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Pic of the Day: “In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto, ‘Anyone can cook’. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau’s, who is, in this critic’s opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau’s soon, hungry for more.” (15th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It’s beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I’m proud to be a Duck, and I’d be proud to fly with any one of you.” (30th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I have a memory of an important man. I don’t know who he was. He had the haircut of a man who had seriously misinterpreted himself. There was an error in a time-traveling unit, and he was accidentally transported with no preset destination in time or space. Technical support informed us that he was literally sent nowhere. He was sent into the unknowable. I think about this man often; if he is still alive, and what dimension he may be in. I wonder sometimes if he erased his destination date on purpose. I have memories of dying two times, and these memories traveling across three Emilys. Dying is one of my least favorite things to do. I remember vast amounts of snow. I am not afraid. I don’t want to be copied anymore. Youth is not an accomplishment. Oh, I believe I know where we are. This is my brain’s logic center. We have to be careful. We must find a way out as soon as possible. If we should think of something illogical here, it could be a major shock to my system.” “Baby dinosaur.” (5th Anniversary)
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Pic of the Day: “I met a girl; she’s a cashier.” “No way! That’s awesome! We should fuckin’ double date or something, you, me and Lori and w-what’s her name?” “White trash name. Guess.” “Mandy.” “Nope.” “Marilyn.” “Nope.” “Brittany?” “Nope.” “Tiffany.” “Nope.” “Candace.” “Nope.” “Don’t fuck with me on this! I know this shit!” “Do you see me fuckin’ with you? I’m completely serious.” “Alright, speed round. I’m gonna rattle off some names, and when I hit it, you fuckin’ buzz it, okay? You got me?” “You do it. I will tell you. Yeah.” “Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie, Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, fuckin’ Becky?” “No.” “Wait; was it any of those names with a ‘Lynn’ after it?” “Yes.” “Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you! “Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn…” “Tami-Lynn.” “Fuck!” (10th Anniversary)
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