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Pic of the Day: “In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto, ‘Anyone can cook’. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau’s, who is, in this critic’s opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau’s soon, hungry for more.” (15th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It’s beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I’m proud to be a Duck, and I’d be proud to fly with any one of you.” (30th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Touching isn’t it? The way he counts on his wife.” “Yes, like a drowning man clutching at a razor blade.” (65th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I have a memory of an important man. I don’t know who he was. He had the haircut of a man who had seriously misinterpreted himself. There was an error in a time-traveling unit, and he was accidentally transported with no preset destination in time or space. Technical support informed us that he was literally sent nowhere. He was sent into the unknowable. I think about this man often; if he is still alive, and what dimension he may be in. I wonder sometimes if he erased his destination date on purpose. I have memories of dying two times, and these memories traveling across three Emilys. Dying is one of my least favorite things to do. I remember vast amounts of snow. I am not afraid. I don’t want to be copied anymore. Youth is not an accomplishment. Oh, I believe I know where we are. This is my brain’s logic center. We have to be careful. We must find a way out as soon as possible. If we should think of something illogical here, it could be a major shock to my system.” “Baby dinosaur.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” “So help me, me.” “So help you, you?” “If it pleases the court, and even if it doesn’t please the court, I’m God, Your Honor.” (45th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Don’t worry, I’m not making the same mistakes again.” “No, you’re making all new ones.” (25th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I met a girl; she’s a cashier.” “No way! That’s awesome! We should fuckin’ double date or something, you, me and Lori and w-what’s her name?” “White trash name. Guess.” “Mandy.” “Nope.” “Marilyn.” “Nope.” “Brittany?” “Nope.” “Tiffany.” “Nope.” “Candace.” “Nope.” “Don’t fuck with me on this! I know this shit!” “Do you see me fuckin’ with you? I’m completely serious.” “Alright, speed round. I’m gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, you fuckin’ buzz it, okay? You got me?” “You do it. I will tell you. Yeah.” “Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin’ Becky?” “No.” “Wait; was it any of those names with a ‘Lynn’ after it?” “Yes.” “Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you! “Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn…” “Tami-Lynn.” “Fuck!” (10th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You’re a good driver. You’re a bad liar, though. In this business, the moment you catch feelings… is the moment you catch a bullet.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “We bring you the circus, pied piper whose magic tunes greet children of all ages, from six to 60, into a tinsel and spun-candy world of reckless beauty and mounting laughter and whirling thrills; of rhythm, excitement and grace; of blaring and daring and dance; of high-stepping horses and high-flying stars. But behind all this, the circus is a massive machine whose very life depends on discipline and motion and speed. A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it ‘The Greatest Show on Earth’.” (70th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab or the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in their enchanted place on top of the forest, a little bear will always be waiting.” (45th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “He’s making all of this up as he goes along. You don’t see that?” (10th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “What, you still throwing up bricks? What is this, a Masons convention? Wha… clank, clank! I need, like, a welding torch to play in this league! I got an idea… let’s just stop right now and gather up all these bricks and let’s build a shelter for the homeless so maybe your mother will have a place to live!” (30th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “You cannot change fate. However, you can rise to meet it, if you so choose.” (25th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: ♫ “Seventy-six trombones led the big parade / With a hundred and ten coronets close at hand / They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos / The cream of ev’ry famous band.” ♫ (60th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Excuse me? What the fuck?” “What?” “What the fuck are you talking about?” “Clair George said you were coming in here to apologize.” “I’m supposed to come in here so you could apologize to me.” “According to whom?” “Clair George.” “You told me to go fuck myself. I’m supposed to apologize to you?” “Also water goes over a dam and under a bridge, you poncy school boy.” “Clearly there’s been a miscommunication between Clair George and somebody.” (15th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “No, hold on. That’s it? That’s a plastic bag, bleach pens, fake salt and gummy bears. That’s our bomb?” “Don’t call it a bomb. Now, how many yards away is the vault?” “About 20 yards. I don’t know, maybe 30.” “Is it 20 or is it 30? We are dealing with science here.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “There’s nobody alive but us! And nobody’s going to help us except ourselves. lt’s up to each one of you. lt’s up to all of us. Together.” (50th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “John, don’t run.” “You don’t have to chase me.” “You don’t have to run.” “Everybody runs, Fletch.” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Good crowd out there tonight, boys, let’s really try to win this one.” “You have to hand it to the old bastard, he’s highly original.” “That man traveled 15 hours by bus to say that?” (45th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Ever since he was a little kid I’ve tried to teach him what’s right. I don’t know what else to do – I’ve tried to bring him up decent.” “Aw, what chance have they got against all this? They gotta fight for a place to play, fight for a little extra somethin’ to eat, fight for everything. They get used to fightin’. ‘Enemies of society’ it says in the papers… why not? What’ve they got to be so friendly about?” (85th Anniversary)
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