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Pic of the Day: “You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work… Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.”
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Pic of the Day: “Your Reverence, I did see her.” “Yes, my child, you did. And you will see her again.” “Perhaps I haven’t suffered enough.” “You’ve suffered enough, my child, for the Heaven of Heavens.”
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Pic of the Day: “You’re in the hospital. You almost died.” “I bet that didn’t surprise anybody.”
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Pic of the Day: “And now the British think I’m with the Irish, and the Irish think I’m with the British. The long and short of it is I’m walkin’ around without a dog to lick my trousers!”
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Pic of the Day: “Forget it! I’m stayin’ right where I am. It’s gonna take you and the police department and the fire department and the National Guard to get me outta here!”
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Pic of the Day: “I want my leg.” “Why?” “I want my leg!” “Why? You can’t feel it no how!” “It’s my leg! I want my leg, you understand? Can’t you understand that? All’s I’m sayin’ is that I want to be treated like a human being! I fought for my country! I am a Vietnam veteran! I fought for my country! And I think that I deserve to be treated… decent!”
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Pic of the Day: “Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?” “No, no, that’s too limited… nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can’t even set you up for a commercial. You played a tomato for 30 seconds, they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn’t sit down.” “Of course. It was illogical.” “YOU WERE A TOMATO. A tomato doesn’t have logic. A tomato can’t move.” “That’s what I said. So if he can’t move, how’s he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like me. I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber… I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass.”
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Pic of the Day: “You really like animals don’t you, Ken? What’s the attraction.” “Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don’t sh-sh-sh-sh-” “Shit on you?” “Show off all the t-time.”
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Pic of the Day: “You think just because you made a little money you can get a new hairdo and some expensive clothes and turn yourself into a lady. But you can’t, because you’ll never be anything but a common frump whose father lived over a grocery store and whose mother took in washing.”
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Pic of the Day: “Always remember your promise to me. Never let nobody or nothing turn you into no cripple.”
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Pic of the Day: “Oooh fuuudge!” “Only I didn’t say ‘fudge.’ I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!”
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Pic of the Day: “Who is down there with you, Mary?” “It’s George Bailey, mother.” “George Bailey? What does he want?” “I don’t know! What do you want?” “Me? Nothing! I just came in to get warm.” “He’s making violent love to me, mother!”
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Pic of the Day: “Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet.” “I didn’t send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown.” “Don’t you know sarcasm when you hear it?”
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Pic of the Day: “My speech! Here’s my Christmas speech. Ahem. Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.” “That was the speech?” “It was dumb!” “It was obvious!” “It was pointless!” “It was… short!” “I loved it!”
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Pic of the Day: “Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head… hey, I can dream, can’t I?”
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Pic of the Day: “As the Grinch took the tree, as he started to shove, he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who. Little Cindy Lou Who, who was no more than two. She stared at the Grinch and said…” “Santie Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?” “But do you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, that he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.” “Why my sweet little tot…” “The fake Santie Claus lied…” “…there’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side. So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I’ll fix it up there, then I’ll bring it back here.”
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Pic of the Day: “You’re not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin?” “No, for three reasons: A, I’m not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”
