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Archive for February, 2016

88th Academy Awards Recap

So the Oscars were last night. A lot to talk about.

This is where we officially close the book on 2015 and move into 2016. I’ll try to give everything its due, but there was a point about an hour into the ceremony where I was just kind of over it and wanted to move on.

Overall it was a strange year. They really spread the wealth around. Mad Max won six, I think, and then The Revenant won 3 and Spotlight won 2 and then everything else only won 1. Crazy.

A lot of major stats fell and a lot of crazy shit happened. So let’s get into it: (more…)

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Pic of the Day: “I’m just saying, this seems like an unnecessary risk considering our objective, sir.” “Our objective is to win the war.”

Saving Private Ryan - 62


88th Academy Awards Live-Blog

I live-blogged the Oscars tonight. I have no real thoughts on anything yet. I just typed up everything as I watched, and I’m going to post it right now without having proofread anything. Because that’s what real people do. Fuck that editing shit.

I’ll figure out my thoughts on it all tomorrow.

Here’s my 88th Academy Awards Live-Blog: (more…)


The 88th Academy Awards Scorecard

My friend introduced me to this last year. I had no idea people did it, and I honestly think it’s the best way to pick the Oscars. Here’s how it works:

You take every category and rank all of the nominees in terms of order you think they’re going to win. If your #1 choice wins, you get 1 point. If #2 wins, you get to. Etc. And in the end, you tally your score up. And the lowest score (24 being the lowest) wins. It’s very simple, and the only time it gets confusing is if a tie happens, which is pretty rare in the history of the Academy (even though one did happen in 2012).

I prefer it because it’s based more on diagnosing the category than simply picking a winner. And diagnosing categories is my specialty.

Here’s my scorecard for this year’s Oscars: (more…)


The B+ Oscar Ballot: 2015 – The Quick Picks

My giant ballot article went up a few hours ago. This is the abridged version of that, for easy reference during the ceremony.

Here’s everything you should be taking, and what I’m taking. Very succinct, with cliff notes versions of all the categories.

And in a bit, I’m gonna post my scorecard for how I’m gonna rank myself on that. (Note: The rankings here may be slightly different from the ones I’m picking on the Scorecard.)

Here are the quick picks for the 88th Academy Awards: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice – it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed!”

Moonstruck - 10


The B+ Oscar Guide to the 88th Academy Awards

Everything you need for Oscar night in one place. I make things as simple or as complex as you want them to be. You can read all 34,000 words like the insane person who wrote them, or you can skip through and look purely for my picks. It’s up to you. All I can promise is a respectable showing in your office/party pool and enough knowledge to make you look like you know what you’re talking about.

This article acts as both my own personal ballot as well as a tool for guessing what will win in every category. On the personal side, this acts as an extension of my Oscar Quest. I rank each category based on my thoughts having seen all the nominees and pick what I’d vote for if I were casting a ballot. That’s just for me. The practical side is more interesting. I run down every category, discuss the nominees in depth. I give you all the precursor information you need, then break down the categories. I tell you what’s most likely going to win, what its biggest competition is, and which nominee has a chance at sneaking up to surprise everyone with a win. I also link to all the category breakdowns I’ve been writing over the past couple of weeks (hint: you can click the name of each category to get to them) if you want every bit of information you can possibly get.

Then, at the very end, I plainly say “Here’s what I am taking on my ballot” and “Here is what you should take, because it is the safest and smartest decision, based on everything I’ve presented above.” I also color code everything, so you can easily find stuff. No one else goes this nuts with their coverage. Trust me. This is why you come to me. (more…)