Archive for September, 2012

The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Actor (1927/1928-1949)

This is part of a series of articles where I’m putting forth my opinions about what I’d nominate in all of the Oscar Quest categories (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress). Normally I take the categories as they are, but I thought it would be fun to figure out what I’d vote for if I had a ballot each year. Keep in mind, this is only for NOMINATIONS and nothing else.

My only problem with this is that I knew if I did it, too many people, were they doing the same thing, would put on movies that just didn’t belong on an Oscar ballot. (I would too, in some cases. We just like what we like.) My problem was that people would take this exercise as an opportunity to really just go off the rails with stuff (which, if you read through all these articles, you’ll see me call people out for it, since I know exactly which films and which performances people would put on). So my way around this was by creating what I call a “Compromise List” — after I tell you what was actually nominated and what I’d put on my ballot, I’m making a list whereby I try to make everyone happy and keep it mostly close to what would be there, Academy-wise. You’ll see. My lists usually end up being better and not crazy.

The things to take into account with the performance categories — I can only nominate what I’ve seen. So me not seeing something will be a big reason why some stuff doesn’t appear. And, as always, I tell people not to bother me with one random person in one random category, since I have everything to think about. If you want to say something, wait until you’ve seen all the films/tried this yourself before you do it. And I don’t care about foreign performances, for the most part. There’s a long and complicated answer there, but — I don’t. And the big rule for anyone doing this — if someone won a category, YOU CAN’T LEAVE THEM OFF THE COMPROMISE LIST. Can’t do it.

Otherwise — here’s the next set of categories. (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “It might be a fight / Like you see on the screen / A swain getting slain / For the love of a queen / Some great Shakespearean scene / Where a ghost and a prince meet / And everyone ends in mincemeat. / The gag / May be waving the flag / That began / With a mystical hand / Hip hooray! / The American way. / The world is a stage / The stage is a world / Of entertainment!” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Actor (1950-1969)

This is part of a series of articles where I’m putting forth my opinions about what I’d nominate in all of the Oscar Quest categories (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress). Normally I take the categories as they are, but I thought it would be fun to figure out what I’d vote for if I had a ballot each year. Keep in mind, this is only for NOMINATIONS and nothing else.

My only problem with this is that I knew if I did it, too many people, were they doing the same thing, would put on movies that just didn’t belong on an Oscar ballot. (I would too, in some cases. We just like what we like.) My problem was that people would take this exercise as an opportunity to really just go off the rails with stuff (which, if you read through all these articles, you’ll see me call people out for it, since I know exactly which films and which performances people would put on). So my way around this was by creating what I call a “Compromise List” — after I tell you what was actually nominated and what I’d put on my ballot, I’m making a list whereby I try to make everyone happy and keep it mostly close to what would be there, Academy-wise. You’ll see. My lists usually end up being better and not crazy.

The things to take into account with the performance categories — I can only nominate what I’ve seen. So me not seeing something will be a big reason why some stuff doesn’t appear. And, as always, I tell people not to bother me with one random person in one random category, since I have everything to think about. If you want to say something, wait until you’ve seen all the films/tried this yourself before you do it. And I don’t care about foreign performances, for the most part. There’s a long and complicated answer there, but — I don’t. And the big rule for anyone doing this — if someone won a category, YOU CAN’T LEAVE THEM OFF THE COMPROMISE LIST. Can’t do it.

Otherwise — here’s the next set of categories. (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Can you feel the love tonight? / The peace the evening brings / The world, for once, in perfect harmony / With all its living things. / Can you feel the love tonight? / You needn’t look too far / Stealing through the night’s uncertainties / Love is where they are.” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Actor (1970-1989)

This is part of a series of articles where I’m putting forth my opinions about what I’d nominate in all of the Oscar Quest categories (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress). Normally I take the categories as they are, but I thought it would be fun to figure out what I’d vote for if I had a ballot each year. Keep in mind, this is only for NOMINATIONS and nothing else.

My only problem with this is that I knew if I did it, too many people, were they doing the same thing, would put on movies that just didn’t belong on an Oscar ballot. (I would too, in some cases. We just like what we like.) My problem was that people would take this exercise as an opportunity to really just go off the rails with stuff (which, if you read through all these articles, you’ll see me call people out for it, since I know exactly which films and which performances people would put on). So my way around this was by creating what I call a “Compromise List” — after I tell you what was actually nominated and what I’d put on my ballot, I’m making a list whereby I try to make everyone happy and keep it mostly close to what would be there, Academy-wise. You’ll see. My lists usually end up being better and not crazy.

The things to take into account with the performance categories — I can only nominate what I’ve seen. So me not seeing something will be a big reason why some stuff doesn’t appear. And, as always, I tell people not to bother me with one random person in one random category, since I have everything to think about. If you want to say something, wait until you’ve seen all the films/tried this yourself before you do it. And I don’t care about foreign performances, for the most part. There’s a long and complicated answer there, but — I don’t. And the big rule for anyone doing this — if someone won a category, YOU CAN’T LEAVE THEM OFF THE COMPROMISE LIST. Can’t do it.

Otherwise — here’s the next set of categories. (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “You say eether and I say eyether / You say neether and I say nyther / Eether, eyether, neether, nyther / Let’s call the whole thing off! / You like potato and I like potahto / You like tomato and I like tomahto / Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto / Let’s call the whole thing off! / But oh, if we call the whole thing off / Then we must part. / And oh, if we ever part / Then that might break my heart! / So, if you like pajamas and I like pajahmas / I’ll wear pajamas and give up pajahmas / For we / Know we / Need each other / So we / Better call the calling off off / Oh, let’s call the whole thing off!” ♫


The Box Office Report – September 28-30

Last week, in Box Office…

End of Watch actually won the weekend. Wait, really? Shows how little attention I was paying the Box Office since last Thursday. I actually didn’t even realize this article was supposed to go up until the last minute.

So it made $13.2 million, which isn’t really winning the weekend. But honestly, the amount of promotion I saw for it the past month or so, it makes sense. I remember seeing a giant billboard for it on Melrose (and also on Sunset, I think) and was like, “Damn. I thought that didn’t even have a release date like, four months ago.” They pushed pretty hard for it, all things considered. So I guess it makes sense. But on the other hand — $13.2 million isn’t anything to write home about for a #1 finish.

House at the End of the Street finished second with $12.3 million. This was not unexpected at all, and is exactly within the range of these movies. (more…)


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Actor (1990-2011)

These performance articles are going to be tougher than the Best Picture ones. But before we get into that, let me explain:

I’m doing a series of articles where I sort of mediate my opinions about what should have been nominated in all of the Oscar Quest categories (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress), all time (1927-1928 to present), next to what the actual nominees were. I’ve never actually gone on record about what I think should have been nominated, mostly because I treat the Oscars as something that’s just a thing. I have opinions each year about what should or shouldn’t be nominated, but once a category is in place I (unlike many other people), have respect for the category as an entity. I don’t fuck with them, and treat everything as, “Okay, it’s there. Now how do I vote?”

But I figured I could accomplish two things by actually telling people what I’d nominate. First, I figured I could use my opinions to create what I’m calling a Compromise List, which is basically a mixture of what actually happened and what I think should have happened, which, to most rational people who like movies (and respect the Oscars), actually ends up being something that perfectly mediates the two. I feel like these Compromise Lists give everyone the best of both worlds — we get to nominate shit that was ignored, and the films that the Academy clearly liked get to stay. And (hopefully) everyone’s happy. (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Somewhere out there / Beneath the pale moonlight / Someone’s thinking of me / And loving me tonight. / Somewhere out there / Someone’s saying a prayer / That we’ll find one another / In that big somewhere out there. / And even though I know how very far apart we are / It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star. / And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby / It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky. / Somewhere out there / If love can see us through / Then we’ll be together / Somewhere out there / Out where dreams come true.” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Picture (1927/1928-1949)

To run down the intro quickly — this is a series of articles about what I would nominate in every single Oscar Quest category if I had a ballot. I always felt I should do them, but didn’t want to pull that shit everyone pulls of, “Here’s what I’d nominate,” even though it’s all the same five films they add on and they haven’t even seen half the stuff that was nominated. I know my stuff’s legit, because I’ve seen all the films, but I refused to start this discussion unless I was going to do it with the ability to tell people how to do it the right way, since unless you keep them honest, it’s fucking chaos.

So I decided to, along with picking what I’d vote for, create what I’m calling a Compromise List. The Compromise List is — aside from my personal nominations (which on the whole are pretty close to what would fit the typical notion of “Oscar,” since I’ve seen everything and know what is and what isn’t an “Oscar” movie and actually respect the precedents in place even though I don’t always agree with them enough to not be like, “I vote for Star Trek!”), a list of films that are basically a mix of my nominees and their nominees that I think everyone could live with. The idea is to make a list that works for everyone that’s great, and to cut out all the shit that so clearly shouldn’t be there.

The things to keep in mind: 1) if a category has five nominees, I’m only nominating five films. 2) The lists are only based on what I’ve seen. 3) Don’t bother me with your opinion unless you’re gonna go the full nine and do every single year. 4) If you’re going to attempt something like this — be honest. Don’t get too subjective, and DO NOT take off a film you haven’t seen just to put on a film you have seen. And most importantly, 5) YOU CANNOT take off a Best Picture winner. You can not vote for it on your list, but on your compromise list, the Best Picture winner MUST BE THERE. If it won, you have to include it. No exceptions.

Okay, let’s get to the next set of Best Picture years: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Bed, bed I couldn’t go to bed / My head’s to light to try to set it down. / Sleep, sleep I couldn’t sleep tonight / Not for all the jewels in the crown. / I could have danced all night / I could have danced all night / And still have begged for more. / I could have spread my wings / And done a thousand things / I’ve never done before.” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Picture (1950-1969)

To run down the intro quickly — this is a series of articles about what I would nominate in every single Oscar Quest category if I had a ballot. I always felt I should do them, but didn’t want to pull that shit everyone pulls of, “Here’s what I’d nominate,” even though it’s all the same five films they add on and they haven’t even seen half the stuff that was nominated. I know my stuff’s legit, because I’ve seen all the films, but I refused to start this discussion unless I was going to do it with the ability to tell people how to do it the right way, since unless you keep them honest, it’s fucking chaos.

So I decided to, along with picking what I’d vote for, create what I’m calling a Compromise List. The Compromise List is — aside from my personal nominations (which on the whole are pretty close to what would fit the typical notion of “Oscar,” since I’ve seen everything and know what is and what isn’t an “Oscar” movie and actually respect the precedents in place even though I don’t always agree with them enough to not be like, “I vote for Star Trek!”), a list of films that are basically a mix of my nominees and their nominees that I think everyone could live with. The idea is to make a list that works for everyone that’s great, and to cut out all the shit that so clearly shouldn’t be there.

The things to keep in mind: 1) if a category has five nominees, I’m only nominating five films. 2) The lists are only based on what I’ve seen. 3) Don’t bother me with your opinion unless you’re gonna go the full nine and do every single year. 4) If you’re going to attempt something like this — be honest. Don’t get too subjective, and DO NOT take off a film you haven’t seen just to put on a film you have seen. And most importantly, 5) YOU CANNOT take off a Best Picture winner. You can not vote for it on your list, but on your compromise list, the Best Picture winner MUST BE THERE. If it won, you have to include it. No exceptions.

Okay, let’s get to the next set of Best Picture years: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Gone are my blues and gone are my tears / I’ve got good news to shout in your ears / The silver dollar has returned to the fold / With silver you can turn your dreams to gold. / We’re in the money / We’re in the money / We’ve got a lot of what it takes to get along. / We’re in the money / The skies are sunny / Old man Depression / You are through, you’ve done us wrong.” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Picture (1970-1989)

To run down the intro quickly — this is a series of articles about what I would nominate in every single Oscar Quest category if I had a ballot. I always felt I should do them, but didn’t want to pull that shit everyone pulls of, “Here’s what I’d nominate,” even though it’s all the same five films they add on and they haven’t even seen half the stuff that was nominated. I know my stuff’s legit, because I’ve seen all the films, but I refused to start this discussion unless I was going to do it with the ability to tell people how to do it the right way, since unless you keep them honest, it’s fucking chaos.

So I decided to, along with picking what I’d vote for, create what I’m calling a Compromise List. The Compromise List is — aside from my personal nominations (which on the whole are pretty close to what would fit the typical notion of “Oscar,” since I’ve seen everything and know what is and what isn’t an “Oscar” movie and actually respect the precedents in place even though I don’t always agree with them enough to not be like, “I vote for Star Trek!”), a list of films that are basically a mix of my nominees and their nominees that I think everyone could live with. The idea is to make a list that works for everyone that’s great, and to cut out all the shit that so clearly shouldn’t be there.

The things to keep in mind: 1) if a category has five nominees, I’m only nominating five films. 2) The lists are only based on what I’ve seen. 3) Don’t bother me with your opinion unless you’re gonna go the full nine and do every single year. 4) If you’re going to attempt something like this — be honest. Don’t get too subjective, and DO NOT take off a film you haven’t seen just to put on a film you have seen. And most importantly, 5) YOU CANNOT take off a Best Picture winner. You can not vote for it on your list, but on your compromise list, the Best Picture winner MUST BE THERE. If it won, you have to include it. No exceptions.

Okay, let’s get to the next set of Best Picture years: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Annie are you okay / Will you tell us that you’re okay? / There’s a sign in the window / That he struck you / A crescendo, Annie. / He came into your apartment / Left the blood stains on the carpet / Then you ran into the bedroom / You were struck down / It was your doom. / Annie are you okay? / So Annie, are you okay? / Are you okay, Annie? / You’ve been hit by / You’ve been struck by / A Smooth Criminal.” ♫


The Oscar Quest: My Oscar Nominations — Best Picture (1990-2011)

This seemed like an obvious next step after I did the Oscar Quest. I try not to deal in ‘what-ifs,’ so pulling that bullshit of simply saying, “Oh, this is what I would have nominated,” felt like a dick move to me. Because people do that all the time, and they’re always too subjective to take seriously. It’s like, “I would totally have voted for Blade Runner over Missing,” meanwhile they haven’t seen Missing and there’s no fucking way in any world that Blade Runner would have been nominated for Best Picture. And I refused to get involved with that without being able to tell people — “Look, don’t be stupid.”

But I found a way around that. I decided, that if I was going to say, “Here’s what I would have voted for if I had a ballot,” I would also point out that some of the shit I’d vote for would never happen.  And that gave me the idea for the “Compromise List.” The Compromise List is basically — I have films I think shouldn’t have been nominated. I have films I’d nominate that other people (more importantly, the Academy) don’t think should be nominated. So, the idea of the Compromise List is — we swap out shit I don’t like with shit we all can get behind (since most of it has been established as stuff that’s great).

I, personally, found myself unable to be totally subjective here. Because I, unlike most people, have respect for the Academy as an institution, and the history they have. Sure, I think they make asinine decisions all the time, but I refuse to pull that bullshit of “Star Trek on Best Picture list!” No. I don’t care if it was a better movie than The Blind Side — I won’t do it. And to even think it would have happened is to belittle what the Oscars are. I know a good movie is a good movie, but we have 85 years of precedent before us. You can’t tell me certain movies should be nominated. Hence the compromise list. (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Germany was having trouble / What a sad, sad story / Needed a new leader / To restore its former glory. / Where oh where was he? / Where could that man be? / We looked around / And then we found / The man for you and me. / And now it’s / Springtime for Hitler and Germany / Deutschland is happy and gay / We’re marching to a faster pace / Look out, here comes the master race. / Springtime for Hitler and Germany / Winter for Poland and France / Springtime for Hitler and Germany / Come on, Germans, go into your dance.” ♫


The Abridged Oscar Quest: Best Director

I got the idea for this shortly after all the articles went up. (You can find the articles here.) I was thinking — “What would it be like if circumstances didn’t matter? If I just voted based solely on the category and what was nominated?” Naturally that led to, “Well that can become a nice series of articles.” So that’s what they’re becoming.

I’m calling it my Abridged Oscar Quest. I’m going to go through every year of every category, and simply pick winners based solely on the category. I will not take into account what won before, what is the “classy choice,” what never had a shot. Just — here are the nominees, here’s what I would vote for if I had a ballot. I’m taking into account nothing but the films.

I’m going to star (*) the film I’d vote for.

Last, but not least, today is Best Director: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “But the fact is / Everything today is thoroughly modern / Check your personality / Everything today makes yesterday slow / Better face reality / It’s not insanity / Says Vanity Fair / In fact, it’s stylish to / Raise your skirts and bob your hair. / Have you seen the way they kiss in the movies / Isn’t it delectable? / Painting lips and pencil lining your brow / Now is quite respectable / Good-bye, good goody girl / I’m changing and how / So beat the drums ’cause here comes / Thoroughly Modern Millie now.” ♫


The Abridged Oscar Quest: Best Supporting Actress

I got the idea for this shortly after all the articles went up. (You can find the articles here.) I was thinking — “What would it be like if circumstances didn’t matter? If I just voted based solely on the category and what was nominated?” Naturally that led to, “Well that can become a nice series of articles.” So that’s what they’re becoming.

I’m calling it my Abridged Oscar Quest. I’m going to go through every year of every category, and simply pick winners based solely on the category. I will not take into account what won before, what is the “classy choice,” what never had a shot. Just — here are the nominees, here’s what I would vote for if I had a ballot. I’m taking into account nothing but the films.

I’m going to star (*) the film I’d vote for.

Today is Best Supporting Actress: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “There’s a place for us / A time and place for us / Hold my hand and we’re halfway there / Hold my hand and I’ll take you there / Somehow / Some day / Somewhere!” ♫

West Side Story - 21


The Box Office Report – September 21-23

Last week, in Box Office…

Resident Evil: Retribution won the weekend, to absolutely no one’s surprise. It was actually the best movie in the series since the first one. It made $21.1 million, which is in line with the franchise.

Finding Nemo (3D) — like I fucking said! — didn’t win the weekend. It only made $16.7 million. I knew this shit wasn’t cracking the upper $20 million range.

The Possession finished in third, with $5.8 million. It’s already made way too much money, so this is the last you’ll be hearing about this in one of these articles.

Lawless — jesus — didn’t even make $5 million. $4.3 million.

I love how bad the box office has been. It’s hilarious. (more…)


The Abridged Oscar Quest: Best Supporting Actor

I got the idea for this shortly after all the articles went up. (You can find the articles here.) I was thinking — “What would it be like if circumstances didn’t matter? If I just voted based solely on the category and what was nominated?” Naturally that led to, “Well that can become a nice series of articles.” So that’s what they’re becoming.

I’m calling it my Abridged Oscar Quest. I’m going to go through every year of every category, and simply pick winners based solely on the category. I will not take into account what won before, what is the “classy choice,” what never had a shot. Just — here are the nominees, here’s what I would vote for if I had a ballot. I’m taking into account nothing but the films.

I’m going to star (*) the film I’d vote for.

We do Best Supporting Actor today: (more…)


Pic of the Day: ♫ “Somewhere over the rainbow / Way up high / There’s a land that I heard of / Once in a lullaby. / Somewhere over the rainbow / Skies are blue / And the dreams that you dare to dream / Really do come true.” ♫