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Pic of the Day: “What do you mean, get him outta here?” “Take him to the car.” “In case you didn’t notice I’m a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, hmm?” “That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment ’cause you’re handicapped. You’re all the same.” “Special treatment? I’m 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It’s a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?” “Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!” “Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.” “What’d you call me, thigh-high?” “I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!” “I could stick you up my ass, small fry.” “Yeah? You sure it ain’t too sore from last night?” “You got some lip on you, midget.” “Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife’s pussy last night. Why don’t you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!”
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Pic of the Day: “You guys are nothing but a bunch of sleazy conmen in red suits.” “What did you call us?” “You heard me right. Conmen. Thieves. Degenerates. Low-lifes. Thugs. Criminals!” “At the North Pole, them are fightin’ words, partner.”
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Pic of the Day: “Looks like the end of the line!” “Until tomorrow. When it happens all over again.”
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Pic of the Day: “Who’s that guy?” “What guy?” “The guy on the cross.” “Jesus!” “Oh, Jesus.” “Stop it.” “Oh, Jesus Christ.” “Is that what they think we did to him?” “Yeah.” “Can you tell I’m Jewish?” “Yes.” “How?” “Your fucking sweater.”
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Pic of the Day: “You surprised to see us, Clark?” “Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
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Pic of the Day: “Toys are hereby declared illegal, immoral, unlawful AND anyone found with a toy in his possession will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon!”
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Pic of the Day: “I was a captain of industry. Feared by men, adored by women.” “Adored… Let’s be honest Lou, you paid for the women.”
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Pic of the Day: “What about Santa’s reindeer? Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?” “Yes.” “Well, I haven’t.” “Have you ever seen a million dollars?” “No.” “Just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
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Pic of the Day: “Let me just pop it in the box. There.” “Look, can we be quite quick?” “Certainly sir. Ready in the flashiest of flashes! … There.” “That’s great.” “Not quite finished…” “Actually, I don’t need a bag, I’ll just put it in my pocket.” “Oh this isn’t a bag, sir.” “Really?” “This is SO much more than a bag…”
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Pic of the Day: “I tell you Max, I don’t know why I ever leave this place. I’ve got all the company I need right here…. Hello?” “Hello.” “How are you?” “How are you?” “I asked you first.” “I asked you first.” “Oh right, that’s REALLY mature, saying exactly what I say.” “…Saying exactly what I say.” “I’m an idiot!” “You’re an idiot!” “Alright fine! I’m not talking to you anymore! In fact, I’m going to whisper! So that by the time my voice reverbarates off the walls, and gets back to me, I won’t be able to hear it.” “…You’re an idiot!”
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Pic of the Day: “Holly? Oh, there you are! You locked your best friend in a box and just ran off. Now how are you going to feel when poor Charles grows up and has to join a support group?”
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Pic of the Day: “What do you want with me?” “You will be haunted by three spirits.” “I’d rather not.”
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Pic of the Day: “Since the United States Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute it. Case dismissed.”
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Pic of the Day: “None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it, kill everything and everybody we know. United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “What’s the secret, Max?” “The secret?” “Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.” “The secret, I don’t know… I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then… do it for the rest of your life. For me, it’s going to Rushmore.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “So if your Mom is my Mom and my Dad is your Dad… and we’re both born on October 11th, then you and I are… like… sisters.” “Sisters? Hallie, we’re like twins!” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I’m a schoolteacher. I teach English composition… in this little town called Adley, Pennsylvania. The last eleven years, I’ve been at Thomas Alva Edison High School. I was a coach of the baseball team in the springtime. Back home, I tell people what I do for a living and they think well, now that figures. But over here, it’s a big, a big mystery. So, I guess I’ve changed some. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve changed so much my wife is even going to recognize me, whenever it is that I get back to her. And how I’ll ever be able to tell her about days like today. Ah, Ryan. I don’t know anything about Ryan. I don’t care. The man means nothing to me. It’s just a name. But if… You know if going to Rumelle and finding him so that he can go home. If that earns me the right to get back to my wife, then that’s my mission.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.” “Walter…” “You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain.” “I’m not…” “A world of pain.” “Dude, he’s your partner…” “Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!” (20th Anniversary)
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