Archive for December, 2015

Mike’s Top Ten Films of 2015

This is the first top ten list I’ve posted on this site that I’ve actually been excited about. Every other year, I’m usually struggling to get certain films seen under the wire, or I don’t have enough films that I really feel confident about in saying they were my favorites. I always feel like I need more time or don’t have enough movies.

This year was amazing. I had a full ten that I was ready to go with before Thanksgiving. And I had extras to make up a legitimately solid 11-20, all this with a solid 6-7 films I still needed to see that easily were in the top ten conversation. I’m ready this year. I’ve got 20 choices that could all be in my top ten.

2015 was a year where I found myself more open to liking movies than I’ve ever been. I went to the theater more than I have in a long time. Last year, I opened my list up to include four tiers of films. This year, I could have gone to five. The films feel all around better than they’ve been since 2012. (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Every time you leave me for a minute, it’s like goodbye. I like to believe it means you can’t live without me.”

A Place in the Sun - 13


The Unforgivable Films of 2015

For every yang, there is a ying. If I can pick my favorite films from a year, I can most certainly pick my least favorite.

The Unforgivables List began in 2010. I watched the movie The Switch (Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston and the jizz cup), and I got maybe 40 minutes into it before I got so irrationally angry that I had to stop and tell all of my friends they should avoid the movie like raw meat from the floor of a dive bar in Mexico. They thought what I wrote was funny. So I put it up on here, along with tirades against other movies that made me angry from that year. And then it became a thing I do.

This will be the sixth Unforgivables list. Previous “winners” (along with The Switch) have been Just Go With It, Big Miracle, Identity Thief and Heaven Is For Real. (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “You ladies decent?” “I am. I can’t speak for these two.”

Dreamgirls - 57


2015: The Year in Reviews (Observations & Wrap-Up)

As we do every year, I’ve gone over all twelve months of the year, as well as all the films that haven’t come out yet. And now… we analyze it all.

For reference purposes, here are all the articles involved in this:

2015 Film Release Calendar

2015: The Year in Reviews

January

January

February

February

March

March

April

April

May

May

June

June

July

July

August

August

September

September

October

October

November

November

December

December

Films Without Release Dates (A-L)

Films Without Release Dates (M-Z)

2014 Holdovers

Unreleased Films

 

(more…)


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Pic of the Day: “What do you propose?” “It’s simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.” “If it’s so simple, why haven’t you done it already?” “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”

The Dark Knight - 49


2015: The Year in Reviews (Films That Didn’t Get Released)

We’ve gone over everything that came out (almost all of which I saw, in case I hadn’t mentioned). Now we’re gonna go over what didn’t.

This list is populated predominantly with indies that weren’t given release dates, many of which will end up on VOD at some point over the next year, films I’ve been tracking for over a year that still haven’t come out, or movies that got pushed into the new year, probably because of quality issues. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in some cases. Because it allows me to reevaluate. I can decide if I want to keep paying attention to it or drop it altogether.

These are all movies that either had dates and got moved, or are ones I talked about back in January that still haven’t come out. I’ll remind you what each film is about, tell you what the status of it is, and decide whether or not I want to continue paying attention to it for next year’s Film Release Calendar.

Here are the films of 2015 that didn’t get released: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “I like my convictions undiluted, same as I do my bourbon.”

Jezebel - 2


2015: The Year in Reviews (December)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping December: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Hey, if you think l’m going to stay on this boat for three months…” “Now, look here, son. l don’t blame you none. Now you won’t me either after the bile’s out of your system. And even if your daddy was half what you say, it wouldn’t be right nor just to gamble two weeks good fishing against a yarn give out by an upset boy. But l am a fair-minded man, and while you’re aboard, l’ll pay you wages. $3 a month.”

Captains Courageous - 6


2015: The Year in Reviews (November)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping November: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Did you have the air-conditioning checked? I told you to have the air-conditioning checked.” “I had the air-conditioning checked. I don’t know what for. You never allow me to turn it on.” “Hush up!”

Driving Miss Daisy - 8


2015: The Year in Reviews (October)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping October: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “It’s a Major Award!” “A Major Award? Shucks, I wouldn’t know that. It looks like a lamp.” “It is a lamp, you nincompoop, but it’s a Major Award. I won it!”

A Christmas Story - 24


2015: The Year in Reviews (September)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping September: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “You see, George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?”

It's a Wonderful Life - 79


2015: The Year in Reviews (August)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping August: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “How could it be so? It came without ribbons!… it came without tags!… it came without packages, boxes, or bags!”

How the Grinch Stole Christmas - 163


2015: The Year in Reviews (July)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping July: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “Boy, are you stupid, Charlie Brown.” “What kind of a tree is that?” “You were supposed to get a good tree. Can’t you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?” “I told you he’d goof it up. He isn’t the kind you can depend on to do anything right.” “You’re hopeless, Charlie Brown.”

A Charlie Brown Christmas - 100


Oscars 2015: Best Visual Effects Shortlist

They announced the Best Visual Effects Shortlist.

I’ve honestly forgotten what the longlist was, so I’m not even gonna bother looking back. This is the new reality. These are the 10 we have to deal with, from which we will get our category.

Ant-Man
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Ex Machina
Jurassic World
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Tomorrowland
The Walk (more…)


2015: The Year in Reviews (June)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping June: (more…)


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Pic of the Day: “This fog’s as thick as peanut butter!” “You mean pea soup.” “You eat what you like, and I’ll eat what I like!”

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - 52


2015: The Year in Reviews (May)

Look, this is the fifth year I’m doing this. You guys know what it is by now. Every January I go over everything scheduled to come out, and about 200 more movies, just to be safe. I guess what I’m gonna think about them, and then immediately forget I did it. Then, in December, I recap everything I saw and see how I did.

I put up batches of reviews for everything I saw, once in April, once in August, and once… yesterday. Those contain my initial thoughts on the films after I saw them. I take those thoughts and match them against what I said back in January, plus I take some time to reflect upon how my thoughts have changed in the time between when I saw the movie and now (since only crazy people develop a final opinion on a movie after a single watch). It’s very straightforward. Plus… five years. I know you’re supposed to treat every person as if they’re reading for the first time, but there’s only like twelve of us who read the crap I write anyway.

Today we’re recapping May: (more…)