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Archive for December 18, 2018

Oscars 2018: Best Documentary Short Shortlist

Oh, whoops. Thought I posted this earlier. So I guess this is the final shortlist. Go figure, this is the forgotten category. Just like at the Oscars.

Because like you, I don’t have any clue what these things are. You find out when they announce them, you scour the internet for anything you can find about them and then you make broad generalizations about, “Well, they do like shorts about refugees…”

Apparently 104 films counted for this category, and they’ve shortlisted 10. So our lives were made easier by 90%.

Here is your Documentary Short Shortlist: (more…)

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Oscars 2018: Best Original Song Shortlist

Okay, your final shortlist, and the one that hurts the most.

Do you know how much I loved going through all 90-some-odd Original Song eligibles each year and working my way through them? At least give me the full list before you reduce it to 15! Where’s the fun in this?!

Now I just have 15, and it’s gonna be really obvious what the major contenders are, and we’re all working off a curve, and it’s so much easier. Where’s the skill in guessing this? Man, they are fucking up, all in the name of… I don’t even know what.

There were 90 songs eligible this year, and they deprived us of 75 of them before we had a chance to find out. (Disgusting.) I can’t even sit there and do the votes and figure things out, and have fun with it. Now it’s just boring. Thanks, Academy.

Here is your shortlist for Best Original Song: (more…)


Oscars 2018: Best Original Score Shortlist

Okay, now we’re at the last two shortlists, and I deliberately saved these for last because they’re the two newest and the two I’m least familiar with.

They narrowed down Score and Song? What? Sure, Score, it just makes it easier to guess, but do I want that? I had more fun when it was harder. And I had to guess from 120 scores. I’d go through, eliminate all but like, 35, and then I’d say “here’s fifteen that I guess could, but probably not,” and then end up with 20 that I think are the main contenders and then sort of rank what I think their chances are and narrow it down that way. Here, they do all the work for me! That’s not fun! And we’ll get to Song later. That’s just a travesty.

There were 156 eligible scores, and they’ve narrowed it down to 15. So 1/3 of this will be your category. Here is your shortlist for Best Original Score: (more…)


Oscars 2018: Best Animated Short Shortlist

The best thing about me writing all nine of these shortlists up is that you get to see me do this in real time. As they go up — that’s when I’m finding out about all of these movies. That’s the time it takes to do a nominal amount of research. And what’s funny is, as I search for these films (especially for the shorts categories), I keep seeing links to other people covering the shortlists… and no one’s done anything more than copy-paste them. It’s like they don’t even care about what these things are about. But that’s why you have me.

Here’s Animated Short. The last of the shorts. Ten potential nominees, five of them will make it. And everyone will say Pixar’s gonna win regardless. (I’m just assuming Pixar has made it on here, because fucking really.)

I know nothing about these whatsoever, so I guess we’ll find out about them as we go. And see which one is gonna join Academy Award winner Kobe Bryant in the pantheon of winners of this category.

Here is your Animated Short Shortlist: (more…)


2018: The Year in Reviews (March)

After Thanksgiving, most people get happy because they know Christmas is around the corner. I get happy because I know these articles are around the corner. Even if a year is absolutely atrocious and I get absolutely nothing done on this site (like this one), I know that once December rolls around, I have things to say until March. But before we get into the Oscars, we gotta wrap up the year.

Here’s the skinny for the newbies: every January I preview an ungodly amount of movies. And then, from then through December, I watch an ungodly amount of movies, tracking along the way what I thought of each of them. Then, when we get to this point, I recap everything and see how close I guessed my eventual rating back in January. That part is mostly for me, but along the way you get my thoughts of all the stuff I watched (which will probably give you a bunch of stuff you didn’t even know about). So everybody wins.

Today is March. (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.” “Yuck!” “That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.” “Why are you whispering?” “It’s for dramatic emphasis.”


Oscars 2018: Best Live-Action Short Shortlist

And now, Best Live-Action Shortlist. Because I wasn’t gonna force two documentary categories on your guys in a row. That would just be cruel.

Not much to say about this one. This is typically the hardest category of all to pick, because you never get to see them beforehand, you never know what they are, and you never really know the criteria for how they nominate stuff.

So pretty much all we do here is look at the ten films, read what they’re about, and then blindly guess, “Okay, that one sounds like it’ll be on,” and hope for the best.

So here is your shortlist for Best Live-Action Short: (more…)