Archive for March 2, 2011

Movies That Sound Like Pornos (An Incomplete List)

This all began when I thought up a great thing to do when drinking with friends: Go down the IMDB Top 250 and picture each of the titles as porn titles. See which ones were the funniest. We had a good time, so, I figured, let’s extend the game.

Here’s a list of all movies whose titles could be the titles of porn films. Some of them you have to think hard about (not gonna do it…), but trust me, they could all be the titles of porn films if thought about in the right (or wrong, if you’re Catholic) frame of mind.

Some of the titles will be obvious. You’ll know immediately what a porno called Shaft is about. Others take some thinking. You know, sometimes the funny thing will be picturing the plot of the film turned into a porno, sometimes it’ll just be the title — sometimes it’s best left to the imagination. Others already sound like pornos or sex tapes that exist (I’m talking specifically of An American in Paris and The Heiress). I’m sure you can figure it out. I’ll give you an example to get you started:

Schindler’s List

Multiple options here. You could take the plot of the movie and turn it into a porno. Which is just so gloriously offensive and wrong that I’m starting the script as I type. The other option is taking the title and picturing some dude named Schindler creating a list of people he’s going to fuck. Like he’s got some magical Kill Bill list tattooed on his dick. And every time he fucks one of the people on the list their name disappears. It’s just like Beauty and the Beast. (more…)

Pic of the Day: “Prepare to be amazed beyond all expectations. After all it is what I do.”