Posts tagged “Unforgivable Films of 2013

The Unforgivable Films of 2013

It’s time to go over the shit. The darkest before the dawn. That moment you scrub all the crusted stuff off the plate with the brillo pad before you can give it that nice wash to make it clean. Because before I can go over the best films of the year, I have to go over the worst.

It’s time for the Unforgivables list.

The Unforgivables list started pretty unintentionally. Over the summer of 2010, I was home from college, just starting my Oscar Quest, and generally being a lazy individual. I was filling time watching all the 2010 movies I’d missed and had sat down to watch a movie called The Switch. (It’s the movie where Jason Bateman spills Jennifer Aniston’s artificial insemination jizz and fills the cup up himself and fathers her child. You know, like Citizen Kane.) And while watching that movie, I got so unbelievably mad that I had to pause the movie and send an angry message to all of my friends, warning them to never watch the movie. And it turned into a pretty hilarious angry rant, which became legend among my friends. (You can read the rant, as well as all my Unforgivables lists here.) Fast forward to six months later, I’m starting the blog and I figure I might as well begin it with a list of my favorite films of the previous year. And then I was quickly asked by a friend, “Are you gonna berate the shitty ones, too?”

Which is what I did. My first article was a top ten list, and my second article was an Unforgivables list. I got to reuse that Switch rant, and come up with a few more. And since then, it’s become an annual tradition for me, berating a bunch of movies that made me angry but comically exaggerating my hatred for them. It’s led to some pretty amusing little rants. (more…)