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Pic of the Day: “Boy, are you stupid, Charlie Brown.” “What kind of a tree is that?” “You were supposed to get a good tree. Can’t you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?” “I told you he’d goof it up. He isn’t the kind you can depend on to do anything right.” “You’re hopeless, Charlie Brown.”
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Pic of the Day: “Did you know that there are over two billion children in the world?” “Hmm. No wonder I keep trippin’ over roller skates.” “That means Santa would have to make, like, 800 visits a second, not including bathroom breaks.” “Well, I guess ol’ Santy’s been at it so long, he figured out all the shortcuts.”
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Pic of the Day: “How do you think the new record compares to your old classic stuff?” “Oh come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the record’s crap. But wouldn’t it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn’t some smug teenager, but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? All those young popsters, come Christmas Day… they’ll be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls, and I’ll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager, Joe, ugliest man in the world, fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn’t pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.” “I think you’re referring to ‘If you really love Christmas…'” “‘Come on and let it snow…?’ Ouch!”
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Pic of the Day: “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
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