Fun with Franchises: Final Thoughts on the Twilight Saga — Eclipse

All right… we’ve watched the film, talked about it, had fun with it, and then we went and listed our favorite images from the film yesterday. Now all that’s left is to finish up with what we actually thought about the film as a whole.

This is our space to go over what we liked and didn’t like about each film we watch for Fun with Franchises. We talk about specific things as we get to them during the articles, and we’ll mention our general thoughts during them, but we don’t really ever get to sit and do broad strokes during the articles. So this is why we do these Final Thoughts. We get to take a step back and talk about the films as a whole, rather than discussing specific scenes or images. We’ll talk about how we felt about the film, how we liked it as a film, how we liked it as a member of its franchise, and where we think it falls within that franchise.

Again, it’s not very complicated, but it is a place to find out what we actually thought about certain movies, since, while we’re having fun with them in the articles, it may get difficult to tell sometimes. Because we’ll just rip things to shreds for fun, even if we love them.

So here are our final thoughts on The Twilight Saga: Eclipse:

Final Thoughts on The Twilight Saga: Eclipse:

Colin:

Here’s the third film down, and it’s the third film in a row that’s vying for last place out of all of them so far. I really hated this movie. Let’s talk about that briefly, even though I have next to nothing to say.

This movie’s main conflict is STILL Victoria. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills saying this over and over, but this is a conflict “arc” that’s lasted three whole films that began with a showdown at a vampire baseball game. The level of “I don’t give a shit” has reached a critical point, so while I was able to humor them during New Moon, I’m was giving this whole movie the finger as I watched it (taking breaks to type notes).

The shoddiest thing about this film is the worst thing about the whole “saga” — and I really take issue with the use of that word — that it’s assumed that we’ll care about young lovers because of some stupid obstacles that get thrown in their way. I could almost get it if they did it like a Romeo and Juliet where she was a vampire and he was a werewolf, and their love was ACTUALLY forbidden. But this is merely, they’re young and ostensibly in love and there’s something evil out there looking to kill one of them. So obviously we care. How was this book even written? Is this the least popular of the four books? My theory is that the monkey tapping away infinitely, trying to reproduce the works of Skakespeare took a dump in his typewriter and sent the results to Stephenie Meyer.

The production value was up a bit.

Oh, right, I forgot how the propaganda killed me. All the potential for teenage, premarital sex was dashed to oblivion in this movie. At their core, these books and films are offering some ACTUAL lessons to tweens and teenagers about relationships and sex. So while I’d rather they pick up lessons from this than from, say, The Accused, (Mike Note: I still might pick The Accused.) this blatant abstinence-only message is pretty awful. Abstinence-only education is counter-productive in fighting teen pregnancy and STDs, and it blurs the distinction between religion and science in a way that shouldn’t be accepted by mainstream audiences. Ideally, they would have been willing to go for it, using some sort of contraception and then find out that the vampire thing posed a real danger or whatever. It’s what happens after they get married, so it could easily be put here. We see them going through the motions and taking necessary precautions, and then Meyer gets to keep them from going through with it in the end because of something else. I’d like to be optimistic and think that teens reading the books or watching the movies recognize what the message is and don’t just let it wash over them and into their unconscious mind. But we’re talking about American teenagers here. I was an American teenager once, and they’re a pretty impressionable bunch. So while some films are merely bad, I also object to this one (and the whole “saga”) on moral grounds.

Beyond all that, the acting is mediocre at best, the dialogue is piss-poor, and there wasn’t even an interesting location like we got in the last film. This is actually pretty amazing. Three movies that all suck in their own right, and you can almost make a case for them all being the worst. It’s actually down to which one you saw most recently.   

My Final Thoughts:

This movie was pretty shitty.

Mostly because it’s the one movie in this entire franchise that you can just eliminate and pretty much nothing changes in the overall “arc” of the franchise. (I won’t use quotations anymore, but you get what I’m saying.)

Even New Moon, which most would argue contains the flimsiest plot of all the Twilight films, does more for the overall story than this film does. At least there — you get the character development of Edward leaving her, plus the setup of the Volturi.

This movie has the Jacob vs. Edward decision, and then fills in the rest with leftover shit from the first movie. I don’t give a fuck about Victoria, I never did. And now she’s building an army? Yawn. That stuff is so inconsequential that Edward literally SAYS in this movie, “It’s an easy win” BEFORE THE FUCKING FIGHT HAPPENS. They add extra characters just to fill space and kill them off before they can get interesting. (See: Bree Tanner. What a wasted opportunity that was.)

The Edward vs. Jacob thing could have been interesting if they really dealt with it and made it a little less clear than “it was Edward all along” — which has been abundantly clear from the first movie. The fact that they didn’t even try to cast doubt on that makes this entire movie utterly pointless.

So I can’t see how I can enjoy something that’s entirely inconsequential.

It’s actually pretty fucked up that so far the only movie that ends with something of consequence is the first one. (And we know how much I hate that first one.) At least there, they have the climax and they kill the guy and she almost dies and almost is turned, and Edward has to make a decision about her fate. It was shitty, but it was a climax. The second movie has no climax at all. “She knows of our kind, she must die.” Nahh… she’ll be one of us soon.” “Oh… well okay. See ya.” And this movie serves no purpose at all. To the point where — Edward asks her to marry him at the end of New Moon. They have the wedding at the very beginning of Breaking Dawn Part 1. So basically all that happens in this movie is that she says “Yes.” Which you can fucking infer from the final shot of New Moon.

So there’s actually no point to this movie whatsoever. So I find it hard to spend any time talking about it.

Compared to the first movie, though — this is almost passable. So there’s that.

– – – – – – – – – –

Tomorrow starts Breaking Dawn Part 1.

(See the rest of the Fun with Franchises articles here.)

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