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Pic of the Day: “What are you, darling? Where’s your costume?” “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.”
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Pic of the Day: “What is the verdict?” “Guilty, Your Grace.” “All of them?” “Guilty.” (50th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “These men are detectives, Mr. Warne.” “I don’t care if they’re the whole police department. They can’t come busting in here, shooting questions at my wife.” “Now, don’t get so excited, Peter. The man just asked a civil question.” “Oh, is that so? Say, how many times have I told you to stop butting in when I’m having an argument?” “Well, you don’t have to lose your temper!”” ’You don’t have to lose your temper’. That’s what you said the other time, too. Every time I try to protect you. The other night, at the Elks Dance, when that big Swede made a pass at you!” “He didn’t make a pass at me! I told you a million times!” “Oh, no? I saw him. He kept pawing you all over the dance floor!” ”He didn’t! You were drunk!” “Aw, nuts! You’re just like your old man! Once a plumber’s daughter, always a plumbers daughter! There isn’t an ounce of brains in your whole family!” “Oh, Peter Warne, you’ve gone far enough! I won’t stand for it anymore!” “Aw, shut up!” “Now, you see what you’ve done?” (85th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Sweet princess, if through this wicked witch’s trick, a spindle should your finger prick… a ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee. Not in death, but just in sleep, the fateful prophecy you’ll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love’s kiss, the spell shall break.” (60th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Here’s a wire from the New York office. They don’t like the title, ‘Romeo and Juliet’, so they’ve changed it. And how they’ve changed it!” “Changed ‘Romeo and Juliet’? But, they can’t do that!” “They can’t, but, they have!” “What are they going to call it?” “‘The Neckers’.” (90th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Why should I go with you? Don’t you hear them down there? Why should I give that up?” “They’ll want more now. They want much more. They want more than you could ever give.” “I’ll give them whatever they want.” (45th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You are staring at me. It’s a hairpiece! It’s a piece.” “It’s – I’m sorry. No, it’s just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen.” “I just saw Eddie Van Halen.” “Nuh-uh.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “Wow.” “Where?” “The Hollywood Bowl.” “And how was he?” “He’s a zombie.” “Aw. Tough break.” (10th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “It’s funny to think that just a year ago, I sat in that Knightsbridge Pub actually planning to murder her. And I might have done it, if I hadn’t seen something that changed my mind.” “Well? What did you see?” “I saw you.” (65th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Why are you stealing food?” “I was just, uh, noticing that you’re out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.” “Gee, well, you know, it’s free. You don’t have to steal it.” “Well, if it’s free, then I ain’t stealin’.” (50th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I’ve come to warn you. You’re in great danger.” “I usually am.” (45th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Did you love my old man?” “Love’s not for the poor, son. No time for it.” (75th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You will marry me when it’s over, won’t you, Jane? You won’t be mad at me because I didn’t marry you now?” “Of course I won’t be mad. But you take care of yourself.” “I will.” “You write to me.” “I will. You do understand, don’t you?” “I think so.” “You know it’s because I wouldn’t want you to be… well, you know, if anything happened to me…”A widow, you mean.” “Well, yes, but not only that. If something happened… I mean, if I was…” “If you were wounded? Oh, Bill, I’d take care of you the rest of our lives, always.” (75th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “The responsibility for recording a marriage has always been up to woman. If it wasn’t for her, marriage would have disappeared long since. No man is going to jeopardize his present or poison his future with a lot of little brats hollering around the house unless he’s forced to. It’s up to the woman to knock him down, hogtie him, and drag him in front of two witnesses immediately if not sooner. Anytime after that is too late.” (75th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I’m 32, Mr. Dunn, and I’m here celebrating the fact that I spent another year scraping dishes and waitressing which is what I’ve been doing since 13, and according to you, I’ll be 37 before I can even throw a decent punch, which I have to admit, after working on this speed bag for a month getting nowhere may be the God’s simple truth. Other truth is, my brother’s in prison, my sister cheats on welfare by pretending one of her babies is still alive, my daddy’s dead, and my momma weighs 312lbs. If I was thinking straight, I’d go back home, find a used trailer, buy a deep fryer and some oreos. Problem is, this the only thing I ever felt good doing. If I’m too old for this, then I got nothing. That enough truth to suit you?” (15th Anniversary)
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