Archive for January 2, 2015

Attempting to Rank Every Film I Saw in 2014

This has become an annual tradition for me. Because why not?

The way I do this is, I take every movie I saw in 2014 (from 2014. Not the older movies and such. I’ll allow a 2013 movie… you know what I mean), and rank them. It’s like playing War. Start with two cards. Which one is higher than the other? Which of the two movies would I watch first? Now, take another movie. Where does that fall next to the other two. And eventually, you have an entire list.

I watched (x) movies in 2014. (So far. The official list won’t be cut off for another few weeks. So this will be updated until that point with everything I see.) You can see them here, where I’m keeping track of every new movie I watch. I’ll rank them, in order (and then never look at this list again), starting with the top ten and 11-20, as they were in my Top Ten of 2014 article. There’s really nothing complex about this.

Here is my list, ranking every movie I saw in 2014: (more…)

Five-Word Movie Reviews of the Films of 2014

I got this idea during the year. I think it was when I wrote my review of Gimme Shelter. I won’t ruin it here, but as I wrote it, I realized it was a very succinct five word review of the movie. And then I thought, “I wonder if I could do that for every movie…” That’s how it starts with me. And now here we are.

Of course, not all of them are serious. In fact, I devolve into jokes pretty quickly. But they are a lot of fun to do. And they test your ability to be accurate and succinct. Or accurate, funny and succinct.

In case you don’t know what five word reviews are (which, it should be obvious), it stems from the six-word short story, and that famous tale that Ernest Hemingway bet everyone he was drinking with ten dollars he could write a short story in six words. And he wrote: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” This is a movie version of that. Examples of five word movie reviews are: The Wizard of Oz — There’s No Place Like Home; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — Burton, Taylor Drink, and Argue; and one of my personal best: Atonement — This Cunt Ruined Our Lives.

I think you get the idea. It’s pretty simple. And I thought it would be fun to do them for the entire year that is 2014. Which of course will most likely make it a recurring feature here on the blog. So, without further delay, here are five word movie reviews of all the films I saw in 2014: (more…)


Pic of the Day: “Forget it! I’m stayin’ right where I am. It’s gonna take you and the police department and the fire department and the National Guard to get me outta here!”

Norma Rae - 24

Oscars 2014: ACE Eddie Nominations

We have our first guild. The American Cinema Editors have announced their nominees. They’re one of the five most important guilds, because if something has a shot at a Best Picture win, it needs an Editing nomination. And this is the guild that nominates the editors. If you remember, they’re the ones that nominated Dallas Buyers Club last year, making everyone go, “Whoa!” So they can swing some major surprises if you’re not paying attention.

And then there’s the stat where something like, 80% of the winners of this the last ten to fifteen years went on to win the Oscar for Editing. Which is not a wholly surprising statistic, which is why I haven’t bothered to commit it to memory or go look it up, because it stands to reason that would be the case.

Anyway, here are your nominees for the 2014 ACE Eddie Awards: (more…)