Still checking.), we hadn’t even gotten onto the Grid just yet. Sam had just pulled his whole Encom stunt and had gotten “arrested.” This “arrest” lasts for about — oh, I don’t know, how many frames does it take to transition from one scene to the next? That many. (more…)


Tron: Legacy, and What Is Wrong with Movies Today (Part 2)

Today’s the day we actually start the analysis on Tron. Tron: Legacy. Not just Tron. That would be weird, analyzing a film from almost thirty years ago. That would be like analyzing a film from the 40s or something. Fucked up, right?

Anyway, I’ll be analyzing Tron: Legacy today. I was going to italicize Legacy to show that it was to be inflected, but, it was already italicized. So I’m just telling you after the fact, because then when you read it later you’d know the correct way to say it. Those last two had no meaning whatsoever. I just felt I got robbed out of using italics when I wanted to use it. Then I used it the second time to show you what it was supposed to look like even though it wasn’t supposed to have the inflection on it. I’m all about the equilibrium.

Yesterday was like that first day of classes where the professor is like, “Well, we can’t really do anything, so let’s just state core concepts and go over the syllabus. Then we’ll start the work next time.” It’s my favorite class of all (next to the last one). I think I did a good job getting the points across (hopefully I repeated myself just enough to make you feel like I was beating you over the head with my points. Because that’s what it feels like to me when I watch these films). Now, let’s get into the film itself.

(more…)


Tron: Legacy, and What Is Wrong with Movies Today (Part 1)

Notice the comma. This is not an attack on Tron, but rather a review of it, and an analysis of what is wrong with movies today. I’m merely using the film as a jumping-off point.

I could never write an article like this about a movie I didn’t enjoy. Because just simply berating a piece of shit movie is fun, but it doesn’t lend itself to heavy analysis. Not that what I’m doing is either analysis or heavy. Though I guess by definition this actually is analysis. Suck it, Freud. (more…)