The Oscar Quest: Best Supporting Actor & Best Supporting Actress – 2006

This year was a weak year for acting. A weak, weak year. They either picked bad choices or unworthy ones. It was weird. They were voting on the person and not on the performance. Seriously, looking at these lists, how bland can you get?

Best Supporting Actor – 2006

And the nominees were…

Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine

Jackie Earl Haley, Little Children

Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond

Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls

Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

Arkin — A lot of factors went into this one. First, it is a very entertaining performance. I mean, he didn’t actually do all that much, but, it was a veteran nomination. He’s been putting in solid work for years. It was only a matter of time. Also, they really, really didn’t want Eddie Murphy to win. That was for two reasons. One, because the performance wasn’t really all that great. Two, Eddie Murphy is liked and a fine actor and all, but, he makes such shit movies. That one wasn’t a dealbreaker though. Though maybe it was. But then again, how do you explain Sandra Bullock? I think the real dealbreaker was Eddie Murphy’s behavior in the business. He’s not exactly the Clooney type. But, I can see why they voted Arkin based on this list. This is actually a perfect time to reward a veteran. Plus, Arkin is hysterical as the heroin addict grandfather. So, that works.

Haley — This motherfucker did a great job in this movie. I don’t know if I’d vote for him to win, but goddamn, this is a nice, “Hey, I’m still alive” performance. Dude plays a pedophile who is now out of prison and living in suburbia, where everyone knows everyone else’s business. So all the conservative fucks are all frightened for their children and such, and acting like the idiots we know them as. And he’s at home, trying to control his urges, to the point where he’s on a date with a woman and whips out his dick in the car when he’d probably have gotten somewhere had he not. Stuff like that. He also, instead of doing something, castrates himself. So, that happens. Good performance though. Check it out. Also, all the football scenes take place on my high school football field. It was worth mentioning. Kate Winslet made out on my football field. That makes one of us. Because that place is disgusting. That shows how dedicated she is to the performance. Because, eww.

Hounsou — Yeah, I can’t defend this nomination. Nor can I defend the other one (Leo). This movie sucked. Like, really sucked. Actually —

Remember when I said if I disagreed with at least three of the nominees, I’d look through and see if I could find better ones? Well, I disagree with three of the nominees. Well, definitely two. I think they probably could have found a better third if they tried. So rather than talk about how I find Djimon’s performance unworthy of a nomination (though I like Djimon, I will say that. This is purely objective based on performance), I’m going to look through and try to find other ones that could have been nominated instead.

Let’s see…

How about Brad Pitt in Babel? That shit would have immediately jumped up to #1. Maybe #2. He was great in that. I guess Nicholson in The Departed was a bit too much. He went full Nicholson. Baldwin wouldn’t have been nominated even though he was solid. Plus they’d have taken away from Wahlberg. How about Michael Caine in Children of Men? I mean, the performance wasn’t that great, but, couple it with him being in The Prestige as well and at least when you look at it you could be like, “At least those movies were good, and they’re honoring them with a nomination. And not this Blood Diamond bullshit.” What about that dude that played the badass general in Pan’s Labyrinth? That motherfucker was great. What about Ken Watanabe in Letters from Iwo Jima? I know it’s technically a lead role, but the Academy would never nominate him for that, and they have an amazing habit of pushing lead performances to supporting if it would help their cause. That motherfucker deserved to be nominated for lead as it was. But, like Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit, I’ll take supporting if it helps the chances. So why not? It could be reasoned. Plus, he’d be better than almost everyone on the list.

I can’t really find anyone else. Man, this year sucked for good performances.

Anyway, no Djimon.

Murphy — Yeah, I didn’t like this movie. I thought all the performances sucked and were extremely overrated. No way would I vote Eddie Murphy to win just because. Can’t do it. I don’t even want to get into it. Just watch the movie with the mindset of, “This motherfucker won a Golden Globe for this performance, and was the favorite to win the Oscar going into Oscar night.” Then tell me if you think that was just.

Wahlberg — Yeah, I love this movie. I love this performance. It’s not exactly Shakespeare, but, dude steals every scene he’s in (the epitome of a great supporting performance. Especially since he doesn’t steal the movie. He just makes his impact), and is a much better choice than Nicholson. So, in that case, he gets my vote.

My Thoughts: Based on this list, I vote Wahlberg. I don’t mind that Arkin won, since he’d be my second choice, and I know that Wahlberg really had no shot in winning anyway. So, as long as Murphy didn’t win, it was cool.


5. Hounsou

4. Murphy

3. Haley

2. Arkin

1. Wahlberg

Best Supporting Actress – 2006

And the nominees were…

Adriana Barraza, Babel

Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal

Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine

Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

I’m just gonna start now and say, I absolutely disagree with three of these nominees. So I’m just going to look for alternatives now…

For starters, Vera Farmiga in The Departed. That automatically becomes your frontrunner. She was fucking amazing. Seriously, what’s with the lack of Departed love? And Toni Collette in Little Miss Sunshine. That one is more wishful thinking, but, she was better than at least two or three people on this list. And then…

Shit, I got nothing. Was this year really that bad that there was no one else? Judi Dench in Casino Royale? Is that asking too much? She was entertaining as all hell. I know that would never, ever happen, though. Emily Blunt in Devil Wears Prada? Everyone loved the performance. I don’t think it’s nomination worthy, but, against Jennifer Hudson and Cate Blanchett, I’d prefer Emily Blunt. Who wouldn’t?

Yeah, I got nothing. Wow, did this year suck for performances.

Barraza — I loved this performance. She was never, ever going to win, but, she did a great job as the Mexican nanny to Brad Pitt’s children. Pitt and Blanchett are stuck in, wherever they are, because she accidentally gets shot on a bus, and the nanny brings the kids into Mexico to go to her son’s wedding or something like that. And on their way back to the country, there’s an issue at the border, and her son flees and drives off into the desert. And her and the kids are left to themselves. And they start wandering, and eventually she leaves the kids in a spot and loses them. And then she’s picked up by Customs. And she’s fucking distraught the whole time, because, are the children okay? And it’s heartbreaking as they treat her like shit and she knows she fucked up. And eventually they deport her. But, she did a great job with this. Especially in a category as weak as this.

Blanchett — Lead role. Lead role, lead role. And not even an interesting one at that. She’s a teacher who is married to an older man and has a retarded son. And she has an affair with a student of hers. High school. Not, like, middle school or anything. And her colleague, Judi Dench, is creepy. She’s a closeted lesbian who slowly infiltrates Blanchett’s life and becomes friends with her. Then she uses her knowledge of the affair to slowly manipulate her. Like, “My cat died and we need to bury him.” “But I’m going to a play with my children.” And she slowly, but without saying it, says, “Imma tell people if you don’t come with me.” Shit like that. Anyway, Blanchett plays it as sort of dumb and naive, but also stressed and such. I don’t know. It’s a lead role, and I just didn’t think it was all that good to be nominated. But in this year … fuck, who cares. She was never going to win anyway.

Breslin — I loved this performance. Perfect as a ten-year old. You feel for this girl every step of the way. The scene that really clinches it is the one with her and Arkin in the hotel room. It’s fantastic. I can’t really speak of this as tremendous acting, but, in terms of an effective performance, in a category like this, shit, I might even vote for her. Seriously, try to watch this and not feel for the character. I dare you.

Hudson — So she wins American Idol, does this movie, does nothing but sings well, and wins an Oscar for it? What was the Academy thinking? She was clearly not going to be Liza Minnelli. She hasn’t even been in another film since (at least …acting), and the performance wasn’t even that good to begin with. Seriously? I won’t even berate it. Just, why would you vote for it? Seriously.

Kikuchi — I liked this performance, but, if it got left off, I wouldn’t miss it. It’s one of those. She plays the whole thing silent, because she’s a deaf girl. In the movie. Not, like, her. But, she barely speaks English, so, essentially. But, she’s looking for some sort of connection to the world. And she goes out, does drugs, goes to a club — you know, I don’t even remember what she does. I remember at the end, a cop comes to ask her father questions about — well, it’s them tying every single strand together in the most random way — and she gets naked and tries to seduce him, because, she’s looking for any form of connection. So she looked good. That’s a plus. What else do I have to go on with this list? I did feel for the character, and thought she did a good job with it, but, I guess it’s — actually, in this list, she’s probably like third choice. Seriously, Academy? Pick better nominees.

My Thoughts: Vote is between Barraza and Breslin. The rest weren’t vote-worthy. Just gonna say, Vera Farmiga wins this hands down if she’s nominated. But, I guess I vote Barraza, because, why not? Anyone but Jennifer Hudson. Why did she win?


5. Blanchett (Because it’s a lead)

4. Hudson

3. Kikuchi

2. Breslin

1. Barraza

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