Fun with Franchises: Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002), Part V — “Does a Marriage Count If Your Witnesses Are Droids?”

Today we continue with another entry in our Fun with Franchises series, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Part V.

In case you don’t know how this works — a while back, I decided to rank my favorite Disney movies and rank my favorite James Bond movies. And the Disney ones were mostly straight synopses and not too much fun, but when I got to Bond, I enlisted the help of my friend Colin (whose blog is TokyoRemix.com. Fuck yeah, promotion!), who knows everything about the Bond franchise that I do not, for those articles, and along the way, learned how to have fun with it. And, by the end of the Bond articles, we were having so much fun that I said, “Man, we have to do this again with other stuff.” Because I spent about a straight month and a half putting together those articles. That’s how much time and effort actually goes into something like that. And not once did it feel like work. It was so much fun that I knew, as long as we were doing it for comedy purposes and able to riff off of each other — we could do pretty much any film and it would work.

And very quickly, the first ones you come up with are the major franchises, because those are not only the most fun, but also the most universally known. Everyone’s gonna understand all the jokes we make (well… most of them. Some of them might be limited to three people) about them. So that’s what we’re doing. And if you’re gonna have fun with franchises, it wouldn’t be right if you didn’t franchise it. Also, just so we’re clear, this is all for parody. We’re just messing with them because we love them.

And that’s Fun with Franchises. Right now, we’re doing the Star Wars franchise, and today is the fifth and (mercifully) final part of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - Title Card

We begin Part V in the aftermath of the Battle of Geonosis:

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1056

They left us again.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1057

Droid Alone 2: Lost in Geonosis.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1058

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1059

Aww… just like Rain Man.

Colin:

Okay, now Boba Fett is REALLY ruined.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1060

“If Dooku escapes, rally more systems to his cause, he will.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1061

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1062

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1063

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1064

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1065

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1066

Colin:

Is that why Anakin’s pissed? Because Obi Wan keeps calling him ‘my young padawan?’ I guess he is laying it on a bit thick.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1067

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1068

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1069

Colin:

I love the idea of a map room with real time holo-projections of the battlefield. That’s awesome.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1070

Dooku doesn’t understand how the Jedi could come up with an army so quickly.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1071

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1072

“LEFT! TURN THIS BIG MOTHERFUCKER LEFT, TROY!”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1073

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1074

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1075

Yoda’s got some unfinished business.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1076

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1077

War of the Worlds much?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1078

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1079

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1080

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1081

Yoda is General Patton. This is great. I’m so much more interested in this now that Yoda has gone full-on war general.

Create a perimeter… that’s fucking badass.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1082

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1083

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1084

Oh shit, the MegaZords are here.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1085

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1086

See, now that they’ve gone full on war movie… I’m much more interested. Granted, he’s totally trying to recopy Empire, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, since at least this part doesn’t suck.

You know why? NO FUCKING DIALOGUE NECESSARY.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1087

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1088

Sweet Tooth?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1089

Colin:

All the droid tank things are pretty ungainly. Spider legs and shit don’t make for very fast droids. How about some treads? Although I guess even the Republic’s tank things are like the precursor to AT-ATs.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1090

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1091

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1092

DEATH STAR!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1093

Death Star plans.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1094

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1095

Oh, no. I was gonna praise this moment, but then you go and show the designs again after you talk about them? Come on, George.

I like the handheld thing, but come on, George.

Colin:

So, it’s pretty obviously the Death Star now, if you didn’t notice it before. I don’t know if I like that. In fact, no. I don’t like it at all. Why do we need to connect EVERYTHING?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1096

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1097

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1098

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1099

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1100

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1101

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1102

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1103

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1104

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1105

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1106

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1107

Why would you do that to Christopher Lee?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1108

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1109

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1110

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1111

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1112

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1113

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1114

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1115

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1116

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1117

Colin:

What’s with the camcorder sort of handheld feel to the reaction shots? It happened a few times already when cutting back to a ship flying quickly through the battle, like it was out of focus for a second and the shot was shaky. Now we get it as it cuts back to the clone troopers watching the starship fall.

I love that I already had these shots at the ready for this exact same reason.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1118

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1119

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1120

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1121

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1122

Colin:

This cloud of dust is the best thing they could have done right now. Red and blue lasers everywhere. Finally something positive about this fight.

(I would like everyone to point out — one of the beauties of these articles is that I get all the screenshots on my own, and Colin has no idea what I am or am not going to take a screenshot of. He just writes his notes from watching the movie straight through. And I have to say… we’ve done, what? 13 movies now? I’d say I had to go back and add screenshots for maybe about four scenes, total, in all 13 movies. Just to give a visual for something Colin called attention to that I didn’t already have. Every other time, I have the screenshots on hand for everything he brings up.)

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1123

Why must you point at everything? If you’re gonna point, point at those titties.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1124

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1125

This really is straight Apocalypse Now.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1126

Seriously… why would you do this to him?

Colin:

Minor point, but that’s an old dude doing a few hundred miles an hour with no windshield. Gonna want some Space Visine.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1127

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1128

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1129

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1130

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1131

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1132

Well that’s a convenient way to make them go alone.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1133

Thank you, close ups.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1134

“Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way!”

But… boobies.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1135

WHY MUST YOU KEEP CUTTING BACK TO THIS?!!!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1136

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1137

Anakin wants Padme.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1138

“You’ll be expelled from the Jedi order!”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1139

“I can’t leave her!”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1140

LOVE this shot. Yoda in close up, and the asshole with the binoculars from the first movie… nice.

Colin:

“The droid army is in full retreat.” “Well done, commander. Ears and noses will be the trophies of the day.”

But really though.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1141

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1142

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1143

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1144

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1145

Wow… it got destroyed JUST as it dropped them off. Quelle surprise.

Colin:

It got blown up just as they get out! HAHAHA!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1146

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1147

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1148

“I’ve been expecting you… Mr. Bond.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1149

Colin:

Slowly on the left. Yes. I’ve found it’s best to discuss your attack strategy audibly in front of your enemy.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1150

LEEROY JENKINS!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1151

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1152

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1153

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1154

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1155

Colin:

Oh, Anakin! Guess what!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1156

“As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now… back down.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1157

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1158

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1159

I like how he’s just one handing that shit.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1160

“I don’t think so.”

Really? With the toplighting?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1161

Colin:

Dooku’s lightsaber is awesome. The curved hilt is sexy as hell, and it’s got a blade guard on it. He does the Makashi Salute at the beginning, which shows that he’s a Form II user. Form II is focused on dueling, which is why Dooku’s such a boss in lightsaber duels. Obi Wan uses Form III, which is defensive and waits for the opponent to make a mistake or to leave an opening. Anakin uses Form V, which is a lot more power and counterattacks. Probably not a good pairing for the speed of Form II. But we’ll see how the duel goes.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1162

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1163

I love that he taunts him the whole time. Like, “Surely you can fight better than this.” That’s great.

Colin:

This is one of the best duels in the prequels if only because it’s Christopher Lee and he’s just taunting them the whole time.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1164

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1165

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1166

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1167

That kind of looks like it could almost say “titties.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1168

All right.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1169

Naturally she’s gotta go after Anakin.

Colin:

How did you know they were going to a hangar?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1170

Look at that run.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1171

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1172

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1173

Dude, stop being such a bitch and get up.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1174

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1175

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1176

Best facial expression in the movie.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1177

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1178

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1179

KNEECAPPED!!

Colin:

This is the slowed down version of what happened in Empire. One of the duelists starts a twisting motion, and once it gives, the other guy is fucked.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1180

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1181

Right?

Colin:

The moment isn’t so much that clip, but the second I saw your screenshot, that was the first thing I thought. And then I saw you had linked to something, and it was confirmed.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1182

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1183

Time to go in for the kill.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1184

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1185

Or… not.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Force jumps?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1186

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1187

Not quite as badass as Palpatine, is it?

He’s cowering like a little bitch.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1188

Time for this showdown.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1189

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1190

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1191

“Catch!”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1192

Double lightsabers, baby.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1193

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1194

Oh yeah.

Still trying to decide which is more badass, two lightsabers like this, or the Darth Maul version.

Which would be harder to pull off in an actual fight? I guess Darth Maul, since he had one lightsaber and was fighting two people.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1195

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1196

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1197

You have real bad luck with those things, kid.

Colin:

That lightsaber didn’t last too long. We’re just going right through these things. I’m a little unclear with the whole lightsaber construction thing. For example, Dooku chose his hilt and everything, and I know there’s a thing about gathering the crystals to make the power source and all that. But other than the crystal thing, what do they mean by “construction” of a lightsaber? That’s the word Vader uses when he checks out Luke’s new one in Return of the Jedi. There’s no way these guys all know metallurgy and smelting and metalworking and shit. I’m pretty sure you just bring the crystals to a lightsaber shop and the rest is like Build-a-Bear.

It would be pretty badass to pull a Lucius Malfoy and have a cane that’s also a lightsaber.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1198

Trying to pull some Adventures of Robin Hood shit now, aren’t you, George?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1199

Colin:

FUCK THIS HOSE!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1200

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1201

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1202

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1203

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1204

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1205

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1206

Scaramanga.

Colin:

I’m pleasantly surprised. You’re focusing on the faces. The place is dark so we’re more in tune with the red and blue motif (Like Empire? Hah. Nice try.), and you’re not so concerned with the choreography. This could be worse.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1207

It’s actually smart to light it like this. Because I personally want to think that Christopher Lee is actually doing all this fighting too.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1208

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1209

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1210

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1211

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1212

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1213

REALLY?!!

REALLY, GEORGE?!!!

I completely forgot this happened here, and I am disgusted.

Colin:

Once again, they slow the action WAY down to show you him getting chopped. Just like with the Darth Maul fight, the victim has EONS to figure out what’s about to happen.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1214

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1215

Colin:

But now you ain’t got no arm. And he Force Pushes you back over to Obi Wan, which is adding insult to injury. Then again, you wanna talk about the quickest way to lose 10 pounds…

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1216

His hair is so great.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1217

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1218

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1219

Oh yeah, Yoda.

Colin:

Thanks for showing up at such a leisurely pace, Yoda. You fucking asshole. Maybe try a little more pep in your step next time.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1220

“You have interfered with our affairs for the last time.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1221

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1222

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1223

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1224

Old person fight.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1225

Tiger style.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1226

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1227

Gospel style.

Colin:

Ever notice how Christopher Lee is super good at contorting his fingers in creepy ways? Wait until Fellowship of the Ring, when we see him turning on (is that what he’s doing?) the Palantir with his creepy hand. It’s just like here. This is just Christopher Lee’s idea of what magic hands look like.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1228

OH WE DON’T NEED NO WATER LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1229

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1230

Colin:

Force Lightning? Why you think he has those fingernails, homey?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1231

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1232

Oh, but this is actually a Kamehameha.

Colin:

Actually, this is a technique called Tutaminis. It allows the user to take in energy or deflect it back. Yoda and Obi Wan, for instance, are good enough at this that they can take blaster shots into their hand without damage. Yoda does the same thing with the Force Lightning. Supposedly, this is what Vader does with Han Solo’s blaster shot on Cloud City, too. So it was a Force thing. But I think that’s awesome. Only badasses can begin to use this really well, but when you do, you just handle everything they got and say, “Oh, is that all?”

(I’d like to point out that Colin’s comment was not written in response to mine at all. And somehow, it is.)

Colin:

C’mon, buddy.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1233

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1234

GET THIS WEAK ASS SHIT OUT MY FACE!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1235

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1236

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1237

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1238

“Much to learn, you still have.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1239

“It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force.”

Oh, really? Damn. I had the scantron all ready and everything.

Not even a couple essays?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1240

“But by our skills with a lightsaber.”

Hooray, militarism!

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1241

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1242

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1243

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1244

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1245

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1246

That was pretty badass.

Colin:

Okay, so now we have a dick measuring contest. Which…he may look tiny, but he’s packing.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1247

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1248

Think of the actual height difference in this fight. I don’t mean with just anyone, I mean with Christopher Lee.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1249

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1250

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1251

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1252

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1253

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1254

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1255

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1256

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1257

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1258

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1259

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1260

DID YOU TWO SERIOUSLY NOT MOVE YET?

Ten points if Obi-Wan just kicks Anakin’s head, like, “Wake up, bitch, we’re leaving.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1261

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1262

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1263

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1264

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1265

Why not throw it into the ship?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1266

It’s right fucking there. Throw it a the ship and you’ll stop him.

Colin:

Really not happy that Yoda had to fight. You had to do it. Not only does he duel, but he duels unspectacularly and sort of loses. Yoda’s a character who should have been more about the mental side of the Force. We want him to be wise and intelligent. Having him bested by Dooku like this hurts to watch. Also, how come he just went with it when Dooku clumsily suggested they duel? Yoda didn’t attack Dooku once. What did he plan to do before the duel? I’d have loved to see something new or different from Yoda, but instead we have to watch him flip around like a moron to make up for his diminutive stature.

What’s funny is I’m going to voice this exact same opinion in the next movie. In fact, I understand this one more, because they pretty much had to do it. But the one with Palpatine in the next movie is the one I don’t understand. But we’ll get to that next week.

Colin:

I’m fine with Dooku having to get away, and I’m cool with them using Anakin and Obi Wan as the excuse for Yoda to be distracted. But did you notice how Yoda was pushing with all his might, and Dooku just needed one hand to hold him off, using the other to drop the thing on them? This is nothing more than a physical contest. I’m sorry, but I hate it and I want something better. I want to stress this so it’s clear to anyone who may take issue with my complaints: when you have a weak story that doesn’t afford even the most important characters much personality or uniqueness, they should at least be differentiated by their mode of action. It’s one thing that in these prequels, characters like Yoda and Mace Windu have all the variety and excitement of an oatmeal cookbook, but you need to give them some external qualities or abilities that act as identifying features. At this point, the description, “Pretty boring and fights with a lightsaber” applies to about 5 different major characters.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1267

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1268

Look at dem boobies bounce.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1269

Naturally you show up just a second too late.

Colin:

So Dooku escapes, in a moment that’s supposed to remind you of Leia firing at a departing Slave I. The difference is that in that case, she was emotional about the loss of the man she loved. Here, it’s Padme firing at some dude who’s doing….something.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1270

I bet that droid also gives him handys during long flights.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1271

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1272

Colin:

His ship has a space sail. Dunno what that’s about or even how that works.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1273

Colin:

Now Yoda goes back to walking slowing again. What? Why does he make it look like it’s an exertion just to walk slowly now?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1274

Colin:

If they didn’t see this shit coming, they should get it now. Padme runs in, yells Anakin’s name and cuddles up to him. Think maybe there’s something between them?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1275

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1276

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1277

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1278

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1279

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1280

I love this place. I love industrial areas.

Colin:

I love the idea of an industrial sector on Coruscant. Though you have to imagine it’s not quite as competitive as it once was and that it’s starting to dry up.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1281

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1282

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1283

“The Force is with us, my master Sidious.”

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1284

The atmosphere is Palpatine.

Shouldn’t they be revealing it right about now? Isn’t that how you’re supposed to end the second part of a trilogy?

Oh… wait… I forgot who was writing this.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1285

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1286

They’re gonna keep a close eye on the senate.

Colin:

So is Anakin…getting that arm looked at, or…?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1287

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1288

Anakin’s going (going) back (back) to Naboo.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1289

Obi-Wan also says that without the clones, they wouldn’t have had a victory in that battle.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1290

“Victory? Victory, you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has.”

Colin:

It’s so weird how they have these conversations. It’s always arguments followed by an agreement of some sort. “Did you hear what Dooku said?!” “Yeah, but he’s a Sith, so we can’t trust him.” “But we should still probably act on what he said, right?” “Oh. Yeah, totally.” What the FUCK was the point of that conversation?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1291

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1292

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1293

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1294

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1295

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1296

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1297

This should be the last shot of the movie.

But no…

Colin:

Two movies in a row, and they couldn’t make it any less subtle at the end that Palpatine’s an evil fuck. Are you guys even trying anymore?

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1298

Should’ve started Episode III with this, man.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1299

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1300

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1301

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1302

Eww… now I’m thinking about him fingering her.

I do know what he can do with his little finger :(

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1303

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1304

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1305

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1306

He still wants him to suck his dick.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1307

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1308

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1309

Colin:

I’m trying to think of a couple that looked less happy about their marriage.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1310

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1311

You really should have ended with Palpatine and started the next one with this.

Wow… I’m not even trying and I’ve already written a better trilogy than Lucas did.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones - 1312

Colin:

Does a marriage count if your witnesses are droids? Just saying.

– – – – – – – – – –

Well that’s finally over.

Colin:

Oh, thank god it’s over. I’m out of…I was going to say I was out of things to say, but I might as well be out of blood. Holy FUCK that was impossible to watch

Tomorrow is our favorite images, Sunday is final thoughts, then Monday we finish the franchise with Revenge of the Sith.

(See the rest of the Fun with Franchises articles here.)

http://bplusmovieblog.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.