Advertisements

Fun with Franchises: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest (2006), Part IV — “That’s Like, Super Unhygienic

Today we continue with another franchise in our Fun with Franchises series, Pirates of the Caribbean. Today we start Dead Man’s Chest. Part IV.

In case you don’t know how this works — a while back, I decided to rank my favorite Disney movies and rank my favorite James Bond movies. And the Disney ones were mostly straight synopses and not too much fun, but when I got to Bond, I enlisted the help of my friend Colin, who knows everything about the Bond franchise that I do not, for those articles, and along the way, learned how to have fun with it. And, by the end of the Bond articles, we were having so much fun that I said, “Man, we have to do this again with other stuff.” Because I spent about a straight month and a half putting together those articles. That’s how much time and effort actually goes into something like that. And not once did it feel like work. It was so much fun that I knew, as long as we were doing it for comedy purposes and able to riff off of each other — we could do pretty much any film and it would work.

And very quickly, the first ones you come up with are the major franchises, because those are not only the most fun, but also the most universally known. Everyone’s gonna understand all the jokes we make (well… most of them. Some of them might be limited to three people) about them. So that’s what we’re doing. And if you’re gonna have fun with franchises, it wouldn’t be right if you didn’t franchise it. Also, just so we’re clear, this is all for parody. We’re just messing with them because we love them.

And that’s Fun with Franchises. Right now, we’re doing the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, and today is the fourth part of Dead Man’s Chest:

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2

We begin Part IV at Isla Cruces.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1531

Or rather, they’re traveling there.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1532

Apparently they’re all going together.

Not sure why.

I guess because that’s what the plot dictates.

Colin:

Somebody’s gotta row. And then there’s Jack. And you know Keira’s going cause she goes everywhere. Norrington has been bossy this whole time — a weird combination of bossy and submissive that I really enjoy, actually — so it would make sense that he’d jump in the boat and be ready to go. 

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1533

Yeah, this’ll end well.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1534

“Guard the boat, mind the tide – don’t touch my dirt.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1535

Colin:

NICE shot.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1536

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1537

Colin:

More nice shots.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1538

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1539

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1540

I also like this shot as well.

Colin:

Why do I feel like they did something similar in Three Kings?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1541

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1542

Colin:

I really do like this prop. I think it’s the way the disc is painted.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1543

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1544

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1545

“This doesn’t work. And it certainly doesn’t show you what you want most.”

Colin:

She wants some of that Depp.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1546

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1547

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1548

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1549

“Yes it does. You’re sitting on it.”

Colin:

Or she’s sitting on the chest.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1550

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1551

“Move.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1552

Colin:

AHAHAHAHAHA get your rachet ass off my chest

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1553

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1554

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1555

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1556

Colin:

More dirty telescope shots.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1557

“They’re here. And I cannot step foot on land for near of a decade.”

Colin:

Why can’t he set foot on land more than once a decade? I think I might have missed the mythology or whatever. It seems like he’s a supernatural being with mystical powers…so who does he answer to if he goes on land?

If he steps on land they cut out his… oh.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1558

“Trust us to act in your stead.”

“I’ll trust you to know what awaits you should you fail.”

Colin:

That’s great. When someone doesn’t trust his subordinates as much as he trusts how terrified his subordinates are of him.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1559

“Down, men.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1560

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1561

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1562

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1563

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1564

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1565

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1566

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1567

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1568

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1569

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1570

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1571

This might be the shot of the movie. Brilliantly conceived. Clearly a CGI mask with the wave, but honestly, it still works when you see it in real time. So I’ll give them a pass. It’s a great shot.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1572

Colin:

How do they keep their powder and shot dry? How does this all work? The rest of this ship is governed by physics, like the sails and all that shit. But they can just dive all of a sudden? I don’t get how SOME of your ship is magic, but then they can’t catch the Pearl, randomly.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1573

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1574

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1575

Colin:

That’s when you make doo doo.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1576

Colin:

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. 

(Have you guys seen Milk?)

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1577

White woman pose.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1578

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1579

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1580

Colin:

I wanna dig up treasure. Only once. Not like a bunch of holes to find it. Although that does get me thinking about children’s literature, which always makes me a bit Louis Sachar-ine.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1581

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1582

This is the Tarantino trunk shot of the Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1583

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1584

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1585

This looks kind of like a little doghouse.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1586

Colin:

What’re all these letters? I wanna read those.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1587

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1588

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1589

“It’s real.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1590

“You actually were telling the truth.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1591

“I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1592

“With good reason.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1593

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1594

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1595

See that, Natalie? That’s a run.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1596

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1597

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1598

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1599

Colin:

Aw, that stings, don’t it?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1600

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1601

“How did you get here?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1602

“Sea turtles, mate.”

Colin:

Now Will’s here? How’d that work out? Is he really gonna stick with the sea turtle story? It’s not gonna be explained how he just showed up here?

Well, Jack knows he’s on the Dutchman, which would imply that the Dutchman is here.

Kind of strange how that doesn’t seem very important.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1603

“Not so easy, is it?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1604

“But I do owe you thanks, Jack. After you tricked me onto that ship to square your debt with Jones –”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1605

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1606

“What?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1607

“I was reunited with my father.”

This is some Telemundo shit.

Colin:

He even looks like he could be Mexican.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1608

“Everything you said to me – every word was a lie?”

Colin:

She’s pissed at him for lying, but she should be pissed at herself for getting played so often.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1609

“Pretty much. Time and tide, love.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1610

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1611

“What are you doing?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1612

“I’m gonna kill Jones.”

He should read the letters first.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1613

“I can’t let you do that, William.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1614

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1615

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1616

“Because if Jones is dead, who’s to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh?”

Pretty sure that beastie only comes when it’s called. And didn’t he take that shit off your hand? So I don’t see a problem with this at all. Though — the rules of the Kraken are very vague. Since it was able to follow his hat (does it have some sort of bloodhound sense of smell? Did we ever ask how it figured that out?), but yet will have to be called later to come fuck up his ship. It’s very strange how that works. Does it just roam the waters, only killing who its supposed to? Does he keep it somewhere?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1617

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1618

“Now… if you please – the key.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1619

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1620

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1621

“I keep the promises I make, Jack. I intend to free my father. I hope you’re here to see it.”

Wait, what?

“I keep the promises I make.” Well who said you needed to fucking make it?!

“I intend to free my father.” YOU CAN FUCKING COMMAND HIM TO WITH THE HEART YOU DON’T NEED TO STAB IT YOU SHMOHAWK

“I hope you’re here to see it.” What?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1622

Depp’s expression.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1623

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1624

“I can’t let you do that either.”

Colin:

Mexican standoff. TRIANGULAR MEXICAN STANDOFF.

It looks like he has a sword for a hand.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1625

“I knew you’d warm up to me eventually.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1626

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1627

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1628

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1629

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1630

“Lord Beckett demands the contents of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1631

“Ah, the dark side of ambition.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1632

“Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1633

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1634

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1635

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1636

Colin:

Wait, so…Jack and Will both need it for individual tasks. You have the chest, you control Jones. So why does will need to KILL him? Just have him release Pops. And then he can make Jones call off the Kraken. And then Beckett can have the chest. Or not, cause he’d use it to get Will and Jack. So really, there’s no reason for Will and Jack to be fighting each other. Only Norrington. And they’d fuck him up.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1637

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1638

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1639

I really enjoy kicks to the chest.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1640

I love this island.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1641

“Guard the chest.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1642

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1643

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1644

“No.”

Colin:

White chicks won’t do shit.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1645

Colin:

I like a three way fight. The fuck is going on here? This is interesting! They’re all fighting the other two. It’s like the final gunfight between Eastwood, Wallach and Van Cleef, only way faster and with less amazing music.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1646

“This is barbaric.”

(This isn’t wizard’s chess.)

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1647

“This is no way for grown men to settle – oh, fine!”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1648

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1649

Colin:

This is such a good location for it, though.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1650

“Let’s just pull out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything!”

Colin:

Maybe it’s the accent, or maybe it’s that she’s female, but I can’t understand a single word Keira’s saying right now.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1651

“I’ve had it! I’ve had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1652

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1653

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1654

“Now how’d this go all screwy?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1655

“Well – each wants the chest for hisself, don’t he? Mr. Norrington, I think, is trying to regain a bit of honor. Old Jack’s looking to get it to save his own skin. And Turner, there, I think he’s trying to settle some unresolved business twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1656

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1657

“Sad. That chest must be worth more than a shiny penny.”

Colin:

This is where I like these two, finally. He explains it all, and instead of bickering, the other one’s like, “Yeah, that’s what’s going on. Let’s do something about this.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1658

“If we was any kind of decent, we’d remove temptation from their paths.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1659

I love the idea of this. A giant island, and they’re fighting on it, and there’s all this distance — pretty much anything that happens in this place would be interesting.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1660

“Enough!”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1661

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1662

“Oh…”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1663

“Oh…the heat!”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1664

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1665

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1666

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1667

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1668

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1669

Colin:

HAHAHAHA BITCH YOU CAN’T FAINT NO MORE DON’T NOBODY GIVE A SHIT

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1670

GREAT SHOT!

Colin:

I love the POV of them fighting sideways. I don’t usually like POV, but that’s a good one.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1671

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1672

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1673

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1674

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1675

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1676

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1677

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1678

This is screwball. This is great.

Colin:

Sneaky bastards. Where are they GOING?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1679

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1680

Colin:

Yeah, this is actually a really interesting fight.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1681

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1682

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1683

I love this. Because there’s no reason to have this shot, and yet — it’s terrific. Just getting water all over and in front of the frame.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1684

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1685

It’s hard to say much about this fight, but when you watch it, it’s really well-choreographed.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1686

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1687

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1688

How to make swordfighting FABULOUS!

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1689

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1690

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1691

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1692

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1693

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1694

Colin:

SAND IN THE EYES

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1695

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1696

This would be a great shot from Transformers.

Colin:

And now these gross CGI dudes are coming out of the water. Get your grass types ready. Bulbasaur, I choose you.

(Who the hell liked BULBASAUR? What a useless starter. Weak, one of the most common types, and it only appeared good cause it destroyed the first two gyms. What shit.)

You can tell it was shit because they had to have it evolve four levels earlier just to make it seem less shitty.

Colin:

I couldn’t have much more disdain for Bulbasaur. Sometimes I find out that people used to choose Bulbasaur over Charmander or Squirtle and it makes me think less of them as people. Like actually, though.

The only time I like Bulbasaur is when you compare it to the other bullshit grass starters they had in later generations. Because he’s the only one with personality. The other ones destroy him on stats and shit, but, character-wise, Bulbasaur is the best grass starter by far.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1697

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1698

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1699

Nice shot.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1700

Colin:

Interesting variation on the original theme here.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1701

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1702

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1703

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1704

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1705

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1706

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1707

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1708

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1709

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1710

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1711

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1712

Colin:

More pulleys and shit like in the blacksmith shop fight. You get the feeling these choreographers loved playing Gizmos and Gadgets.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1713

Colin:

Isn’t it weird that this stone building is crumbling to pieces, but the rope is totally cool?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1714

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1715

Colin:

Of course the bell has to ring.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1716

Colin:

This franchise has lens flares like Star Wars has wipes.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1717

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1718

Not exactly Moria, is it?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1719

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1720

The camera placements make this work better than it should.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1721

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1722

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1723

Now that takes balls. A tally ho there.

Colin:

That was a fucking tally ho into a slice.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1724

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1725

Look at this fucking place.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1726

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1727

Colin:

Ahh. Water wheel. You can see where this is going.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1728

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1729

I LOVE these types of shots. Tableau, three people, swords, fighting.

Brilliant.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1730

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1731

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1732

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1733

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1734

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1735

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1736

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1377

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1778

“Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.”

“Be my guest.”

Wasn’t he the one who ruined his own life? Wasn’t it his decision to sail into a hurricane?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1779

“Let us examine that claim for a moment, Commodore, shall we?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1780

“Who was it, that at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1781

“Aye?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1782

“So whose fault is it really that you’ve ended up a rum-popped deckhand what takes orders from pirates?”

“Enough!”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1783

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1784

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1785

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1786

Colin:

That was a rather acrobatic tally ho.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1787

“Unfortunately, Mr. Turner, he’s right.”

(FYI, this is the kind of shot we love here.)

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1788

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1789

“Still rooting for you, mate.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1790

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1791

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1792

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1793

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1794

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1795

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1796

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1797

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1798

Colin:

“….oh.” Yes.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1799

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1800

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1801

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1802

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1803

1741?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1804

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1805

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1806

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1807

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1808

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1809

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1810

Colin:

No way. No way in hell.

This is where we get ridiculous. The water wheel I can go with, but this part — nuh uh.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1811

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1812

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1813

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1814

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1815

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1816

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1817

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1818

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1819

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1820

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1821

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1822

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1823

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1824

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1825

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1826

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1827

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1828

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1829

That’s pretty ridiculous. If they just fought atop the thing and we did all that stuff, it would be great, but it’s these touches that bring it down.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1830

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1831

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1832

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1833

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1834

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1835

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1836

Colin:

It’s good that we can all laugh about this.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1837

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1838

“Hello, Poppet.”

Colin:

She thinks she’s got this but it turns out she don’t got this.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1839

Super rape.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1840

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1841

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1842

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1843

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1844

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1845

Colin:

This is where we all take a moment to go, “What the fuck?”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1846

And now back to our regularly scheduled rape.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1847

AXE OUT OF NOWHERE!

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1848

They’re like putties.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1849

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1850

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1851

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1852

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1853

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1854

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1855

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1856

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1857

Colin:

Well don’t just fucking STAND there. And how did you not see that you were gonna hit this tree? Are you George of the fucking Jungle?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1858

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1859

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1860

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1861

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1862

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1863

Colin:

Wait, he jumped in again and this time, WHERE’S THE BAR? He hit his head last time and now that thing is gone.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1864

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1865

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1866

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1867

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1868

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1869

The camera angles they’re getting here are terrific.

And yet… On Stranger Tides happened…

Colin:

And I don’t know what that means yet.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1870

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1871

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1872

See? This is great, this angle.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1873

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1874

This is pretty brilliantly choreographed.

Colin:

This is plumbing new depths for ridiculousness. But it’s a fucking Disney movie about pirates, so why the fuck not? It’s entertaining. And well done, more importantly.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1875

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1876

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1877

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1878

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1879

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1880

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1881

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1882

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1883

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1884

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1885

See, this looks cool, but why the fuck would you do that? Give me that sword, I’ll give him the sword I have. It makes no sense at all. But it looks cool and is fun, so whatever.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1886

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1887

Colin:

You know, I’m going through these looking for comments to add or stuff that I wanted to point out…and there isn’t anything.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1888

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1889

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1890

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1891

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1892

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1893

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1894

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1895

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1896

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1897

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1898

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1899

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1900

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1901

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1902

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1903

Colin:

Ah, so Jack gets out. JUST as they reach their first issue. No obstacles so far, and nothing but flat ground. But now there’s a hill.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1904

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1905

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1906

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1907

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1908

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1909

Colin:

No, he’s not gonna throw a coconut at him.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1910

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1911

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1912

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1913

Colin:

That was way too good a shot.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1914

I have literally nothing to say about any of this.

And I’m not even trying.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1915

Colin:

Why does this guy sound like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

That’s actually Flaming Dragon guy from Tropic Thunder.

He’ll be back.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1916

Colin:

How can the body follow the voice? The ears are on the head. The brain should still control the body.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1917

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1918

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1919

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1920

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1921

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1922

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1923

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1924

Colin:

Ew, it’s like a regular heart, just with no blood. So I don’t know how that works. He kali ma’ed himself, but there’s no blood.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1925

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1926

What if he just bit into it right now?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1927

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1928

This might put a new twist into the “shot in the pocket, but were saved by a bible and a flask” trope.

Though, if one of these crew guys accidentally fucked up this heart, wouldn’t they then be captain? So aren’t all of these guys taking the wrong stance on this? Shouldn’t they want Jones to be killed?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1929

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1930

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1931

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1932

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1933

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1934

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1935

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1936

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1937

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1938

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1939

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1940

I’m really enjoying her fucking people up.

Colin:

She’s way too good. She can’t be this good. I refuse.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1941

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1942

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1943

Colin:

There were like six of them before, and they killed some. How are there this many?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1944

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1945

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1946

More long shots of Johnny Depp running toward and away from things.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1947

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1948

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1949

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1950

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1951

Colin:

OH the dirt is to put the heart in! Got it.

That’s like, super unhygienic. What if that had to go back in his dead man’s chest?

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1952

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1953

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1954

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1955

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1956

This is fucking glorious.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1957

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1958

Love that pan.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1959

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1960

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1961

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1962

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1963

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1964

Even the fucking water wheel tally hos.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1965

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1966

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1967

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1968

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1969

Colin:

All points converge.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1970

Colin:

Although, no fucking way. Cause in this time, Jack got to see the dude, hit him with a coconut, open the chest, get the heart and then run down here. All after we see the wheel start down the hill. And the wheel is still coming down the hill when Jack’s already here. Why must movies always fuck up spatial and time relationships? They pretty much just deal in terms of people and potential actions and don’t worry a lot about how they go together.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1971

This shot is fucking glorious too. Just her face and all that beautiful stuff in the background.

Holy shit, I really love this shot.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1972

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1973

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1974

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1975

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1976

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1977

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1978

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1979

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1980

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1981

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1982

Colin:

Dizzy fucks.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1983

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1984

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1985

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1986

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1987

Colin:

Who’s figured out what? I’m so confused.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1988

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1989

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1990

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1991

This is great. One person shows up, another leaves, and no one’s paying attention to anyone else.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1992

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1993

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1994

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1995

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1996

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1997

Colin:

Fuck you and your sword. We got an oar and a net.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1998

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 1999

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2000

Will’s got this shit.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2001

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2002

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2003

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2004

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2005

oar not.

Colin:

People be getting oared like crazy in this franchise.

Looks like he just got a taste of the… soup du j’oar.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2007

The spatial relations in this moment (after they all get there) and the fact that we know what everyone is after here is really well done.

I’m actually coming around on this movie.

Not that I ever disliked it. But in terms of how they’re telling the story they wanted to tell – they’re telling it well.

Colin:

I could do without the extended goofy sequences. I have a limit on swashbuckling.

That’s what ruins this movie from being amazing. The goofy shit. The cannibullshit. It would be really great if it didn’t get so kiddy and stupid unnecessarily.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2008

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2009

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2010

“Leave him lie! Unless you plan on using him to hit something with.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2011

Colin:

Y’all are fucked.

Another glorious shot.

I can’t think too badly of the stupid shit when the film looks this good.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2012

“We’re not getting out of this.”

“Not with the chest.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2013

“Into the boat.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2014

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2015

“Don’t wait for me.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2016

Colin:

Why’s Norry offering to go? Thinks he can outrun them? I expect a ruse, but I’m a bit too tired to try to guess.

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2017

“I say we respect his final wish.”

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest - 2018