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Archive for June 21, 2013

Fun with Franchises: Star Wars Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999), Part V — “You Kind of Have to Drink to Make It Through This Movie”

Today we continue with another entry in our Fun with Franchises series, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Part V.

In case you don’t know how this works — a while back, I decided to rank my favorite Disney movies and rank my favorite James Bond movies. And the Disney ones were mostly straight synopses and not too much fun, but when I got to Bond, I enlisted the help of my friend Colin (whose blog is TokyoRemix.com. Fuck yeah, promotion!), who knows everything about the Bond franchise that I do not, for those articles, and along the way, learned how to have fun with it. And, by the end of the Bond articles, we were having so much fun that I said, “Man, we have to do this again with other stuff.” Because I spent about a straight month and a half putting together those articles. That’s how much time and effort actually goes into something like that. And not once did it feel like work. It was so much fun that I knew, as long as we were doing it for comedy purposes and able to riff off of each other — we could do pretty much any film and it would work.

And very quickly, the first ones you come up with are the major franchises, because those are not only the most fun, but also the most universally known. Everyone’s gonna understand all the jokes we make (well… most of them. Some of them might be limited to three people) about them. So that’s what we’re doing. And if you’re gonna have fun with franchises, it wouldn’t be right if you didn’t franchise it. Also, just so we’re clear, this is all for parody. We’re just messing with them because we love them.

And that’s Fun with Franchises. Right now, we’re doing the Star Wars franchise, and today is the fifth and final part of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Star Wars The Phantom Menace - Title Card (more…)

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Pic of the Day: “Is your hotel restricted?” “Well, I’d hardly say it was restricted.” “Then it’s not restricted?” “Would you excuse me a moment, please?” “How do you do, Mr. Green?” “How do you do?” “In answer to your question, may I inquire, are you – that is, do you follow the Hebrew religion yourself, or is it that you just want to make sure?” “I’ve asked a simple question. I’d like a simple answer.” “Well, we do have a very high-class clientele, and, well, naturally–“ ”Then you do restrict your guests to Gentiles?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, Mr. Green. In any event, there seems to be some mistake. We don’t have a free room in the entire hotel. But if you’d like, perhaps I could fix you up at the Brewster Hotel, down near the station.” “I’m not staying at the Brewster. Look, I’m Jewish, and you don’t take Jews. That’s it, isn’t it?” “I never said that.” “If you don’t accept Jews, say so.” “Don’t raise your voice to me, Mr. Green. Speak a little more quietly, please.” “Do you or don’t you?” “Mr. Green, I’m a very busy man. If you want me to phone a cab, or a room at the Brewster, I’ll do so, otherwise– ” “Otherwise what?”