Look’s like the Academy is the King’s Bitch (pronounced bee-tch. You know, because if you say it all fast and all it sounds like King’s Speech). To accurately display my affection for the Academy’s choices last night, I offer it in the king’s own speech”
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. SHIT. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck, fuck, fuck and bugger, bugger, bugger, buggity, buggity, buggity, fuck, fuck, ass. Balls, balls, fuckity shit, shit, fucking, willy, willy, shit, and fuck and … tits.”
I’m not that upset that The King’s Speech won, it’s just that, it’s boring. It’s a boring choice. For a boring Academy who put on an equally boring ceremony. Sure, it had its moments, but most of them were improv’d by an amazing Kirk Douglas or a reeeeally happy Melissa Leo. Some of the scripted stuff worked, but that was mostly because of how game Anne Hathaway was.
Though even though he was a good sport about it and the song was good, what was with the shitting all over Hugh Jackman all night? He was the Best Oscar host they had since Billy Crystal (who was amazing for the three minutes he was on-screen), and would have been amazing if they had picked him to host with Anne Hathaway (Franco just looked bored and tired the whole time. I said the whole time he isn’t funny. Terrible choice all around). She did a great job (for the most part), and should be asked back in the future.
So let’s get to the awards. Since I don’t care to discuss how bad the songs were or the fact that they didn’t even out and out state that Lena Horne is something other than white (both pictures of her were in black and white and Halle Berry only said how she made it easier “for us” to move forward in the business. The Academy was very specific in their word choices). We’ll leave that to whoever cares to discuss such matters. I’m all about the awards.
First — Best Picture. (more…)