This is the Bruce Wayne to my Batman. Or the Batman to my Bruce Wayne. Depending which side of the schizophrenia you think is the normal one.
Always on the final day of the year, I post my Top Ten list. But, the day before, we post this. The Razzies to my Oscars, the Hugo to my Bart, the bear to my Leonardo DiCaprio. This is the Unforgivables list. The list of films that I fucking hated this year.
This is the 9th Annual Unforgivables list. The tradition began when I saw the movie The Switch in 2010 (Bateman, Aniston, jizz cup) and got so mad while watching it I wrote up a Jerry Maguire memo to tell them how awful it was and how they should never see it. And it went over so well, I decided to start doing it every year. Other previous ‘winners’ since The Switch have been Just Go With It (2011), Big Miracle (2012), Identity Thief (2013), Heaven Is For Real (2014), Vacation (2015), Batman v. Superman (2016) and most recently, The Emoji Movie (2017).
This year is an interesting year in that I wasn’t overly in love with most movies. I liked a lot of stuff, but there was nothing I had really strong feelings for. And, now that I watch so much stuff each year, my feelings often tend to fall toward the middle with a lot of things. I don’t hate things as much as I used to. Of course, every year by Thanksgiving I tell myself I can’t come up with a top ten list or an Unforgivables list, and yet every year, we manage. But this year I was interested to see where the hatred would lay, since in recent years I’ve moved away from the obvious Adam Sandler/Melissa McCarthy movies at the top and gone more toward studio stuff with no soul. I’ve started going into these lists by wiping the slate clean. Doesn’t matter what I rated something, doesn’t matter what I previously thought of something. If I feel it should be on, it’s on. (more…)
I think you guys know what this is by now. The tens of you who read this look forward to this day, don’t you?
On December 31st every year, I post my Top Ten list. On December 30th, however, it’s something else entirely. If the Top Ten list is the Oscars of this site, the Unforgivables list is the Razzies. Or the Indie Spirit Awards. Rather than wearing tuxes and being all formal, we’re all getting shit-faced in a tent somewhere, ranting about how our childhoods were ruined and how Adam Sandler is a piece of shit now.
I always like to begin with two notes. First, this list began in 2010, when I saw the movie The Switch (Bateman, Aniston, jizz cup) and was so angry at what I was watching that I stopped the movie to write up an angry rant about it, which was so well-received that it became tradition. This is the 8th Annual Unforgivables List. Previous ‘winners’ (on top of The Switch, of course) include: Batman v. Superman (2016), Vacation (2015), Heaven Is For Real (2014), Identity Thief (2013), Big Miracle (2012) and Just Go With It (2011).
And second, for what you’re all sure are the stringent criteria for inclusion on this list — one thing. Just one thing. The movie has to make me angry while I watch it. That’s it. I could enjoy the movie. But if it pisses me off, it’s a contender. Last year, Suicide Squad made the list. I was fine with it. I even enjoyed small parts of it. But it made me angry on a bunch of different levels (not to mention it being post-Batman v. Superman, which made me so angry I began writing up its Unforgivable entry in April. Which you can check out here, because it may be some of my best work), so it made it on.
Oh, the other ‘rules’, I guess you can call them: 1) no sequels, and 2) no films we all knew would be shitty to begin with. So as much as you all wanna assume Monster Trucks was gonna make it on (and yes, that was this year. I know it was a while ago), that’s not what this is about. (more…)