Fun with Franchises EXTRA: The Marvel Universe — Our Favorite Characters (Part I)

All right. So over the last ten weeks, we went over all the Marvel films. (Not counting Age of Ultron, since that’s too new. So all as of 2014.) We watched them, we made fun of them, we did our usual thing. And now, since this is a formidable universe, we’re gonna rank them. Like we did with Bond, and like we did with Disney.

I’m not doing this because I consider them on par with either of those two, but because it’s Marvel, and apparently that’s like web traffic gold. So, while we work in a Fun with Franchises break to allow us to get ready for the next set of franchises, I’m gonna throw up some of this bullshit, because I’m not opposed to whoring myself out for small periods of time. Look, it was either this, or nothing gets posted. I don’t have a problem with turning tricks on Hollywood Boulevard, but you don’t get to see that for free.

Today we’re ranking our favorite characters. Everyone is on an equal playing field. Heroes, villains, random people with one line. We’re just gonna list the people we enjoyed the most during these movies.

Disclaimer, before we begin: You’re going to complain and tell us that we forgot someone. No we didn’t.

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50. Peggy Carter


I hate this character. She’s inexplicably British, jealous and possessive of a man she isn’t with, and doesn’t have much character at all. It comes off as super lazy to me that they had to introduce her as the girl who gets stereotyped by her male subordinates and punches one out to make an example. Giving a woman a British accent and having her punch someone doesn’t give her character any depth, nor are we convinced by the “will-they-won’t-they” thing that literally begins with her touching his pecs. 


Fun way to start the list. This was actually my decision. I like that she’s a woman who made it to rank in a man’s world. They do fall into the usual traps of having her fall victim to feelings for a man. If they furthered the relationship more, then I’d buy the scene where she fires at him more. But I’m willing to go along with it enough. I also like the Matter of Life and Death ending. How much fondue-ing do you think she does in the 50s and 60s?

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49. Councilwoman Hawley


As a wise man once said, giving a woman a British accent and having her punch someone doesn’t give her character any depth. This character is here because she’s Jenny Agutter. That’s it. And because it seems that Agutter did some of the work when Natasha’s in disguise beating people up. I have no real contempt for this character, but she’s mostly inconsequential.


That wise person was Redman, by the way. Mostly I like that this is played by Jenny Agutter and that she did at least some of the fighting. That’s pretty much it. The character itself is meaningless, since the ass-kicking is not her. But who the hell else was gonna go here? Pepper? A HA HA HA HA HA HA.

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48. Volstagg


He made this list because he’s loud, jovial, has an appetite for food and battle and sports great facial hair. So…Gimli. He’s the Gimli. Though, when you compare him to the other members of Thor’s crew (the Warriors Three), he has SOME personality, which puts him here.


Space Gimli is amusing. He eats cheese during feelings and drinks in front of his child, like any decent parent.

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47. Dum Dum Dugan


We’re really working in pairs, huh? Dum Dum Dugan is, like Volstagg, on this list only because he has great facial hair, loves battle and drinks like a champion. He also has a hat and a shotgun. Anything else? Mmm. Nope.


First, Neal McDonaugh. Second, moustache. Third, bowler hat. I respect any dude who goes through war with a bowler hat, champion moustache and a shotgun. Fourth, and what I respect most about this dude: he agrees to go back to war — legit war — because someone picks up his beer tab. That’s a fucking boss right there. I wish I could put him higher, but he doesn’t get enough screen time to matter as a character. Personally, he’s probably one of my ten or fifteen favorite people in Marvel.

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46. Sam Wilson


Disappointing for a character this major. I like Anthony Mackie — I love how I say that like he’s reading this — but they didn’t come up with a character arc for him that really worked. We meet him while running, he becomes a friend very briefly before Cap needs a place to lie low and finds out that Sam happens to be a superhero already. I wanted him to be more of a moral center for Steve, helping him in the way only a fellow vet really could. In the end, they gave him wings and reduced him to another dude shooting bad guys. Just like Steve Rogers, he could have had a lot more depth, but that was all left on the table.


Sam Wilson is the most generic black guy name. I love Anthony Mackie, I hate how they drew up this character. First off — hate the wings. What a dumb superpower. “I have wings, I’m a superhero.” That doesn’t work in a universe with real superheroes. Second… what does he do? We meet him as a random dude who runs, and all of a sudden, he’s the one guy who magically flew these prototype wings in battle and can help Steve randomly kidnap a guy… actually, the plot is confusing, let’s just stick with the wings part. It’s ridiculous. They should have kept him as Sam who will later become Falcon and I’d have liked him way more. He could have helped as a regular guy, took on Rumlow, and really ended up about fifteen spots higher. Very poorly developed character that had more potential than this.

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45. Fake Hitler


This ranking is an absolute triumph for Fake Hitler. I loved this guy in the Captain America musical sequence. Cap knocks him out a bunch of times, but he gets to ape for the crowd and sneak up behind a line of showgirls. This guy is awesome. I also want to bring it to everyone’s attention that this actor, James Payton, played Hitler in The Monuments Men as well, and has already appeared in Fun with Franchises! He was Neville Longbottom’s father, Frank Longbottom, who appears in Order of the Phoenix. I know 45th on the list seems low, but think about how little time this guy was in the only movie he was in, and consider how many Marvel characters were omitted from this list. Well done, Fake Hitler.


When Colin and I were going over which characters we were gonna choose for this list, I sent him over a general breakdown of ones that were definitely gonna be on, ones that might be on, and ones that definitely were not gonna be on. And the only thing he responded to that was, “I like how Fake Hitler is a maybe and Pepper is a definite no.”

Look, I respect Fake Hitler. I respect Fake Hitler more than I respect most characters in this universe (a certain CEO included). This dude had a legit job. He was on the stage, even traveling. He probably had a family to feed. You know how impressive that is? This guy fed his family because he got dressed up as Hitler and got fake punched every night. Steve got all the bitches, but this guy had a wife and four kids and lived in a modest house. He had to pay mortgages and taxes. Superheroes don’t know don’t about that mortgage life. This guy eked out roles when he could. Especially during wartime, when parts were scarce. And then after the war, he went on to have a dignified career on the stage and in local theater. And I bet he lived to a ripe old age. Hopefully there was a picture of him and Steve hanging out, with him dressed as Hitler. This guy is legit.

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44. Martina


Oooooooooh she looked good, though. Nope, nothing else. That gets her above Fake Hitler.


But look at her, though. You guys have no idea how much I wanted him to just stay with this chick in Brazil forever. I’d move to Brazil right now for this woman.

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43. Abu Bakaar


Okay, I really loved this guy’s smile. He had a fantastic smile that he flashed several times during the movie. There was something very funny to me about how he spoke, too. Very matter of fact, even though we can’t understand him, and then he turns to Yinsen and nods to him to translate. That nod reminded me of Hans Landa, in a weird way. Anyway, he’s just a goofy terrorist, which is funny to me.


He’s the good cop to Raza’s bad cop. He’s pretty fun. People also forget he gets beaten to death by a village full of people. Oh well.

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42. Rhomann Dey


He can’t go too high because he’s barely in the movie, but it’s John C. Reilly, and we like John C. Reilly. The character is predictably oafish and surrounded by many more competent-seeming, svelte peers, which gives him a lovable quality. And he married a pink chick and probably got cheated on because his daughter is too pink! 


I honestly don’t give a fuck that this is John C. Reilly. What I like about this character is that he has an interracial/interspecies marriage. That’s cool. That’s respect. I like that it’s not even a thing. Second, I love that he’s low key about his priorities. What could have been a stupid “thank you,” “No, thank you” moment turned into a really nice understate moment when Reilly, rather than being like, “You saved the planet,” said, “I have a family. And because of you they’re not dead.” I really liked that moment. That’s enough to get him here for me.

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41. Pvt. Lorraine


I really like Natalie Dormer. She was a good Anne Boleyn, and she’s good here. I mentioned in the articles that she’s been sort of typecast as the temptress who disarms men with her sexual prowess and willingness to initiate, and it turns out that she’s really good at that. She’s in the movie for like 30 seconds, and I enjoyed all of it. Woman just would not give up at trying to give it up. We all need one of those. And in uniform, at that! You know how hard it is to rock olive green and beige?


I want this at my workplace. Look at this. I like how this character is here purely for the plot, and yet… do not care. She only signed up so she could bang some soldiers. Good for her.

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40. Clint Barton


He’s a member of the Avengers, but you’d be forgiven for forgetting that. I mean, the guy has nothing to him, really. He’s in Thor, briefly, and he does exactly nothing. He isn’t even around later for when the Destroyer shows up. Then, in Avengers, they make him a bad guy for half of the movie and other than his limited scene with Natasha after getting knocked out, everything he does could be done by a faceless robot and we wouldn’t care. Like, he shoots things, but there’s nothing about HIM in what he does. So I have no problem with ranking him down here. I almost with Natalie Dormer ranked above him, but he’s an Avenger, I guess.


I don’t really like him. But I do respect anyone that can shoot like that. I’m actually not sure how he ended up this high. I think it’s because I saw what he could be in Age of Ultron (which really doesn’t count for this list, since we only go up to Guardians). He has potential to be a serviceable character. But he’s so bland they literally made him a bad guy for half of Avengers. There’s really no point to him being a character. But sure. Good thing he can shoot, I’ll say that. And I like Renner too. But they stuck him with a shitty character.

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39. Raza


I liked this guy. He got blindsided by Obadiah, yes, but he’s also got some character. He does the monologue, rolls with a posse in a cave, shoots Tony with a grenade launcher and then does the A New Hope/Spaceballs scene of searching for stuff in the desert while wearing dark glasses and getting sand in his head wound. But the most memorable part he had was threatening Yinsen with the hot coal, because that’s some scary stuff. I don’t respond to space torture or weird laser weapons, but when you threaten a guy in a cave with a red hot coal, I’m watching.


I’ll give him this ranking for those goggles and that scarf. I like that he’s menacing and barely says a word, but also is pretty intelligent nonetheless. However, his ambition is small, as is his part. Once Jeff Bridges comes in as the main villain, this guy is relegated to his place — in the Sand Farm Leagues.

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38. Sif


Too bad about her. She’s not really used well, is she? Like, she could have been much higher than she is on this list, but they decided that her little bouts of flirting with Thor would be severely limited and that she’d mostly just stare at him during banquets or while talking to Rene Russo. Nah, she’s the best of Thor’s crew because she’s hot and can fight, but the credit really ends there. Yet another Marvel character who could have been a strong female presence and just…isn’t.


This is one of those characters whose type is great, and you can read between the lines and see a great character. But they don’t flesh it out as well as they should. She’s the great warrior who overcome gender politics to be basically the second best fighter on Asgard behind Thor. Which basically makes her the best, since the hammer is most of his strength. And she’s in love with him, but he doesn’t love her. Great dynamic. But we only get that through looks and nothing else. And we barely see her fight or do anything as a character. But yeah, Marvel totally gets women.

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37. Bruce Banner


Oh, Bruce. I don’t like you very much. This is going to sound strange, but I’m personally ranking him like this based on the way he was in Avengers. I don’t particularly love Ed Norton as Bruce Banner, and I don’t particularly love the character who’s in that movie. At least in his second appearance, he has the moment of scaring Natasha, some dialogue with Stark, and he sort of moderates the fights that Tony and Steve have. But he’s still pretty boring because we all know why he’s there, and they don’t make him angry enough for the first half of the movie — he’s more suspicious and standoffish than anything else. “I’m always angry?” No you’re not.


I felt putting both versions of Banner was the only fair thing to do. Because while I prefer Norton’s Banner to Ruffalo’s, I don’t particularly love either one. I also will say, part of my reason for liking Banner’s Hulk is because I saw where he wanted to go with it, and that was thwarted before they could film it and in editing. And because people suck Ruffalo’s Hulk dick too much and I don’t think he’s all that great at it either. Either way, Banner is only fun because he can become the Hulk. Once he’s Banner, who gives a shit? The only time I’m amused by him is when he gets in situations where he can freak out and turn into a rage monster. But since we are doing characters, Hulk does count, so Hulk gets him more spots than he would have otherwise. Though as a hero, we discussed how Hulk is pretty much one note. He fucks shit up. Which can get tiring, even though it has its moments.

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36. Gamora


Can I just copy and paste what I said for Sif? She isn’t a great character in general, and she’s worse as a female character. She had that one moment of flirting with Quill before kicking him in the stomach, which was good but also made you think, “Geez, seduction is the only way they know how to have women do anything in this franchise, isn’t it?” And then beyond that, she’s constantly oscillating between a master assassin and total damsel in distress. Okay, so she can beat Nebula the robot assassin, but two random prison inmates are too much for her. She demolishes several prison guards, but gets boxed in while flying her little spaceship. They didn’t figure out who she was, other than the selectively competent green chick who Quill doesn’t sleep with. And when I say “doesn’t sleep with,” I’m implying that the answer to that question is the effective culmination of the character as a whole. She doesn’t end the movie having necessarily grown or accomplished something on her own. We only see her in terms of where she stands with Quill and the rest of the crew. 


I really want Marvel to do a female character correctly. They don’t quite get there with her, but it’s a step forward, I guess. I like that she’s a master assassin and has probably killed hundreds of people. I do agree with Colin that her needing to be saved in the prison was a little weird. I’d have liked it if she had the entire situation completely under control (which they kind of hint at, but not really) and could have easily killed all of the guys who tried to kill her. But otherwise, I do like that she can fight, and I’m okay with the fact that she has to be the unfun straight woman for the rest of the group, because they’re all weird and crazy and get fun stuff to do. I do think they manage to infuse a little bit of fun in her by the end, and I hope they can do more with her in the future.

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35. Selvig


He made his ancestors proud, huh? I guess there’s that in Thor, though the rest of that movie isn’t great for him. And then Avengers gives him nothing good. And then randomly, in Thor 2, he’s insane, taking meds, and running around in his underwear on television. I think the Stonehenge scene is what puts him here. I’m still wondering why he threw out all those meds instead of selling them.


Stellan Skarsgard playing him gets him points. Him running around naked for half of Thor 2 is amusing, and at least made me chuckle despite the piece of shit movie that was. Mostly I like that he got to get wasted and fight with Thor at a bar. That’s what gets him here for me. Avengers is pretty much a blank for him, though it does lead to him going all crazy up there, so I guess there’s that. Honestly, the scene in his underwear where he barely conceals the fact that he’s glad Loki is dead is enough to get him this high for me.

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34. Nebula


It was kinda weird that she was a robot. I guess the depth they gave her, to the extent that she had any, comes from her relationship with Thanos and Gamora. Because she hates Gamora, but hates her least, which is a weird way to think about family and makes you wonder what the home life was like. And then, it seems like she’s totally loyal to Thanos and out to kill Gamora because of that, but the way she turns on her adopted father and joins Ronan is interesting enough. I don’t particularly love her, but she spends the whole movie telling people she hates them. And she had one of the most beautiful shots of the whole movie when the fireballs burst in front of her face.


I really like this character. I guess because of the look? I don’t know. I’m just fascinated by this character that’s part cyborg. And I like that she gets to be sister to Gamora, which provides an interesting family dynamic. I just hope they don’t fucking kill her like they do all villains. Keep her around until at least Infinity War 2. She doesn’t actually do much, character-wise here, but I like the look and I’m interested in the character that we don’t necessarily see. And fuck it, it’s our list. So I don’t care. I actually do like her better than 40% of the Avengers team.

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33. Arnim Zola


You know, he’s not the best that Marvel had to offer, but I enjoy that he’s a cerebral character. The way they portray him as sort of timid and finicky during Captain America amused me — he’s so shocked that the Nazi leaders get vaporized when Red Skull decides to split with the Third Reich. And for the rest of the movie, he’s still afraid of Hugo Weaving, though still happy to argue with him or make excuses as to why they’re losing. It’s nice.

He’s sort of the guy who doesn’t really believe in the ideology, but is totally willing to join up because he’s evil enough to want a vehicle for his crazy experiments and stuff. And I like the opportunistic side he shows in talking to Tommy Lee Jones. That scene was just great. Probably the highlight of the movie for me, because it’s Tommy Lee Jones extracting information from an enemy combatant while eating a steak dinner. 


If this wasn’t Toby Jones, I don’t know if I’d give a shit. I like that he’s conflicted about Schmidt’s plans. Which is great, because that would just make him a regular old Nazi. I also love that he’s a computer in the second movie. And just chills there and shits all over people when he realizes who they are. That’s cool to me. I hope he’s not dead. You also know this guy’s trustworthy as shit, because Schmidt killed fucking everyone on the way out, and rather than just kill him, gave this dude his car. That’s respect.

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32. Yinsen


This guy is a little out there, but good for them. He basically creates Iron Man by getting Tony to snap out of it, and then when he needs to, he sacrifices himself so that Tony can get out. The whole thing about the dead family also provided the needed connection for Tony to see what was happening as a result of his legacy. I mean, Yinsen helps him this whole time as the snarky assistant, and Tony thinks they’re going to make it out together and Yinsen shows him how naive he’s been by accepting death and explaining that it’s what he wants. I mean, damn. Didn’t have much to say about his appearance in Iron Man 3, except how it was mildly amusing when he responded to a drunken Tony Stark like, “Oh…..kay.” 


He gets one of the few emotional arcs Marvel has to offer. We knew from the start that this guy was gonna die, and that his family was already dead, but it’s a nice moment, and really is the moment that Coulson’s death should have been. He provides a nice, likable sidekick character we can all like, and we know he can handle his shit by the way he saves Tony’s life and has steady enough hands to help in creating the suit. And he gets to run around with a machine gun like a crazy person, which is amusing. You at least felt a little bad when he died, which makes him a wholly successful character.

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31. Christine Everhart


I like Everhart. It all starts with Happy pointing out that she’s hot and her getting into the wordplay with Stark. That scene was so tight that it couldn’t possibly have occurred, but in the same way (okay, not quite the same way, but you get it) that screwball comedies aren’t believable. Then they bang, which is great, and she antagonizes Pepper, which I realize now that I enjoy. But then she’s back in the second movie just looking for a story wherever she can get it.

The thing I hate about most TV and movie journalists is that they’re sluts for stories (men included) and will try to convince the source that they matter to cajole information out of them. Everhart doesn’t do this. She’s genuinely shitty to sources and sleeps with one just because he’s a baller playboy. Good for her. 


What a great character. You buy this character completely. She gets a quote from Stark because she’s hot, and then they banter and they bang. Great stuff. Great scene. And then there’s the thing with Pepper, where she’s supposed to be a bitch and Pepper’s supposed to throw it back in her face. And then she’s a bitch later when she asks him questions at his press conference, which leads to that great Downey face of “I know that’s hard to understand, but…”

And then when she shows up in the second movie, it’s perfect. She’s clearly banging Hammer for a story, which sets up his character perfectly. Always second behind Tony in everything. And then the way she makes that face after he calls her out on it — priceless. A perfectly realized character, given her lack of importance to the plot and lack of screen time.

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30. Ivan Vanko


Oh, Vanko. I love that he’s here, because people hate this guy. People hate this movie. I really don’t hate it or him as much as most people do, and I want to point out why. First, he has a backstory of having been raised by a crazy scientist in Siberia, which makes him insane but still brilliant. Then he spends a bunch of time in Russian prisons, which makes him a badass. And finally, he has a blood vendetta against Tony Stark — he’s willing to do anything to make this guy burn.

Now, in practice, this is pretty good. The Monaco Grand Prix Historique scene is pretty great and he even gets to hang some guards in his Hammer cell. But at the very basic level, he cons Hammer for half the movie and feeds vodka to a bird. This guy is underrated. 


Well thought-out character that isn’t fully realized in the film. Which I’m assuming is part-Marvel not caring about depth, and part casting Mickey Rourke. Because his backstory is there, his reasons for hating Tony are there, he gets cool shit to work with. And yet… not the best villain. Probably because he spends the middle of the movie in comic relief scenes with Hammer and not actually doing much of anything. There’s literally no action scene in this movie between the Grand Prix and the ending. There’s just a fight with Tony and Rhodey. Which is okay, because it’s supposed to be emotional, but that doesn’t help Vanko’s case as a better villain or better character.

Though, admittedly, he feeds his bird vodka, and does murder those two guys and string them up while calmly calling Tony (he got his number, too) and telling him he’s gonna murder him. So that’s nice. He’s a solid character.

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29. Bucky Barnes


Not super fun, but he does manage to save Steve from a bully and then turns up with two ladies for the Stark Expo. Is that a stand up guy, or what? I really wish there was more to him, because we really haven’t gotten anything since his “death” and his becoming the Winter Soldier. I guess I like him because he’s the guy Steve Rogers needed to be around to become Captain America in the first place. That guy who defends him and keeps him from being completely murdered so he can live to fight another day. Every bullied person needs a guy like Bucky, and it’s probably because of Bucky that Steve is so protective of the bullied around him.


He’s a good friend. And he gets a woman for Steve to bang even though she wants no part of him. And then he becomes a badass super assassin. Which is always nice. I’d say that I can only hope to be that guy, but honestly, I’m the Dum Dum Dugan of the group.

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28. Thor


It’s sad that they neutered this character and gave him to Natalie Portman, because he starts out Thor as a pretty fun dude. Proclivity to fighting, yelling in strange speech, smashing coffee mugs — these are all keys to comedy. Even later on, we have moments like when he calls the humans “petty” or when he quietly hangs up his hammer in the London flat. Mostly, I think this character has the issue of being a bit too overpowered at times and of being way too serious most of the time. It’s really Thor’s seriousness that brings out Loki’s charm, so I guess we have that to go by. But a lot of this character’s appeal is wiped when you teach him about Earth customs.


It’s because he’s fun that he goes this high. Otherwise I don’t know what this dude’s priorities are. Wanting to be on Earth to bang Natalie Portman, I can understand. Wanting to be on Earth to bang Jane Foster, I cannot. Plus, he wants to be king, he doesn’t want to be king, gold jacket, green jacket – what does he want? It seems they just change what he wants for the sake of the plot. I need to understand who this dude is, and I don’t. I understand who the rest of them are. (Except Barton. He’s just a guy with a bow who says some shit sometimes.) This guy is just a dude with a hammer who can be funny because he doesn’t know customs and also handle his shit. But as a character, he’s lacking. Which is why I can’t put him any higher as a character. He’s amusing, but I actually need a character there to put him higher. He’s not gonna get the “Avenger bump” just because.

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27. James Rhodes


We’re really talking about two characters here, because Howard and Cheadle are entirely different in my eyes. Howard is the embittered, beleaguered friend who doesn’t want to deal with Tony’s antics, and Cheadle really turns that down. I think a lot of that is just how Rhodey reacts to Stark’s character, which is very different in the sequels because Stark has changed. But Howard is the more prone to chastising and lecturing, while Cheadle seems to be on the defensive a bit, justifying his own actions.

And then, once he has the suit, he’s trying to do the right thing, but getting caught up in bad guy plots. I really can’t see Terrence Howard being the guy in Iron Man 3 who gets heated out of the suit. In both cases, Rhodey gives Tony an outlet for amusing dialogue and has some comedy on his own, particularly with the way they used editing with Howard in the first movie. A fun character, if a little underutilized. 


It’s weird, because both versions of him are different, yet they’re both pretty fun in their own way. I’m gonna think of this as one person, who is James Rhodes, friend of Tony’s (and also military man who is liaison to Tony’s company, which is weird in a lot of ways, but whatever). He has to deal with Tony’s shit, yet he does it pretty well, and he can handle his own shit pretty well. And he gets a suit out of the deal, with a big dick shoulder cannon. So that’s cool. He gets to be a fun foil to Tony most of the time, and gets to actually do some nice action. I also like him over Thor because I understand what his priorities are.

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26. Dum-E


What a great place to wrap our first half of the character list. You didn’t think this would be a character, did you you? Yeah, this robot has a better arc than most of the characters in the whole franchise. Think for a second about all the emotions we saw from this robot: over-enthusiasm, dejection, sadness, caution. In a way, these were all the emotions we didn’t usually get from Tony in the same scenes. Since Tony built this thing, his constant ragging on it is really just a self-criticism. He could fix it anytime he wanted to, but he doesn’t because somewhere deep down, he is that sentimental guy.

The robot, like Pepper in the first movie, is a subordinate that he treats badly because of his own insecurities and issues, but he won’t change it, and he loves it enough that instead of replacing it, he fishes it out of the ocean for repair rather than just rebuilding it in an afternoon. I’m not sure people recognize this, but his quirky relationship with the robot is a rare instance of Tony’s super-ego at work in his personal life; demanding perfectionism, but caving to sentimental impulses brought about by reflection on his own flawed creation. 


I wasn’t kidding when I said this character had more character development than Gwyneth Paltrow. This fucking robot has an arc. And not only does it have an arc, it appears through three movies and has a solid character. He gets fun moments and dramatic moments. When this robot gave Tony the arc reactor, tell me you didn’t feel happy inside. (If you didn’t you may not be capable of it and might want to get that checked out.) Tell me you didn’t like it when it was randomly alive at the end of the third one. We love this robot. And we barely tolerate most of the characters they throw at us in this universe. I’m not kidding. This robot actually has a better arc than Gwyneth Paltrow in all of these movies.

– – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow, we’re gonna rank more shit.

(See the rest of the Fun with Franchises articles here.)


2 responses

  1. Okay…are you crazy? I let pass that you didn’t even mention Peggy in the “heroes” list, even though she should have. But putting her on last place? Feminist Icon Peggy whose popularity is even surpassing Black Widows in some quarters by now due to her TV show? And, btw, the best thing about her character was and always is that she fell in love with STEVE not with Captain America. The movie is really clear about that point and it is beyond me how you can miss this because of the one scene in which she reacts to his abs. (Not that I think that the scene in which she punches the soldier is good, but she more than makes up for it later in the movie).

    And Falcon? He is great! I take him over Rhodey or Thor’s warriors any day! The one scene he has at the start of The Winter Soldier with Steve explains more about why those two people might built a friendship which each other than Iron Man manages in three movies.

    July 1, 2015 at 2:10 pm

  2. James Payton


    I am James Payton, or fake Hitler if you will. Just wanted to say thanks for including me in your list. It’s jolly kind of you and is much appreciated. I will forever be plugging away.

    Thanks again

    James Payton

    April 11, 2016 at 7:35 am

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