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Pic of the Day: “Customs had said to Billy and the gang, ‘You need to pay us $175,000 in cash today for us to release the water.’ I went down… well, Billy called me. I’m gonna speak completely, you know… this won’t go that far, I’m sure, but… Billy called and said, ‘Andy, we need you to take one big thing for the team.’ And I said, ‘My gosh, I’ve been taking something for the team every day.’ He said, ‘Well, you’re our wonderful gay leader, and we need you to go down. Will you suck dick to fix this water problem?’ And I said, ‘Billy, what?’ And he said, ‘Andy, if you will go down and suck Cunningham’s dick, who’s the head of Customs, and get him to clear all of the containers with water, you will save this festival.’ And I literally drove home, took a shower, I drank some mouthwash. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m really…’ And I got into my car to drive across the island to take one for the team… and I got to his office, fully prepared to suck his dick.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You want the good news or the bad news?” “The bad news, always.” “All right. We installed the 450 radial, but the struts won’t take the vibration. The minute we fire her up, the struts start cracking at the attach points.” “What’s the good news?” “There isn’t any.”
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Pic of the Day: “So here’s the riddle. What does an eight thousand pound mako shark with a brain the size of a flat head V8 engine and no natural predators think about?” “Well, I’m not waiting around here to find out!” (25th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I want three volunteers to go out on a patrol, you, you, and you. You’re in charge, Holley.” “Why am I always volunteering for patrols? I’m just a cowboy.” (75th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You hocked a Hattori Hanzo Sword?” “Yep.” “It was priceless.” “Well, not in El Paso, it ain’t. In El Paso I got me $250 for it.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Oh, this is heavy, Doc. I mean, it’s like I was just here yesterday.” “You were here yesterday, Marty.” (35th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you?” “We’d kill each other.” “Nonsense!” “Neither of us can keep our temper-” “I can, unless provoked.” “We’re both stupidly stubborn, especially you. We’d only quarrel!” “I wouldn’t!” “You can’t even propose without quarreling.” (30th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I would rather you all become happy wives to poor men or even respectable old maids, than queens on thrones without peace or self-respect.” (75th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “If wearing hair up means becoming a lady, I’ll wear it down until I’m 100 years old.” (90th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Number 25 is my best ever, the quintessence of life, I think. I trust you’ll get it where it needs to go, you always do.” (10th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “What did we learn, Palmer?” “I don’t know, sir.” “I don’t fuckin’ know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.” “Yes, sir.” “I’m fucked if I know what we did.” “Yes, sir, it’s, uh, hard to say” “Jesus Fucking Christ.” (15th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I gotta be going on.” “Why, Shane?” “A man has to be what he is, Joey. Can’t break the mould. I tried it and it didn’t work for me.” “We want you, Shane.” “Joey, there’s no living with… with a killing. There’s no going back from one. Right or wrong, it’s a brand. A brand sticks. There’s no going back. Now you run on home to your mother, and tell her… tell her everything’s all right. And there aren’t any more guns in the valley.” (70th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “How could you do this to us after everything we’ve done for you?” “Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn’t both get rich and put y’all in the poor house at the same time. He didn’t think we could do it. I won.” (35th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I’ve been to New York thousands of times.” “Really?” “Mm-hmm.” “What’s it like?” “Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn’t free candy.” “Oh.” “Second, there are, like, thirty Ray’s Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one’s on 11th. And if you see a sign that says “Peep Show”, that doesn’t mean that they’re letting you look at presents before Christmas.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “What are their names?” “Who?” “The Elves.” “Shit, I can’t remember, I think one of them is Sneezy and there’s a Dopey…” “That’s the seven dwarfs!” “You’re shittin’ me? I thought… I was thinking there was a… I don’t know! Fuck, kid. I just call them you know Bub, I call them… I say hey Bub or Chief or whatever the fuck, I tell them to make the god dammed toys. What the FUCK is wrong with you? I can’t remember this shit. Does everything with you have to be a fucking test?” “How old are they?” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Why do I always think gettin’ you home for Life Day is gonna be easy?” (45th Anniversary)
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