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Fun with Franchises: Favorite Images from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

One of the recurring features that we do in Fun with Francises (a feature within a feature) is, after we finish watching a film, we go through and pick out our favorite images from that film. These images could be anything from really famous images from the film or franchise, really beautifully composed shots, shots that are funny to us because of the facial expressions being made in them or because of what we said about them in the article in which they appeared, or simply because they have boobs in them.

What we usually do is, just how we watch the films, Colin and I go in separately and pick out about ten to fifteen shots that we really liked. Then we compare lists, and whichever ones we both picked automatically go on our final list. And everything else we talk through and discuss why we like them, and eventually we’re left with a final list of ten images we liked the best, along with ten honorable mentions, which were also as good, but just missed out on making the list proper.

It’s not very complicated (like most things we do here on B+ Movie Blog), and is just a way for us to point out shots that we really liked in the films, especially since we tend to pick stuff that’s not always on the beaten path. (We also don’t officially rank the list of shots. We just put them in chronological order. Simply picking them is hard enough. We don’t want to make our lives any harder. Plus, we’re lazy.)

That said — here are our favorite images from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:

Some things to get out of the way, before we begin…

There are a couple of things that we constantly come back to in these articles, and it feels unfair to keep doing the same thing on the lists unless it’s really necessary.

So, I’m just gonna say, before we get started, that there are quite a few Hogwarts exterior shots in this movie that I really like. But I didn’t want to waste a spot on them because we know how beautiful the school looks. But I did want to mention them, because I do love them. For instance, this shot and this shot really show how medieval they made the castle look in this film, which is something it really never looks like in any of the other ones. You really get the stone castle sense in this one, which really helps the overall aesthetic. And then this shot I love for two reasons. One, it has a pirate ship in it. I’ll always find a way to work in a pirate ship. And two — those steps. I love those steps. I said it in the article. So shout out to those. Then this one is just another pirate ship shot. And a medieval shot. And this one — I just like the angle. Very unique angle to take. Those should be encouraged always.

Another thing I always mention is how much I love those candles. So… this shot and this shot… I have to mention them somewhere.

All right, that said… let’s get into our favorite images from the film (which is really starting to stretch the initial definition we gave it, but fuck it… that’s why nothing is ever absolute, despite what the internet thinks):

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1. This image

This shot has always stuck out to me as one of the more memorable of the franchise. It goes back to that same theme I always like to point out in these shots — the three of them. I’ll always single out a good shot of the three of them, like this shot, which is similar to a shot from the previous film, but also isn’t making it on the list proper because it’s so similar to that other one. This shot, however, is never repeated in any way, really, and that’s why it always stuck with me as one of the more memorable shots. Plus, we all should know by now how much I love a good silhouette shot. So this is really everything in one for me. Not to mention that it’s just a shot of pure beauty on top of all that (and ends up being a pretty nifty tracking shot as well in the film). So it’s really the total package as far as shots go.

Colin:

I enjoy a silhouette shot as much as the next guy, and in this case, the next guy is Mike. All of this feels very Lord of the Rings-y to me, what with the luggage and them trekking across the landscape. I didn’t love the scene itself, and saw no reason for them to be out in the middle of nowhere grabbing a portkey, but at the very least they were able to get this shot out of it all, so that made it kinda worth it.

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2. The Aftermath

This is a pretty terrific image. Colin and I both chose this, but for different reasons. I just like how cool it looks. I like the green hue over everything and how eerie it is. It makes for a real nice image. It’s just one of those memorable shots for me. Personally, the one that speaks to me more, even though it’s not as memorable, is this one, the one of shit getting burned, which is what they pretty much cut from to this shot. I like that because it reminds me of Gangs of New York (I’ve always said how much some of those images stuck with me on an elemental level, stemming from me seeing the sketches Dante Ferretti drew for it during the Oscars that year), and also because of the three different color hues going on within the shot, the cool blue, the harsh yellow, and the almost orange going on in the foreground. We do enough combining in these articles, so I stuck with the one we both chose, but basically they are the same exact shot. It’s really only a matter of a before or after. So it’s all the same.

Colin:

This image looks like the Sand Creek massacre to me. There are so many burned tipis that I can’t not see that scene from Little Big Man. Although, now that Mike mentions Gangs of New York, I can absolutely see that, too. And even sort of the aerial shot of the Narrows engulfed in steam after the water mains have exploded in Batman Begins. It’s just a gorgeous shot with the moon hanging over this scene of desolation. The only other shot that I pointed out of was this shot of the Death Eaters looking like the Klan. I don’t particularly love the shot, but it’s an excellent example of how this franchise grew up REAL FAST in terms of content. This is legitimately scary.

Two other ones I wanted to mention before we move on — this one and this one. I can’t decide which I like more — or if that’s even worth figuring out — but I just really like those two images. They’re barely shown within the film — it’s a completely throwaway shot during all the chaos, but those two really stuck out at me. And if I were a classier man, who wasn’t just satisfied with easy shots and obvious things that made me laugh, I might go for something like this and say how such a small part of the scene was actually more evocative than something obvious, like choosing the image of the Dark Mark or something like that. But — you know — we’re not there yet. And space issues. I had a bunch of other ones I felt needed to go on, and since we had this scene covered here, these ended up here. But I mentioned them, and I think those two shots (which is really just one shot over two points) are really strong, some of the strongest in the film.

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3. The Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson

Colin and I both gushed over this scene separately in our viewings. For some reason, I wasn’t really expecting him to. Just because I don’t ever really assume that anyone else watches scenes the way I do, which is on a pure entertainment level, a movie-watching level (which is a mix of entertainment and this next one) and a writer/filmmaker/student level of pure construction. I watched this scene and as it went on, I was thinking about the progression of all of it, and all the character work sprinkled in (the layers to this scene are spectacular — with Hermione, Neville, Ron, Harry — and this is even before you get into the fact that it’s not even Mad Eye Moody that’s teaching this class), and I really felt it was one of the best constructed scenes in the entire franchise. No joke, top five or top ten overall. It’s that good. And I was surprised that Colin noticed the same thing without me even saying it. Which speaks to the power of the scene more than anything. Because I’m one who’ll claim something as a great scene because I want to.

But anyway — I felt the scene should be represented, and on top of that — this is actually really powerful shot as well. I was toying between choosing that shot or this one:

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And I put both in here because I do feel like they’re basically the same and are both incredibly powerful. I stuck with the first one because I felt it was easier to pick out what scene it was from. To me, the more powerful one is the second one. The reason for that is — the first image is Moody (technically Crouch, but we all should understand that) going up to Hermione after she tells him to stop torturing the spider in front of Neville and making her tell him the final Unforgivable curse. And the second shot is the one immediately after it, when she refuses to do it. Which I love because he knows she knows what it is and he’s making her say it just to fuck with her, because he knows that she knows he’s going to do it. And she just goes, “No… I’m not gonna do it,” which is just terrific character work all around. It’s such a powerful moment in what’s one of the best scenes in this entire franchise.

And one last thing to point out — have you ever notice that all of the truly emotional moments in this franchise, both character-wise and the ones that require the most heavy lifting — they’re all Hermione scenes? It’s always her. It’s never anyone else that truly has an emotional moment. Radcliffe is second there, but even then, it’s not really until the last couple. Hermione has emotional moments pretty consistently throughout the entire franchise. Just in case people wanted to make the claim that she isn’t the best character in the films.

Colin:

I did really love this scene. How can you not? I was actually unsure as to whether or not Mike would be taken aback by how awesome it was because so much of my enjoyment during the scene was derived from how messed up “Moody” is being. Part of it is like how a lot of comedians (Louis CK, Chris Rock, Jim Jefferies, etc) will call out an audience for being hypocritical and being offended by one joke after they’ve already laughed at other offensive stuff. With the first curse, everyone’s laughing, including Harry. But when it goes REAL serious REAL fast and nobody’s laughing anymore, Crouch/Moody gets to be like, “Oh, what? It ain’t funny now?” And in this case, you’re conflicted, cause on one hand — Crouch/Moody is right to show these kids how their view of the world is altogether too positive and how things are a lot harsher than they may be willing to admit. But on the other, it’s always sad to challenge a child’s innocence. I think the Hermione reaction isn’t as much her own innocence being challenged as it is…she’s a pragmatist and an intellectual, and she’s empathizing with everyone else. Particularly Neville, who is familiar with the shittier aspects of the world but would prefer not to be reminded of them. So in that respect, this scene is like Crouch/Moody swapping out a toddler’s Johnson & Johnson No More Tears shampoo with tobasco sauce. There’s no way this scene wasn’t going to be interesting, but getting excellent reactions from a few characters like this made it that much better.

And now for our weekly segment, so good that it has earned its own guaranteed spot in this article — Hermione’s Reactions:

4. Hermione’s Reactions

How this is gonna work is mostly a rapid fire scenario, with us commenting under each one (hopefully briefly… but you know me. It’s just gonna be what it’s gonna be), or not, should we so choose:

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“A Hitler moustache? Dude… really?” It’s reactions like this that are the reason she has this set space every film.

Colin:

You got a gun pointed at you. What’re you really gonna do? I’ve never had a gun pointed at me, but if I could manage the face that Hermione’s got right here, I’d consider myself a thug.

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This was going to have its own space until we ran out of them. Colin and I both chose this one. I think this is a perfect image. Franchise-wise, this is quite perfect. Harry and Ron, and Hermione and Ginny framed between them, on the correct sides, no less. And then you get the bonus of them reacting to the two of them clapping at the Beauxbatons strip team — it’s quite a great image on all sides. Comedically, thematically, and compositionally.

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Two reasons this is here. One, the face is pretty great. Two — the moment is incredible. It’s when Ron has her say that complicated thing that he wants to tell Harry but can’t because he’s a huge cunt mad at him. And Harry is like, “What?” because it’s so complicated, and she goes back to hear the names again so she can say it right, comes back over, and is like, “Please don’t make me say it again.” It’s one of those real human moments that I really loved from the film. It’s these moments I always like best. Because in the middle of this really awful fight between Harry and Ron, which comes off as so childish and cliche and horrible that you almost want to tune it out entirely, you have this really great Hermione moment that really makes you feel for her and makes her so much more three-dimensional than, “Oh, I’m mad that you didn’t tell me that you entered this contest.” A lot of the films in these articles (especially the ones we think are pretty shitty) tend to have these human moments embedded in them that no one really ever talks about. So it’s important to bring those up when we can.

Colin:

You’re REALLY gonna make me go through all this shit again? Please just shake hands. It’s funny when a high school girl is more levelheaded than two high school boys. Cause that’s happened before.

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This moment is great on top of the look she’s giving. She’s in the tent wishing Harry good luck, and Dumbledore shows up and just starts talking and realizes, “Wait… Hermione? What the fuck are you doing here?” And she’s just like, “Yeah…” and slowly backs away as the scene continues. It’s terrific.

Colin:

This is the look of, “You just had your hand around my shoulder for a good minute; who the fuck did you think you were touching? Is this how you beat the rap when you get accused of sexual harassment? Just pretend you didn’t know who it was, so it doesn’t even count? You better be careful about who you’re fucking touching without looking in the future.”

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The amount of facial reactions in this image… from Hermione to Ginny to Busta Rhymes…

Colin:

Busta Rhymes wants a golden omelette. 

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This is the “She wants to get Krumholed” face. Because it’s really hard to tell if she’s disgusted or intrigued.

Also, this kind of works as our, “Three of them” shot that I love so much, where you just see them as they are at this moment in time.

Colin:

She really is the only one that can act. Look at them. Radcliffe and Grint are just existing. She’s got her mouth open and she’s doing eyebrow shit. 

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“I’m gonna get some dick!” That’s what this face is. It’s quite funny.

Colin:

There is quite an air of ecstatic incredulity about this face. I think it’s the uptick at the end the right eyebrow and how narrow her eyes are here. She’s stoked about something, that’s for sure. The line that goes here is, “Ahh, look at me! Can you believe this? Nah? Me fucking neither!”

All right… back to our regularly scheduled ranking…

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5. This shot

This was the one image I knew from the start was going to make this list. I was very happy when Colin also picked this image (I’m guessing at least partly because he knew I’d put it on there no matter what). To me, this is the most beautiful image in the film. It’s absolutely beautifully composed, and is one of those shots that people like me use to point out that Harry and Hermione were clearly being set up to be together up until the second half of Order of the Phoenix when they realized that Harry ends up with Ginny. But, on a pure composition level, it’s quite beautiful. It’s such a simple image, and honestly, any time something like this is used within a film, I bet a lot of people are going to remember it as being one of the more memorable images from that film. It’s just incredible.

Colin:

I’d say that a guy can hope, but let’s don’t forget that Cho is in this movie, so I’ll stick with her. But all the same, it’s a more interesting shot that we’re used to getting, and there’s some emotion to it. Again, Radcliffe looks lobotomized, while she actually has a face. But yeah, this shot pretty much had to go on. I knew Mike would pick it, but I was all about it too.

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6. Rolling up the Sleeves

The reason I have this here is because of how perfect this scene is. This is really the only scene in the film that Snape gets to shine. I mean, he’s sort of there throughout the film, and he has the moment confronting Harry about the missing stuff from his store, but otherwise, he’s not really a presence here. This is more about Moody than Snape, this one. But this scene was their way of keeping Snape present and making it feel as though he’s constantly present. It also makes Snape a humorous character, which is really smart of them, since we know that Snape is a menacing teacher most of the time, so comedy with him will always work and will never dilute the essence of the character. And what really makes this scene work is the fact that he does not speak a word during it. Not one. And we have all this exposition and character work done during the scene — they discuss who’s going with who to the ball, they figure out who they’re gonna ask, George asks Angelina Johnson in that badass moment (which may or may not appear on this list later, hint hint), and Hermione gets that baller ass move where Ron clumsily asks her as a sort of last resort, and she’s like, “Someone already asked me… and I said yes!” while also handing in her work that she finished at that exact moment. But what makes the whole thing work is that the entire time, Snape is walking around, pushing their heads toward their books because they’re talking and not working. And finally, after they refuse to listen, Snape then rolls up his sleeves like, “*sigh*… you gotta do what you gotta do.” It’s great, because you get that sense of exasperation that they just won’t shut the fuck up, that joy of, “Oh Imma get them real good now,” and that enjoyment of it all, that he’s actually rolling up his sleeves for this. All without a single word.

Alan Rickman is one of the best things to happen to this franchise.

Colin:

Now that Mike has described everything, I’d like to note that this image is funniest when you see it alone and get to imagine what (or who) Snape is about to stick his hand into. Cause that’s what I think of. Him doing something nasty. Could be the giant pile of shit from Jurassic Park. You don’t know.

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7. “What Cho talkin’ bout, Willis?”

Colin — not that I needed telling — basically mandated that we have at least one Cho shot on this list. I thought I was gonna have this one as joke shot and he was gonna have something where she just looks pretty. I was actually pretty surprised to see that we both picked this one.

It’s just a really funny image to me. I can go so many different ways with my analysis of what’s actually going on in it, but I’d rather just leave it alone to speak for itself. Because it’s just one of those faces that’s innately funny.

Let me also shout out another Cho moment I really liked, which is when she moves Harry out of her way right before this shot. Because she’s the kind of character that seems like she’d just awkwardly keep sidestepping with him until you both stopped and blushed at one another. To see her actually stop him and be like, “There we go”… that’s sexy as hell.

But let’s not pretend like I’m the one whose comments on this photo matter.

Colin:

It’s me. I’m the one whose comments matter. Mmmmm-MM! I had to pick this shot because — just like the moment where she moves Harry out of the way — it’s not the sort of thing you expect to see from a sheepish kind of girl. She’s clearly more composed and functioning more normally than Harry. Coincidentally, I’ve gotten LOTS of looks like this from Asian girls, and they’re not nearly as amusing when you’re the recipient. But her moving Harry out of the way is sexy as hell, Mike was right about that. We both commented on that in the articles, and…mm-hm.

There are several more shots that I’d like to point out, just because I can. First, the shot of her before the ball, wearing her fine ass dress. They got this one right, so thank you wardrobe people. Second, the shot of her heading into the room with Cedric, which was unavoidable. Cause GOD DAMN, what’s good? She got some curvy bits goin’ on, were they using a stunt double for this? She was 18 for this (basically) so it’s all good. And finally, her and Cedric walking through everyone. This is mostly just a great shot of her and a great shot of Pattinson looking like a douche. So there’s a win-win.

Also… one more, just for Colin:

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– – – – –

Onto number eight…

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8. The Yule Ball Set

I can’t believe I missed an opportunity to make a Yul-ie Boll joke.

Anyway — this set might be my favorite in the entire franchise. It’s so beautiful. Just look at it. And they barely let you see it in the movie. But it’s stunning. It reminds me of Anna Karenina — which, anything that reminds me of that is so obviously going to make it on a favorite shots list.

This was my choice all the way. And I had to have this on here, because this set is truly one of the best looking things in this entire franchise. I don’t think they ever match it. Which is funny, since, again, they barely show it to you during this sequence.

Colin:

It does look rather nice. Like some shit out of Finnderella. If that were a thing.

Does shit blow up all the time in that?

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9. “Kill the spare.”

Is this not the funniest moment in the franchise to everyone else?

Colin:

It is, indeed.

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10. Voldemort Being a Dick Double Header

Colin and I both chose shots from this scene (how could you not), both of which revolve around Voldemort being a dick in some way. I’ll only talk about mine, since they both come down to the same thing, and are both hilarious, so we don’t really need to double dip into why they’re amazing. Voldemort is a dick, is the crux of it, and that’s funny.

The shot I chose is the first one, which is him going over to Cedric Duggory’s body and pushing his face over with his foot and going, “…such a pretty boy.” Which is just hilarious to me, that he just completely desecrates the body of this person he killed for no reason other than to be an asshole about it. Plus I love the fact that Pattinson had to lay there as they shot this. Which is really too funny to not include.

Colin:

I REALLY had to pick the second shot here. This was the only shot I really needed to be on this list, other than Cho in general. Cause mostly, it’s just Voldemort relishing his pure evil. In that respect it’s just like Palpatine — he’s evil and he fucking LOVES it. This shot is him about to touch Harry for the first time and be perfectly okay, but he does it so slowly that it ends up being one of those, “Not touching, can’t get mad! Not touching, can’t get mad!” He’s teasing Harry like an absolute asshole, and loving every second of it. That’s why I had to choose this shot instead of the next one, which is Voldie actually touching him on the forehead.

I’ll also point out that Colin and I both chose two other shots from this scene. Colin chose this shot, which is more of a, “Fuck yeah, Ralph Fiennes!” shot. Plus he frames his own head with his hands, and as you all should know — we loves us some symmetry. I, on the other hand, went with this one, which is so goddamn funny to me because it looks like a L’Oreal commercial. It’s just such a funny image and also works completely within the context of the scene. But basically they amount to the same thing, and I felt that him being a dick was funnier, so these got relegated to simple mentions.

– – – – – – – – – – –

And now for our Honorable Mentions:

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  • The Tent / Saudi A-lake-ia

I’ve said all along that this might be my favorite magical object in the entire franchise. The idea of this tent is absolutely incredible to me. I loved every second reading about this when they went over it in the book. Here’s what looks like a regular sized tent, and it’s big enough for a family of… what are they, in this movie?… at least six to comfortably live in. I’m not gonna hide the fact that I pretty much needed this to get on so I could talk about it, but the fact remains that it’s still my favorite magical object in the franchise.

And then the other one is something Colin and I both chose, which I wanted to keep because A) Saudi A-lake-ia, and B) I enjoyed the fact that when we compared lists, he sent this one over with the comment, “I’m assuming this won’t make it on.” Which was funny to me, given how so very likely it was that this would have made it on. He said the shot wasn’t particularly memorable, yet this is probably one of the top ten images in terms of pure images, with nothing else attached, that I remember from this movie. So I felt we should make it a two-fer, since the tent thing is purely something I’m forcing onto this list because I can, and the second one is one we actually both ended up choosing that didn’t really find a place on the rest of the list. Shots like that are the reason I wanted to do these articles.

Colin:

That tent is cool, but I’ll go with other magic objects. Not like…a remembrall, but maybe a broom or the flying car or something. Or the quill that writes. Or the invisibility cloak? Maybe even the Marauder’s Map, if they had one that hooked up to Google Maps. But anyway, this tent is pretty cool, admittedly. I don’t really understand why it matters that the Weasleys are poor, if they can have places like this with magic.

As for the lake shot…the reason I included it at all is that it was one of the most memorable shots for me, too, but I couldn’t explain why for the life of me. So I added it arbitrarily and then wrote Mike a note saying that I assumed it wouldn’t go on. But yet again, these things happen and that’s why we do these articles.

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  • Look at Those Asses

It’s funny — Colin picked the first image, and I picked the second, figuring it would end up as part of something that’s coming up soon. And, either of these shots on their own isn’t particularly memorable. I mean, you can’t really just put a shot of their asses as one of the best images in the film (well… you could, but you know what I’m saying), and that reaction isn’t entirely something that feels like it should be on this list either. But… together… c’est magnifique.

Colin:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I would absolutely put a shot of their asses as one of the best images in the film. I draw a line between “shot” and “image” — a shot is more about construction, as far as I’m concerned; an image is about content. And I’m pretty content with this content.

Let’s also pause to reflect the other image from this scene, which could have been on here as a standalone image, which is — “We got butterflies comin’ out of our titties.”

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  • This moment.

Colin and I both chose this, because at this point, we know what we both enjoy. And that’s Filius Flitwick (baddest motherfucker at Hogwarts). I ended up choosing the first image, since I love the whole, “Yoink!” thing going on. And Colin chose the second, because it’s a shot of Hagrid stabbing Flitwick in the hand with a fork with a goofy grin on his face the whole time.

The answer was gonna be correct no matter which way we went, so why not put them both on here?

Colin:

Look at his face! And look at how far into his hand that fork just went! That’s amazing!

That is true. He does get stabbed pretty deep. And all he does is turn around and call him an idiot. Doesn’t bleed once. (“He shoots him in the foot, he tells him to go fuck himself!”)

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  • Fred and George Two-fer

Colin chose the first image, which is really great. Prepare for trouble and make it a double. And I chose the second one, because that moment is so badass. Ron asking George who he’s going with to the ball after George was getting on his case about not being able to find anybody, and George at the spur of the moment, just to show that he could, throws a paper at Angelina Johnson and silently asks her to go with him, and she says yes. Just like that. And then he turns back to Ron like, “Nice try, asshole.” It’s so great. George is a boss in these movies.

Colin:

I had to pick them drinking. They probably don’t actually believe they’ll be able to dupe the Goblet, but just them doing shit is an event that people are going to love. Which is why they’re so great. They’re not super talented at much except entertaining the shit out of people. And apparently asking out chicks, cause this was GREAT. And it was that much more enjoyable when Ron was clearly unable to do it. It’s so amusing when double standards exist between characters that aren’t of the opposite gender. If it was a girl getting away with something and a guy not getting away with the same thing, that’s boring, but when two people that are seemingly the same have different allowances on the shit they do, it’s always fun.

And now for another rapid fire one…

Colin and I both chose an unnaturally high amount of reaction shots/humorous faces the characters make in this movie. Much more so than all the other ones. And, I’d say, 90% of them are just funny faces. And others are actually funny in the context of the scene, or the context of the articles and what we’ve done to them. So I felt we should just compile them all under a single honorable mention we’re calling —

  • Reactions

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“No Vernon… don’t touch me there!”

Colin:

I think he was touching himself there.

He’s gonna have Scorsese eyebrows one day.

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This reaction gets me every time. It’s so great. It’s only something that we could have found from doing these articles. I’ll guarantee that no one else has found this shot before.

Colin:

This is totally an original shot. It’s like the guys on Jackass using a super high frame rate to film people getting punched in the head and you see the shockwaves going through their head and the flesh rippling. It’s gross, but at the same time…fascinating.

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She really looks like she’s taking a dick here, and if we weren’t so space constrained, I’d have found a way to get this as a standalone shot.

Colin:

Mike pointed it out, but…I’m not going to deny it. Seriously, look at that.

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Just one of many “Simple Jack” faces Radcliffe makes throughout the film. (Like this one.)

He actually has this ability to look like an autistic kid in the right moment.

Colin:

Most moments are the “right” moment with him.

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This is him still thinking about Cho’s FINE ASS.

Colin:

NOW YOU GOT ME DOING IT TOO

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This is Seamus rolling a J.

(Does it look like gum to you? I rest my case.)

Colin:

That ain’t no J, that’s a wet daddy. And if you don’t already know what a wet daddy is, don’t bother looking it up because I can only assume that anyone reading an article like this would never touch one. But the point is, you roll a J with a smile on your face. A wet daddy takes this kind of scowl.

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Out of context, you look at this and go, “What the fuck is he doing?” It’s pretty great.

Colin:

I love it because it could be him fixing to ride on some cake — or he could be about to do something that sends everyone to guidance and lands him in jail.

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This is basically his place in these movies.

Colin:

…and white people’s place in society.

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Moody really has the tongue action on lockdown in this movie. (Sorry, Ginny.)

Colin:

I couldn’t pass this one up, since I just watched The Miracle Worker. The resemblance is uncanny.

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“The Chinese Fireball. Ooooooh!!!”

(And you get the double with the Kakarot face.)

Colin:

And because of this face he makes, I can’t help but think it’s racist. It all reminded me of this moment from Tomorrow Never Dies. “Hoo hah!”

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That… pretty much speaks for itself.

Colin:

What moron forgets he has liquid in his mouth because he’s looking at a chick? What is this obsession that movies have about showing how in love people are by making them completely oblivious to their own actions? When I’m around someone I like, I get more self-conscious. This is bullshit. You know what, forget the rest of this franchise. Voldemort, cap this fool.

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Perfect example of a Kuleshov effect. He could be sitting there, thinking about mountains and shit. But here, he’s looking at a row of (mostly) fine ass females from his year. And you know what he’s thinkin’ ’bout.

Colin:

Maggie Smith.

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Looking at Ron’ you’d think eating Maggie Smith’s pussy was like having to eat asparagus.

Colin:

It certainly makes your pee smell funny.

He’s talking about chlamydia.

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“That robe is giving me flashbacks to ‘Nam.”

Colin:

It’s miraculous how this face can be transposed onto anyone else, and it always means, “What in the FUCK?”

…and now back to the Honorable Mentions:

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  • This shot

I tell you… it’s hard looking into your future, kids.

Colin:

First, that looks like a hand grenade. Second, his eye is looking at something interesting upstairs.

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  • This shot

I love this shot. It’s such a quiet moment. Like that one of Harry and Hedwig in the first film. It’s just him, sitting there, in the tent, as all the other challengers go through their tasks with the dragon. They do it as a set of fades, but it’s much better as a standalone shot. Looking at this, and knowing where it takes place in the film, it’s a really nice little image about what he’s going through. And no one really will ever remember it, which makes it even more important for me. (Because, think about it — this motherfucker could die. Look at the first aid shit right there. That’s not skele-gro. That’s — reattach your fucking femur because a dragon just went CRUNCH. And he’s gotta sit there and think about this as three other people go on ahead and are successful at it.) Also, he’s totally in a MASH tent right now. Which is also humorous.

Or should I say… humerus.

Colin:

I’m never getting fooled by that link again.

I guess you can say that it’s shame on WHO.

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  • Filch

We always love a good Filch shot, and here, there are quite a few to go around. And since we’ve already gone off the deep end (but not into Saudi A-lake-ia, thank Crom) with the amount of shots in this article… I just put them all here. Since we were gonna mention them anyway.

First — Filch running is one of the funniest moments in this franchise. Because it’s one of those things — if you didn’t see it, you wouldn’t think twice. But because we did see it, and they did it that way — it’s perfect. I love when they get something so minor so right and it ends up making things better. Because he would run like that. And that’s what makes it work.

Second — him shooting off the cannon prematurely is so funny to me. The look on his face makes him look like he’s busting a huge nut, and it’s hilarious. And then when it happens again he gives Dumbledore that look of, “What do you want from me?!” Which I love, because, when you think about it — that’s Dumbledore he’s doing that too. No donkey laugh and bow here.

And then finally, him dancing with Mrs. Norris, because you look at this shot (and it’s funny without anything on top of it) and you go, “Oh yeah… he’s totally already drawn up his will.”

Colin:

The run is funny because it’s so distinctive. It’s like the person who’s sprinting to make the library before it closes on a Friday night. There’s that sense of urgency, but at the same time you have the feeling that this is not someone who the universe needs to be running ever.

The premature ejaculation joke is merely amusing the first time around, but the look he gives Dumbledore the second time is straight up comedy gold. Cause he genuinely doesn’t get what he’s done wrong. Plus, on top of that, he’s probably thinking, “Oh, just do it yourself! You’re barely paying me enough to put Fancy Feast in the bowl, and I’m sweeping up a CASTLE by MYSELF with NO MAGIC, while you can repair 1945 Dresden with a flick of your wrist! Fuck you, sir.”

Finally, the dance. This had to go on, because it’s one of the funniest and saddest images I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s so caring toward this cat, and the cat’s staring right at the camera with creepy red eyes like it’s the end of the Thriller video. 

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  • Skeet Face

Skeet Face is one of my favorite characters in this franchise, movie-wise. I’m so upset she disappears in the second half of this movie and never returns. Her scenes are so funny to me. Because they skirt the line between weird sexual undercurrent and blatant libel. It’s hilarious. The entire time she looks like she’s about to pull down Harry’s pants and suck his dick (if you don’t believe me, go back and look at the screenshots. That’s what it is), and she’s also completely making up a fake story in order to sell more papers in front of the person she’s writing about. It’s pretty great. And I had the choice of other images, but I feel like this one more than any other combines the two threads of blatant libel and weird sexual undercurrent. She’s winking at Harry, but it’s also part of her asking him to go along with the bullshit she’s writing. It’s hilarious.

Definitely one of my favorite characters in the franchise based on how she’s portrayed in the films.

Colin:

I couldn’t agree more. You can see how everything she does is against your better interest, but it’s all happening so fast that you can’t do anything about it. This is the chick that gets you upstairs for “coffee” and begins taking your clothes off. You’re going with it for about the first five seconds until you find yourself handcuffed to the radiator under the pretense of “foreplay.” Then the next morning she’s gone and you wake up in a bathtub full of ice. And you decide then and there that should you ever again find yourself in Sheboygan, you’ll call it a night after two drinks.

What he’s saying is… she didn’t get the part.

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  • Maggie Smith Making Gang Signs

What part of “Maggie Smith Making Gang Signs” didn’t you understand?

Colin:

Core concept?

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  • This pose

I mean… I don’t know what else there is to say. Look at that pose. This motherfucker could be part of the Supremes, it’s so good.

Colin:

I have to say, there’s something a little gay about how he’s holding his wand. But other than that, it’s super badass.

And — fuck it — I’ve gone this far and stretched these things as much as I could — I have to give in and do it.

An unofficial #11 honorable mention:

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  • Hagrid flagging down the Beauxbatons carriage.

This is one of the funniest moments in the franchise for me. Because, on an elemental level — this is a giant holding ping pong paddles like he’s ground control at an airport, flagging down a flying carriage. It’s just inherently a funny image. Like — what is he doing there? Why is he holding these paddles? Why couldn’t they land on their own? It’s just hysterical when you think about how absurd this situation is. And then the fact that it almost runs him over is even funnier to me. And I have no idea why. I don’t know, is it just me? Is the image of Hagrid holding these things and waving in a flying carriage not just inherently hysterical to everyone else?

Colin:

Or, as the Chinese say, “Ping Pong.”

– – – – – – – – – –

So that’s that. Tomorrow, we will discuss our final thoughts about the film.

(See the rest of the Fun with Franchises articles here.)

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2 responses

  1. Loved it! Great list :D

    September 16, 2014 at 6:05 pm

  2. ringo muther

    “and white people’s place in society”
    WTF is this racist shit?

    December 24, 2015 at 6:26 pm

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