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Pic of the Day: “Guy goes into the agent’s office and he says, ‘I’ve got an act for “you. Wait till you hear “this’. ‘Tell me a little about it. What’s the act?’ He says, ‘My wife and I come out on stage – I’ve taken a lot of medicine prior to the appearance, and I’ve eaten a lot of cabbages and things – she lies down on the stage, I squat over her, I pull down my pants, and I shit in her mouth. It’s mostly liquid. It’s like a diarrhoeic thing. I try to include corn and things that will not break down in the digestive system. Peanuts, of course. I try to get a lot of solid objects so that’s there’s a little action too. It’s not just a stream of brown liquid. And it all goes into… I can hit her mouth pretty well. I do have one polyp – I have a large, kind of a haemorrhoidal polyp, that sometimes throws my aim off and I have to… It’s kind of like Kentucky windage, but I usually get it. I can hear whether it’s hitting the hollow area of her throat. So I get as much as I can in there and then she gargles with it. You hear the gargling. She gargles and gargles. And then she swallows it. And we’re off. It’s about five minutes total’. The guy says, ‘Oh.” What do you call the act?'” (20th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: ♫ “A square with a horn makes you wish you weren’t born / Every time he plays / Oh, a rinky-tinky-tinky / With a square in the act you can set music back / To the cave man days / Oh, a rinky-tinky-tinky / Yes, everybody wants to be a cat / Because a cat’s the only cat who knows where it’s at / When playin’ jazz you always has a welcome mat / ‘Cause everybody digs a swinging cat.” ♫ (55th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.” “No man here carries with him a label.” “Oh yes, no names. How silly of me. Well, um, he’s an American.” “We are all children of the same life force.” “Yes of course we are. He bends over and speaks from his rear.” “Oh him. Right this way…” (30th Anniversary)
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