Archive for February, 2016

88th Academy Awards Recap

So the Oscars were last night. A lot to talk about.

This is where we officially close the book on 2015 and move into 2016. I’ll try to give everything its due, but there was a point about an hour into the ceremony where I was just kind of over it and wanted to move on.

Overall it was a strange year. They really spread the wealth around. Mad Max won six, I think, and then The Revenant won 3 and Spotlight won 2 and then everything else only won 1. Crazy.

A lot of major stats fell and a lot of crazy shit happened. So let’s get into it: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “I’m just saying, this seems like an unnecessary risk considering our objective, sir.” “Our objective is to win the war.”

Saving Private Ryan - 62


88th Academy Awards Live-Blog

I live-blogged the Oscars tonight. I have no real thoughts on anything yet. I just typed up everything as I watched, and I’m going to post it right now without having proofread anything. Because that’s what real people do. Fuck that editing shit.

I’ll figure out my thoughts on it all tomorrow.

Here’s my 88th Academy Awards Live-Blog: (more…)


The 88th Academy Awards Scorecard

My friend introduced me to this last year. I had no idea people did it, and I honestly think it’s the best way to pick the Oscars. Here’s how it works:

You take every category and rank all of the nominees in terms of order you think they’re going to win. If your #1 choice wins, you get 1 point. If #2 wins, you get to. Etc. And in the end, you tally your score up. And the lowest score (24 being the lowest) wins. It’s very simple, and the only time it gets confusing is if a tie happens, which is pretty rare in the history of the Academy (even though one did happen in 2012).

I prefer it because it’s based more on diagnosing the category than simply picking a winner. And diagnosing categories is my specialty.

Here’s my scorecard for this year’s Oscars: (more…)


The B+ Oscar Ballot: 2015 – The Quick Picks

My giant ballot article went up a few hours ago. This is the abridged version of that, for easy reference during the ceremony.

Here’s everything you should be taking, and what I’m taking. Very succinct, with cliff notes versions of all the categories.

And in a bit, I’m gonna post my scorecard for how I’m gonna rank myself on that. (Note: The rankings here may be slightly different from the ones I’m picking on the Scorecard.)

Here are the quick picks for the 88th Academy Awards: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice – it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed!”

Moonstruck - 10


The B+ Oscar Guide to the 88th Academy Awards

Everything you need for Oscar night in one place. I make things as simple or as complex as you want them to be. You can read all 34,000 words like the insane person who wrote them, or you can skip through and look purely for my picks. It’s up to you. All I can promise is a respectable showing in your office/party pool and enough knowledge to make you look like you know what you’re talking about.

This article acts as both my own personal ballot as well as a tool for guessing what will win in every category. On the personal side, this acts as an extension of my Oscar Quest. I rank each category based on my thoughts having seen all the nominees and pick what I’d vote for if I were casting a ballot. That’s just for me. The practical side is more interesting. I run down every category, discuss the nominees in depth. I give you all the precursor information you need, then break down the categories. I tell you what’s most likely going to win, what its biggest competition is, and which nominee has a chance at sneaking up to surprise everyone with a win. I also link to all the category breakdowns I’ve been writing over the past couple of weeks (hint: you can click the name of each category to get to them) if you want every bit of information you can possibly get.

Then, at the very end, I plainly say “Here’s what I am taking on my ballot” and “Here is what you should take, because it is the safest and smartest decision, based on everything I’ve presented above.” I also color code everything, so you can easily find stuff. No one else goes this nuts with their coverage. Trust me. This is why you come to me. (more…)


Oscars 2015: MPSE Awards

The last guild has FINALLY announced their winners. You know, the night before the fucking Oscars, as if that helps us in any way.

Let’s run through them quickly:

Dialogue + ADR: Bridge of Spies

Sound Effects + Foley: Mad Max: Fury Road The Revenant (TIE!!!!)

Music in a Feature Film: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Music in a Musical: Love & Mercy

 

 

 

Well, that’s certainly a deadlock. Probably spells trouble for Mad Max tomorrow.

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Oscars 2015: Razzie Awards

The Razzies were just announced an hour ago. The hits just keep on coming today. And here you thought I was done posting shit.

I should probably learn not to make myself have to put up ten articles the day before the Oscars when I’m trying to write up a giant article for the next day. But we all know I’m stupid, so why should anything change?

Here are your Razzie winners: (more…)


Oscars 2015: Independent Spirit Awards

The Independent Spirit Awards were held today. I usually pay no attention to them in terms of results, but they are one of the more fun awards shows, as they take place in a tent on the beach in Santa Monica, and everyone gets loaded and gets all their nerves out before the Oscars the following day.

I’ve got little to say or add to this, so I’ll just run through the results, and then get back to typing up my giant Oscar article that’ll go up tomorrow morning.

Here are your Spirit Awards results: (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: Spotlight

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our final nominee is Spotlight:

Spotlight - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: Room

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is Room:

Room - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: The Revenant

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is The Revenant:

The Revenant - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: The Martian

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is The Martian:

The Martian - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: Mad Max: Fury Road

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is Mad Max: Fury Road:

Mad Max Fury Road - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: Brooklyn

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is Brooklyn:

Brooklyn - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: Bridge of Spies

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

Our next nominee is Bridge of Spies:

Bridge of Spies - Title Card (more…)


My Favorite Moments in the Best Picture Nominees: The Big Short

This has become an annual tradition the day before the Oscars. In order move away all the subjectivity and negativity that happens when figuring out what should win and what’s going to win, I get away from all of that stuff and celebrate the films that are nominated for Best Picture.

We take this day to look at them as masterworks of cinema and not as films competing for a trophy. All of that other stuff — the analysis, the opinions — that’s all done with. Today, we take a minute, we stop, and we appreciate the films themselves. I count down my five favorite moments (or elements) of each of them.

When you take away all the awards, all the competition, and all the arbitrary decisions about what film is better than the others, what we’re left with is great cinema. That’s what we’re celebrating.

We begin with our first nominee, The Big Short. I don’t know about you, but I’m jacked to the tits.

The Big Short - Title Card (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Would you like to come in?” “I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”

Terms of Endearment - 20


Oscars 2015 by Box Office

One thing I like to do each year is check in to see how the Best Picture nominees are doing in terms of box office. Some people like to think it matters, but it really doesn’t. If they like a film (The Artist, The Hurt Locker), it doesn’t matter how much it made. But it’s also interesting to see how much things are making nonetheless.

And since this has become an annual thing, I’m just gonna go and show all the Best Picture nominees where there are concrete box office figures and see how each winner did. Because fuck it,  maybe some people think this is important. Mostly I’m interested to see what some of these nominees made.

So here’s how each Best Picture nominee has done, box office wise: (more…)


The Return of the Trivia

Four years ago, I posted an article with a bunch of Oscar trivia. A whole lot of random factoids and lists of “mosts” and “bests” and all that stuff that comes with me having followed the Oscars for as long as I have.

And I always liked it, but it went up once, and I’d mention that I was updating it, but I don’t think people really knew it was there. So I decided to go back and dust if off, and add a bunch more stuff and really make it in depth and have it so that it’s around all the time.

So, if you look up top on the bar, you’ll see a tab up on the menu called “Oscar Trivia” — that’s the new and improved Trivia article. It’ll stay up there (you’ll see that it has pending results, as we await the Oscars this Sunday, which I will update once they happen), I’ll keep updating it as we go, and whenever I come across good stuff, I’ll add it in.

Here’s a link to the article, for those who don’t want to actually do work:

The Oscars: Facts, Trivia and Miscellanea

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Pic of the Day: “You obviously know my job better than I do.” “Yes well, you are my tenth Prime Minister Mr Blair. My first of course was Winston Churchill, he sat in your chair in a frock coat and top hat. And he was kind enough to give a shy young girl like me quite an education.” “I would imagine.”

The Queen - 2


Oscars 2015 by Statistics

This is a ridiculous little thing I do every year because it’s amusing to me. It’s not about what’s actually going to happen and the perception around the categories — it’s simply trying to boil each category down to a formula based purely on basic statistics.

The idea is to take every Oscar category in the big six, list them alphabetically, tally how many times each position has won, and then predict how the Oscars are going to go this year.

Why do I do this? I don’t know. But I love statistics, and reading something like this appeals to me more than campaigning and talking about how racist the Academy is does. So I keep doing it.

So here’s what’s gonna win this year based on random statistics: (more…)


Oscars 2015 Category Breakdown: Best Picture

Every year before the Oscars I break down each of the 24 categories. I do this to familiarize everyone with the category, how it works, what its history is, how it usually turns out, and also as a precursor to my picks article, allowing me to get most of the heavy lifting out of the way beforehand.

How these work is — I go over each category’s history, give you all the previous winners and nominees, then list the current year’s nominees. And then I’ll go over how each of the guilds (if there is a corresponding guild) have went, and how that corresponds to the Oscars (some guilds mean a lot to how a category will play out. Others mean nothing). It’s basically everything you need to know in order to make an informed decision when you make your picks on Oscar night. And then I also rank the nominees at the end in terms of where I see them in terms of their likelihood to win.

Today is the big one, Best Picture. Which is supposed to be worth a thousand words. But I’m writing 2000. Because fuck you. (more…)